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Enter Epicæne, Haughty, Centaure, Mavis, Mrs.
Otter, Daw, La-Foole. Epi. I will not endure it any longer. Ladies,': I beseech you help me.
This is such a wrong as never was offer'd to poor bride before : Upon her marriage-day, to have her husband conspire againft her, and a couple of mercenary companions to be brought in for form's sake, to persuade a separation! If you had blood or virtue in you, gentlemen, you would not suffer such earwigs about a husband, or scorpions to creep between man and wife.
Mor. Oh, the variety and the changes of my torment!
Hau. Let 'em be cudgell'd out of doors by aur grooms.
Cen. I'll lend you my footman. .
Mavis. We'll have our men blanket them i' the hall.
Daw. Content, i’faith.
Tru. Stay, ladies and gentlemen! you'll hear before you proceed?
Mavis. I'll have the bridegroom blanketed too.
Dau.. : Dau. Ladies, for my fake forbear. Hau. Yes, for Sir Dauphine's fake. Gen. He shall command us.
Dau. Come, I see now plain confederacy to abuse a gentleman. You study his affliction. Sir, will it please you hear me?
Mor. Oh, do not talk to me; take not from me the pleasure of dying in silence, nephew.
Dau. Sir, I must speak to you. If I free you of this unhappy match absolutely, and instantly, after all this trouble, and almost in your despair, now
Mor. (It cannot be.)
you be never troubled with a murmur of it more, shall I have your favour perfect to me, and love hereafter ?
Mor. That, and any thing beside. Make thine own conditions.
Epi. Will Sir Dauphine be mine enemy too ?
Dau. You know I have been long a suitor to you, uncle, that out of your estate, which is fifteen hundred a-year, you would allow me but five hundred during life, and assure the rest upon me after; to which I have often, by myself and my friends, tender'd you a writing to fign, which you would never consent or incline to. If you please but to effect it now VOL. III.
Mor. Thou shalt have it, nephew: I will do it, and more.
Dau. If I quit you not prefently, and for ever of this trouble, you fhall have power' inftantly, afore all these, to revoke your act, and I will be come whose slave you will give me to, for ever.
Mor. Where is the writing? I will feal to it, that, or to a blank, and write thine own conditions.
Epi. Oh, me! most unfortunate wretched gentlewoman!
Hau. Will Sir Dauphine do this?
Mor. Oh, my nephew knows you belike; away, crocodile !
Gen. He does it not sure without good ground, Dau. Here, Sir.
Mor. Come, nephew, give me the pen ; I will subscribe to any thing, and seal tơ what thou wilt for my
deliverance. Thou art my restorer. Here ; I deliver it thee as my deed. If there be a word in it lacking, or writ with false orthography, I protest before I will not take the advantage.
Dau. Then here is your release, Sir; [Epicæene throws of female apparel, and appearsin boy's cloaths.] you have married a boy.
Mor. A boy!
that I have brought up this half-year, at my great charges, and for this composition, which I have now, made with you. What fay you, master doctor? This is juftum impedimentum, I hope ; error perfone. Otter. Yes, Sir, in primo gradu. Cut. In primo gradu.
Dau. I thank you, good doctor Cutberd, and parfon Otter. [They throw off their disguises.] You are beholden to 'em, Sir, that have taken this pains for you ; and my friend, master Truewit, who enabled 'em for the business. Now you may reft, bę as private as you will, Sir. Cutberd, I'll make your loare good. Thank me not, but with your leg, Cutberd. And, Tom Otter, your princess fhal be reconciļd to you. How now, gentlemen! do you look at me?
Tru. Well, Dauphine, you have lurch'd your friends of the better half of the garland, by concealing this part of the plot : But much good do it thee! thou deserv'st it, lad: And, Clerimont, for thy unexpected bringing these two to confeffion, wear my part of it freely.
Epi. Now, Sir Daw, and Sir La-Foole, you sec the gentlewoman that has done you the favours ! Tru. We are all thankful to you, and so should
the woman-kind here; but that we have stuck it upon you to-day, in your own imagin’d persons, and fo lately, this Amazon, the champion of the fex, should beat you now thriftily, for the common flanders which ladies receive from such cuckows as you are. You are they, that when no merit or fortune can make you hope to possess their perfons, make their fame suffer. Away, you common moths of these, and all ladies' honours! Go, travel to make legs and faces, and come home with some new matter to be laugh'd at. Madams, you are mute, upon this new metamorphosis! But here stands fhe that has vindicated your fames. Take heed of such insects hereafter. And let it not trouble
if you have discover'd any mysteries to this young gentleman : We'll all undertake for his secrefy, that can speak so well of his silence.
Mor. Spectators, if you like this Comedy, rise chearfully, and clap your hands. Those sounds will please me; nay, cure me of my aversion to noise.
END of the THIRD VOLUME.