Free. To the miserable condition of a lover! Sack. Pish that's preferable to half-pay; a woman's resolution may break before the peace: push her home, colonel, there's no parlying with the fair sex. Col. Were the lady her own mistress, I have some reasons to believe I should soon command in chief. Free. You know Mrs. Lovely, Mr. Sackbut ? Sack. Know her1 Ay, poor Nancy : I have carried her to school many a frosty morning. Alas! if she's the woman, I pity you, colonel: her father, my old master, was the most whimsical out-of-the-way temper'd man I ever heard of, as you will guess by his last will and testament.-This was his only child: and I have heard him wish her dead a thousand times. Col. Why so? Sack. He hated posterity, you must know, and wish'd the world were to expire with himself.—He used to swear, if she had been a boy, he would have qualified him for the opera. Free. 'Twas a very unnatural resolution in a father. Sack. He died worth thirty thousand pounds, which he left to his daughter, provided she married with the consent of her guardian but that she might be sure never to do so, he left her in the care of four men, as opposite to each other as the four elements; each has his quarterly rule, and three months in a year she is oblig'd to be subject to each of their humours, and they are pretty different, I assure you. She is just come from Bath. Col. 'Twas there I saw her. Sack. Ay, sir, the last quarter was her beau guar- dian's. reign. Col. She visited a lady who boarded in the same house with me: I liked her person, and found an opportunity to tell her so. She replied, she had no objection to mine; but if I could not reconcile contradictions, I must not think of her, for that she was condemned to the caprice of four persons, who never yet agreed in any one thing, and she was obliged to please them all. Sack. 'Tis most true, sir; I'll give you a short description of the inen, and leave you to judge of the poor lady's condition. One is a kind of virtuoso, a silly half-witted fellow, but positive and surly, fond of every thing antique and toreign, and wears his clothes of the fashion of the last century; doats upon travellers, and believes more of Sir John Mandeville than he does of the Bible. Col. That must be a rare odd fellow! Sack. Another is a 'Change-broker; a fellow that will out-lye the devil for the advantage of stock, and cheat his father that got him, in a bargain: he is a great stickler for trade, and hates every man that wears a sword. Free. He is a great admirer of the Dutch manage ment, and swears they understand trade better than any nation under the sun. : Sack. The third is an old beau, that has May in his fancy and dress, but December in his face and his heels he admires all the new fashions, and those must be French; loves operas, balls, masquerades, and is always the most tawdry of the whole company on a birth-day. Col. These are pretty opposite to one another, truly; and the fourth, what is he, landlord ? Sack. A very rigid quaker, whose quarter began this day.I saw Mrs. Lovely go in, not above two hours ago,-Sir Philip set her down. What think you now, colonel, is not the poor lady to be pitied? Col. Ay, and rescu'd too, landlord. Free. In my opinion that's impossible. Col. There is nothing impossible to a lover. What would not a man attempt for a fine woman and thirty thousand pounds? Besides, my honour is at stake; I promised to deliver her, and she bid me win her and wear her. Sack. That's fair, faith. Free. If it depended upon knight-errantry, I should not doubt your setting free the damsel; but to have avarice, impertinence, hypocrisy, and pride, at once to deal with, requires more cunning than generally attends a man of honour. Col. My fancy tells me I shall come off with glory. I am resolved to try, however.-Do you know all the guardians, Mr. Sackbut ? Sack. Very well, sir; they all use my house. Col. And will you assist me, if occasion requires ? Sack. In every thing I can, colonel. Free. I'll answer for him; and whatever I can serve you in, you may depend on. I know Mr. Periwinkle and Mr. Tradelove; the latter has a very great opimon of my interest abroad.--I happen'd to have a letter from a correspondent two hours before the news arrived of the French king's death: 1 communicated it to him: upon which he bought all the stock he could, and what with that, and some wagers he laid, he told me he had got to the tune of nive hundred pounds; so that I am much in his good graces. Col. I don't know but you may be of service to me, Freeman. Free. If I can, command me, colonel. Col. Isn't it possible to find a suit of clothes ready made at some of these sale-shops fit to rig out a beau, think you, Mr. Sackbut r Sack. O hang'em-No, colonel, they keep nothing ready made that a gentleman would be seen in: bụt I can fit you with a suit of clothes, if you'd make a figure.-Velvet and gold brocade- hey were pawn'd to me by a French Count, who had been stript at play, and wanted money to carry him home; he promised to send for them, but I have not heard any thing of him. Free. He has not fed upon frogs long enough yet to recover his loss; ha, ha! Col. Ha, ha! Well, the clothes will do Mr. Sackbut, tho' we must have three or four fellows in tawdry liveries: they can be procur'd, I hope. Free. Egad! I have a brother come from the WestIndies that can match you; and, for expedition-sake, you shall have his servants: there's a black, a taw. ney-moor, and a Frenchman; they don't speak one word of English, so can make no mistake. Col. Excellent!-Egad! I shall look like an Indian prince. First, I'll attack my beau guardian; where lives he? Sack. Faith, somewhere about St. James's; tho' to say in what street I cannot; but any chairman will tell you where Sir Philip Modelove lives. Free. Oh you'll find him in the Park at eleven every day; at least, I never pass thro' at that hour without seeing him there.-But what do you intend ? Col. To address him in his own way, and find what he designs to do with the lady. Free. And what then? Col. Nay, that I cann't tell; but I shall take my measures accordingly. Sack. Well, 'tis a mad undertaking in my mind: but here's to your success, colonel. [Drinks. Col. 'Tis something out of the way, I confess; but fortune may chance to smile, and I succeed.—Come, landlord, let me see those clothes. Freeman, I shall expect you'll leave word with Mr. Sackbut where one |