Thou mistak'st the house, go get thee from our gate. Dro. of E. What fool is made our porter?master stays in the street!

-My

Dro. of S. Let him walk from whence he came, then, left he catch cold in his feet.

Ant. of E. Who talks within there?-Ho, open the

door.

Dro. of S. When, Sir, can you tell?
Ant. of E. What can this mean?—

What art thou that keep'ft me out of my houfe?
Dro. of S. The porter for this time, Sir, and my name
is Dromio.

Ant. of E. Dromio!

Dro. of S. Even he, Sir.

Dro. of E. O villain,

Thou haft ftol'n both my office and my name-
Wou'd thou hadst the beating that belongs to 'em.
Ant. of E. Sure, I but dream!-If, as thou fay'st,
thou'rt Dromio,

Go fend thy mistress hither.

Dro. of S. Sir, my mistress is at prefent engaged with my mafter.

Ant. of E.

The devil!

Dro. of E.

Mafter, knock the door hard.

Dro. of S.

Let him knock till it ake.

Ant. of E.

[Antipholis knocks, and mufic plays within. What do I hear? Mufic!.

Dro. of S. Yes, you may dance, Sir-if you like the

tune.

Ant. of E. Whoe'er thou art, thou fhalt repent this infolence !

Adr. [within.] Who's that at the door that keeps all this noife?

Ant. of E. O, are you there, wife?—

Adr. Your wife, Sir knave! fince when, I pray? Hence, from the door; you have no business here. Ant. of E. Why, don't you know me?—

Adr. No, I thank Heav'n!-go where you're better welcome;

I have no fpeech for drunkards.

Dro. of S. No, I told you-here we are better employ'd. Ant. of E. This is beyond all patience !

Go

Go fetch me fomething, I'll break open the door. Dro. of S. Break any thing here, and I'll break your knave's pate..

Ant. of E. [mufic again.] Fetch me an iron crow directly..

Bal. Stay, Dromio-and have patience, Sir-
Herein you war against your reputation.-
Then let us to the tavern all to dinner;
And about evening come yourself alone,
To know the reason of this ftrange restraint.
Ant. of E. You have prevail'd in part.—
I know a wench of excellent difcourfe;
My wife, but I proteft without defert,
Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal;

To her will we to dinner.-Get you home, [To Angelo,
And fetch the ring-by this I know 'tis made-
Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine;

For there's the house-and there will I bestow it
Upon my pretty hostess;-good Sir, make hafte.
Ang. I'll meet you there in less than half an hour.
[Exit Angelo.
Ant. of E. Do fo. [Mufic again, and a loud laugh in the
houfe.] And for this jeft of my fair dame's,

I'll punish her with my neglect and fcorn.

[Exeunt Antipholis and Balthazar. Dro. of E. Oh that my mafter had unlock'd the door with an iron crow-then would I have pluck'd a crow with that knave within.

[Exit.

ACT H.

SCENE. A Chamber in the house of ANTIPHOLIS of E

PHESUS.

Enter ANTIPHOLIS of SYRACUSE.

URE all is witchcraft! I've been entertain'd

SUR

As lord and master of a heap of treasure..

Juft now a goldfmith prefs'd on me this ring,

Refufing payment till fome future time.

Some men wou'd think them bleft to be so courted,
As I have been, and by fo fair a lady;

But fomething in my bofom makes me fhun

Her

Her charms, and fhudder at her fond endearments.
Enter Dromio of Syracufe.

Why how now, Dromio, where run'ft thou fo faft?
Dro. of S. Do you know me, Sir? am I Dromio?
am I your man? am I myself?

Ant. of S.

Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.

Dro. of S. I am an afs, I am a woman's man-and befides myfelf.

Ant.of S. What woman's man, and how befides thyself? Dro. of S. Marry, Sir, befides myfelf, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me-one that will have me.

Ant. of S. What claim lays fhe to thee?

Dro. of S. Marry, Sir, fuch a claim as you would lay to your horfe-fhe would have me as a beaft :-not that I being a beast, she wou'd have me; but that the being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.

Ant. of S. What is she?

Dro. of S. A very reverend body-for fhe has a beard like a goat. I have but lean luck in the match, and yet fhe's a wondrous fat marriage?

Ant. of S. How doft thou mean a fat marriage?

Dro. of S. Marry, Sir, fhe's the kitchen-wench, and all grease. I know not what use to put her to but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant her rags and the tallow in them will burn a Lapland winter: if the lives till Doomfday, fhe'll blaze a week longer than the rest of the world.

Ant. of S. Ha! ha! ha! What complexion is fhe of? Dro. of S. Swart, like my fhoe-but her face nothing like fo clean kept.

Ant. of S. What's.her name?

Dro. of S. Nell, Sir;-but her name and three quarters (that is, an ell and three quarters) will not meafure her from hip to hip.

Ant. of S. Then the bears fome breadth?

Dre. of S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: the is fpherical like a globe. Sir, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me; call'd me Dromio, fwore I was affur'd to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the marks of my shoulder, the mole in my

neck,

neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amaz’d, ran from her as a witch.

Ant. of S. Go, hafte to the road,

And if the wind blow any way from shore,
I will not harbour in this town to-night.-
If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk till thou return to me.
Hafte, Dromio, hafte.

[Exit.

Dro. of S. Yes, Sir

As from a bear a man would run for life,

I fly the monster, that wou'd be my wife.
J
SCENE, The Street.

[Exit.

Enter Angelo, Second Merchant, and an Officer. 2 Mer. You know fince Pentecoft the fum is due; Therefore make prefent fatisfaction,

Or I'll attach you by this officer.

Ang. Even just the fum that I do owe to you
Is growing to me by Antipholis ;

Please you but walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.

Officer. That labour you may fave; fee where he comes. Enter Antipholis of Ephefus and Dromio of Ephefus. Ant. of E. While I go to the goldfmith's houfe, go thou and buy a rope's end; that will I bestow among my wife's confederates, for locking me out of doors to-day. [Exit Dromio.

Ant. of Efeeing Angelo.] A man is well holp up that trufts to you.

I promis'd me your prefence and the jewel.

Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the note of it, Which does amount to three odd ducats more

Than I ftand debted to this gentleman :

I

pray you fee him prefently difcharg'd;

For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.

Ant. of E. I am not furnish'd with the prefent money; Befides, I have fome bufinefs in the town:

Good fignior, take the ftranger to my house,
And with you take the ring, and bid my wife
Difburfe the fum on the receipt thereof;
Perchance, I will be there as foon as you.

Ang. Then you will bring the ring to her yourself?

Ant.

Ant. of E. No; bear it with you, left I come not time

enough.

Ang. Well, Sir, I will: have you the ring about you? Ant. of E. An if I have not, Sir, I hope you have, Or else you may return without your money.

Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, Sir, give me the ring; Both wind and tide ftay for this gentleman,

And I, to blame, have held him here too long.

Ant. of E. What now, you use this dalliance to excufe Your breach of promife to the Porcupine.

2 Mer. The hour fteals on; I pray you, Sir, difpatch. Ang. You hear how he importunes me; the ringAnt. of E. Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your

money.

Ang. You know I gave it you, not half an hour fince. Ant. of E. You gave me none; you wrong me much to fay fo.

Ang. You wrong me more, Sir, in denying it. Confider how it ftands upon my credit.

2 Mer. Well, officer, arreft him at my fuit. Offi. I do, and charge you in the duke's name to obey. Ang. This touches me in reputation!—

Either confent to pay the fum for me,

Or I'll attach you by this officer.

Ant. of E. Confent to pay for that I never had! Arreft me, foolish fellow, if thou darʼst.

Ang. Here is thy fee-arreft him, officer.

I wou'd not spare my brother in this cafe.
Offi. I do arreft you, Sir; you hear the fuit.
Ant. of E. I do obey thee till I give thee bail;-
But, firrah, you fhall buy this sport as dear
As all the metal in your fhop will answer.
Ang. Sir, Sir, I fhall have law in Ephefus,
your
notorious fhame, I doubt it not.

To

[Exeunt Angelo and Merchant.

Enter Dromio of Syracufe.

Dro. of S. Mafter, there is a bark of Epidamnum, That ftays but for her owner and yourself,

Then, Sir, the bears away.

Ant. of E. How now! the flave is either drunk or mad. What fhip of Epidamnum ftays for me?

Dro. of S. A fhip you fent me to, to hire waftage.

Ant.