keeping house, afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murder, I warrant now. Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put up your na He lives upon mouldy stewed prunes, and dried cakes. A captain! these villains will make the word captain as odious as the word occupy; which was an excellent good word before it was ill-sorted:ked weapons. [Exeunt Pistol and Bardolph. therefore, captains had need look to it. Bard. Pray thee, go down, good ancient. Pist. Not I tell thee what, corporal Bar- I could tear her :-I'll be revenged on her. Pist. I'll see her damned first;-to Pluto's damn Doll. I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal is Fal. Have you turned him out of doors? Fal. A rascal! to brave me! ed lake, to the infernal deep, with Erebus and tor-hurt him, sir, in the shoulder. Host. Good captain Peesel, be quiet; it is very late, i'faith: I beseek you now, aggravate your choler. Doll. Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape, how thou sweat'st! Come, let me wipe thy face-come on, you whoreson chops :-Ah, rogue! i'faith, I love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than the nine worthies. Ah, villain! Fal. A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket. Doll. Do, if thou darest for thy heart: if thou dost, I'll canvass thee between a pair of sheets. Enter music. Page. The music is come, sir. Fal. Let them play;-Play, sirs.-Sit on my knee, Doll. A rascal bragging slave! the rogue fled from me like quicksilver. Doll P'faith, and thou followedst him like a church. Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou leave fighting o'days, and foining o'nights, and begin to patch up thine old body for heaven? Enter behind, Prince Henry and Poins, disguised like drawers. Fal. Peace, good Doll! Do not speak like a death's head: do not bid me remember mine end. Doll. Sirrah, what humour is the prince of? Fal. A good shallow young fellow he would have made a good pantler, he would have chipped [Laying down his sword.bread well. Come we to full points here; and are et ceteras nothing? Fal. Pistol, I would be quiet. Pist. Sweet knight, I kiss thy neif:5 What! we have seen the seven stars. Doll. Thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure such a fustian rascal. Pist. Thrust him down stairs! know we not Galloway nags ?6 Fal. Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shovegroat shilling: nay, if he do nothing but speak nothing, he shall be nothing here. Bard. Come, get you down stairs. Why then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds Fal. Give me my rapier, boy. Doll. They say, Poins has a good wit. Fal. He a good wit? hang him, baboon! his wit is as thick as Tewksbury mustard: there is no more conceit in him, than is in a mallet. Doll. Why does the prince love him so then? Fal. Because their legs are both of a bigness: and he plays at quoits well; and eats conger and fennel; and drinks off candles' ends for flap-dragons; and rides the wild mare with the boys; and jumps upon joint-stools; and swears with a good grace; and wears his boot very smooth, like unto the sign of the leg; and breeds no bate with telling of discreet stories, and such other gambol faculties he hath, that show a weak mind and an able body, for the which the prince admits him for the prince himself is such another; the weight of a hair will turn the scales between their avoirdupois. P. Hen. Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off? Poins. Let's beat him before his whore. Doll. I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw.his poll clawed like a parrot. [Drawing, and driving Pistol out. Host. Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear Poins. Is it not strange, that desire should so many years outlive performance? Fal. Kiss me, Doll. P. Hen. Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! what says the almanac to that? Poins. And, look, whether the fiery Trigon, his man, be not lisping to his master's old tables; his note-book, his counsel-keeper. Fal. Thou dost give me flattering busses. Doll. Nay, truly; I kiss thee with a most constant heart. Fal. I am old, I am old. Doll. I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young boy of them all. where he doth nothing but roast malt-worms. For the boy,-there is a good angel about him, but the devil outbids him too. P. Hen. For the women, Fal. For one of them, she is in hell already, and burns, poor soul! For the other,-I owe her money; and whether she be damned for that, I know not. Host. No, I warrant you. Fal. What stuff wilt have a kirtle2 of? I shall Fal. No, I think thou art not; I think, thou art receive money on Thursday: thou shalt have a cap quit for that: Marry, there is another indictment to-morrow. A merry song, come it grows late, upon thee, for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy we'll to bed. Thou'lt forget me, when I am gone.house, contrary to the law; for the which, I think, Doll. By my troth thou'lt set me a weeping, an thou sayest so: prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return.- -Well, hearken the end. Fal. Some sack, Francis. P. Hen. Poins. Anon, anon, sir. [Advancing Fal. Ha a bastard son of the king's-And art not thou Poins his brother? P. Hen. Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost thou lead? Fal. A better than thou; I am a gentleman, thou art a drawer. P. Hen. Very true, sir; and I come to draw you out by the ears. Host. O, the Lord preserve thy good grace! by my troth, welcome to London.-Now the Lord bless that sweet face of thine! O Jesu, are you come from Wales? Fal. Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood, thou art welcome. [Leaning his hand upon Doll. Doll. How! you fat fool, I scorn you. Poins. My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge, and turn all to a merriment, if you take not the heat. thou wilt howl. Host. All victuallers do so: What's a joint of Fal. His grace says that which his flesh rebels against. Host. Who knocks so loud at door? look to the door there, Francis. P. Hen. By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to So idly to profane the precious time; night. P. Hen. You whoreson candle-mine, you; how Give me my sword, and cloak:-Falstaff, good vilely did you speak of me even now, before this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman? Host. 'Blessing o'your good heart! and so she is, by my troth. Fal. Didst thou hear me? P. Hen. Yes; and you knew me, as you did when you ran away by Gads-hill: you knew, was at your back; and spoke it on purpose to try my patience. Fal. No, no, no; not so; I did not think thou wast within hearing. [Exe. P. Henry, Poins, Peto, and Bardolph. Fal. Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night, and we must hence, and leave it unpicked. [Knocking heard.] More knocking at the door? Re-enter Bardolph. How now? what's the matter? Bard. You must away to court, sir, presently; A dozen captains stay at door for you. Fal. Pay the musicians, sirrah. [To the Page.]Farewell, hostess :-Farewell, Doll.-You see, my P. Hen. I shall drive you then to confess the good wenches, how men of merit are sought after : wilful abuse; and then I know how to handle you. the undeserver may sleep, when the man of action Fal. No abuse, Hal, on mine honour; no abuse. is called on. Farewell, good wenches: If I be not P. Hen. Not! to dispraise me; and call me-sent away post, I will see you again ere I go. pantler, and bread-chipper, and I know not what? Fal. No abuse, Hal. Poins. No abuse ! Fal. No abuse, Ned, in the world; honest Ned, none. I dispraised him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall in love with him:-in which doing, I have done the part of a careful friend, and a true subject, and thy father is to give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal;-none, Ned, none;-no, boys, none. Doll. I cannot speak ;--If my heart be not ready to burst:-Well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself. Fal. Farewell, farewell. [Exe. Fal, and Bard. Host. Well, fare thee well: I have known thee these twenty-nine years, come peascod-time; but an honester, and truer-hearted man,--Well, fare thee well. P. Hen. See, now, whether pure fear, and en-to tire cowardice, doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us? Is she of the wicked? Is thine hostess here of the wicked? Or is the boy of the wicked? Or honest Bardolph,| whose zeal burns in his nose, of the wicked? Poins. Answer, thou dead elm, answer. Fal. The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable: and his face is Lucifer's privy kitchen, (1) An astronomical term. (2) A short cloak. Bard. [Within.] Mistress Tear-sheet,— Bard. [Within.] Bid mistress Tear-sheet come Host. O run, Doll, run; run, good Doll. [Exe. ACT III. SCENE 1-A room in the palace. Enter King But, ere they come, bid them o'er-read these letters, How many thousands of my poorest subjects And hush'd with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber; And lull'd with sounds of sweetest melody? Enter Warwick and Surrey. War. Many good morrows to your majesty ! K. Hen. Why then, good morrow to you all, my Have you read o'er the letters that I sent you? K. Hen Then you perceive, the body of our How foul it is; what rank diseases grow, War. It is but as a body, yet, distemper'd; K. Hen. O heaven! that one might read the book And see the revolution of the times Make mountains level, and the continent (Weary of solid firmness) melt itself Into the sea! and, other times, to see The beachy girdle of the ocean Too wide for Neptune's hips; how chances mock, Since Richard, and Northumberland, great friends, (1) Noise. [To Warwick. (2) Those in lowly situations. When Richard,-with his eye brimfull of tears, That I and greatness were compell'd to kiss :- War. There is a history in all men's lives, K. Hen. Are these things then necessities? : War. K. Hen. Shal. Come on, come on, come on; give me your hand, sir, give me your hand, sir: an early stirrer, by the rood. And how doth my good cousin, Silence? Sil. Good morrow, good cousin Shallow. Shal. And how doth my cousin, your bed-fellow? and your fairest daughter, and mine, my goddaughter Ellen? Sil. Alas, a black ouzel, cousin Shallow. Shal. By yea and nay, sir, I dare say, my cousin William is become a good scholar: He is at Oxford, still, is he not? Sil. Indeed, sir; to my cost. Shal. He must then to the inns of courts shortly: I was once of Clement's-Inn; where, I think, they will talk of mad Shallow yet. Sil. You were called-lusty Shallow, then, SECOND PART OF KING HENRY IV. Act II. and Will Squele, a Cotswold man,-you had not || sir John.-Give me your good hand, give me your Sil This sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about soldiers? Shal. The same sir John, the very same. I saw him break Skogan's head at the court-gate, when he was a crack, not thus high: and the very same day did I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray's-Inn. O, the mad days that I have spent! and to see how many of mine old acquaintance are dead! Sil. We shall all follow, cousin. Robert Shallow-Master Sure-card, as I think. should be of the peace. have you provided me here half a dozen sufficient Shal. Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit? Shal. Certain, 'tis certain; very sure, very sure: Sil. Truly, cousin, I was not there. Shal. Death is certain.-Is old Double of town living yet? Sil. Dead, sir. your Shal. Dead!-See, see!-he drew a good bow;And dead!--he shot a fine shoot:-John of Gaunt loved him well, and betted much money on his head. Dead! he would have clapped i'the clout at twelve score ;4 and carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen and a half, that it would have done a man's heart good to see.-How a score of ewes now? Sil. Thereafter as they be: a score of good ewes may be worth ten pounds. Shal. And is old Double dead? Enter Bardolph, and one with him. Sil. Here come two of sir John Falstaff's men, as I think. Bard. Good morrow, honest gentlemen: I beseech you, which is justice Shallow? Shal. I am Robert Shallow, sir; a poor esquire of this county, and one of the king's justices of the peace: What is your good pleasure with me? Bard. My captain, sir, commends him to you: my captain, sir John Falstaff: a talls gentleman, by heaven, and a most gallant leader. Shal. He greets me well, sir; I knew him a good backsword man: How doth the good knight? may I ask, how my lady his wife doth? Bard. Sir, pardon; a soldier is better accommodated, than with a wife. Shal. It is well said, in faith, sir; and it is well said, indeed, too. Better accommodated!-it is good; ; yea, indeed, it is: good phrases are surely, and ever were, very commendable. Accommodated!-it comes from accommodo: very good; a good phrase. Bard. Pardon me, sir; I have heard the word. Phrase, call you it? By this good day, I know not the phrase: but I will maintain the word with my sword, to be a soldier-like word, and a word of exceeding good command. Accommodated: that is, when a man is, as they say, accommodated: or, when a man is,-being,-whereby,-he may be thought to be accommodated; which is an excellent thing. Enter Falstaff. Shal. It is very just :-Look, here comes good (1) Rakes, or rioters. (3) Boy. Moul. Here, an't please you. Shal. What think you, sir John? a good-limbed Moul. Yea, an't please you. Fal. 'Tis the more time thou wert used. done now, for one to do her husbandry, and her Fal. Go to; peace, Mouldy, you shall go. Moul- Moul. Spent! you where you are?-For the other, sir John:-let he's like to be a cold soldier. Fal. Ay marry, let me have him to sit under: Shal. Where's Shadow? Fal. Shadow, whose son art thou? father's shadow: so the son of the female is the for we have a number of shadows to fill up the Shal. Do you like him, sir John? Shal. Thomas Wart! Wart. Here, sir. Fal. Is thy name Wart? Fal Thou art a very ragged wart. upon his back, and the whole frame stands upon Shal. Shall I prick him, sir John? Shal. Ha, ha, ha!-you can do it, sir; you can Fal. What trade art thou, Feeble? (4) Hit the white mark at twelve-score yards. Shal. Shall I prick him, sir? Fal. You may but if he had been a man's tailor, he would have pricked you.-Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy's battle, as thou hast done in a woman's petticoat? Fee. I will do my good will, sir; you can have no more. Fal. Well said, good woman's tailor! well said, courageous Feeble! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove, or most magnanimous mouse.—| Prick the woman's tailor well, master Shallow; deep, master Shallow. Fee. I would, Wart might have gone, sir. Fal. I would, thou wert a man's tailor; that thou might'st mend him, and make him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private soldier, that is the leader of so many thousands: Let that suffice, most forcible Feeble. Fee. It shall suffice, sir. Fal. I am bound to thee, reverend Shal. Peter Bull-calf of the green! Bull. Good master corporate Bardolph, stand my friend; and here is four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you. In very truth, sir, I had as lief be hanged, sir, as go and yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not care; but, rather, because I am unwilling, and, for mine own part, have a desire to stay with my friends; else, sir, I did not care, for mine own part, so much. Bard. Go to; stand aside. Moul And good master corporal captain, for my old dame's sake, stand my friend: she has nobody to do any thing about her, when I am gone: and she is old, and cannot help herself: you shall have forty, sir. Bard Go to; stand aside. Fee. By my troth I care not;-a man can die but once-we owe God a death;-I'll ne'er bear a base mind:-an't be my destiny, so;-an't be not, so: No man's too good to serve his prince; Feeble.-and, let it go which way it will, he that dies this year, is quit for the next. Fal. 'Fore God, a likely fellow !-Come, prick me Bull-calf, till he roar again. Bull O lord! good my lord captain.— Fal What, dost thou roar before thou art pricked? Bull. A whoreson cold, sir; a cough, sir; which I caught with ringing in the king's affairs, upon his coronation day, sir. Fal. Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown; we will have away thy cold; and I will take such order, that thy friends shall ring for thee.-Is here all? Shall. Here is two more called than your num-I ber; you must have but four here, sir;-and so, I pray you, go in with me to dinner. Fal. Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, in good troth, master Shallow. Shal. O, sir John, do you remember since we lay all night in the windmill in St. George's-fields? Fal. No more of that, good master Shallow, no more of that. Shal. Ha, it was a merry night. And is Jane Fal. She lives, master Shallow. Shal. By the mass, I could anger her to the heart. She was then a bona-roba. Doth she hold her own well? Fal. Old, old, master Shallow. Shal. Nay, she must be old; she cannot choose but be old; certain, she's old; and had Robin Night-work by old Night-work, before I came to Clement's-Inn. Sil That's fifty-five year ago. Shal. Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that this knight and I have seen!-Ha, sir John, said I well? Fal We have heard the chimes at midnight, master Shallow. Bard. Well said; thou'rt a good fellow. Re-enter Falstaff, and Justices. Fal. Come, sir, which men shall I have? Shal. Come, sir John, which four will you have? Shal. Marry then,-Mouldy, Bull-calf, Feeble, and Shadow. Fal. Mouldy, and Bull-calf:-For you, Mouldy, stay at home still; you are past service: and, for your part, Bull-calf,-grow till you come unto it; will none of you. Shal, Sir John, sir John, do not yourself wrong: they are your likeliest men, and I would have you' served with the best. Fal. Will you tell me, master Shallow, how to choose a man? Care I for the limb, the thewes, the stature, bulk, and big assemblance of a man! Give me the spirit, master Shallow.-Here's Wart;you see what a ragged appearance it is: he shall charge you, and discharge you, with the motion of a pewterer's hammer; come off, and on, swifter than he that gibbets-on the brewer's bucket. And this same half-fac'd fellow, Shadow,-give me this man: he presents no mark to the enemy: the foeman may with as great aim level at the edge of a pen-knife: And, for a retreat,-how swiftly will this Feeble, the woman's tailor, run off! O, give me the spare men, and spare me the great ones.Put me a caliver2 into Wart's hand, Bardolph. Bard. Hold, Wart, traverse; thus, thus, thus. Fal. Come, manage me your caliver. So:-very well ::-go to:-very good-exceeding good --O, give me always a little, lean, old, chapped, bald shot-Well said, i'faith, Wart; thou art a good scab: hold, there's a tester for thee. Shal. He is not his craft's-master, he doth not do it right. I remember at Mile-end green (when I lay at Clement's-Inn.-I was then sir Dagonet, in Arthur's show,5) there was a little quiver fellow, and 'a would manage you his piece thus: and 'a Shal. That we have, that we have, that we have;would about, and about, and come you in, and in faith, sir John, we have; our watch-word was, come you in: rah, tah, tah, would 'a say; bounce, Hem, boys!--Come, let's to dinner; come, let's would 'a say; and away again would a go, and to dinner :-0, the days that we have seen!-again would 'a come:-I shall never see such a Come, come. [Exe. Falstaff, Shallow, and Silence.||fellow. (1) Enemy. (2) Gun. (3) March. (4) Shooter. (5) An exhibition of archery. |