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pow. raising your hit slightly with the left hand, which leaves your right ai liberty to shake hands if you stop. If the gent eman is un. gloved, you must take off yours, not otherwise.
Meeting a lady, the rule is that she should make the first salute, or at least indicate by her manner that she recognizes you. Your bow must be lower, and your hat carried further from your head; but yule never offer to shake hands; that is her privilege.
The right, being the post of honor, is given to superiors and ladies, except in the street, when they take the wall, as farthest from danger from passing carriages, in walking with or meeting them.
In walking with a lady, you are not bound to recognize gentlemen with whom she is not acquainted, nor have they, in such a case, any right to salute, much less to speak to you.
Whenever or wherever you stand, to converse with a lady, or while handing her into or out of a carriage, keep your hat in your hand.
Should her shoe become unlaced, or her dress in any manner disor. dered, fail not to apprise ber of it, respectfully, and offer your assist
A gentleman may hook a dress or lace a shoe with perfect propriety, and should be able to do so gracefully.
Whether with a lady or gentleman, a street talk should be a short one; and in either case, when you' have passed the customary compliments, if you wish to continue the conversation, you must say, - Permit me to accompany you.”.
Don't sing, hum, whistle, or talk to yourself, in walking. Endeavor, besides being well dressed, to have a calm, good-natured countenance. A scowl always begets wrinkles. It is best not to smoke at all in public, but none but a ruffian in grain will inflict upon society the odor of a bad cigar, or that of any kind on Jadies.
Ladies are not allowed, upon ordinary occasions, to take the arm of any one but a relative or an accepted lover in the street, and in the day time; in the evening—in the fields, or in a crowd, wherever she may need protection—she should not refuse it. She should pass her hand over the gentleman's arm, merely, but should not walk at arm's length apart, as country girls sometimes do. In walking with a gentleman, the step of the lady must be lengthened, and his shortened, in preveni the hobbling appearance of not keeping step. Of course, the conversation of a stranger, beyond asking a necessary question, must be considered as a gross insult, and repelled with proper spirit.
(4.) Visuing. Of course, you ring or knock, and await the opening of the door. When this is done, you ask for the mistress of the house, not the master.
Should she be not at home or engaged, you leave your card, where cards are used, or. y ur compliments. Where there are several ladies in the family, you may ask for the ladies. Where people dine early, calls are not made until some time after dinner--in cities they are made from eleven till three.
You leave overcoat, cane, umbrella, &c., and, if the call is of any length, your hat, in the entry. A graceful bow, a pleasant smilo, zo
Easy way of paying the customary compliments, and suiting them to each person, no lesson can teach. In the presence of ladies, you are only silent when listening to them. You never yawn, nor lounge op your seat, nor interrupt, nor contradict, but by insinuation--you never tell unpleasant news, nor make ill-timed observations. Study to please, by a respectful demeanor and an easy gayety. Never be rude or boisterous or presuming. In short, it is much easier to tell what you should not do, than what you should-but there is one important direction, " never wear out your welcome.” It is well to know how to enter a room, but it is much better to know when and how to leave it. If you have made a good impression, a long story may wear it cff-if à bad one, being tedious only makes it worse. Don't stand hammering and fumbling, and saying, “ Well, I guess I must be going.” When you are ready, go at once. It is very easy to say, * Miss Susan, your company is so agreeable, that I am staying longer than I intended, but I hope to have the pleasure of seeing you soon again; I wish you a good morning ;" and, bowing, smiling, shaking hands, if the hand be proffered, you leave the room, if possible with out turning your back; you bow again at the front door, and if any eyes are following you, you still turn and raise your hat in the street.
(5.) Introductions. The rule is, never to introduce one person to another without knowing that it is agreeable to both. Ladies are always to be consulted beforehand. Gentlemen are to be introduced to ladies, not ladies to gentlemen. In other cases, the younger to the elder. Where persons are equal, we “introduce" them. Where there is much difference in age or station, we “ present.”
A common form is, “ Mr. Jones, Mr. Smith-Mr. Smith, Mr. Jones.' Messrs. Jones and Smith bow, shake hands, express their happiness at being made acquainted with each other.
When more ceremony is required, the introducer says, “ Miss Smith, permit me to introduce Mr. Jones to your acquaintance," or " allow me to present.”
Coffee-house, steamboat, and stage-coach acquaintances last only for the time being. You are not obliged to know them afterwards, however familiar for lue time, no more than a lady is required to recogrize a gentleman with whom she has danced at a public ball.
(6.) Behavior at Dinner. There is no situation in which one's breeding is more observed, than at the dinner-table ; our work would therefore be incomplete without the proper directions as to its etiquette.
If there are ladies, gentlemen offer their arms, and conduct thein to the dining-room, according to their age or the degree of respect to be shown them.
The lady of the house sits at the head of the table, and the gentle man opposite at the foot. The place of honor for gentleme, is on each side of the mistress of the house—for ladies, on each side of the master. The company should be so arranged that each lady will have
some gentleman at her side to assist her. Of course it is every gen tleman's duty, first of all to see that ladies near him are attended to.
When napkins are provided, they are at once carefully unfoldca, and laid on the knees. Observe if grace is to be said, and keep & proper decorum. If soup is served. take a piece of bread in the left hand, and the spoon in the right, and sip noiselessly from the side of the spoon. Do not take two plates of the same kind of scrap, and "rever tip up the plate.
When regular courses are served, the next dish is fish. If silver or wide-pronged forks are used, eat with the fork in the right hand the knife is unnecessary.
Next come the roast and boiled meats. If possible, the knife should never be put in the mouth at all, and if at all, let the edge be turned outward. Anything taken into the mouth not fit to be swallowed, should be quietly removed with the fingers of the left hand, to that side of the plate. The teeth should be picked as little as possible, and never with the fork or fingers. Carefully abstain from every act of observation that may cause disgust, such as spitting, blowing the nose gulping, rinsing the mouth, &c. Should a gentleman send you wine at a public table, or ask the honor of a glass with you, observe when he raises his glass, and do the same, bowing, whether you drink or not.
When the ladies leave the table, which they do together at the sig. nal of the mistress of the house, the gentlemen rise and conduct them to the door of the apartmeni, and then return to the table. This is in forinal parties.
If at dinner you are requested to help any one to sauce, do not pour it over the meat or vegetables, but on one side. If you should have to carve and help a joint, do not load a person's plate—it is vulgar: also in serving soup, one ladleful to each plate is sufficient.
Eat peas with a dessert spoon; and curry also. Tarts and pud. dings are to be eaten with a spoon.
As a general rule, in helping any one at table, never use a knife when you can use a spoon.
Making a noise in chewing, or breathing hard in eating, are both uuseemly habits, and ought to be eschewed.
. Never pare an apple or a pear for a lady unless she desire you, and then be careful to use your fork to hold it; you may sometimes offer to divide a very large pear with or for a person.
At some tables, large colored glasses, partly filled with water, with a bit of lemon, are brought when the cloth is removed. You dip & corner of your napkin in the water, and wipe your mouth, then rinse your fingers and wipe them on your napkin.
The best general rule for a person unacquainted with the usages of society, is to be cautious, pay attention, and do as he sees others do, who ought to know what is proper. Most of our blunders are the result of haste and want of observation.
(7.) On Conversation. The object of conversation is to entertain and amuse.
To be agro able, you must learn to be a good listener. A man who monopolizce a conversation is a bore, no matter how great his knowledge.
Never get into a dispute. State your opinions, but do not argue them. Do not contradict, and, above all, never offend by correcting mistakes or inaccuracies of fact or expression.
Never lose temper-never notice a slight--never seen conscious of an affront, unless it is of a gross character, and then punish it at
You can never quarrel in the presence of ladies, but a personal indignity may be avenged anywhere.
You are not required to defend your friends in company, unless the conversation is addressed to you; but you may correct a statement oi fact, if you know it to be wrong.
Never talk at people by hints, slurs, innuendoes, and such mean de vices. If you have anything to say, out with it. Nothing charms more than candor, when united with good breeding.
Do not call people by their names, in speaking to them. In speaking of your own children, never “ Master” and “ Miss" them-ir speaking to other people of theirs, never neglect to do so.
It is very vulgar to talk in a loud tone, and indulge in horse-laughs, Be very careful in speaking of subjects upon which you are not ac. quainted. Much is to be learned by confessing your ignorancenoihing can be by pretending to knowledge which you do not pos
Never tell long stories. Avoid all common slang phrases and pet words.
Of all things, don't attempt to be too fine. Use good honest English --and common words for common things. If you speak of breeches, shirts, or petticoats, call them by their right names. The vulgarity is n avoiding them.
(8.) General Rules of Behavior. Having dressed yourself, pay no farther attention to your clothes. Few things look worse than a continual fussing with your attire.
Never scratch your head, pick your teeth, clean your nails, or, worse than all, pick your nose, in company; all these things are disgusting.' Spit as little as possible, and never upon the floor.
Do not lounge on sófas, nor tip back your chair, nor elevate your feet.
If you are going into the company of ladies, beware of onions, spir its, and tobacco
If you can sing or play, do so at once when requested, without re quiring to be pressed, or making a fuss. On the other hand, let your performance be brief, or, if never so good, it will be tiresome. When å lady sits down to the piano forte, some gentleman should attend her, arrange the music stool, and turn over the leaves.
Meeting friends in a public promenade, you salute them the first lime in passing, anu not every time you meet.
Never tattle, nor repeat in one society any scandal or personal matter you hear in another. Give your own opinion of people if you please, but never repeat that of others.
Meeting an acquaintance among strangers, in the street or a cof fre-house, never address him by name. It is vulgar and annoying.
HOW TO GET RICH.
What wil iny reader give to know how to get rich ? Now, I wil not vouch that the following rules will enable every person who may read them to acquire wealth, but this I will answer for, that if ever & man does grow rich by honest means, and retains his wealth for any length of time, he must practise upon the principles laid down in the following essay. The remarks are not original with me, but I strongly commend them to the attention of every young man, at least as affording the true secret of success in attaining wealth. A sing.e perusal of such an essay, at an impressible moment, has sometimes a very wonderful effect upon the disposition and character.
Fortune, they say, is a fickle dame-full of her freaks and caprices; who blindly distributes her favors without the slightest discrimination. So inconstant, so wavering is she represented, that her most faithful votaries can place no reliance on her promises. Disappointment, they tell us, is the lot of those who make offerings at her shrine. Now, all this is a vile slander upon the dear blind lady.
Although wealth often appears the result of mere accident, or a fortunate concurrence of favorable circumstances, without any exertion of skill or foresight, yet every man of sound health and unimpaired mind may become wealthy, if he takes the proper steps.
Foremost in the the list of requisites, are honesty and strict integ. rity in every transaction of life. Let a man have the reputation of being fair and upright in his dealings, and he will possess the confi. dence of ail who know him. Without these qualities, every other merit will prove unavailing. Ask concerning a man," is he active and capable ?" Yes. « Industrious, temperate, and regular in his habits ?” O, yes. "Is he honest ? is he trustworthy ?” Why, as to that, I am sorry to say that he is not to be trusted; he wants watching; he is a little tricky, and will take an undue advantage, if he can “ Then I will have nothing to do with him ;" will be the invariable reply. Why, then, is honesty the best policy? Because, without it, you will get a bad name, and everybody will shun you.
A character for knavery will prove an insurmountable obstacle to success in almost every undertaking. It will be found that the straight line is, in business, as in geometry, the shortest. In a word, it is almost impossible for a dishonest man to acquire wealth by a regular process of business, because he is shunned as as a depredator upon society.
Needy men are apt to deviate from the rule of integrity, under the plea that necessity knows no law: they might as well add, tha, it knows no shame. The course is suicidal, and by destroying all con. fidence, ever keeps them immured in poverty, although they may pose Aess every other quality for success in the world.
Punctuality, which is said to be he soui of business, is another im. portant element in the art of money-getting. The man known to be