his hat on. The Dutchess of Gordon whispered to a lady near her, "We must forgive that man; he has been used to the luxury of a hat so short a time, that he does not know when to pull it off."

11. Lady Jersey, being at a masquerade, stept up to the Dutchess of Gordon, with the usual, "Do you know me?"-" Yes, ignorance and impudence are known every where,” was the reply.

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12. Her grace was one evening in company with a military gentleman, who, in the composition of his dispatches, had not attended so much as might have been wished to the good old rules of grammar— I congratulate you," said her grace, on your talent for writing English poetry."-" English poetry!" replied the astonished officer. "Yes," returned she, "for I am sure what you write is not English prose."

13. When Mr. Penn, a young gentleman well known by his eccentricities, walked from Hyde Park Corner to Hammersmith, for a wager of one hundred guineas, with the Honourable Butler Danvers, several gentlemen who had witnessed the contest spoke of it to the Dutchess of Gordon, and added, "It is a pity that a man with so many good qualities as Penn has, should be incessantly playing these unaccountable pranks."-"It is so," said her grace, "but why don't advise him better? He seems to be a pen that every body cuts, and nobody mends."

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14. Sir William Pulteney, mentioning some ridiculous observations which he had made on a particular occasion, said, that it had made the whole company merry at his expense. "Then, Sir William,” said the same witty dutchess, "I verily believe it is the first company that ever was made merry at your expense."

THE LATE DUTCHESS OF DEVONSHIRE.

15. A Scotch nobleman, of no bright parts, chatting with the late Dutchess of Devonshire, she asked, how it happened that the Scots in general made a much better figure from home than in Scotland. "Oh," says he, "nothing is so easily accounted for. For the honour of the nation, persons are stationed at every egress, to see that none leave the country but men of abilities."-" Then," answered she, "I suspect your lordship was smuggled."

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16. As the Dutchess of Devonshire was rambling one day in the neighbourhood of Chiswick, she was overtaken by a shower, which obliged her to take shelter in a small hut, where she happened not to be known. Among other topics of conversation, which she introduced in her affable manner, she asked the good woman if she knew the Dutchess of Devonshire? "Know her," answered the woman, aye, God bless her, EVERY BODY has cause to know her here, there never was a better lady born."-" I am afraid you are mistaken," said her grace, "from what I can understand of her, she is no better than she should be." "I'see YOU are no better than you should be," returned the poor woman; it would be happy for you if you were as good; but you-you'll never be worthy to wipe her shoes."-"Then I must be beholden to you, for they are at present very dirty,” answered her grace. The honest cottager, perceiving her mistake, ran to perform the office with the greatest humility, for which she was generously rewarded by the dutchess.

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THE MARGRAVINE OF ANSPACH.

17. The Margravine of Anspach, when Lady Craven, was one day walking in St. James's Park, with a young lady, a novice in affairs of love: the young lady, on seeing Lord Craven coming up, dressed a la mode de Paris, and displaying a number

of fantastical airs, exclaimed, “ Lord! Lady Craven, what a charming angelic man!"-" Never," says the literary wit, never, my dear girl, judge of the piece by the drapery."

18. A young nobleman, not remarkable for punctuality in the payment of his bills, once called upon the Margravine of Anspach in an elegant new phaeton, and at parting begged she would come to the door just to look at it. ""Tis very pretty," said he, “ and I have it entirely on a new plan." "Before I set my eyes on it, my lord," said she, “ I am afraid you have it on the old plan-never to pay for it."

THE MARCHIONESS OF SALISBURY.

19. Dr. Parker, the late worthy rector of St. James's, preaching a very dull sermon on happiness, the Marchioness of Salisbury, who saw him next day, told him laughingly he had forgot one sort of happiness- -Happy are they who did not hear your sermon.

THE COUNTESS OF TYRCONNEL.

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20. The laurels which James II. won by sea he lost by land. Having been a spectator of the battle of the Boyne, on the 1st of July 1690, he thought it most prudent, while the fortune of the day was yet undecided, to seek his safety in flight. In a few hours he reached the castle of Dublin, where he was met by Lady Tyrconnel, a woman of great spirit. "Your countrymen, the Irish, madam," said James, as he was ascending the stairs, can run well.”. "Not quite so well as your majesty," retorted her fadyship," for I see you have won the race."

ALBINIA, THE LATE COUNTESS DOWAGER OF
BUCKINGHAMSHIRE..

21. Lord 0

saying that he made a point of never playing beyond the line of his own understanding, "Now my lord," said the Countess of Bucking

hamshire," I see the reason why you never play deep."

LADY MARY WORTLEY MONTAGUE.

22. As Lady Mary Wortley Montague was walking through the gardens at Stow with a party, she was much teased by an impertinent young coxcomb, who was continually making some foolish observations to her. On coming to one of the temples, over which there was an inscription, she took advantage of this opportunity to expose his ignorance and put him to silence."Pray, sir," said she, "be kind enough to explain that inscription to us."-" Madam," said the young gentleman, with an affected air, "I really do not know what it means, for I see it is dog Latin.”— How very extraordinary it is," said Lady Mary, "that puppies do not understand their own language!"

LADY WALLACE.

23. The celebrated Lady Wallace, when a very young girl, was romping with some other little misses near a mill-dam, and had often very incautiously approached the brink of the water, when Lady Maxwell, her mother, called to her-" For God's sake, girl, be more cautious, or you will most certainly tumble into the water and be drowned.'-" I'll be damm'a if I do, mamma," replied the young punster. "Oh! child," remarked her mother, that wit of your's will one day prove your ruin."-" l'in sure, then, it wont be mother-wit," retorted the minx.

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24. Lady Wallace was one day at an auction bidding away at a great rate, when her brother-inlaw, Mr. Fordyce, who had been a bankrupt, but had settled matters with his creditors in a very comfortable manner, said-" Lady Wallace, if you go on in this way you'll break.”- "No matter," said she, “Į

may then be able to follow the example of some of my friends, and live twice as well as ever."

25. The same lady, who was once celebrated in Scotland for wit and beauty, happening to be at an assembly in Edinburgh, a young gentleman, the son of his majesty's printer, who had the patent for publishing Bibles, made his appearance, dressed in green and gold. Being a new face, and extremely elegant, he attracted the attention of the whole company. A general murmur prevailed in the room, to know who he was: Lady Wallace instantly made answer, loud enough to be heard by the stranger-" Oh, don't you know him? It is young Bible, bound in calf, and gilt, but not lettered."

LADY WORSLEY.

26. When the election was to come on for Dumbartonshire, where Lord Frederick Campbell and Captain Elphinstone were candidates, Lady Worsley, famous both for her beauty and wit, sent a card to General S, who had a vote, and was against her friend, desiring to speak to him on particular business, before he set out for the election. The general was a man of too much gallantry to refuse the summons, even at the critical moment of setting out on a service where a single voice might be decisive. As soon as he was ushered into the room to her ladyship, she locked the door, and told him very peremptorily, that there he must remain until the election was over. General S flew to the windows, but care had been taken to secure them: he then attempted the door, but with like effect; at last he had recourse to crying out murder! and robbery! which soon brought together a great crowd; but Lady Worsley told them very coolly, that it was a friend of her's who was subject to drinking, and then so intoxicated, it would be dangerous to let him loose. At length the general was permitted to depart, but not until it was too late to give his vote.