2 If any muse why I salute the stage, [age: *scenes Forty-fold proof against the conjuring means Whereof the allegory and hid sense You would not argue him of arrogance: Which with a constant firmness he pursues, muse. And this he hopes all free souls will allow : Traduce, corrupt, apply, INFORCE, suggest.] The first folio reads enforme instead of enforce; but as the last is sense, I have not taken upon me to alter the received reading, which has also the authority of the second and succeeding editions in its favour. 3 Here now, put case, our author should, once more, Swear that h's play were good.] This seems to allude to the last lines of the epilogue to the preceding play; though it must be said, that our poet often takes care to acquaint the au dience with his own good opinion of his works, and directs them to judge accordingly. Ovid. SCENE I "THE ACT I. HEN, when this body falls in funeral fire, [aspire." My name shall live, and my best part It shall go so. Lusc. Young master, master Ovid, do you hear? Gods a' me! away with your songs, and sonnets; and on with your gown and cap quickly: here, here, your father will be a man of this room presently. Come, nay, nay, nay, nay, be brief. These verses too, a poison on 'em, I cannot abide 'em, they make me ready to cast, by the banks of Helicon'. Nay, look, what a rascally untoward thing this poetry is; I could tear 'em now. Ovid. Give me, how near's my father? Lusc. Heart a' man: get a law-book in your hand, I will not answer you else. Why so: now there's some formality in you. By Jove, and three or four of the gods more, am right of mine old master's humour for that; this villainous poetry will undo you, by the welkin. Ovid. What, hast thou buskins on, Luscus, that thou swear'st so tragically and high? Lusc. No, but I have boots on, sir, and so has your father too by this time; for he call'd for 'em ere I came from the lodging. Ovid. Why? was he no readier ? Lusc. O no; and there was the mad skeldring captain, with the velvet arms, ready to lay hold on him as he comes down: *They make me ready to cast by the banks of Helicon.] The want of a small point hath spoiled a very humorous sentence. The first folio puts a comma after the word cast, and the rest of the sentence is in the nature of an oath; as in the next speech he says, This villainous poetry will undo you, by the welkin." he that presses every man he meets, with an oath to lend him money, and cries, (Thou must do't, old boy, as thou art a man, a man of worship.) Ovid. Who? Pantilius Tucca? Lusc. I, he; and I met little master Lupus, the tribune, going thither too. Ovid. Nay, an' he be under their arrest, I may (with safety enough) read over my elegy before he come. Lusc. Gods a' me! what'll you do? why, young master, you are not Castalian mad, lunatic, frantic, desperate !_ha! Ovid. What ailest thou, Luscus ! Lusc. God be with you, sir, I'll leave you to your poetical fancies, and furies. I'll not be guilty, I. Ovid. Be not, good ignorance: I'm glad th'art gone: For thus alone, our ear shall better judge Ovid. Lib. Amor. Ele. 15. "ENVY, why twitt'st thou me, my time's spent ill? "And call'st my verse, fruits of an idle quill? "Or that (unlike the line from whence I "sprung) "War's dusty honours I pursue not young? "Or that I study not the tedious laws; "And prostitute my voice in every cause? Thy scope is mortal; mine eternal fame, "Which through the world shall ever chaunt "my name. [and Ide, "Homer will live, whilst Tenedos stands, 'Or, to the sea fleet Simois doth slide: "And so shall Hesiod too, while vines do 66 "bear, "Or crooked sickles crop the ripen'd ear "Callimachus, though in invention low, "Shall still be sung, since he in art doth flow, "No loss shall come to Sophocles' proud "vein; “With sun and moon Aratus shall remain. "While slaves be false, fathers hard, and "bawds be whorish, "Whilst harlots flatter, shall Menander "flourish. [rear'd strain, "Ennius, though rude, and Accius' high"A fresh applause in every age shall gain. "Of Varro's name, what ear shall not be "told? "Of Jason's Argo and the fleece of gold? "Then shall Lucretius' lofty numbers die, "When earth and seas in fire and flame "shall fry. "Tityrus, tillage, Enee shall be read, "Whilst Rome of all the conquer'd world "is head. [broken, "Till Cupid's fires be out, and his bow Thy verses, neat Tibullus, shall be spoken, Ovid senior, Ovid junior, Luscus, Tucca, Lupus, Pyrgus. Ovid se. Your name shall live indeed, sir; you say true; but how infamously, how scorn'd and contenin'd in the eyes and ears of the best and gravest Romans, that you think not on: you never so much as dream of that. Are these the fruits of all my travail and expences? Is this the scope and aim of thy studies? Are these the hopeful courses, wherewith I have so long flattered my expectation from thee? Verses? Poetry? Ovid, whom I thought to see the pleader, become Ovid the play-maker? Ovid ju. No, sir. Ovid se. Yes, sir; I hear of a tragedy of yours coming forth for the common players there, call'd Medea. By my householdgods, if I come to the acting of it, i'll add one tragic part more than is yet expected to it; believe me when I promise it. What? shall I have my son a stager now? an enghle for players? a gull? a rook? a shotclog? to make suppers, and be laugh'd at? Publius, I will set thee on the funeral pile first. Ovidju. Sir, I beseech you to have pa tience. Lusc. Nay, this 'tis to have your ears dam'd up to good counsel. I did augure all this to him before-hand, without poring into an ox's paunch for the matter, and yet he would not be scrupulous. Tuc. How now, goodman slave? what rowly-powly? all rivals, rascal? Why, my master of worship, dost hear? Are these thy best projects is this, thy designs and thy discipline, to suffer knaves to be competitors While slaves be false, FATHERS hard, and bawds be whorish.] This line is not the most harmonious that might have been; and Mr. Theobald would render it more musical, by reading sires hard, instead of fathers hard: but Jonson has many others of the same rough cadence, and the authority of all the copies supports the present text. with commanders and gentlemen? are we parallels, rascal? are we parallels? Oid se. Sirrah, go get my horses ready. You'll still be prating. Tuc. Do, you perpetual stinkard, do, go; talk to tapsters and ostlers, you slave; they are i' your element, go; here be the emperor's captains, you raggamuffin rascal, and not your cam'rades. Lup. Indeed, Marcus Ovid, these players are an idle generation, and do much harm in a state, corrupt young gentry very much, I know it: I have not been a tribuue thus long and observ'd nothing: besides, they will rob us, us, that are magistrates, of our respect, bring us upon their stages, and make us ridiculous to the plebeians; they will play you or me, the wisest men they can come by still, only to bring us in contempt with the vulgar, and make us cheap. Tuc. Th'art in the right, my vener ble cropshin, they will indeed, the tongue of the oracie never twang'd truer. Your courtier cannot kiss his mistress's slippers in quiet for 'em; nor your white innocent gallant pawn his revelling suit to make his punk a supper. An honest decayed commander cannot skelder, cheat, nor be seen in a bawdyhouse, but he shall be straight in one of their wormwood comedics. They are grown licentious, the rogues; libertines, at libertines. They forget they are i' the statute, the rascals; they are blazon'd there; there they are trick'd, they and their pedigrees; they need no other heralds, I wiss. Ovid se. Methinks, if nothing else, yet this alone, the very reading of the public edicts, should fright thee from commerce with them, and give thee distaste enough of their actions. But this betrays what a student you are, this argues your proficiency in the law. Ovid ju. They wrong me, sir, and do abuse you more, [ports. That blow your ears with these untrue reI am not known unto the open stage, Nor do I traffic in their theatres Indeed, I do acknowledge, at request Of some mere friends, and honourable Romans, 4 I have begun a poem of that nature. Ovid se. You have, sir, a poem ? and where is't? that's the law you study. Ovid ju. Cornelius Gallus borrowed it to read. Ovid se. Cornelius Gallus? There's another gallant too hath drunk of the same poison, and Tibullus and Propertius. But these are gentlemen of means and revenues now. Thou art a younger brother, and hast nothing but thy bare exhibition; which I protest shall be bare indeed, if thou forsake not these unprofitable by-courses, and that timely too. Name mc a profest poet, that his poetry did ever afford him so much as a competency. I, your god of poets there (whom all of you admire and reve rence so much) Homer, he whose wormeaten statue must not be spewed against but with hallow'd lips and groveling adoration, what was he? what was he? Tuc. Marry, I'll tell thee, old swaggerer; he was a poor, blind, rhyming rascal, that liv'd obscurely up and down in booths and tap-houses, and scarce ever made a good meal in his sleep, the whoreson hungry beggar. Ovid se. He says well: Nay, I know this netties you now; but answer me, is't not true? You'll tell me his name shall live; and that (now being dead) his works have eterniz'd him, and made him divine; but could this divinity feed him while he liv d? could his name feast him? Tuc. Or purchase him a senator's revenue? could it? Ovid se. I, or give him place in the commonwealth worship, or attendants? make him be carried in his litter? Tuc. Thou speakest sentences, old Bias. Lup. All this the law will do, young sir, if you'll follow it. Ovid se. If he be mine, he shali follow and observe what I will apt him to, or I profess here openly and utterly to disclaim him. Ovid ju. Sir, let me crave you will forego these moods: Run smoothly as Propertius' elegies. Ovid se. Propertius elegies? good! Lup. Nay, you take him too quickly, Marcus. Ovid se. Why, he cannot speak, he cannot think out of poetry; he is bewitch'd with it. Lup. Come, do not mis-prize him. Ovid se. Mis-prize? I marry, I would have him use some such words now; they have some touch, some taste of the law. He should make himself a style out of these, and let his Propertius' elegies go by. Lup. Indeed, young Publius, he that will now hit the mark, must shoot through the law; we have no other planet reigns, and in that sphere you may sit and sing with angels. Why, the law makes a man 3 There they are TRICK'D, they and their pedigrees.] To trick, is a term of heraldry, and signifies to draw a coat of arms in its proper colours. Of some MERE friends, and honourable Romans.] Mere friends, is an expression, which may be interpreted to signify true, real friends: but the reading of the first iolio is pear friends, from which I take the other to be a corruption. happy, without respecting any other merit; a simple scholar, or none at all, may be a lawyer. Tuc. He tells thee true, my noble Neophyte; my little Grammaticaster, he does: it shall never put thee to thy mathematicks, met physicks, philosophy, and I know not what suppos'd sufficiencies; if thou canst but have the patience to plod enough, talk, and make a noise enough, be impudent enough, and 'tis enough. Lup. Three books will furnish you. Tuc. And the less art the better: besides when it shall be in the power of thy chevril conscience, to do right or wrong at thy pleasure, my pretty Alcibiades. Lup. I, and to have better men than himself, by many thousand degrees, to observe him, and stand bare. Tuc. True, and he to carry himself proud and stately, and have the law on his side for't, old boy. Ovid se. Well, the day grows old, gentlemen, and I must leave you. Publius, if thou wilt hold my favour, abandon these idle fruitless studies that so bewitch thee. Send Janus home his back-face again, and look only forward to the law: intend that. I will allow thee what shall suit thee in the rank of gentlemen, and mainta n thy society with the best; and under these conditions I leave thee. My blessings light upon thee, if thou respect them; if not, mine eyes may drop for thee, but thine own heart will ake for itself; and so farewell. What, are my horses come? Lus. Yes, sir, they are at the gate with out. Ovid se. That's well. Asinius Lupus, a word. Captain, I shall take my leave of you? 5 Tuc. No, my little old boy, dispatch with Cothurnus there: I'll attend thee, I Lus. To borrow some ten drachms. I know his project. Orid se. Sir, you shall make me beholding to you. Now, captain Tucca, what say you? Tuc. Why, what should I say? or what can I say, my flower o' the order? Should I say thou art rich, or that thou art honourable, or wise, or valiant, or learned, or liberal? why, thou art all these, and thou knowest it (my noble Lucullus) thou knowest it. Come, be not ashamed of thy virtues, old stump. Honour's a good brooch to wear in a man's hat at all times. Thou art the man of wars Mecanas, old boy. Why shouldst not thou be grac'd then by them, as well as he is by his poets? How now, my carrier, what news? Lus. The boy has stayed within for his cue this half hour. Tuc. Come, do not whisper to me, but speak it out: what? it is no treason against the state I hope? is't? Lus. Yes, against the state of my master's purse. Pyr. Sir, Agrippa desires you to forbear him till the next week; his moils are not yet come up. Tuc. His moils"? now the bots, the spavin, and the glanders, and sonie dozen diseases more, light on him and his moils! What, ha' they the yellows, his moils, that they come no faster? or are they foundred ? ha? his oils ha' the staggers belike, ha they? Pyr. O no, sir: then your tongue might be suspected for one of his moils. Tuc. He owes me almost a talent, and he thinks to bear it away with his moils, does he? Sirrab, you nut-cracker, go your ways to him again, and tell him I must ha money, I: I cannot eat stones and turfs, say. What, will he clem me and my followers? Ask him an' he will clem me; do, go. He would have me fry my jerkin, would he? Away, setter, away. Yet, stay, my little tumbler'; this old boy shail supply now. I will not trouble him, I cannot be importunate, I; I cannot be impudent. Pyr. Alas, sir, no; you are the most maidenly blushing creature upon the earth. Tuc. Dost thou hear, my little six and fifty, or thereabouts? thou art not to learn the humours and tricks of that old bald cheater Time; thou hast not this chain for nothing. Men of worth have their chime ras, as well as other creatures; and they do see monsters sometimes, they do, they do, brave boy. Pyr. Better cheap than he shall see you, I warrant him. Tuc. Thou must let me have six, six drachms, I mean, old boy; thou shalt do it; I tell thee, old boy, thou shalt, and in private too, dost thou see? Go, walk off: there, there. Six is the sum. Thy son's a gallant spark, and must not be put out of a sudden. Come hither, Callimachus, thy father tells me thou art too poetical, boy; thou must not be so, thou must leave them, young novice, thou must; they are a sort of poor starv'd rascals, that are ever wrapt up in foul linen; and can boast of nothing but a lean visage, peering out of a seam Dispatch with Cothurnus there.] Cavalier Cothurnus. 4to. 1602. • His moils ?] The word then used for MULES. 7 Away, SETTER, away. Yet stay, my little TUMBLER.] Not one that shews postures with his body, but a particular kind of dogs, to whom our ancestors gave the name of tumbler, from his manner and motion in hunting. So likewise setter is a pointer, or setting-dog. Tent suit, the very emblems of beggary. No, dost hear, turn lawyer, thou shalt be my solicitor. 'Tis right, old boy, is't? Orid se. You were best tell it, captain. Tuc. No, fare thou well, mine honest horseman, and thou old bever. Pray thee, Roman, when thou comest to town, see me at my lodging, visit me sometimes; thou shalt be welcome, old boy. Do not balk me, good swaggerer. Jove keep thy chain from pawning; go thy ways, if thou lack money i'll lend thee some: I'll leave thee to thy horse now. Adieu. Ovid se. Farewell, good captain. Tuc. Boy, you can have but half a share now, boy. Ovid se. 'Tis a strange boldness that accompanies this fellow: Come. Ovid ju. I'll give attendance on you to your horse, sir, please you Grid se. No; keep your chamber, and fall to your studies; do so: the gods of Rome bless thee. Ocid ju. And give me stomach to digest this law. The. That should have followed sure, had I been O sacred Poesie, thou spirit of arts, The soul of science, and the queen of souls; What profane violence, almost sacrilege, Hath here been offered thy divinities! That thine own guiltless poverty should arm Prodigious ignorance to wound thee thus ! For thence is all their force of argument Drawn forth against thee; or from the abuse Of thy great powers in adult'rate brains: When, would men learn but to distinguish spirits, And set true difference'twixt those jaded wits their minds Tib. Ovid? SCENE III. Tibullus, Ovid. Ovid. Who's there? Come in. Ovid. Good morrow, dear Tibullus, welcome; sit down. Tib. Not I. What, so hard at it? Let's see, what's here? 'Numa in decimo-nono? Nay, I will see it Ovid. Prithee away Tib. "If thrice in field a man vanquish "his foe, "'Tis after in his choice to serve or no." How now, Ovid! Law cases in verse? Ovid. In troth, I know not; they run from my pen unwittingly, if they be verse. What's the news abroad? Tib. Off with this gown, I come to have thee walk. Ovid. No, good Tibullus, I'm not now Pray let me alone. [in case, Tib. How? not in case! [law. "Slight thou'rt in too much case, by all this Ovid. Troth, if I live, I will new dress In sprightly Poesie's habiliments. [the law, Tib. The hell thou wilt. What, turn law into verse? Thy father has school'd thee, I see. Here, Ovid. How! subscrib'd Julia! O my life, Celestial accents, how you ravish me! Ovid. That I must meet my Julia, the Heart, I've forgot; my passion so trans ports me. Tib. I'll save your pains: it is at Albius' house, O sacred Poesie, thou spirit of ROMAN arts.] The verse is too long by a foot; and there is an unmeaning epithet, which, when discarded, will reduce it to its right quantity. We are to read, "Thou spirit of arts!" How Roman came to be inserted, I know not. • Numa in decimo-nono?] These words are from the quarto of 1602. |