"What foe, to frustrate my designs, My schemes thus nightly countermines ? (Incens'd, he cries) this very hour The wretch shall bleed beneath my power." So said, a pond'rous trap he brought, And in the fact poor Puss was caught. "Smuggler, (says he) thou shalt be made A victim to our loss of trade."
The captive Cat, with piteous mews, For pardon, life, and freedom sues : "A sister of the science spare; One interest is our common care."
"What insolence! (the man replied) Shall Cats with us the game divide ? Were all your interloping band Extinguish'd, or expell'd the land, We Ratcatchers might raise our fees, Sole guardians of a nation's cheese!" A Cat, who saw the lifted knife, Thus spoke, and sav'd her sister's life: "In every age and clime we see
Two of a trade can ne'er agree. Each hates his neighbour for encroaching; 'Squire stigmatizes 'squire for poaching; Beauties with beauties are in arms, And scandal pelts each other's charms; Kings, too, their neighbour kings dethrone, In hope to make the world their own: But let us limit our desires, Not war like beauties, kings, and 'squires; For though we both one prey pursue, There's game enough for us and you."
THE GOAT WITHOUT A BEARD.
'Tis certain that the modish passions Descend among the crowd, like fashions. Excuse me, then, if pride, conceit, (The manners of the fair and great) I give to monkies, asses, dogs, Fleas, owls, goats, butterflies, and hogs. I say that these are proud; what then? I never said they equal men.
A Goat (as vain as Goat can be) Affected singularity : Whene'er a thymy bank he found, He roll'd upon the fragrant ground; And then with fond attention stood, Fix'd o'er his image in the flood.
" I hate my frowzy beard, (he cries) My youth is lost in this disguise. Did not the females know my vigour, Well might they loathe this reverend figure."
Resolv'd to smooth his shaggy face, He sought the barber of the place. A flippant monkey, spruce and smart, Hard by, profess'd the dapper art; His pole with pewter basons hung, Black rotten teeth in order strung, Rang'd cups, that in the window stood, Lin'd with red rags to look like blood, Did well his threefold trade explain, Who shav'd, drew teeth, and breath'd a vein.
The goat he welcomes with an air, And seats him in his wooden chair:
Mouth, nose, and cheek, the lather hides; Light, smooth, and swift, the razor glides. " I hope your custom, Sir, (says Pug) Sure never face was half so smug!" The Goat, impatient for applause, Swift to the neighbouring hill withdraws; The shaggy people grinn'd and star'd: "Heyday! what's here? without a beard! Say, brother, whence the dire disgrace? What envious hand hath robb'd your face ? When thus the fop with smiles of scorn:
"Are beards by civil nations worn?- E'en Muscovites have mow'd their chins. Shall we, like formal Capuchins, Stubborn in pride retain the mode, And bear about the hairy load? Whene'er we through the village stray, Are we not mock'd along the way, Insulted with loud shouts of scorn, By boys our beards disgrac'd and torn ?"
"Were you no more with goats to dwell, Brother, I grant you reason well : (Replies a bearded chief.) Beside, If boys can mortify thy pride, How wilt thou stand the ridicule Of our whole flock? Affected fool! Coxcombs, distinguish'd from the rest, To all but coxcombs are a jest."
THE OLD WOMAN AND HER CATS.
WHO friendship with a knave hath made, Is judg'd a partner in the trade. The matron who conducts abroad A willing nymph is thought a bawd; And if a modest girl is seen With one who cures a lover's spleen, We guess her not extremely nice, And only wish to know her price. 'Tis thus that on the choice of friends Our good or evil name depends.
A wrinkled hag, of wicked fame, Beside a little smoky flame Sate hovering, pinch'd with age and frost; Her shrivell'd hands, with veins emboss'd, Upon her knees her weight sustains, While palsy shook her crazy brains : She mumbles forth her backward prayers, An untam'd scold of fourscore years: About her swarm'd a numerous brood Of cats, who lank with hunger mew'd.
Teaz'd with their cries, her choler grew, And thus she sputter'd, " Hence, ye crew! Fool that I was to entertain
Such imps, such fiends, a hellish train ! Had ye been never hous'd and nurs'd, I for a witch had ne'er been curs'd. To you I owe that crowds of boys Worry me with eternal noise ;
Straws laid across my pace retard, The horseshoe's nail'd, (each threshold's guard)
The stunted broom the wenches hide,
For fear that I should up and ride;
They stick with pins my bleeding seat,
And bid me show my secret teat."
"To hear you prate would vex a saint: Who hath most reason of complaint? (Replies a Cat) Let's come to proof. Had we ne'er starv'd beneath your roof, We had, like others of our race, In credit liv'd, as beasts of chase. 'Tis infamy to serve a hag; Cats are thought imps, her broom a nag! And boys against our lives combine, Because, 'tis said, your Cats have nine."
THE BUTTERFLY AND THE SNAIL
ALL upstarts, insolent in place, Remind us of their vulgar race.
As in the sunshine of the morn A Butterfly, (but newly born) Sate proudly perking on a rose, With pert conceit its bosom glows; His wings (all glorious to behold) Bedropt with azure, jet, and gold, Wide he displays; the spangled dew Reflects his eyes and various hue.
His now-forgotten friend, a Snail, Beneath his house, with slimy trail Crawls o'er the grass, whom when he spies, In wrath he to the gard'ner cries,
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