Foole's o' the North, the La-Foole's o' the Weft, the La-Foole's o' the Eaft and South. We are as ancient a family as any is in Europe. But I myself am defcended lineally of the French La-Foole's. And, we do bear our coat yellow; Or, checker'd Azure, and Gules, and fome three or four colours more, which is a very noted coat, and has, fometimes, been folemnly worn by divers nobility of our houfe-but let that go, antiquity is not respected now. I had a brace of fat does fent me, gentlemen, and half a dozen of pheasants, a dozen or two of godwits, and fome other fowl, which I would with eaten, while they are good, and in good company. There will be a great lady or two, my lady Haughty, my lady Centaure, Mistress Dol Mavis. And they come o' purpofe, to fee the Silent Gentlewoman, Miftrefs Epicone, that honeft Sir John Daw has promised to bring thither, And then, Mistress Trufty, my lady's woman, will be there too, and this honourable knight, Sir Dauphine, with yourself Mafter Clerimont. And we'll be very merry, and have fidlers and dance. I have been a mad wag in my time, and have fpent fome crowns fince I was a page in court, to my lord Lofty, and after, my lady's gentlemanufher, who got me knighted in Ireland, fince it

pleafed

pleafed my elder brother to die. I had as fair a gold jerkin on that day, as any was worn in the Island Voyage, or at Cadiz, none disprais'd, and I came over in it hither, fhew'd myfelf to my friends in court, and after went down to my tenants in the country, and furvey'd my lands, let new leases, took their money, spent it in the eye o' the land here, upon ladies. And now I can take up

at my pleasure.

Dau. Can you take up ladies, Sir?

Cler. Oh, let him breathe; he has not recover'd. Dau. Would I were your half, in that commodity.

La-F. No, Sir, excufe me: I meant money, which can take up any thing. I have another gueft, or two, to invite, and say as much to, gentlemen. I'll take my leave abruptly, in hope you will not fail-your fervant.

Dau. We will not fail you, Sir precious La-Foole; [Exit La-Foole.] but the fhall, that your ladies come to fee; if I have credit afore Sir Daw.

Cler. Did you ever hear fuch a bellows-blower as this?

Dau. Or fuch a rook as the other! that will betray his miftrefs to be feen. Come, 'tis time we prevented it.

Cler. Go. Poor Sir Amorous! [Exeunt laughing.

C

ACT II.

An apartment in the house of Morofe.

Morofe, Mute.

Morofe.

AN not I yet find out a more compendious method, to fave my fervants the labour of fpeech, and mine ears the difcord of founds? Let me fee: All discourses but my own afflict me; they feem harsh, impertinent, and tiresome. Is it not poffible, that thou fhouldst answer me by figns, and I apprehend thee, fellow? speak not, though I question you. [At the breaches fill the fellow makes legs or figns.] You have taken the ring off from the street-door, as I bad you? anfwer me not by speech, but by filence, unless it be otherwife (-) very good. And, you have faftened on a thick quilt, or flock-bed, on the outfide of the door; that if they knock with their daggers, or with brickbats, they can make no noise? but with your leg, your answer, unless it be otherwife (-) very good. This is not only

-)

fit modefty in a fervant, but good state and difcretion in a master. And you have been with Cutberd the barber, to have him come to me? (-) good. And he will come presently? answer me not but with your leg, unless it be otherwise: If it be otherwise, shake your head, or shrug. (So. Your Italian, and Spaniard, are wise in these ! and it is a frugal and comely gravity. How long will it be ere Cutberd come? ftay! if an hour, hold up your whole hand; if half an hour, two fingers; if a quarter, one; (-) a curled finger! half a quarter. 'Tis well. And have you given him a key, to come in without knocking ? (———} good. And is the lock oiled, and the hinges, to-day? () good. And the quilting of the stairs no where worn out and bare? (-) very good. I fee, by much doctrine, it may be effected; ftand by. The Turk, in his divine difcipline, is admirable, exceeding all the potentates of the earth; ftill waited on by mutes; and all his commands fo executed; yea, even in the war (as I have heard) and in his marches, moft of his charges and directions given by figns, and with filence: an exquifite art! and I am heartily afhamed, and angry oftentimes, that the princes of Christendom, should fuffer a Barbarian to tranfcend 'em in fo high a point

(

of

of felicity. I will practise it hereafter. [Horn without.] How now? oh! oh! what villain, what prodigy of mankind is that? look. [Exit Mute.] Oh! cut his throat, cut his throat! What murderer, hell-hound, devil, can this be? [One winds a horn without again.

Re-enter Mute.

Mute. A poft from the court

Mor. Out, rogue, and must thou blow thy horn, too?

Mute. Alas, it is a poft from the court, Sir, that fays, he muft speak with you on pain of deathMor. Pain of thy life, be filent? [Horn again,

Is

Then enter Truewit.

Tru. By your leave, Sir! I am a stranger here: your name master Morofe? Is your name master Morofe? Fishes? Pythagoreans all? This is ftrange. What fay you, Sir? nothing? Has Harpocrates been here with his club, among you? Well, Sir, I will believe you to be the man at this time: I will venture upon you, Sir. Your friends at court commend 'em to you, Sir

Mor. O men! O manners! Was there ever fuch an impudence?

Tru.