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have worse,

Aquinas, Burgersdicius, and Scheiblerus, of the ten predicaments. Go; and then say " The form

of a hat," if you dare. Satisfaction Longh. O, I thought, Doctor, soinething

worse than all this had happened. Apprehen. Nev. What would


unless a Oftentation comet were to come from beyond the orbit of of learning. Saturn, and either burn the world by its near

approach ; drown it by attracting the sea, and raising a tide three miles high; or force it from its orbit by impinging against it, and make it either fly out into infinite space, or rush to the

sun the centre of our system. Except this, what Apprehen. can be worse than confounding language, de

stroying qualities, demolishing predicaments, and in short overturning all science from the founda

tion. For logic is the foundation of science. Intreating Longh. Why, it may be a bad thing for what

I know. But, pray, Doctor, let a body speak

with you.


Anger. Nev. [To the person in the house,] An in

pertinent fellow ! Intrcating. Longh. He is so; but I want your advice,

Doctor, inAnger. Nev. A blockhead! Intreating. Longh. Well, I own he is so ; but no more

of that, pray good Doctor. Pride. Nev. To pretend to dispute with me! Intreating. Longh. He is very much in the wrong, to be But now let ine ask you a question,

DocAlking ad- tor. You must know, Sir, that I have been thinkvice.

ing of marrying: Only I am a little afraid of that, you know of ; the misfortune for which no body is pitied. Now, I should be glad you would, as a philosopher, give me your opinion on this

point. Anger.

Nev. Rather than admit such an expression, I would deny substantial forms, and abstract entities.

Longh. Plague on the man! He knows nothRemonftr. ing of what I have been saying.

Why, Dr.




Neverout, I have been talking to you this hour, and you give me no answer.

Nev. I ask your pardon. I was engaged in Apology. supporting truth against ignorance : but now I have done. If what I have said will not convince, let the ignorant be ignorant still. What would you consult ine upon

? Longh. I want to talk with you about an affair Intreating. of consequence.

Nev. Good. And what tongue do you in- Inquiring. tend to use in the conversation with me ?

Longh. What tongue ? Why, the tongue I have in my mouth.

Nev. I mean, what language ; what speech ? Inquiring. Do you intend to talk with me in Latin, Greek, or Hebrer?

Longh. Not I. I don't know one of them from another.

Nev. Then you will use a modern language, Inquiring. I suppose, as the Italian, perhaps, which is sweet and musical. Logh. No.

Vexation. Nev. The Spanish, which is majestic and so- Inquiring. Longh. No.

Vexation. Nev. The English, which is copious and ex- Inquiring. pressive. Longh. Na.

Vexation. Nev. The High dutch is but an indifferent Inquiring. language, You won't, I suppose, make use of it in this conversation. Longh. No.

Vexation. Nev. And the Low Dutch is worse still. Inquiring. Will you

talk to me in Turkish ? It is a lofty language.

Long. No.

Nev. What think you of the Syriac, the Ara- Inquiring. bic, the Chaldaic, the Persian, the Palmyrene ? Do you choose any of them ? Longh. No.

Vexation, X



Inquiring. Nev. What language then ?
Vexation. Longh. Why the language we are talking

now. Satisfaction Nev. Oh ! you will speak in the vernacular Learned tongue ? If so, please to come on the left side. pride.

The right ear is for the foreign, and the learned

languages. Vexation. Longh. Here is a deal of ceremony with such Intreating. sort of people. I want to consult you, Doctor,

about an affair of consequence. Affectation Nev. O! I understand you.

You want my of learning. opinion upon some of the difficulties in philosophy,

as, for example, Whether substance and accident, are terms synonymous or equivocal, with regard to

the being 3 Vexation,

Longh. No that is not it. Aff Atation, Nev. Whether Logic is an art, or a Science ? Vexation,

Longh. No 110. I don't care a half-penny

which. Affectation. Nev. If it has for its object the three opera.

tions of the mind, or the third only. Vexation. Longh. That is not the affair. Affectation, Nev. Whether, properly speaking, there are

six categories, or only one ? Vexation. Longh. I don't care, if there were six bushels

of catechisms. That is not what I want. I

am Affectation. Nev. Perhaps you want to know whether the

conclusion is of the essence of the syllogism? Vexation. Longh. No, no, no. It is not about any such

point; but Affectation. Nev. Whether the essence of good is appeti

bility or suitableness? Vexation. Longh. I am going to tell you my business, Affectation. Nev. You would know, perhaps, if the good

and the end are reciprocal ? Vexation.

Longh. Not a bit. Affectation. Nev. Whether the end influences us by its

real essence, or by its intentional ?

Longh. No, no, it is quite another affair, 1 Vexation.

tell you.

Nev. You must explain yourself, then ; for Affectation. I have mentioned the most difficult points, and those that are commonly agitated in the schools in our times.

Longh. I should have told you my business Vexation. an hour

ago, if you would have heard me. Neυ. Pronounce then.

Affectation. Longh. and 2 The affair I want to consult Intreating. Nev. together > Speech was given to man on Affe&ation you about, Dr. Neverout, is this; I have had purpose, that by it he might express his thoughts; thoughts of marrying a young lady, who is and as the thoughts are the images of things, so very handsome, and much to my liking. I have words are the images of our thoughts. Make S asked her father's consent, and he has granted

use therefore of words to explain to ine your Sit. Only I am afraid I thoughts

Long. Plague on this everlasting talker. Who Impatieng. is like to be the wiser for him, if he will not so much as hear what one has to say to him ? I'll go to Dr. Doubty. Perhaps he will be more reasonable.----And, very fortunately, here he comes. I will consult him at once. -Dr. Doubty, I beg your wise advice about a matter Civility. of great concern to me.

Doubty. Be pleased, good Mr. Longhead, to Affe&ation alter your phraseology. Our philosophy directs to of learning. give out no decisive propositions ; but to speak of all things with uncertainty; and always to suspend our judgment. Therefore you ought not to say~" I beg your advice," but-" I seem to


beg it.”

Longh. I seem! What signifies talking of Surprise. seems ;

when I am here on the spot with Doubt. That is nothing to the purpose. You Affectation.



may imagine a thousand things, in which there

is no reality; Wonder. Longh. What ! is there no reality in my

being here talking with Dr. Doubty ? Affe&ation, Doubt. It is uncertain : and we ought to

doubt of every thing. You appear to my external senses to be here, as I, perhaps, to yours. But nothing is certain. All things are doubtful.

Longh. Sure, Dr. Doubty, you are disposed to be

inerry. Here am I : there are you : here is

no seem; no uncertainty ; nothing doubtful; but Chiding. all as plain as the nose on your face. Let us, for Intreaty.

shame, drop these whims, and talk of my business. You must know, Dr. Doubty, that I have had thoughts of marrying, and should be glad of your

opinion and advice. Affectation. Doubt. I dont know that you have had

thoughts of marrying. Vexation. Longh. But I tell it you. Affectation. Doubt. That may be, or it may not be.

. Anxiety. Longh. The young lady I had made choice of,

is very young, and very handsome. Affectation. Doubt. That may be, or it may not be. Anxiety. Longh. Do you think, I shall do wisely in

marrying her ?

Doubt. You may do wisely, for aught I know,

or you may do unwisely, for aught I know. Anxiety. Longh. 'I am very much in love with the

young lady. Affectation. Doubt. That is not impossible. Anxiety. Longh. But, as she is much younger than me,

I am afraid of, you know what. Affectation. Doubt. You may be afraid, for aught I

know. Anxiety. Longh. Do you think I should run the haz

ard of being a cuckold, if I should marry her ? Affectation. Doubt. There is no natural impossibility in

it. But if you should, you may, perhaps, not be the first, nor the last. But all things are uncertain.


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