Bard. Sir John, there's one mafter 3 Brook below would fain fpeak with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath fent your worship a morning's draught of fack. Fal. Brook, is his name? Bard. Ay, Sir. Fal. Call him in; [Exit Bardolph.] fuch Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow with fuch liquor. Ah! ah! miftrefs Ford and miftrefs Page, have I encompass'd you? go to, via! Re-enter Bardolph, with Ford difguis'd. Ford. Blefs you, Sir. Fal. And you, Sir; would you fpeak with me? upon you. Fal. You're welcome; what's your will? give us leave, drawer. [Exit Bardolph. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much; my name is Brook. Fal. Good mafter Brook, I defire more acquaintance of you. Ford. Good Sir John, I fue for yours; not to charge you; for I must let you understand, I think myfelf in better plight for a lender than you are, the which hath fomething embolden'd me to this unfeafon'd intrusion; for they fay, if mony go before, all ways do lye open. Fal. Mony is a good foldier, Sir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of mony here trou 3 Edition of 1619, in all the fucceeding editions this name of Brook (I can't tell why) is alter'd to Broom: whereas it is manifest from this conceit upon the name that it should be Brook. 1 Mr. Pope. bles r bles me; if you will help me to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for eafing me of the carriage. Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter. Ford. I will tell you, Sir, if you will give me the hearing. Fal. Speak, good master Brook, I fhall be glad to be your fervant. Ford. Sir, I hear, you are a fcholar; (I will be brief with you) and you have been a man long known to me, tho' I had never fo good means, as defire, to make myself acquainted with you: I fhall discover a thing to you, wherein I muft very much lay open mine own imperfections; but, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own, that I may pafs with a reproof the easier; fith you yourself know, how eafie it is to be fuch an offender. Fal. Very well: Sir, proceed. Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's name is Ford. Fal. Well, Sir. Ford. I have long lov'd her; and, I proteft to you, bestow'd much on her; follow'd her with a doating obfervance; ingrofs'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every flight occafion, that could but niggardly give me fight of her; not only bought many prefents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what she would have given: briefly, I have purfued her, as love hath purfu'd me, which hath been on the wing of all occafions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means; meed, I am fure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel; That I have purchas'd at an infinite rate, and That hath taught me to say this; "Love like a fhadow flies, when fubftance love pursues; Purfuing That that flies, and flying what purfues. Fal. 1 . Fal. Have you receiv'd no promise of fatisfaction at her hands? Ford. Never. Fal. Have you importun'd her to fuch a purpose? Fal. Of what quality was your love then? Ford. Like a fair houfe, built on another man's ground; fo that I have loft my edifice, by miftaking the place where I erected it. Fal. To what purpofe have you unfolded this to me? Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some fay, that tho' fhe appear honeft to me, yet in other places fhe enlargeth her mirth fo far, that there is fhrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable difcourfe, of great admittance, authentick in your place and perfon, generally allow'd for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations. Fal. O Sir! Ford. Believe it, for you know it; there is mony, fpend it, fpend it; fpend more, fpend all I have, only give me fo much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable fiege to the honefty of this Ford's wife; ufe your art of wooing, win her to confent to you; if any man may, you may as foon as any. Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemence of your affection, that I fhould win what you would enjoy? methinks, you prefcribe to yourself very prepofteroufly. Ford. O, underftand my drift; fhe dwells fo fecurely, on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my foul dares not prefent itself; fhe is too bright to be look'd againft. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my defires had inftance and argument to commend themfelves; I could drive her then then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too too ftrongly embattel'd against me. What fay you to't, Sir John? Fal. Mafter Brook, I will first make bold with your mony; next, give me your hand; and laft, as I am a. gentleman, you fhall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. Ford. O good Sir! Fal. Mafter Brook, I fay, you fhall. Ford. Want no mony, Sir John, you fhall want none. Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you shall want none; I shall be with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment. Even as you came in to me, her affiftant, or go-between, parted from me; I fay, I fhall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rafcally knave, her husband, will be forth; come you to me at night, you fhall know how I speed. Ford. I am bleft in your acquaintance: do you know Ford, Sir? Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave, I know him not yet I wrong him, to call him poor; they fay, the jealous wittolly knave hath maffes of mony, for the which his wife feems to be well-favour'd. I will ufe her as the key of the cuckoldly-rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home. Ford. I would you knew Ford, Sir, that you might avoid him, if you faw him. Fal. Hang him, mechanical falt-butter rogue; I will ftare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel; it fhall hang like a meteor o'er the Cuckold's horns. Mafter Brook, thou fhalt know, I will predominate over the peasant; and thou fhalt lye with his wife: Come to me foon at night; Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his ftile: thou, mafter Brook, fhalt know him for knave and cuckold: come to me foon at night. [Exit. SCENE S CE N E X, Ford. What a damn'd Epicurean rafcal is this! my heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who fays, this is improvident jealoufie? my wife hath fent to him, the hour is fixt, the match is made; would any man have thought this? fee the hell of having a falfe woman! my bed fhall be abus'd, my coffers ranfack'd, my reputation grawn at; and I fhall not only receive this villainous wrong, but ftand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me the wrong. Terms, names; Amaimon founds well; Lucifer, well, Barbafon, well; yet they are devils additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold, wittol, cuckold! the devil himself hath not fuch a name. Page is an afs, a fecure afs, he will truft his wife; he will not be jealous; I will rather truft a Fleming with my butter, parfon Hugh the Welchman with my cheese, an Irishman with my Aquavita bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herfelf: then the plots, then the ruminates, then fhe devifes; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heav'n be prais'd for my jealoufie! Eleven o'clock the hour; I will prevent this, detect my wife, be reveng'd on Falftaff, and laugh at Page: I will about it: better three hours too foon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie; cuckold, cuckold, cuckold! [Exit. |