Every child at beholding him shiver'd with dread, СНАР. І. SOUTHEY'S "PIOUS PAINTER." THE depressing effects of a decided wet day upon the spirits-animal spirits I was about to write, but there are no such things as vegetable spirits, so there cannot be any doubt about the nature of the spirits to which I allude-every body has experienced. At no period, however, is the effect of a rainy day so completely damping-except when it deprives you of a long-promised tête-à-tête walk with your "oh no I never mention her"-as when you have rushed from the high pressure of business, and the murkiness of a town, to some quiet retreat where you have made up your mind to enjoy all sorts of out-of-door amusements, and, like Sir Dugald, provender yourself with such hearty meals of sweet, pure air as shall ensure you against a scanty supply for some time to come. I have often remarked-to myself that when you have, for any long time, made up your mind to enjoy any thing very particularly, something or other is sure to occur to balk your pleasing anticipations, and this I imagine was the foundation of the proverb that "anticipation is better than enjoyment." Have you never been invited, reader, by some very intimate friend, some Tom, Dick, or Harry, to dine with him, and meet a very jolly party, whose names are familiar to you as belonging to the best joke-crackers of the day, and enjoyed the flavour of the excellent wines you knew he must provide for them, and got your cachinnatory muscles in readiness to laugh at the wit which is expected in return for the wine-in anticipation ?-ay, and even got up a few Joe Millers yourself in order not to be thought a remarkably slow coach? Well ; what is the result? You go prepared to praise the champagne and Lafitte, and to establish your character as a good listener. The wine is too cold or too hot; not enough or too much up. The turbot is boiled to a jelly, or the salmon, like a Frenchman, is reluctant to quit its Bony-part from not having been long enough in hot water. Every thing goes wrong, and no one can tell why or wherefore. As far as the stomach is concerned you had done better to stay at home and enjoyed your chop and concomitant pint of port. But, then, your mental feast! Pooh! the principal wit has received an interim invite to some grander entertainment, and put your friend off under some vile excuse. The second fiddle, the punster, won't let off the puns with which he came charged because the wit is not present to be shot at by him, and give a second report of the puns in his club. The comic singer is sure to be suffering from a severe cold, and the gentleman that "gives imitations" upon most occasions won't even sell them for claret, under the plea of an attack of bronchitis. Your friend looks glum, and you endeavour to set the pot of fun boiling by telling one of the very best of the store which you have laid up for the occasion. A quiet smileless stare, and a low remark of "how very stale," is the result, and down goes the thermometer of your fun some degrees below zero. How happy you feel when coffee has been handed round, and you can escape without giving offence. There is nothing like improvising a party, getting it up à la minute. "Come and dine with me; I do not know what is in the house; but come along." Say so to every friend you meet, and never mind the black looks of your wife or your housekeeper; give them the best you have, with a good glass of wine, and a laughing, hearty welcome, and rely upon it you will not fail to have a very jolly party,--without anticipation. The ladies must allow that many balls and concerts at which they have anticipated much pleasure have passed off heavily, and most inharmoniously, whereas a quadrille suddenly got upon the carpet, or a glee and a chorus knocked up at a chance meeting, have proved unexpectedly pleasant and agreeable. As to long projected pic-nics they are proverbially certain to produce a fall of the barometer. Still these are but minor ills; disappointments that leave but a day's sting behind them; the venom of which is dissipated by a mere grumbling at them with some of your fellow sufferers. The real evil is experienced when to relieve the wearied body or the overworked brain you seek the air of the country, and think to enjoy exercise in the green fields, or on the bright waters beneath a cloudless sky, and when you have arrived at your destination find yourself a close prisoner at your inn or your friend's house; in spite of offers of impenetrable mackintoshes, water-boots, and capacious umbrellas. The reader may well ask the meaning of this discussion on rainy weather and its annoyances? I can only reply that my story led me to it, and that the reader's imaginary query will lead me back to my story. I do love the river's brink and the ocean's shore; and whenever I wish to escape from the toils or the pleasures of the town, I generally put myself and a very small carpet bag on board any steamer that may happen to be starting from her moorings at London Bridge when I happen to arrive there. Instead of going to any fashionable watering-place or any city of crowds between Gravesend and Grand Cairo, where you are sure to see familiar faces and get dragged into London life out of town, I keep a look out for some snug little retreat, and if I see one that suits my fancy, or that I fancy will suit it, I politely request the skipper to hoist a signal for a boat, pay him his whole fare, which is nothing but fair, and go ashore. Sometimes I make a lucky hit, and enjoy myself vastly; at other times I find myself in a wretched place without any thing to amuse or interest me, and have nothing to do but to get through the evening and the night as well as I can, and then betake myself to some other locality on the following morning. Last summer I boarded a steamer, bound, as I afterwards found, for Dover, Deal, and Ramsgate, and as she was a fine, commodious, fastsailing boat, I had almost resolved to visit the most distant of her places of call, and then cross over to the opposite coast; but, as we steamed along one of the passengers pointed out to me a point of land on her larboard bow as one of the flattest and most miserable spots he had ever He wondered how any body could live in such a place, and pro seen. fessed to entertain a serious doubt whether the inhabitants ever saw a visiter come amongst them. I like to astonish people; so when I had learnt from the fastidious gentleman, that the flat, low, aguish-looking island was called Deadman's Ness, I quietly and mendaciously told him that that was the place of my destination, the very spot which I had selected to pass a few pleasant days in. In order to make my story good I left him shrugging his shoulders and eyeing me with a look of pity, mingled with surprise, at my bad taste, to tell the captain to hoist a flag as a signal for a boat to put off to convey me ashore. It was speedily noticed, and a little peter-boat hoisted her sprit-sail and was quickly along side. I paid my fare, took my leave of my communicative acquaintance, and with my carpet-bag in my hand, seated myself in the space near the well of the peter-boat, which was graced with the name of a cabin by its owner and occupier. As the wind had been favourable for the boat to leave Deadman's Ness and reach the steamer, of course it was unfavourable for the boat to leave the steamer and reach the Ness. We had to tack I do not know how many times before we gained a clear sight of the little landingplace for which we were making, and when I saw it and the small public-house which stood close to it, and was told that it was the only place of entertainment for strangers on the island, I began to regret the probable sacrifice of an evening and night's comforts, for the mere purpose of astonishing a perfect stranger. Regrets, however, were useless then, and I endeavoured to console myself by thinking that if the ac commodations were bad at the little inn, I could hire a boat and sail elsewhere, or take my carpet-bag in hand, and get ferried over to the main land, and walk to the nearest town, which my conveyer in the pe ter-boat assured me was not above ten miles distant. I had been so much occupied in surveying the land before me that I had not thought of raising my eyes to the skies above me, nor was I aware that a bright clear morning had been succeeded by a cloudy, thick, hazy noon, until a heavy drop of rain fell upon my hand. I immediately looked up, and before I could ask whether the day was likely to prove unfavourable, a faint flash, succeeded by the rumbling of distant thunder, told me that we were about to have a storm. My boatman, as we were not above a quarter of a mile from the land, brailed up his sprite sail and took in his foresail, and when his canvass was all made snug, put out his oars, and pulled vigorously ashore. We reached the land just, as the rain began to fall in torrents, the lightning to gleam more vividly, and the thunder to proclaim, by its increased loudness, that the storm was approaching us more closely. A few steps enabled me to reach "The Fish," and a few words to explain to its landlady that I wished for some refreshment and accommodation for the night. I was shown into a neat sitting-room, and then into a clean, though very minute bedroom above, which I was informed was at my service. This part of the arrangement was quite satisfactory, and when a nice dish of flounders, delicately fried, and a few slices of bacon, flanked by delicious fresh eggs, made their appearance, I was quite reconciled to my fate. I ate my bacon in the midst of the thunder-storm without giving vent to the exclamation which a certain Is > raelite is reported to have uttered under the same unpropitious circum stances. After my meal was ended, I was furnished with some excellent grog and tobacco. Wine, of course, I never dreamed of asking for in such a spot and such a house. I am no great smoker or grog-consumer, but I thought that a pipe and a glass would serve to pass away the time until the storm should have passed away, and enabled me to seek a few hours enjoyment in the open air. So I filled and lighted my tube, mixed my tumbler, and careless whether or not the spirits or the weed had paid duty to government, established a cloud of my own, which soon vied in density with the vapours without. The storm passed over, and the last distant clap of thunder was heard as I struck the ashes out of my pipe. I would not fill again, for I expected, as the thunder had ceased, that the rain would shortly cease too. În this I was deceived, and need I say it?-disappointed. It ceased to pour with rain it is true-but the heavy, dashing, splashing rain, was succeeded by a steady falling of moisture, which, from the leaden hue of the clouds, seemed likely to last for hours, and so it did. What was to be done?-read? There was not a book in the house. I had, it is true, my pocket Horace, and my Elzevir Pindar in my pocket, but I knew their odes by heart. Write? I had materials, it is equally true, but I was not "i' the vein" to use them. After sitting for some time, thinking of Washington Irving's wet day, and longing for a cock on a heap of manure, or a disconsolate sparrow to gaze upon, and sympathize with, I did see a skylark attempt to soar above the clouds, but after he had flown a little way, and uttered a twit-twit or two his spirits were damped. He closed his wings, and fell suddenly to the ground. He alighted on the sand and run his head into a tuft of rushes, which was the only vegetable, save and except a straggling furze bush or two which grew upon the flat shore, seemingly resolved to seek for safety and for succour in its scanty protection. The only remedy in a case like mine that I have as yet discovered, is to summon the landlord, and bribe him with unlimited offers of glasses of grog, to afford you the pleasure of hiscom pany. I did so upon this occasion, but was informed by his wife that he had not yet returned from fishing. I was delighted to hear her add that she expected him before very long, as the tide had already turned, and would speedily cover the low flat shore, which was at present bare for some half mile. It was an amusement to me to watch the tiny waves as they came tumbling in, and filled pool after pool; and then there was a stake fixed in the sand, and it relieved me to observe the tide gently rising to its top until it covered it. Lastly, the water reached the hard at which I had landed, and it was great fun to bet with myself how many minutes some particular shaped stone would remain dry. Guess my relief, however, when I saw four little cutter-rigged vessels round the point, and make directly for mine inn. I borrowed an umbrella and went out to meet them, and to inspect their cargoes, which I found consisted entirely of shrimps, on supplying the London market with which their livelihood chiefly depended. I introduced myself to the landlord, whom I knew by his wearing that peculiar look which those who have been in the habit of entertaining men and horses invariably wear. I can hardly describe the look; but it is a sort of mixture of curiosity, deference, and defiance, as much as to imply, "Who are you ? I am delighted to see you if you have any money, and are inclined to spend it; but if you have not any, or are stingy with it, you may tramp as soon as you please." I will not stop to record all that passed between us previously to our sitting down together to enjoy ourselves after a capital supper off that most delicious of all delicious sea-productions, the shrimp. It beats the prawn hollow in my estimation, if it be large, fresh, just boiled to a second, well salted, and eaten with good bread and butter and-an appetite. CHAP. II. FANCY us over our supper-sequiturs; the smoke ascending from our -pipes I was going to say-but it would have been wrong for I was furnished with some most excellent old cheroots, which my landlord undisguisedly told me were smuggled goods; the Hollands grog sending forth its peaty odours, which being also contraband, amalgamated most readily with the fragrant weed. 66 Stranger," said my host, "I like what I have seen of you-here is to your good health. Smoke and drink freely, for no headache will follow from enjoying the goods on which the government has not laid its dirty hands, and rely upon it the chalk-marks will not exhaust your purse to wipe them out." I returned thanks, of course, and perhaps the more courteously from the implied promise that my enjoyments would not prove expensive. "How do you like Deadman's Ness?" he asked. "I have seen so little of it," I replied, "and under such an unpropitious atmosphere, that I am unwilling to give an opinion of the little I have seen of it. I can only say that I have found your house and yourself agreeable; and if all the islanders resemble you and the crews of the boats that came in with you, you must be a fine race of men." "Some people might call that flattery, but I do not," said mine host, rather proudly. "I stand six feet two in my stocking-feet, and yet I am not by any means considered a tall man in the Ness. I am strong, too, and hardy, and so we are all, for we are early risers, hard-workers, active players, and seldom within doors when there is light enough for us to see to do any thing in the open air, and as for weather-bah! we despise it." "No ague here, then ?" said I. "The chills-only the chills now and then-but we take preventives, and seldom suffer." "What medicines do you take," I inquired, "to guard against its effects ?" Instead of answering my question verbally, he quietly pointed with the end of his pipe to the old Dutch spirit-bottle and the tobacco-dish, and winked. "You spoke of being active players-what are your sports?" "It would make rather a long catalogue if I were to mention them all—but as for cricketting, swimming, running, shooting, and drinking, we are open to any challenge that may be sent us. I say drinking-not that we are a drunken set of men by any means; but the air of the |