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" And not,

The sixth, two and thirty; the seventh, three Whose kirtle was't you gnaw'd too? mispound four;

tress Band's? Block bescumber The eight), six pound and eight; the ninth, And Wax's stockings ?” Who? “ did twelve pound sixteen ;

“ Statute's white suit, wi' the parchment And the tenth seven, five and twenty pound

lace there :

[out. Twelve shillings. This thou art fail'n from “ And Broker's sattin doublet?” All will by thy riot!

They had offence, offence enough to quit Should'st thou live seventy years, by spend

(shews it, ing sixpence

Appear, Block: fough! 'tis manifest; he Once i’ the seven : but in a day to waste it!

[Block is summoned the second time. There is a sum that number cannot reach ! Should he forswear't, make all the affidavits Out o' my house, thou pest of prodigality ! Against it, that he could afore the bench, Seed o' consumption ! hence: a wicked And twenty juries, he would be convinc'd. keeper

[penny, He bears an air about him doth confess it. Is oft worse than the prisoners. There's thy To prison again, close prison. Not you, * Four tokens for thee. Out, away. My

Lollard; dogs

[Block is remanded, and Lollard has the May yet be innocent and honest. If not, liberty of the house. I have an entrapping question or two more, You may enjoy the liberty of the house. To put unto 'em, a cross interrogatory, And yet there is a quirk come in my head, And I shail catch 'em. Loliard? Peace: For which I must commit you too, and [He calls forth Lollard, and examines him.

close. What whispering was that you had with Do not repine, it will be better for you.

Mortgage, (now. “Ila? When you last lick'd her feet? the truth

SCENE V. “ Did you smell she was going?" Put down that.

Enter the jeerers. “ Not to return;" You are silent ? good. Cymbal, Fitton, Shunfield, Almanack, Ala.

And when [forth ?" Consent. drigal, Penny-boy sen. Lick-finger. Leap'd you on Statute? “ As she went There was consent, as she was going forth.' Cym. This is enough to make the dogs 'Twould have been fitter at her coming

mad too : home,

[your tower : Let's in upon him. But you knew, “ that she would not ?" To P. sen. How now? what's the matter?

[He commits him again. Come you to force the prisoners ? make a You are cunning, are you? I will meet

rescue? (tell me,

Fit. We come to bail your clogs. Block, shew your face, leave your caresses, P. sen. They are not bailable.

(Calls forth Block, and examines him. They stand committed without bail or mainAnd tell me truly, what affronts do you

prise. know

Your bail cannot be taken. Were done Pecunia, that she left my house? Shun. Then the truth is, “ None,” say you so?

“ not that


We come to vex you.
know" or " will know?"

Alm. Jeer you.
I fear me, I shall find you an obstinate cur. Mad. Bait you rather.
Why did

fellow Lollard


this Cym. A baited usurer will be good flesh. morning?

Fät. And tender, we are told. 'Cause Broker kickt himn ?" Why did P. sen. Who is the butcher, Broker kick him?

Amongst you, that is come to cut my throat? " Because he pist against my lady's gown?"

Shun. You would die a calf's death fain, Wby, that was no affront? no? no distaste?

but 'tis an ox's “You knew o' none;" you're a dissem

Is meant you. bling tyke.

[Commits him. Fit. To be fairly knock'd o' the head. To your hole again, your Block-house. Shun. With a good jeer or two. Lollard, arise.

P. sen. And from your jaw-bone, [Lollard is called again. Don Assinigo! Where did you lift your leg up last? 'gainst Cym. Shunfield, a jeer, you have it. what?

[for mercy? Shun. 'I do confess, a swashing blow; but Are you struck dummerer now, and whine

Snarl, * Four Tokens for thee.] Four farthings. See Bartholo:new-Fair, act 3. not. 4.

• Shun. I do confess, a WASHING blow.] Washing, by the error of the press; whereas strashing is the true word. See Swash, in Mr. Lye's edition of Junius. And so Rosalind, in As you Like it,

We have a swashing and a martial outside,
“ As many other mannish cowards have.”-Act 1, scene 10.

your craft.

Is coming in upon you with his forces,
The gentleman that was the Canter.

Shun. Hence.
Fit. Away.
Cym. What is be?
Ålm. Stay not to ask questions.
Fit. He is a flame.
Shun. A furnace.
Alm. A consumption,
Kills where he goes. [They all run away.

Lic. See! the whole covey is scatter'd; 'Ware, 'ware the hawk. I love to see 'em


You that might play the third dog, for your

You ha' no money now?

Fit. No, nor no Mortgage.
Alm. Nor Band.
Alad. Nor Statute.
Cym. No, nor blushet Wax.
P. sen. Nor you no office, as I take it.

Shun. Cymbal,
A mighty jeer.

Fit. Pox'o' these true jests, I say.
Mad. He'll turn the better jeerer.

Alm. Let's upon him.
And if we cannot jeer him down in wit-

Mad. Let's do't in noise.
Shun. Content.
Mad. Charge, man o war.
Alm. Lay him aboard.
Shun. We'll give him a broad-side first.
Fit. Where is your vension now?
Cym. Your red-deer pies?
Shun. Wi’ your bak'd turkeys ?
Alm. And your partridges ?
Mad. Your pheasants and fat swans ?
P. sen. Like you, turn'd geese.
Mad. But such as will not keep your

Shun. You were wont to ha' your breams
Alm. And trouts sent in.
Cym. Fat carps and salmons.

Fit. I, and now and then
An'emblem o' yourself, an o'er-grown pike.

P. sen. You are a jack, sir.

Fit. You ha' made a shift To swallow twenty such poor jacks ere now. Alm. If he should come to feed upon poor John?

[this? Mad. Or turn poor Jack-a-lent after all Fit. Tut, he'll live like a grasshopperMart. On dew.

[own claws. Shun. Or like a bear, with licking his Cyın. I, if his dogs were away.

Ålm. He'll eat them first, While they are fat.

Fit, Faith, and when they are gone, Here's nothing to be seen beyond.

Cym. Except His kindred, spiders, natives o’the soil. Alm. Dust he wil ha' enough here, to

breed fleas. Alud. But by that time he'll ha' no blood

to rear 'ein. Shun. He will be as thin as a lanthorn,

we shall sce through hin.. Alm. And his gut colon tell bis intestina, P. sun. Rogues, rascals (baw waw.)

[His dogs burk. Fit. He calls his dogs to his aid. Alm. 0! they rise but at mention of his tripes.

[him. Cym. Let them alone, they do it not for Mad. They bark se defendendo.

Shun. Or for custon, As commonly curs do one for another. Lic. Arm, arm you, gentlemen jeerers,

the old Cauter

your wits,

SCENE VI. Penny-boy Canter, Penny-boy sen. Penny-boy

jun. Pecunia, Train. P. Ca. You see hy this amazement and distraction,

(frighted, What your companions were, a poor, afAnd guilty race of men, that dare to stand No breath of truth; but conscious to them

selves Of their no-wit, or honesty, ran routed At every panic terror themselves bred. Where else, as confident as sounding brass, Their tinkling captain, Cymbal, and the rest, Dare put on any visor, to deride The wretched, or with buffoon licence jest At whatsoe'er is serious, if not sacred. P. sen. Who's this? my brother! and

restor'd to life! [Penny-boy sen. acknowledgeth his elder

brother. P. Ca. Yes, and sent hither to restore

[anger If your short madness be not more than Conceived for your loss! which I return

you. See here, your Mortgage, Statule, Band,

and Wax, Without your Broker, come to abide with

you, And vindicate the prodigal from stealing Away the lady. Nay, Pecunia herself Is come to free him fairly, and discharge All ties, but those of love unto her person, To use her like a friend, not like a slave, Or like an idol. Superstition Doth violate the deity it worships, No less than scorn doth. And beliere it,

brother, The use of things is all, and not the store: Surfeit and fulness have kill'd more than

famine. The sparrow with his little plumage, flies, While the proud peacock, overcharg'd with pens,

(train, Is fain to sweep the ground with his grown And load of feathers.

P. sen. Wise and honour'd brother! None but a brother, and sent from the dead, As you are to me, could have altered me; I thank my destiny, that is so gracious. Are there ao pains, no penalties decreed

From whence you come, to us that smother P. sen. Next, I restore these servants to money

their lady,

[nance; In chests, and strangle her in bags ?

With freedom, heart of chear, and counteP. Ca. O, mighty,

It is their year and day of jubilee. Intolerable fines, and mulcts inipos'd !

Tra. We thank you, sir. (Of which I come to warn you) forfeitures

[Her Train thanks him. Of whole estates, if they be known and P. sen. And lastly, to my nephew taken!

I give my house, goods, lands, all but my P. sen. I thank you, brother, for the light

vices, you have given me ;

And those I go to cleanse ; kissing this lady, I will prevent 'em all. First, free my dogs, Whom I do give him too, and join their Lest what I ha' done to them (and against


(we thank 'em. law)

P. Ca. If the spectators will join theirs, Be a præmunire; for by magna charta

P. jun. And wish they may, as 1, enjoy They could not be committed as close pri

Pecunia. soners,

Pec. And so Pecunia herself doth wish, My learned council tells me here, my cook ;. That she may still be aid unto their uses, And yet he shew'd me the way first.

Not slave unto their pleasures, or a tyrant Lic. Who did ? I!

Over their fair desires; but teach them all. I trench the liberty o' the subjects ?

The golden mean; the prodigal how to P. Ca. Peace,

Jive; Picklock, your guest, that Stentor, hath The sordid and the covetous how to die : 'infected you“,

[collar. That, with sound mind; this, safe frugality. Whom I have safe enough in a wooden

Picklock, your guest, that senator, liath infected you.] So the edition of 1716: the old edition, as it stands in the text, “ that Stentor;" au appellation not improper for a hoisy, bawling lawyer.


“ Thus have you seen the maker's double Or some high wind of misconceit arise, scope,

“ To cause an alteration in our skies: "To profit and delight; wherein our hope “ If so, we are sorry, that have so mispent “ Is, though the clout we do not always hit', "Our time and tackle ; yet he's confident, " It will not be imputed to his wit : (start, “ And vows, the next fair day he'll have us A tree so try'd, and bent, as 'twill not

shoot “ Nor doth he often crack a string of art ; The same match o'er for him, if you'll Though there may other accidents as

come to't.” strange

(change, Happen, the weather of your looks may ... Though the clout we do not always hit.]. The metapor from archery: the clout is the white mark in the butts, which the archers aimed at. And so it is used by Shakspeare.

This Comedy was acted in the year 1605,

By the Kixg's MAJESTY's Servants,


THE was married young, to a virtuous gentlewoman, Sylly's daughter of the South, whose

, worth (tho' he truly enjoyed) he never could rightly value; but, as many green husbands (given over to their extravagant delights, and some peccant humours of their own), occasioned in his over-loving wite so deep a melancholy, by his leaving her in the time of her lying-in of her second daughter, she having brought him only two daughters, Frances and Lætitia : and (out of her hurt fancy) interpreting that to be a cause of her husband's coldness in affection, her not being blest with a son, took a resolution with herself, after her month's time, and thanksgiving rightly in the church, to quit hier home, with a vow never to return, till by reducing her lord, she could bring a wished happiness to the family.

He in the mean time returning, and hearing of this departure of his lady, began, tho' over-late, to resent the injury he had done her; and out of his cock-brain'd resolution, entered into as solemn a quest of her. Since when, neither of them had been heard of. But the eldest daughter Frances, by the title of Lady Frampul, enjoyed the estate, ber sister being lost young, and is the sole relict of the family.

ACT 1. Here begins our Comedy. This lady, being a brave, bountiful lady, and enjoying this free and plentiful estate, hath an ambitious disposition to be esteemed the mistress of many servants, but loves none. And hearing of a famous New-Inn, that is kept by a merry host, call's Good-stock, in Barnet, invites some lords and gentlemen to wait on her thither, as well to see the fashions of the place, as to make themselves merry, with the accidents on the by. It happens there is a melancholy gentleman, one master Lovel, hath been lodged there some days before in the Inn, who (unwilling to be seen) is surprized by the lady, and invited by Prudence, the lady's chambermaid, who is elected governess of the sports in the Inn for that day, and installd their sovereign. Lovel is persuaded by the host, and yields to the lady's invitation ; which concludes the first act: having reveal’d his quality before to the host.

In the Second ACT, Prudence and her lady express their anger conceiv'd at the taylor, who had promised to make Prudence a new suit, and bring it home, as on the eve, against this day. But he failing of his word, the lady had commanded a standard of her own best apparel to be brought down; and Prudence is so fitted. The lady being put in mind, that she is there alone without other company of women, borrows (by the advice of Pru) the host's son of the house, whom they dress with the host's consent, like a lady, and send out the coachman with the empty coach, as for a kinswoman of her ladyship’s, mistress Lætitia Sylly, to bear her company: who attended with his nurse, an old chare-woinan in the lun, drest oddly by the host's couvsel, is believed to be a lady of quality, and so receiv’d, entertain'd, and love made to her by the young lord Beaufort, &c. In the mean time the Fly of the Inn is discover'd to colonel Glorious, with the militia of the house, below the stairs, in the drawer, tapster, chamberlain, and hostler, inferior officers; with the coachman Trundle, Ferret, &c. And the preparation is made to the lady's design upon Lovel, his upon her, and the sovereign's upon

both. Here begins, at the Third ACT, the Epitasis, or business of the Play. Lovel, by the dexterity and wit of the sovereign of the sports Prudence, having two hours assign’d him of free colloquy, and love-making to his mistress, one after dinner, the other after supper ; the court being set, is deinanded by the lady Frampul, what love is? as doubting if there were any such power, or no.

To whom he, first by definition, and after by argument, answers; proring and describing the eflects of love, so vively, as she,

who had derided the name of love before, hearing his discourse, is now so taken both with the man and his matter, as she confesseth herself enamour'd of him, and, but for the ambition she hath to enjoy the other hour, had presently declared herself: which gives both him and the spectators occasion to think she yet dissembles, notwithstanding the payment of her kiss, which he celebrates. And the court dissolves, upon news brought, of a new lady, a newer coach, and a new coachman call’d Barnaby.

ACT IV. The house being put into a noise, with the rumour of this new lady, and there being drinking below in the court, the colonel sir Glorious, with Bat Burst a broken citizen, and Hodge Hume his champion; she falls into their hands, and being attended but with one footman, is uncivilly intreated by them, and a quarrel commenc'd, but is rescued by the valour of Lovel; which beheld by the lady Frampul, from the window, she is invited up for safety, where coming, and conducted by the host, her gown is first discovered to be the same with the whole suit, which was bespoken for Pru, and she herself, upon examina. tion, found to be Pinnacia Stuff, the taylor's wife, who was wont to be pre-occupied in all his customers' best clothes, by the footman her husband. They are both condemned and censur'd, she stript like a doxey, and sent home a-foot. In the interim, the second bour goes on, and the question, at suit of the lady Frampul, is changed from love to valour; which ended, he receives his second kiss, and, by the rigour of the sovereign, falls into a fit of inelancholy, worse, or more desperate than the first.

The Fifth and last ACT Is the catastrophe, or knitting up of all, where Fly brings word to the host of the lord Bcaufort's being married privately in the New-stable, to the supposed lady, his son ; which the host receives as an omen of 'mirth; but complains that Lovel is gone to bed melancholic, when Prudence appears drest in the new suit, applauded by her lady, and employed to retrieve Lovel. The host encounters them, with this relation of lord Beaufort's marriage, which is seconded by the lord Latimer, and all the servants of the house. In this while, lord Beaufort comes in, and professes it, calls for his bed and bride-bowl to be made ready; the host forbids both, shews whom he hath married, and discovers him to be his son, a boy. The lord bridegroom confounded, the nurse enters like a frantic bedlamite, cries out on Fly, says she is undone in her daughter, who is confessed to be the lord Frampul's child, sister to the other lady, the host to be their father, she his wife. He finding his children, bestows them one on Lovel, the other on the lord Beaufort, the Inn upon Fly, who had been a gypsy with him ; offers a portion with Prudence, for her wit, whieh is refused; and she taken by the lord Latimer to wife, for the crown of her virtue and goodness. And all are contented.

[blocks in formation]

With some short Characterism of the chief Actors. LOOD-STOCK, the host (play'd well) aliàs the Lord FRAMPUL. He pretends to inn, the sign of the Light-Heart in Barnet: is supposed to have one only son, but is found to have none, but two daughters, Frances, and Lætitia who was lost young, &c.

Lovel, a complete gentleman, a soldier and a scholar, is a melancholy guest in the Inn : first quarrel'd, after much honour'd and belov'd by the host. He is known to bave been page to the old lord Beaufort, follow'd him in the French wars, after a companion of his studies, and left guardian to his son. He is assisted in his love to the lady Frampul, by the host, and the chambermaid Prudence. Ile was one that acted well too.

Ferrer, who is called Stote and Vermin, is Lovel's servant, a fellow of a quick nimble wit, knows the manners and affections of people, and can make profitable and timely discoveries of them.

FRANK, suppos'd a boy, and the host's son, borrowed to be drest for a lady, and set up as a stale by Prudence, to catch Beaufort or Latimer, proves to be Lætitia, sister to Frances, and lord Frampul's younger daughter, stolen by-a beggar-woman, shorn, put into boy's apparel, sold to the host, and brought up by him as his son.

Nurse, a poor chare-woman in the Inn, with one eye, that tends the boy, is thought the Irish beggar that sold him, but is truly the lady Frampul, who left her home melan,

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