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Free. To the miserable condition of a lover!.
Sack. Pish! that's preferable to half-pay; a wo. man's resolution may break before the peace : push her home, colonel, there's no parlying with the fair
Col. Were the lady her own mistress, I have some reasons to believe I should soon command in chief.
Free. You know Mrs. Lovely, Mr. Sackbut?
Sack. Know heri Ay, poor Nancy : I have carried her to school many a frosty morning. Alas! if she's the woman, I pity you, colonel : her father, my old master, was the most whimsical out-of-the-way temper'd man I ever heard of, as you will guess by his last will and testament.- This was his only child : and I have heard him wish her dead a thousand times.
Col. Why so ?
Sack. He hated posterity, you must know, and wish'd the world were to expire with himself.--He used to swear, if she had been a boy, he would have qualified him for the opera.
Free. 'Twas a very unnatural resolution in a father.
Sack. He died worth thirty thousand pounds, which he left to his daughter, provided she married with the consent of her guardian but that she might be sure never to do so, he left her in the care of four men, as opposite to each other as the four elements, each has his quarterly rule, and three months in a year she is oblig'd to be subject to each of their humours, and
they are pretty different, I assure you.--She is just come from Bath.
Col. 'Twas there I saw her.
Sack. Ay, sir, the last quarter was her beau guar. dian's. -She appears in all public places during his reign.
Col. She visited a lady who boarded in the same house with me: I liked her person, and found an opportunity to tell her so. She ieplied, she had no objection to mine; but if I could not reconcili contradictions, I must not think of her, for that she was condemned to the caprice of four persons, whii never yet agreed in any one thing, and she was obliged to please them all.
Sack. 'Tis most true, sir; I'll give you a short description of the inen, and leave you to judge of the poor lady's condition. One is a kind of virtuoso, a silly half-witted fellow, but positive and surly, fond of every thing antique and toreign, and wears his clothes of the fashion of the last century; doats non travellers, and believes more of Sir Juhn Mandeville than he does of the Bible.
Col. That must be a rare odd fellow!
Sack. Another is a 'Change bruker ; a fellow that will out-lye the devil for the advantage of stuck, and cheat his father that got him, in a bar ain : le is a great stickler for trade, and hates every man that wears a sword.
Free. He is a great admirer of the Dutch manage
ment, and swears they understand trade better than any nation under the sun.
Sack. The third is an old beau, that has May in his fancy and dress, but December in his face and his heels: he admires all the new fashions, and those must be French; loves operas, balls, masquerades, and is always the most tawdry of the whole company on a birth-day.
Col. These are pretty opposite to one another, truly; and the fourth, what is he, landlord ?
Sack. A very rigid quaker, whose quarter began this day.--I saw Mrs. Lovely go in, not above two hours ago,--Sir Philip set her down. What think you now, colonel, is not the poor lady to be pitied?
Col. Ay, and rescu'd too, landlord.
Col. There is nothing impossible to a lover. What would not a man attempt for a fine woman and thirty thousand pounds ? Besides, my honour is at stake; I promised to deliver her, and she bid me win her and
Sack. That's fair, faith.
Free. If it depended upon knight-errantry, I should not doubt your setting free the damsel; but to have avarice, impertinence, hypocrisy, and pride, at once to deal with, requires more cunning than generally attends a man of honour.
Col. My fancy tells me I shall come off with glory.
I am resolved to try, however.-Do you know all the guardians, Mr. Sackbut?
Sack. Very well, sir; they all use my house.
assist me, if occasion requires ? Sack. In every thing I can, colonel.
Free. I'll answer for him; and whatever I can serve you in, you may depend on. I know Mr. Peri. winkle and Mr. Tradelove; the latter has a very great opinion of my interest abroad.--I happen'ul to have a letter from a crre pondent two hours before the news arrived of the French king's dead: I communicated it to him: upon which he bought all we stock he could, and what wil thai, and some wa, ers he la d, he told me he had got to the tune of five hundred pounds; so that I am much in his good graces.
Col. I don't know but you may be of service to me, Freeman.
Free. If I can, command me, colonel.
Col. Isn't it possible iu find a sun of clothes ready made at som of these salc-shops hi to rig wut a beull, think yoli, Mr. Sackcuir
Sack. O hang 'um--No, colonel, they keep noching ready made that a gentlenian woud be seen in: but I can fit you with a suit of ciothes, if you'd maki a figure.-Velvet and gold brocaue-! hey were pawn d to me by a French Count, who had been siript at play, and wanted money to carry him hone; hic promised to send for them, but I have not heard any thing of him.
Free. He has not fed upon frogs long enough yet to recover his loss; ha, ha!
Col. Ha, ha! Well, the clothes will do Mr. Sack. but,--tho' we must have three or four fellows in tawdry liveries: they can be procur’d, I hope.
Free. Egad! I have a brother come from the WestIndies that can match you ; and, for expedition-sake, you
shall have his servants: there's a black, a taw. ney-moor, and a Frenchman; they don't speak one word of English, so can make no mistake.
Col. Excellent 1-Egad! I shall look like an Indian prince. First, I'll attack my beau guardian; where lives he?
Sack. Faith, somewhere about St. James's; tho'to say in what street I cannot; but any chairman will tell you where Sir Philip Modelove lives.
Free. Oh! you'll find him in the Park at eleven every day; at least, I never pass thro' at that hour without seeing him there. But what do you intend ?
Col. To address him in his own way, and find what he designs to do with the lady.
Free. And what then?
Col. Nay, that I cann't tell; but I shall take my measures accordingly.
Sack. Well, 'tis a mad undertaking in my mind : but here's to your success, colonel. [Drinks.
Col. 'Tis something out of the way, I confess; but fortune may chance to smile, and I succeed.-Come, landlord, let me see those clothes. Freeman, I shall expect you'll leave word with Mr. Sackbut where one