After him, Gossip Mirth, Gossip Tattle, Gossip Expectation, and Gossip Censure, four Gentlewomen, lady-like attired. Prologue. FOR your own sake, not ours— Mirth. "Come, Gossip, be not asham'd. "The play is The Staple of News, and you "are the Mistress and Lady of Tattle; let's "ha' your opinion of it. Do you hear, gen"tleman? what are you? gentleman-usher to "the play? Pray you help us to some stools "here." 66 Prologue. "Where? o' the stage, ladies ?" Mirth. "Yes, o' the stage; we are persons of quality, I assure you, and women "of fashion, and come to see and to be seen. My gossip Tattle here, and gossip Expec"tation, and my gossip Censure, and I am "Mirth, the daughter of Christmas, and "spirit of Shrovetide. They say, It's merry "when gossips meet; I hope your play will "be a merry one." Prologue. "Or you will "ladies. Bring a form here. make it such, But what will "the noblemen think, or the grave wits "here, to see you seated on the bench "thus?" Mirth. " Why, what should they think, "but they had inothers as we had; and "those mothers had gossips (if their children "were christened) as we are; and such as "had a longing to see plays, and sit upon "them, as we do, and arraign both them "and their poets?" Prologue. O, is that your purpose? Why, Mrs. Mirth and madam Tattle, en"joy your delights freely." Tattle. "Look your news be new and "fresh, Mr. Prologue, and untainted; I shall "find them else, if they be stale or fly"blown, quickly." Prologue. "We ask no favour from you; only we would entreat of madam Expec"tation" 66 Expectation. "What, Mr. Prologue ?" Prologue. "That your ladyship would expect no more than you understand." Expectation. "Sir, I can expect enough !” Prologue. "I fear, too much, lady, and "teach others to do the like." Expectation. "I can do that too, if I have cause." Prologue. "Cry you mercy," You never did wrong, but with just cause 1. "What's this, lady?" Mirth. " Curiosity, my lady Censure." Prologue. "O, Curiosity! you come to "see who wears the new suit to-day; whose "clothes are best penn'd, whatever the part "be; which actor has the best leg and foot; "what king plays without cuffs, and his queen without gloves; who rides post in stockings, and dances in boots." Censure. "" Yes, and which amorous "prince makes love in drink, or does over"act prodigiously in beaten sattin, and, ha"ving got the trick on't, will be monstrous "still, in despite of counsel "." Book-holder. "Mend your lights, gentle"6 men. Master Prologu, begin. [The Firemen enter to mend the lights. Tattle. " Ay me!" Expectation. "Who's that?" Prologue. "Nay, start not, ladies; these carry no fireworks to fright you, but a "torch i' their hands, to give light to the "business. The truth is, there are a set of "gamesters within, in travel of a thing call'd a play, and would fain be deliver'd of it: " and they have entreated me to be their "man-midwife, the prologue; for they are "like to have a hard labour on't." Tattle. "Then the poet has abus'd him"self, like an ass as he is." Mirth. "No, his actors will abuse him "enough, or I am deceiv'd. Yonder he is "within (I was i' the tiring-house a while to "see the actors drest) rolling himself up and "down like a tun i' the midst of 'em, and "" purges, never did vessel of wort or wine "work so! his sweating put me in mind of "a good Shroving dish, (and I believe, "would be taken up for a service of state somewhere, an't were known), a stew'd poet! he doth sit like an unbrac'd drum, "with one of his heads beaten out; for that "you must note, a poet hath two heads, as à drum has; one for marking, the other "repeating; and his repeating head is all to "pieces; they may gather it up i' the tiring 1 You never did wrong, but with just cause.] This is meant as a satire on a line in Shakspeare's Julius Cæsar, though it no where occurs as it is here represented. See the character of Shakspeare in the Discoveries. And having got the trick on't, will be monstrous still, in despite of counsel.] There can be no doubt but this is particular satire, and reflects on some actor then well known, though it is not easy at this time to say who it points at. SCENE I. Penny-boy jun. Lether-leg. His shoe-maker has pull'd on a new pair of boots; and he walks in his gown, waistcoat, and trowsers, expecting his taylor. P. jun. GRAMERCY, Lether-leg: get me the spurrier, An' thou hast fitted me. P. jun. Look to me, wit, and look to my wit, land, That is, look on me, and with all thine eyes, [He draws forth his watch, and sets it Three, four, five, six. Enough, enough, dear watch, [rest; Thy pulse hath beat enough. Now sleep and Would thou could'st make the time to do so too: [come, I'll wind thee up no more. The hour is So long expected! there, there, drop my wardship, [He throws off his gown. My pupillage and vassalage together; And, liberty, come throw thyself about me, In a rich suit, cloke, hat, and band, for now I'll sue out no man's livery, but mine own, I stand on my own feet, so much a year, Right round and sound, the lord of mine own ground. And (to rhime to it) threescore thousand pound! [min, Not come? not yet? tailor, thou art a ver[He goes to the door and looks. Worse than the same thou prosecut'st, and prick'st In subtil seam- (Go to, I say no more) Thus to retard my longings: on the day I do write man, to beat thee. One and twenty [wilt feel it, Since the clock struck, compleat! and thou Thou foolish animal! I could pity him, (An' I were not heartily angry with him now) For this one piece of folly he bears about him, To dare to tempt the fury of an heir T' above two thousand a-year; yet hope is custom! [breakWell, master Fashioner, there's some must A head, for this your breaking. Are you come, sir? SCENE II. Fashioner, Penny-boy, Thomas Barber, Fas. God give your worship joy. P. jun. What? of your staying? And leaving me to stalk here in my trowsers, Like a tame hern-sew for you? Fas. But I waited Below, till the clock struck. P. jun. Why, if you had come Before a quarter, would it so have hurt you, In reputation, to have waited here? Fas. No, but your worship might have pleaded nonage, If you had got 'em on, ere I could make P. jun. That jest condemn'd Has gain'd thy pardon, thou hadst liv'd [wrought To thine own hell else, never to have Stitch more for me, or any Penny-boy, I could have hinder'd thee: but now thou art mine For one-and-twenty years, or for three lives. Chuse which thou wilt, I'll make thee a copy-holder, [on. And thy first bill unquestion'd. Help me [He'says his suit. Fas. Presently, sir: I am bound unto your worship. P. jun. Thou shalt be, when I have seal'd thee a lease of my custom. Fas. Your worship's barber is without. Come in, Thom; set thy things upon the And spread thy cloths, lay all forth in pro- Tho. O sir, a Staple of News! [set up: Fas. An office, sir, a brave young office I had forgot to tell your worship. P. jun. For what? Tho. To enter all the news, sir, o' the time. [place Fas. And vent it as occasion serves! a Of huge commerce it will be! P. jun. Pray thee, peace; I cannot abide a talking taylor: let Thom (He is a barber) by his place relate it. What is't, an office, Thom? brought, And there be examin'd, and then registred, And so to be issu'd under the seal of the office, As Staple News; no other news be current. P. jun. 'Fore me, thou speak'st of a brave business, Thom. Fas. Nay, if you knew the brain that hatch'd it, sir,— P. jun. I know thee well enough; give him a loaf, Thom [else. Quiet his mouth, that oven will be venting Proceed [Cymbal Tho. He tells you true, sir; master Is master of the office, he projected it, He lies bere, i' the house; and the great rooms He has taken for the office, and set up too. But h' has brave wits under him Tho. Yes, four emissaries. [ries P. jun. Go on then, Speak all thou canst : methinks the ordinaShould help them much. Fas. Sir, they have ordinaries, And extraordinaries, as many changes And variations, as there are points i' the compass. Tho. But the four cardinal quarters. P. jun. Ay those, Thom Tho. The Court, sir, Paul's, Exchange, and Westminster-hall. P. jun. Who is the chief? which hath precedency? [Cymbal, Tho. The governor o' the Staple, master He is the chief; and after him the emis Tho. Or half a wit, some of them are halfTwo to a wit, there are a set of 'em. Then master Ambler, emissary Pauls, A fine pac'd gentleman, as you shall see, walk [Buz, The middle isle: and then my Froy Hans A Dutch-man; he's emissary Exchange. Fas. I had thought Mr. Burst the merchant had had it. Tho. No, He has a rupture, he has sprung a leak. Emissary Westminster's undispos'd of yet; Then the examiner, register, and two clerks, They manage all at home, and sort, and file, And seal the news, and issue them. P. jun. Thom, dear Thom, What may my means do for thee? ask and have it, [birth-day. I'd fain be doing some good. It is my And I'd do it betimes, I feel a grudging Of bounty, and I would not long lie fallow. I pray thee think and speak, or wish for something. [places Tho. I would I had but one o' the clerk's I' this News-office. P. jun. Thou shalt have it, Thom, If silver or gold will fetch it; what's the rate? At what is't set i' the market? Tho. Fifty pound, sir. P. jun. An 'twere an hundred, Thom, thou shalt not want it. [The taylor leaps and embraceth him. |