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Mal. She returns this ring to you, sir ; you might have saved me my pains, to have taken it away yourself. She adds, moreover, that
you should put your lord into a desperate assurance she will none of him : and one thing more, that you be never so hardy to come again in his affairs, unless it be to report your lord's taking of this. Receive it so.
Vio. She took the ring of me. I'll none of it.
Mal. Come, sir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her will is it should be so returned : if it be worth stooping for, there it lies in your eye; if not, be it his that finds it.
SCENE III.-A Room in OLIVIA's House.
Enter Sir TOBY BELch and SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK. Sir To. Approach, Sir Andrew : not to be a-bed after midnight is to be up betimes ; and diluculo surgere, thou knowest
Sir And. Nay, by my troth, I know not: but I know, to be up late is to be
late. Sir To. A false conclusion; I hate it as an unfilled can. To be up after midnight, and to go to bed then, is early : so that, to go to bed after midnight is to go to bed betimes. Do not our lives consist of the four elements ?
Sir And. Faith so they say ; but, I think, it rather consists of eating and drinking.
Sir To. Thou’rt a scholar ; let us therefore eat and drink.Marian, I say !-a stoop of wine !
Sir And. Here comes the fool, i' faith.
Enter Clown. Clo. How now, my hearts ! Did you never see the picture of we three ?1
Sir To. Welcome, ass ! Now let's have a catch.
Sir And. By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg; and so sweet a breath to sing, as the fool has. In sooth, thou wast in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spokest of Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of Queubus ; 'twas very good, i' faith. I sent thee sixpence for thy leman : hadst it?
Clo. I did impeticos thy gratillity ; for Malvolio's nose is no whipstock :: My lady has a white hand, and the Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.
Sir And. Excellent! Why, this is the best fooling, when all is done. Now, a song.
Sir To. Come on; there is sixpence for you : let's have a song. Sir And. There's a testril of me too ; if one knight give a Clo. Would you have a love-song, or a song of good life?
Sir To. A love-song, a love-song.
That can sing both high and low :
Every wise man's son doth know.
Sir And. Excellent good, i' faith.
Present mirth hath present laughter;
What's to come is still unsure :
Youth's a stuff will not endure.
Sir And. A mellifluous voice, as I am true knight.
Sir To. To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion. But shall we make the welkin dance indeed ? Shall we rouse the night-owl in a catch, that will draw three souls out of one weaver ? shall we do that? Sir And. An
me, let's do't: I am dog at a catch.
Clo. 'Hold thy peace, thou knave,' knight ? I shall be constrained in't to call thee knave, knight.
Sir And. 'Tis not the first time I have constrained one to call me knave. Begin, fool ; it begins, 'Hold thy peace.'
Clo. I shall never begin, if I hold my peace.
[They sing a catch.
Enter MARIA. Mar. What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady have not called up her steward, Malvolio, and bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me.
Sir To. My lady's a Cataian, we are politicians ; Malvolio's a Peg-a-Ramsey, and "Three merry men be we? Am not I consanguineous ? am I not of her blood ? Tilly-vally! lady! “There dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady !'4
[Singing. Clo. Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling.
Sir And. Ay, he does well enough, if he be disposed, and so do I too; he does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural. Sir To. ‘O, the twelfth day of December'
[Singing. Mar. For the love o' God, peace!
Enter MALVOLIO. Mal. My masters, are you mad ? or what are you? Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Do you make an ale-house of my lady's house, that ye squeak out your cosiers' catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time, in you
u ? Sir To. We did keep time, sir, in our catches. Sneck up p!5
Mal. Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me tell you, that, though she harbours you as her kinsman, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If you can separate yourself and your misdemeanours, you are welcome to the house ; if not, an it would please you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid you farewell.
Sir To. 'Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone.
Clo. Sir Toby, there you lie.
Sir To. Out o'time ? sir, ye lie.--Art any more than a steward ? Dost thou think because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale ?
Clo. Yes, by Saint Anne ; and ginger shall be hot i' the mouth too.
Sir To. Thou ’rt i' the right.-Go, sir, rub your chain with crumbs.—A stoop of wine, Maria !
Mal. Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady's favour at anything more than contempt, you would not give means for this uncivil rule ; she shall know of it, by this hand.
[E.cit. Mar. Go shake your ears.
Sir And. 'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's a-hungry, to challenge him the field ; and then to break promise
; with him, and make a fool of him.
Sir To. Do't, knight ; I'll write thee a challenge; or I'll deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.
Mar. Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for to-night; since the youth of the count's was to-day with my lady, she is much out of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let me alone with him : if I do not gull him into a nayword, and make him a common recreation, do not think I have wit enough to lie straight in my bed : I know I can do it.
Sir To. Possess us, possess us ; tell us something of him.
Sir To. What, for being a Puritan ? thy exquisite reason, dear knight?
Sir And. I have no exquisite reason for't, but I have reason good enough.