deprived of the honors and immunities of their French estates. I heard of the sufferings of the amiable Marie Antoinette, and swore to avenge every look that had threatened her with insult. I went to the cavern of these Anthropophagi, assembled to debate, and gracefully putting the hilt of my sword to my lips-"I swear," cried I, "by the sacred cross of my sword, that if you do not instantly reinstate your king and his nobility, and your injured queen, I will cut the one-half of you to pieces." On which the President, taking up a leaden inkstand, flung it at my head. I stooped to avoid the blow, and rushing to the tribunal seized the Speaker, who was fulminating against the Aristocrats, and taking the creature by one leg, flung him at the President. I laid about me most nobly, drove them all out of the house, and, locking the doors, put the key in my pocket. I then went to the poor king, and making my obeisance to him-"Sire," said I, your enemies have all fled. I alone am the National Assembly at present, and I shall register your edicts to recall the princes and the nobility; and in future, if your majesty pleases, I will be your President and Council." He thanked me, and the amiable Marie Antoinette, smil ing, gave me her hand to kiss. At that moment I perceived a party of the National Assembly, who had rallied with the National Guards, and a vast procession of fishwomen, advancing against me. I deposited their Majesties in a place of safety, and with my drawn sword advanced against my foes. Three hundred fishwomen, with bushes dressed with ribbons in their hands, came hallooing and roaring against me like so many furies; I scorned to defile my sword with their blood; but seized the first that came up, and making her kneel down I knighted her with my sword, which so terrified the rest that they all set up a frightful yell and ran away as fast as they could for fear of being aristocrated by knighthood. As to the National Guards and the rest of the Assembly, I soon put them to flight; and having made prisoners of some of them, compelled them to take down their national, and put the old royal ccckade in its place. I then pursued the enemy to the top of a hill, where a most noble edifice dazzled my sight; noble and sacred it was, but now converted to the vilest purposes, their monument de grands hommes, a Christian church that these Saracens had perverted into abomination. I burst open the doors, and entered sword in hand. Here I observed all the National Assembly marching round a great altar erected to Voltaire; there was his statue in triumph, and the fishwomen with garlands decking it, and singing "Ça ira!" could bear the sight no longer: but rushed upon these pagans, and sacrificed them by dozens on the spot. The members of the Assembly, and the fishwomen, continued to invoke their great Voltaire, and all their masters in this monument de grands hommes, imploring them to come down and succor them against the Aristocrats and the sword of Munchausen. Their cries were horrible, like the shrieks of witches and enchanters versed in magic and the black art, while the thunder growled, and storms shook the battlements, and Rousseau, Voltaire, and Beelzebub appeared, three horrible spectres; one all meagre, mere skin and bone, and cadaverous, seemed death, that hideous skeleton: it was Voltaire, and in his hand were a lyre and a dagger. On the other side was Rousseau, with a chalice of sweet poison in his hand, and between them was their father Beelzebub. I shuddered at the sight, and with all the enthusiasm of rage, horror, and piety, rushed in among them. I seized that cursed skeleton, Voltaire, and soon compelled him to renounce all the errors he had advanced; and while he spoke the words, as if by magic charm, the whole assembly shrieked, and their pandemonium began to tumble in hideous ruin on their heads. I returned in triumph to the palace, where the Queen rushed into my arms, weeping tenderly. "Ah, thou flower of nobility," cried she, "were all the nobles of France like thee, we should never have been brought to this!" I con I bade the lovely creature dry her eyes, and with the King and Dauphin ascend my carriage and drive post to Mont-Medi, as not an instant was to be lost. They took my advice and drove away. veyed them within a few miles of MontMedi, when the King, thanking me for my assistance, hoped I would not trouble myself any farther, as he was then, he pre sumed, out of danger; and the Queen also, with tears in her eyes, thanked me on her knees, and presented the Dauphin for my blessing. In short, I left the King eating a mutton-chop. I advised him not to delay, or he would certainly be taken, and setting spurs to my horse, wished them a good evening and returned to England. If the King remained too long at table, and was taken, it was not my fault. END OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN. DEACON DODD. DEACON DODD once feelingly said, If I happened to scold her, she was so meek, burst, He wishes the second was with the first! THE LITTLE HATCHET STORY: WITH OCCASIONAL QUESTIONS BY A FIVE-YEAR-OLD HEARER. AND SO, smiling, we went on. "Well, one day, George's father-" "George who?" asked Clarence. "George Washington. He was a little boy, then, just like you. One day his father-" "Whose father?" demanded Clarence, with an encouraging expression of interest. "George Washington's; this great man we are telling you of. One day George "Oh! George would rather have his father lie?" We are patient and we love children, "And George came up and heard them but if Mrs. Caruthers hadn't come and got talking about it—” "Heard who talking about it?" "What apple-tree?" her prodigy at that critical juncture, we don't believe all Burlington could have pulled us out of the snarl. And as Clarence Alencon de Marchemont Caruthers pattered down the stairs we heard him telling his ma about a boy who had a father "The favorite tree that George cut named George, and he told him to cut down an apple-tree, and he said he'd rather tell a thousand lies than cut down one apple-tree. ROBERT J. BURDETTE. A QUEER POET. A WRITER in Oliver Optic's Magazine, speaking of the poet Milnes, says: "Many, many stories are told of his peculiarities, among which is an occasional indulgence in a childish affectation, which would al "So George came up and he said, most amount to imbecility, if it were not 'Father, I cannot tell a lie, I-' ” "Who couldn't tell a lie? Why, George Washington. He said, 'Father, I cannot tell a lie. It was "His father couldn't?" Why, no; George couldn't." "Oh I George? oh, yes!" assumed. I remember two instances, which, both happening on the same evening, raised a good laugh at his expense. The first of these niaiseries consisted in entering the room, in which a large party was gathered beneath the hospitable roof of Mrs. Basil Montague, accoutred in his "It was I cut down your apple-tree; I court dress, with sword, and all the other did-'" "His father did?" No, no; it was George said this." "Said he cut his father?" "No, no, no; said he cut down his apple-tree. George's apple-tree?" "No, no; his father's." "Oh!" "He said " "His father said?" "No, no, no; George said. 'Father, I cannot tell a lie, I did it with my little hatchet.' And his father said: Noble boy, I would rather lose a thousand trees than have you tell a lie.'" George did?" "No, his father said that." "Said he'd rather have a thousand apple-trees?" 'No, no, no; said he'd rather lose thousand apple-trees than-" 'fixin's,' as the Yankees would say, of that absurd and pretentious uniform. Observing two very charming ladies, with whom he had not the slightest acquaintance, seated on a couch at one end of the room, engaged evidently in a tête-a-tête, 'the member for Parnassus,' as Daniel O'Connell once scornfully termed him in the House of Commons, advanced to where they were seated, and adjusting his sword, he knelt midway between them, listened blandly to their conversation, first turning to one and then to the other, and joining in as a sort of Greek chorus on a diminutive scale. Mrs. Basil Montague, with whom Milnes was an especial favorite, saw the peril of her pet, and rushed to his rescue. My dear lady Dash, and my dear lady Dish" (we think it necessary to add that a these are not the real names of the "fair astonished," there being no such titles in Debrett's Peerage,) "don't be alarmed This is my young protégé," (Mrs. Mon "Said he'd rather George would?" "No, said he'd rather he would than have him lie." tague was old enough to be Milnes's | Haydn smiled contemptuously at the grandmother), "Mr. Monckton Milnes. visionary presumption of his pupil, and He won't hurt you; but he is always placing the notes before him, struck doing the most absurd things in the the keys of the instrument. Surprised at world. But he is a dear fellow and writes its simplicity he dashed away till he the sweetest verses in the world. Pray reached the middle of the piece, when, send your album to him." Milnes took stopping all at once he exclaimed, "How's advantage of this little diversion in his this, Mozart? How's this? Here my favor, and rose to his feet, to be intro- hands are stretched out to both ends of duced to the hitherto astonished ladies. the piano, yet there is a middle key to be Sydney Smith, the great clerical wit, who touched. Nobody can play such music,was seated at a little distance, and had not even the composer himself." Mozart seen and heard all, observed to Leigh smiled at the half-excited indignation and Hunt, with whom he was then engaged in perplexity of the great master, and taking conversation, Well, my dear Hunt, I the seat he had quitted, struck the instru have often heard of the cool of the even- ment with such an air of self-assurance ing, but have never seen it till now; and that Haydn began to think himself duped. it is a great deal cooler than I had ima- Running along the simple passages, he gined." came to that part which his teacher had pronounced impossible to be played. Mozart, it must be remarked, was favored, or at least endowed, with an extremely long nose. Reaching the difficult passage, he stretched both hands to the ex"My dear Sydney, I promised the Arch-treme long ends of the piano, and, leanbishop of Canterbury to drop in at Mrs. Howley's reception to-night. If you are going, we may as well go together." 66 The second niaiserie of the member for Pontefract and Parnassus, on this special evening, happened only some half-hour afterwards, when, advancing to the great clerical wit, he said, "I am not invited," replied Sydney Smith; "but I will give you a word of advice. I am very much flattered at your addressing me as Sydney; but, for heaven's sake, don't call the Primate of all England 'Billy;' he might not like it." Our readers must bear in mind that the private name of the Archbishop of Canterbury was "William Howley," and that he was about eighty years old. A MUSICAL DUEL. THE following story is told of Mozart at the time when he was a pupil of Haydn: Haydn had challenged Mozart to compose a piece of music which he could not play at sight. Mozart accepted the banter, and a champagne supper was to be the forfeit. Everything being arranged between the two composers, Mozart took his pen and a sheet of paper, and in five minutes dashed off a piece of music, and, much to the surprise of Haydn, handed it to him, saying, "There is a piece of music which you cannot play, and I can; you are to give the first trial." ing forward, bobbed his nose against the middle key which nobody could play. Haydn burst into an immoderate fit of laughter, and after acknowledging he was beaten, he declared that Nature had endowed Mozart with a capacity for music which he had never discovered. A SEASONABLE PHILANTHRO PIST. What does he do when sidewalks glare, He spreads his ashes. And when down town we creeping go, He spreads his ashes. Long may he live, that man of soul! Who spreads his ashes. And when he leaves this world of slides, RIP VAN WINKLE. A POSTHUMOUS WRITING OF DIEDRICH By Woden, God of Saxons, From whence comes Wensday, that is Wodensday, [WASHINGTON IRVING, one of the most distinguished of modern authors, and one of the earliest to shed lustre upon American letters, was born in New York city, April 3, 1783. His earliest literary productions were a number of letters on dramatic and social topics, contributed to The Morning Chronicle, under the nom de plume of "Jonathan Oldstyle." After some time de voted to the study of law he travelled in Europe for the benefit of his health. Returning in 1806, after an absence of two years, he was admitted to the bar. The following year he began, in fellowship with his brother William, and James K. Paulding, the publication of a semi-monthly magazine, now famous as the Salmagundi, or the Whim-Whams and Opinions of Launcelot Lang staff and others. In 1809 was published The History of New York, by Diedrich Knickerbocker. Having no inclination for law, Mr. Irving engaged in commerce with his brother as a silent partner, but gave his time to literature. In 1815 he revisited England, and establishel a friendship with Campbell and Walter Scott. While there the failure of his commercial house obliged him to employ his pen as a livelihood. The Sketch Book, portions of which had appeared in New York, was offered to Murray and to Constable, but was declined by both those publishers. Subsequently Murray took it at £200, which sum he afterwards increased to £400. It was originally published in 1820. The author was now famous at home and abroad; and when Bracebridge Hall was ready (in 1822), Mr. Murray offered 1000 guineas for the copyright without having seen the MS. For the Chronicle of the Conquest of Granada (1829), he gave £2000, and for the History of the Life and Voyage of U. & A. (1837); a number of Tales and Sketches under the title of Wolfert's Roost (1855); Biography and Postical Remains of Margaret Miller Davidson (1841); Oliver Goldsmith (1849); Mahomet and his Successors (1849-50); The Life of George Washington (1855-6). Edward Everett, advising the young aspirant after literary distinction, says: "If he wishes to study a style which possesses the characteristic beauties of Addison, its ease, simplicity, and elegance, with greater accuracy, point and spirit, let him give his days and nights to the volumes of Irving." From 1842 to 1846, Mr. Irving was United States Minister to Spain. Returning home in the latter year, he spent the remaining years of his honored life in his charming retreat "Sunnyside," near Tarrytown, N. Y., on the banks of the Hudson, where he died Nov. 28, 1859. He never married.] WHOEVER has made a voyage up the Hudson, must remember the Kaatskill mountains. They are a dismembered branch of the great Appalachian family, and are seen away to the west of the river, swelling up to a noble height, and lording it over the surrounding country. Every change of season, every change of weather, indeed, every hour of the day, produces some change in the magical hues and shapes of these mountains; and they are regarded by all the good wives, far and near, as perfect barometers. When the weather is fair and settled, they are clothed in blue and purple, and print their bold outlines on the clear evening sky; but sometimes, when the rest of the landscape is cloudless, they will gather a hood of gray vapors about their summits, which, in the last rays of the setting sun, will glow and light up like a crown of glory. At the foot of these fairy mountains, the voyager may have descried the light smoke curling up from a village, whose Christopher Columbus (1831), 3000 guineas. Tales of a shingle roofs gleam among the trees, just Traveller, by Geoffrey Crayon, appeared in 1824; and where the blue tints of the upland melt The Alhambra, in 1832. In 1829 Mr. Irving accepted the away into the fresh green of the nearer post of Secretary of Legation to the American Embassy landscape. It is a little village of great anat London. In 1830 he was honored with one of the tiquity, having been founded by some of two fifty-guinea gold medals ordered by George IV., to the Dutch colonists, in the early times of be presented to the two authors adjudged to have at the province, just about the beginning of tained the highest excellence in historical composition; the government of the good Peter Stuyand the following year he received from the University vesant (may he rest in peace!), and there of Oxford the degree of LL.D. Arriving at New York, May were some of the houses of the original 21st, 1832, after an absence of seventeen years, he met settlers standing within a few years, built fairest triumph that has yet been accorded to literary of small yellow bricks brought from Holdesert in the New World." His subsequent publications land, having latticed windows and gable were a Tour on the Prairies (1835); Recollections of Ab- fronts, surmounted with weathercocks. botsford and Newstead Abbey; Legends of the Conquest of In that same village, and in one of these Spain; Astoria (1836); Adventures of Capt. Bonneville, very houses (which to tell the precise a reception which Edward Everett pronounced "the |