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gay young wife and the doting old husband make up, that hideous woman turned right round in the theatre, threw her arms about my neck, and blubbered: "Ah, husband! why can't you and I do so, too?" You ought to have heard the applause of the audience, and the whistling and groans of the boys in the gallery. How I shook her off and got out, I don't know. The last thing I heard was those little imps groaning "Ah, husband! O cracky!" And I knew nothing more till I found myself safely locked in my room. I haven't stirred out of it since.

It's dreadfully wearing on a fellah, such trouble of mind is. Don't you think I'm getting thin? You see it prevents my marrying anybody else, and there's no way in the world left for me to provide for myself. How'd I come to be taken in? Better ask Bangs that question. Confound Bangs! I've a notion to challenge him. Do you know whether he's opposed to duelling on principle? If I thought he was, I'd send him a challenge.

Another knock! it's probably that infernal woman, coming to pester me again. She's attracted the attention of the lodgers already to such an extent that they're always poking their heads out of their rooms to listen and laugh, every time they hear her in the hall. I've instructed the chambermaid, Nora, to say that she's a stingy old aunt of mine, who has lent me money; but how much of such a story they believe is more than I know. I'm afraid I haven't imposed upon their credulity much, for she 's told them all that she was Mrs. Fitzquisite, and that her husband was very cruel to her. He'd won her virgin affectious, and now he was breaking her heart. I suppose it does go hard with the old thing. She can't help loving me, you see; no woman can. ought to see her, Tompkins; it would do you good. Whoever's there may knock till they 're tired; I'm not going to run any risks. Aw! Nora again, "wid another gintleman friend." I wonder who it can be! Sit still, Tompkins; probably one of us fellahs.

You

Mrs. Fitzquisite! the deuce! You sha'n't come in-you sha'n't! Help me hold the door, Tompkins; won't you? If she gets in, I'm ruined. 'Cause she 'll keep possession, and I can't help it. What do you sit there laughing for? h-e-l-p!

Stronger than I, are you? Well, what of it? You 're in at last, and now what are you going to do? Going to stay? Well, if you're going to stay, I'm going to quit. You'll take possession of my property? You're welcome to it, madam.

I've got my curling-tongs, my hairbrush, and my Tonique in my pocket; my money, what there is of it, is in the same place. I've got a carpet-bag full of shirts and cravats, and my best suit is on my back. I owe my landlady two weeks board, for which she is welcome to that empty trunk; while you, my dear lady, may retain as a souvenir of the past whatever old clothes may be at hand. You'll get a divorce? I hope so, madam. My only regret about that is that it will take you some time to do it. In the mean time I shall cultivate myself assiduously, and be ready for a new campaign when the field is open.

Don't hold on to me so. Come on, Tompkins, let us quit. Let go of me, I say; let go of me. Hav'n't you any modesty, to allow yourself to be seen by all these boarders choking me in that style?

Haw, Nora! you 're standing there giggling, I see. What on earth did you allow this person to get into my apartments for? I thought you were a friend of mine, Nora; I didn't think you'd do so. Do I see that ring? Yes, I see it what of it. It's the one I gave you. "It's pure brass, it is; like your face for giving it to me. Gentlemen as wants their wives kept out of their aparthments, mustn't be imposing on the sarvants wid counterfeit jewelry. Och! but didn't I make up my mind to let the cat out of the bag, the minit I was convinced that ye'd bin desaving me. A brass ring, indade; and here it is, wid many returns of the same, and wishing you lots of comfort wid yer swate young bride." Oh, very well. If you don't want it, let it alone; better go in and attend to the new lodger; she appears to be in a bad way. Glad the landlady 's out this afternoon. Tell her she 's welcome to the trunk.

Good-bye, Mrs. Fitzquisite; you 're monarch of all you survey. Hope you'll enjoy yourself. If you want to wear the breeches, you can do it to your heart's content-there's seven pairs in the pantry. The next time I marry I don't think I shall get Bangs to pick out a wife for me. I start for California to-morrow, and if you don't hear from me in three years you may consider yourself at liberty to marry the first man you can find who 'll have you.

Stop her, Tompkins, a minit, won't you, till I get fairly out on the street; now, here goes for parts unknown, and a long farewell to the green merino.

In taking revenge a man is but even with his enemy; in passing it over, he is his superior.

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Fig. 10.-Dress of light blue challie, trimmed with folds of wrist is gathered up to the size blue silk.

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