Dro. S. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of father Time himself. Ant. S. Let's hear it. Dro. S. There's no time for a man to recover his hair that grows bald by nature. Ant. S. May he not do it by fine and recovery? Dro. S. Yes, to pay a fine for a peruke, and recover the lost hair of another man. Ant. S. Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement? Dro. S. Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts; and what he hath scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit. Ant. S. Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit. Dro. S. Not a man of those, but he hath the wit to lose his hair. Ant. S. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit. Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost: yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity. Ant. S. For what reason? Dro. S. For two; and sound ones too. Ant. S. Nay, not sound, I pray you. Dro. S. Sure ones then. Ant. S. Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing. Dro. S. Certain ones then. Ant. S. Name them. Dro. S. The one, to save the money that he spends in tiring;' the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge. Ant. S. You would all this time have proved there is no time for all things. Dro. S. Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time to recover hair lost by nature. Ant. S. But your reason was not substantial, why there is no time to recover. Dro. S. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and therefore, to the world's end, will have bald followers. Ant. S. I knew 'twould be a bald conclusion: But soft! who wafts us yonder? Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA. Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown: Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects; I am not Adriana, nor thy wife. The time was once, when thou unurg'd wouldst vow That, undividable, incorporate, Am better than thy dear self's better part. As take from me thyself, and not me too. Keep then fair league and truce with thy true 'wife;" I live unstain'd, thou undishonoured. Ant. S. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not: In Ephesus I am but two hours old, As strange unto your town as to your talk; Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd, Want wit in all one word to understand. Luc. Fie, brother! how the world is chang'd with you! When were you wont to use my sister thus ? She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner. Ant. S. By Dromio ? Dro. S. By me? Adr. By thee; and this thou didst return from him— That he did buffet thee, and in his blows Denied my house for his, me for his wife. Ant. S. Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman? Dro. S. I, sir? I never saw her till this time. Dro. S. I never spake with her in all my life. Ant. S. How can she thus then call us by our names, Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity, Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion Infect thy sap, and live on thy confusion. Ant. S. [Aside.] To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme: What, was I married to her in my dream? Until I know this sure uncertainty, I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy. Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner. They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue. Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answer'st not? Dro. S. I am transformed, master, am not I? Dro. S. No, I am an ape. 'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be, But I should know her as well as she knows me. Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool, To put the finger in the eye and weep, Whilst man and master laugh my woes to scorn.— Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in ‘air?' Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate. [Exeunt. SCENE I-Before the House of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR. Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse us all; My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours: Say that I linger'd with you at your shop, Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this? |