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that they have frightened me home with more violence than I went ! Such speaking and counterspeaking, with their several voices of citations, appellations, allegations, certificates, attachments, interrogatories, references, convictions, and afflictions indeed, among the doctors and proctors, that the noise here is filence to't! a kind of calm midnight!
Tru. Why, Sir, if you would be resolv'd indeed, I can bring you hither a very sufficient lawyer, and a learned divine, that shall enquire into every least scruple for you.
Mor. Can you, master Truewit ?
Tru. Yes, and are very sober grave persons, that will dispatch in a chamber with a whisper or two.
Mor. Good Sir, shall I hope this benefit from you, and trust myself into your hands?
Tru. Alas, Sir! your nephew and I have been alham'd, and oft-times mad, fince you went, to think how you are abus'd. Go in, good Sir, and lock yourself up till we call you ; we'll tell you more anon, Sir.
Mor. Do your pleasure with me, gentlemen ; do but divorce me from my wife, and I am bound
[Exit, Dau. What wilt thou do now, Wit?
Tru. Recover me hither Otter and the barber, if you can, by any means, presently,
Dau. Why? to what purpose?
Tru. Oh, I'll make the deepest divine and gravest lawyer out o'them two for him.
Dau. Thou canst not, man; these are waking dreams.
Tru. Do not fear me. Clap but a civil gown with the welt o'the one, and a canonical cloak with sleeves o'the other, and give 'em a few terms in their mouths, if there come not forth as able a doctor, and complete a parson, for this turn as may be wish'd, trust not my election: The barber smatters Latin, I remember.
Dau. Yes, and Otter too.
Tru. Well then, if I make 'em not wrangle out this case, to his no-comfort, let me be thought a Jack Daw, or La-Foole, or any thing worse. Go you to your ladies, but first send for them.
Dau. I will; and you shall have Otter in a trice, and the barber in the snapping of his fingers.
[Exeunt severally. Another apartment. Tables, chairs, &c.
La-Foole, Clerimont, Daw. La-F. Where had you our swords, master Clerimont?
Cler. Why, Dauphine took 'em from the mad
La-F. And he took 'em from our boys, I wara
Cler. Very like, Sir.
La-F. Thank you, good master Clerimont. Sir John Daw and I are both beholden to you.
Cler. Would I knew how to make you so, gentlemen!
Daw. Sir Amorous and I are your servants, Sir,
Cler. Faith, now we are in private, let's wanton it a little, and talk waggishly. Sir John, I am telling Sir Amorous here that you two govern the ladies where'er
you come. Daw. Not I: Sir Amorous does. La-F. I protest, Sir John does.
Cler. Well, agree on't together, knights; for between you, you divide the ladies' affections: I see it. You could tell strange stories, my masters, if you would, I know.
Daw. Faith, we have seen somewhat, Sir.
La-F. That we have Velvet petticoats, and clock'd stockings, or so.
Daw. Ay, and
Daw. Why, we have been
La-F. In the great bed at Ware together in our time. On, Sir John.
Cler. Do you hear, Sir John ? You shall tell me but one thing truly, as you love me.
Daw. If I can, I will, Sir.
Cler. You lodged in the same house with the bride here?
Daw. Yes, and convers'd with her hourly, Sir.
Cler. And what humour is she of? Is she coming and open, free?
Daw. Oh, exceeding open, Sir. I was her servant, and Sir Amorous was to be.
Cler. Come, you both have had favours from her: I know, and have heard so much.
Daw. Oh, no, Sir.
La-F. You shall excuse us, Sir; we must not wound reputation.
Cler. Tut, she is married now; and therefore speak plainly: Which of you led first? ha?
La-F. Sir John, indeed.
Daw. Oh, it pleafes him to say so, Sir; but Sir Amorous knows as well.
Cler. Doft thou, i'faith, Amorous ?
Cler. Why, I commend you, lads. Little knows don Bridegroom of this; nor shall he, for me.
Daw. Hang him, mad ox.
the ladies from you, Sirs, if you look not to him in time.
La-F. Why, if he do, we'll fetch 'em home again, I warrant you. [Exeunt Daw and La-Foole.
Enter Dauphine. Cler. Where's Truewit, Dauphine? We want him much. His knights are wound up as high and insolent as ever they were.
Dau. You jet.
Cler. No drunkards, either with wine or vanity, ever confefs'd fuch stories of themselves. I would not give a fly's leg in balance against all the womens' reputations here, if they could be but thought to speak truth : And, for the bride, they have made their affidavit against her directly.
Dau. Indeed !
Cler. Yes, faith; they would have fet it down under their hands.
Dau. Why, they will be our sport, I fee, still, whether we will or no. Enter Truewit, with Otter and Cutberd disguised. Tru. Oh, are you here? Come, Dauphine ; go