a

entire attention to the more lively Penelope; whom he was more than once heard to describe to his more immediate crones as 66 regular trump! an out and outer, and no mistake;" but as this was a rather ambiguous compliment to pay a young lady of such starch prudery, he took pretty good care it should never reach her ears, but was only uttered when the doctor was taking his brandyand-water, quite cosily, in Marmaduke's study, whither these worthies had adjourned somewhere about two in the morning, after a terrible country-dance, which had nearly finished them.

"I say, doctor," quoth a young fellow of the name of Jack Winter, puffing a volume of cigar-smoke out of his mouth, as he lolled upon Marmaduke's table with easy impudence, "you seem quite down upon that girl of old Pestle's,-wish you joy, Choppy!"

"Thank you for nothing, John," retorted Choppy with edifying gravity, "and very much obliged, too, into the bargain, but old birds aren't to be caught with chaff."

"They are with tin though, Choppy, my boy!" interposed Winter with a horse laugh," Has the gal plenty of that, Choppy? I'd stick up to her myself, ugly as she is, if I was only certain of that."

"Shall I give you the reversion, John ?" inquired the doctor cooly.

"Thank you for nothing, doctor!-why you scarcely know the gal, to speak to, yourself."

"Do I not? why man, I've done scarcely anything else all night, but ogle, and grin, and squeeze her hand under the table, whenever Judith Liptrot wasn't looking:-and if that's not knowing a young lady with a vengeance, sir, I should like to know

what is ?"

"Then if that's all you've done, doctor, I must say your time's been ill disposed of,-why man, she's as ugly as-I wont say what, but this I will say,-that a Cairo mummy buried in the time of the Pharoahs, isn't a more fusty piece of goods!-but she'll make a delightful Mrs. Doctor Yellowchops the second;" and Jack rolled himself off the table and walked away.

"A confounded puppy," growled the doctor as he strode after him, just in time to see the young vagabond being introduced by old Pestle, as he impudently called that venerated individual, to his daughter," he only means to roast her, and as he says, she's rayther dry and tough for that."

It was some alleviation to the doctor's jealousy, to perceive that Miss Pestlepolge by no means favoured the advances her new partner was evidently in the act of making her; there was a coyness in her manner, almost amounting to timidity,-a diffidence which sate so becomingly upon her, that flattered Doctor Yellowchops' hopes in spite of himself, as he watched every movement and gesture with the most lynx-eyed watchfulness; and so he

returned to the supper room, and solaced himself by quaffing bumpers of champagne to the fair Penelope, which had the additional merit of being kept a perfect secret from the rest of the company.

Halt an hour after, the doctor might be seen hovering round Marmaduke Hutton, evidently determined to do the agreeable with all his might.

"What a delightful spectacle, such a happy scene as this must be, to a man like you, Mr. Hutton," said he with a sudden outburst; "Really, sir! when I look upon the number of beaming, joyful, animated, faces, around me, and remember that it is the act of one man that has called all this happiness into being, my emotions get the better of me, in spite of myself,-and-"

"My dear Yellowchops," retorted Marmaduke, all the malevolent shrewdness of his nature seeming to concentrate in his sharp, puckered, repulsive looking mouth; "all that you have just said is very fine, and very affecting, and to a man of my universal love of my fellow beings," and here every line and wrinkle of the old villain's yellow visage seemed stamped with aqua-fortis, "to a being so loving and philanthropic as I am, doctor, such a sight,-ha! ha! must be worth kingdoms. By Jove! old boy, I'd not exchange my feelings at this moment, to be emperor of all the Russias! I'll be shot if I would !"

A very odd expression came over the doctor's face, as he received this announcement; it did not, however, prevent his exclaiming, as he wrung Marmaduke by the hand, "Mr. Hutton, I envy you those feelings!"

That night, or to speak more correctly, that morning, after Doctor Yellowchops had left Marmaduke Hutton's "festive halls,” and returned home, he staggered into his own dining-room, and held the candle, he carried in his hand, up to the portrait of the deceased Mrs. Pangrado Yellowchops, which hung in all the glory of lace, and satin, and pearls, over the sideboard; the artist, notwithstanding all his efforts, had not been able to conceal the envious crow's-feet, the tell-tale wrinkles, and faded complexion of the woman of sixty, all of which were rendered more repulsive by the leering air of languishment, "the mute inglorious," Sir Joshua had contrived to throw into his handiwork. Doctor Yellowchops in fact, had, when first settling in the neighbourhood, twenty years before, as a wild young fellow with more impudence than cash, married her out of hand on the strength of her wealth; but as the latter was discovered after marriage to be merely a pleasant fiction, existing only in her own imagination, her gay young spouse had revenged himself, by treating her with neglect, if nothing more; scrupulously refraining, however, from chronicling on her tombstone, the advanced age of his first love, and in this he did wisely.

September, 1847.-VOL. L.-NO. CXCVII.

D

And now as he looked upon the simpering image of his first helpmeet, he vowed a vow, that on the morrow, the elaborately gilded canvas should vanish into the dreary recesses of the lumber room; and he went to bed, to dream of Penelope Pestlepolge.

Shall we take a peep into the chamber of that fair vestal? we tremble at our own temerity, and our grey goose-quill quivers at our own audacity, as we venture to depict what is passing.

Penelope was sitting on a low stool, submitting to the infliction of having her "back hair," twisted into an elaborate club, by Miss Kitty Noggles, who looked, we are fain to confess, very dissipated, and rather sleepy, as well. Kitty had, in fact, been the belle of the servant's hall, on this eventful night, and having openly rebelled against the neglect of old Robert, and the snubbing of the housekeeper, who "thought her, a pert, forward thing amongst the men, and quite owdacious to her elders and betters," she was naturally, in a very high-flown temper, and by no means disposed to take quietly the tiffs and humours of Miss Pestlepolge.

"And lor' a mussey, mem," continued Kitty, whose volubility was really quite alarming, owing to the punch and the dancing, they do say that this Doctor Pangreedy, wuz a perfect bluebeard, mem, to his first poor dear darlin' of a wife; the tales they do tell, mem, are enough to make the blood run cold in one's body."

"Who's been telling you all this stuff, Noggles?" inquired Penelope, in her tartest voice.

"Who, mem?" reiterated Miss Noggles, indignantly, "Jesse Jopling and I, danced a good deal together, first and last, and Jesse told me all about, how the doctor married the poor old woman on the repytation of her riches, and how the people cried shame on the match, when he might have been her son a'most twice over, and how they said he was right sarved, when it was found out she hadn't a penny to bless herself with."

"And you may tell Mr. Jesse Jopling, from me, Noggles," interrupted Penelope, with inflamed visage, "that he's a meddling fool, and that if I was the doctor, I'd horsewhip him, for telling such fool's tales;-and what more, pray, did he say, simpleton ?" she added carelessly, although in reality her naturally cunning disposition prompted her to hear everything she could, both for and against Yellowchops; "you can tell me everything, Noggles, for, of course, I don't care a pin for Doctor Yellowchops."

"La, miss! what should they say?" blurted out Kitty, with admirable simplicity, "the doctor is such a nice man, I'd wager my life, there's people mean enough to say everything injurious to his krakter;-I did certainly hear, but you know miss, how vile and low some people will stoop."

"Hum! and so they villified the doctor, down stairs, Noggles ?"

said Penelope, surveying herself leisurely in her glass; "Dear! dear! what sad creatures men are, to be sure!"

"Oh, for sartin sure, miss, they villified him, out and out," continued Kitty, screwing up her grotesque features into an impenetrable mysteriousness. "Jesse whispered me, when we wuz standing up in a corner together, that Mr. Walter Mordaunt and the doctor, but, miss, I'd rayther not tell what Jesse said, for it'll get him into trouble, and then he'd blame me for it ;" and Kitty began to whimper quite hysterically.

"Well then, Noggles, you must keep it to yourself," rejoined her mistress, as she proceeded to invest herself in an elaborately frilled night-cap, through the lace-border of which, her sharp, hatchet-faced visage, peered out in tenfold ugliness: "you are such a strange girl, that if it wasn't for wiling away the time, whilst you were dressing my hair, I certainly would not allow you to detail such stories to me,-and so Jesse told you that the doctor, and,-now, Noggles, you are a good girl, and so you must tell me what Jesse said about the doctor, and,-and-you know who I mean."

"And Mr. Walter Mordaunt, mem?" added Kitty, setting down her candle again on the dressing table, as her mistress threw herself into an easy chair. "Jesse said,-but-you are sartin sure, miss, that you'll never let on to your papa, nor Mr. Hutton."

"Now! now! Noggles, what a fool you are," cried Penelope, indignantly, as her white face flushed a bright scarlet, "I insist upon hearing, what the creature said of Doctor Yellowchops."

"Well then, miss,--he did say that there was some difference between Mr. Walter and Doctor Pangreedy, and Mr. Walter horse-whipped the doctor, and made him go down on his knees and beg his pardin, and ever since then they've been most bitter foes, for Pangreedy's a mortal proud man, and grizzled finely at the disgrace, which everybody was sure to know about, for one or two of the blows happened to come over his face, and there was a couple of deep welts, for weeks after; and they say, if the doctor could pay Master Walter off, for it all, he'd a'most go crazed, for joy."

"And Jesse told you that?" inquired her auditor, whose face had changed from red to white, whilst her lips quivered, and her eyes sparkled in spite of herself, during Miss Noggles' elaborate narrative.

"I'd take my bible hoath, miss!" said Noggles, stoutly.

"You're a good girl, Noggles,-and I won't forget you," said Penelope, very graciously, as she started up; "you did quite right in telling me of this,-quite right, for, good heavens, if the doctor ever was to meet with the poor deluded young man, he might murder him in his wrath."

"Murder the doctor, mem?" inquired Kitty with an incredulous smile; "lor' a mussey, mem, don't you know it wuz him that thrashed Pangreedy out and out; and the twos been living in the same village, a year and more, since,-no, no, he'd never do that, mem!"

"Nonsense, Noggles !" retorted her mistress peevishly; "an idiot like you cannot see, that the doctor has only refrained from having his revenge upon, upon,- you know who I mean, Noggles."

Noggles, shook her head, for five minutes incessantly, apparently to try whether any part of the machinery had got loose, or not; and then listened with gloomy incredulity to her mis

tress.

"Any one, but you, Noggles," continued Penelope, contemptuously, "would be clever enough to divine, that the doctor didn't get his revenge earlier out of regard to our dear Mr. Hutton, but now that,―that, you know who, Noggles."

Noggles rattled her head again apparently for the same purpose, and ejaculated "Mem, certinny."

"But now that the latter."

"Mordaunt," ejaculated Noggles, somnambulically.

"Yes ;-has quarrelled with Mr. Hutton, of course Dr. Yellowchops will not be restrained by any such compunction, and therefore, of course, the doctor will horsewhip,-you know who, Noggles."

Noggles swallowed an imaginary Mordaunt, and ejaculated, "Oh my!"

"And, of course, Noggles, such a step will be very soothing to our dear Mr. Hutton, and will certainly be the means of ingratiating the doctor in his good opinion, which will be quite invaluable to him, and, as by all accounts,-you know who, richly deserves it,-it will only be a proper rebuff for all his ingratitude, and heartlessness, and all that;—and so Noggles, I would recommend you to be very circumspect in all that you hear and see,-and be quite sure you be cautious in what you say,-for its very dangerous speaking your own mind too freely; and if you do hear anything more about the doctor, or anybody else, why of course, Noggles, you can tell what you hear to me, and then we can know what to believe, and what to laugh at,-and so now good night !"

Noggles uttered an asphyxiatised "Lor' a mussey!" and with a vehement shake of the head, which made her look ten times more ridiculous than ever, took up her candle, and vanished.