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Luc. Have patience, I beseech. Adr. I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still ; My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will. He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere *. Ill-fac'd, worse-bodied, shapeless every where; Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making”, worse in mind. . Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one 2 No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone. Adr. Ah! but I think him better than I say, And yet would herein others' eyes were worse: Far from her nest the lapwing cries away"; My heart prays for him, though my tonguedo curse.
Enter DROMio of Syracuse.
Dro. S. Here, go; the desk, the purse; sweet now, make haste.
Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath?
Dro. S. By running fast.
Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio ! is he well?
Dro. S. No, he's in tartar limbo, worse than hell: A devil in an everlasting garment" hath him, One, whose hard heart is button'd up with steel; A fiend, a fairy", pitiless and rough;
* Dry, withered. * Marked or stigmatized by nature with deformity. * This expression, which appears to have been proverbial, is again alluded to in Measure for Measure, Act i. S. 5, p. 18. See note there. * The buff or leather jerkin of the sergeant is called an everlasting garment, because it was so durable. So in King Henry IV. Part 1.—“And is not a buff jerkin a most sweet robe of durance. Thus also in Davies's Epigrams: “Kate being pleas'd, wish'd that her pleasure could Endure as long as a buff jerkin would.’ It appears probable that there was also a kind of stuff called durance. See note on King Henry IV. Part I. Act i. Sc. 2. 7 Theobald would read a fury; but a fairy, in Shakspeare's time, sometimes meant a malevolent sprite, and coupled as it is with pitiless and rough, the meaning is clear.
A wolf, nay worse, a fellow all in buff; A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that countermands The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands”; A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry-foot well.9; One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls to hell 10. Adr. Why, man, what is the matter? Dro. S. I do not know the matter? he is 'rested on the case. Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me, at whose suit. Dro. S. I know not at whose suit he is arrested, well; But is" in a suit of buff, which 'rested him, that can I tell: Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in his desk? Adr. Go, fetch it, sister.—This I wonder at, [Erit LUCIANA. That he, unknown to me, should be in debt: Tell me, was he arrested on a band ** Dro. S. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing; A chain, a chain; do you not hear it ring? Adr. What, the chain 7 * The first folio reads, lans. Shakspeare would have put lanes but for the sake of the rhyme. * “To hunt or run counter signifies that the hounds or beagles hunt it by the heel,’ i.e. run backward, mistaking the course of the game. To draw dry foot was to follow the scent or track of the game. There is a quibble upon counter, which points at the prison so called. * Hell was the cant term for prison. There was a place of , this name under the Exchequer, where the king's debtors were confined. * Thus the old authentic copy. The omission of the personal pronoun was formerly very common: we should now write he's. Dro. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time, that I were gone. It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one. Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear. Dro. S. Oyes, If any hour meet a sergeant, a turns back for very fear. Adr. As if time were in debts how fondly dost thou reason 7 Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes more than he’s worth to season. Nay, he's a thief too: Have you not heard men say, That time comes stealing on by night and day? If he ” be in debt, and theft, and a sergeant in the way, Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day !
* i.e. a bond. Shakspeare takes advantage of the old spelling to produce a quibble.
Adr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it straight; And bring thy master home immediately.— Come, sister: I am press'd down with conceit"; Conceit, my comfort, and my injury. [Eveunt.
SCENE III. The same.
Enter ANTIPHoLUs of Syracuse.
Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth salute me As if I were their well acquainted friend"; And every one doth call me by my name. Some tender money to me, some invite me; Some other give me thanks for kindnesses; Some offer me commodities to buy : Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop, And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
* The old copy reads, “If I, &c.’
* Fanciful conception.
This actually happened to Sir H. Wotton when on his travels. See Reliquiae Wottonianae, 1685, p. 676.
And, therewithal, took measure of my body.
Enter DROMio of Syracuse.
Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for: What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparell’d”? Ant. S. What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean? Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's-skin that was kill'd for the prodigal: he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. Ant. S. I understand thee not. Dro. S. No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest” to do more exploits with his mace than a morris-pike *. * Theobald reads, “What, have you got rid of the picture of old Adam o' The emendation is approved and adopted by Malone; but I think, with Johnson, that the text does not require interpolation. Malone wished that Johnson had shown “how the text is intelligible without it.' The sergeant is designated by ‘the picture of old Adam’ because he wore buff, as Adam wore his native buff; and Dromio asks Antipholus if he had got him new apparell'd, i. e. got him a new suit, in other words got rid of him. * This unfortunate phrase is again mistaken here by all the commentators. It has nothing to do with a musket rest; and the rest of a pike is a thing of the imagination. It is a metaphorical expression for being determined, or resolutely bent to do a thing, taken from the game of Primero. Vide All's Well that Ends Well, Act ii. Sc. 1. vol. iii. p. 249, note 22. * A morris pike is a moorish pike, commonly used in the 16th century. It was not used in the morris dance, as Johnson erroneously supposed.
Ant. S. What? thou mean’st an officer 7 Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band: one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God give you good rest. Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone? Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-night? and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy Delay; Here are the angels that you sent for, to deliver you. Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I; And here we wander in illusions; Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
Enter a Courtezan. Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus. I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now; Is that the chain, you promis'd me to-day? Ant. S. Satan, avoid I charge thee tempt me not: Dro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan? Ant. S. It is the devil. Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God damn me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written, they appear to men like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her. Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir. Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here". Dro. S. Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon".
* Probably by purchasing something additional in the adjoining market.
* This proverb is alluded to again in the Tempest, Act ii.Sc. 2, p. 50:—‘He who eats with the devil had need of a long spoon.’