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Mor. Oh, a plot, a plot, a plot, a plot, upon me! This day I shall be their anvil to work on, they will grate me afunder. 'Tis worse than the noise of a saw.
Cler. No, they are hair, rosin, and cat-guts. I can give you the receipt.
Iru. Peace, boys.
Enter La-Foole, Mrs. Otter, and servants, with
dishes. Look you here, Sir, what honour is done you unexpected, by your nephew; a wedding-dinner come, and-a knight-sewer before it, for the more reputation : and fine Mrs. Otter, your neighbour, in the tail of it!
Mor. Is that Gorgon, that Medusa come? Hide me, hide me. · Tru. I warrant you, Sir, she will not transform you. Look upon her with a good courage. Pray VOL. III. .
you entertain her, and conduct your guests in. No? Madam Haughty, will you entreat in the ladies ? The bridegroom is so shame.fac'd here.
Hau. Will it please your ladyship, madam ?
Otter. I have brought my bull, bear, and horse, in private, and yonder are the trumpeters without, and the drum, gentlemen.
[The drum and trumpets found. Mor. Oh, oh, oh!
Otter. And we will have a rouse in each of them anon, for bold Britons i'faith,
Mor. Oh, oh, oh!
Manent Morose and Epicæne. Mor. Oh, torment and misery! my house is the tower of Babel ! But I will take courage, put on a martyr's resolution, and mock down all their attemptings with patience. 'Tis but a day, and I will suffer heroically. Shall an ass exceed me in
fortitude ? no. Nor will I betray my infirmities with hanging dull ears, and make them insult; but bear up bravely and constantly. 'Tis but a day; and the remnant of my life shall be quiet and easy. I have wedded a lamb; no tempests shall henceforth disturb us, no sound annoy us, louder than thy still, small voice, my love, soft as the whispering of summer breezes, or fweet murmur of turtles. Wives are wild cats; but thou shalt be a tame domestick animal, with velvet feet entering my chamber, and with the soft purring of delight and affection, inviting the hand of thy husband to stroke thee. Come, lady. [Exeunt fondling:
AS there ever poor bridegroom fo tor
mented ? or man indeed ? Cler. I have not read of the like in the chronicles of the land.
Tru. The laughter, dancing, noise of the musick, and of the whole family, almost distracts him.
Cler. And how soberly Dauphine labours to satisfy him, that it was none of his plot!
Tru. And has almost brought him to the faith, i'the article. Here he comes.
Enter Dauphine. Where is he now? What's become of him, Dauphine ?
Dau. Oh, hold me up a little ; I shall go away i’the jeft elle. He has got on his whole nest of night-caps, and lock'd himself up at the top o'the house, as high as ever he can climb from the noise. I peep'd in at a cranny, and saw him sitting over a cross beam o'the roof; like St. George o' horseback, at the door of an ale-house; and he will fleep there,
Cler. But where are your collegiates ?
Tru. Oh, they are instructing her in the college gramniar.
Daa. Methinks the lady Haughty looks well today.
Tru. I begin to suspect you, Dauphine. Speak, art thou in love in earneft?
Dau. Yes, by my troth am I, with all the collegiates.
Cler. Out on thee. With all of them ?
Tru. No; I like him well. Men should love wisely, and all the women. Thou wouldst think it strange, if I should make 'em all in love with thee afore night!
Dau. I would say, thou hadft the best Philtre 1- the world, and couldst do more than madam Medea.
Tru. If I do not, let me play the mountebank, while I live, for my
maintenance. Dau. So be it, I say.
Enter Otter, Daw, and La-Foole.
Cler. Why, captain, what fervice? what service?
Otter. To see me bring up my bull, bear, and horse to fight,
Daw. Yes, faith, the captain says we shall be his dogs to bait 'em.
Dau. A good employment.