Per. You see his end. Sir P. Ay, is 't not good? Volp. "For when a humid flux, or catarrh, by the mutability of air, falls from your head into an arm or shoulder, or any other part; take you a ducket, or your chequin of gold, and [110 apply to the place affected: see what good effect it can work. No, no, 't is this blessed unguento, this rare extraction, that hath only power to disperse all malignant humours, that proceed either of hot, cold, moist, or windy

causes

116

Pray you observe.

Volp. "To fortify the most indigest and crude stomach, ay, were it of one that, through extreme weakness, vomited blood, applying only [120 a warm napkin to the place, after the unction and fricace; - for the vertigine in the head, putting but a drop into your nostrils, likewise behind the ears; a most sovereign and ap- [124 prov'd remedy; the mal caduco, cramps, convulsions, paralyses, epilepsies, tremorcordia, retir'd nerves, ill vapours of the spleen, stoppings of the liver, the stone, the strangury, hernia ventosa, iliaca passio;5 stops a dysenteria immediately; easeth the torsion of the small [130 guts; and cures melancholia hypocondriaca, being taken and appli'd, according to my printed receipt. (Pointing to his bill and his glass.) For this is the physician, this the medicine; this counsels, this cures; this gives the direction, [135 this works the effect; and, in sum, both together may be term'd an abstract of the theoric and practic in the Aesculapian art. 'T will cost you eight crowns. And, -Zan Fritada, prithee sing a verse extempore in honour of it." Sir P. How do you like him, sir? Per.

140

Most strangely, I! Sir P. Is not his language rare ? Per.

But alchemy,

I never heard the like; or Broughton's books.

Per. All this, yet, will not do; eight crowns is high.

Volp. "No more. — Gentlemen, if I had but time to discourse to you the miraculous effects of this my oil, surnam'd Oglio del Scoto; with the countless catalogue of those I have [100 cur'd of th' aforesaid, and many more diseases; the patents and privileges of all the princes and commonwealths of Christendom; or but the depositions of those that appear'd on my part, before the signiory of the Sanita and most [165 learned College of Physicians; where I was authoris'd, upon notice taken of the admirable virtues of my medicaments, and mine own excellency in matter of rare and unknown secrets, not only to disperse them publicly in this [10 famous city, but in all the territories, that hap pily joy under the government of the most pious and magnificent states of Italy. But may some other gallant fellow say, 'O, there be divers that make profession to have as good, [1 and as experimented receipts as yours:' indeed, very many have assay'd, like apes, in imitation of that, which is really and essentially in me, to make of this oil; bestow'd great cost in [17 furnaces, stills, alembics, continual fires, and preparation of the ingredients (as indeed there goes to it six hundred several simples, besides some quantity of human fat, for the conglutination, which we buy of the anatomists), but when these practitioners come to the last decoe- [185 tion, blow, blow, puff, puff, and all flies in fumo N ha, ha, ha! Poor wretches! I rather pity their folly and indiscretion, than their loss of time and money; for those may be recover'd by industry: but to be a fool born, is a disease incurable.

191

"For myself, I always from my youth have endeavour'd to get the rarest secrets, and book them, either in exchange, or for money; I spar'd nor cost nor labour, where anything (195 was worthy to be learned. And, gentlemen, honourable gentlemen, I will undertake, by virtue of chymical art, out of the honourable hat that covers your head, to extract the four elements; that is to say, the fire, air, water, [200 and earth, and return you your felt without burn or stain. For, whilst others have been at the ballo, 12 I have been at my book; and am now past the craggy paths of study, and come to the flowery plains of honour and reputation." 205 Sir P. I do assure you, sir, that is his aim. Volp. "But to our price

Per. And that withal, Sir Pol. Volp. "You all know, honourable gentlemen, I never valu'd this ampulla, or vial, at less than eight crowns; but for this time, I am con- [210 tent to be depriv'd of it for six; six crowns is the price, and less in courtesy I know you cannot offer me; take it or leave it, howsoever,

• Unknown.

10 In the hilt of which he carried his familiar.

11 In smoke.

12 Ball; dancing.

both it and I am at your service. I ask you not as the value of the thing, for then I should de- [215 mand of you a thousand crowns, so the Cardinals Montalto, Fernese, the great Duke of Tuseany, my gossip, with divers other princes, have given me; but I despise money. Only to show my affection to you, honourable gentle-[220 men, and your illustrious State here, I have neglected the messages of these princes, mine own offices, fram'd my journey hither, only to present you with the fruits of my travels. [22 Tune your voices once more to the touch of your instruments, and give the honourable assembly some delightful recreation."

Per. What monstrous and most painful cir

Volp. "Well, I am in a humour at this time to make a present of the small quantity my coffer contains; to the rich in courtesy, and (245 to the poor for God's sake. Wherefore now mark: I ask'd you six crowns; and six crowns, at other times, you have paid me; you shall not give me six crowns, nor five, nor four, nor three, nor two, nor one; nor half a ducat; no, nor a [250 moccinigo. Sixpence it will cost you, or six hundred pound-expect no lower price, for, by the banner of my front, I will not bate a bagatine,"

that I will have, only, a pledge of your loves, to carry something from amongst you, to 255 show I am not contemn'd by you. Therefore, now, toss your handkerchiefs, cheerfully, cheerfully; and be advertis'd, that the first heroic spirit that deigns to grace me with a handkerchief, I will give it a little remembrance of [260 something beside, shall please it better than if I had presented it with a double pistolet." 7 Per. Will you be that heroic spark, Sir Pol? CELIA, at the window, throws down her handkerchief.

O, see! the windore has prevented 8 you.

Volp. "Lady, I kiss your bounty; and for [265 this timely grace you have done your poor Scoto of Mantua, I will return you, over and above my oil, a secret of that high and inestimable nature, shall make you for ever enamour'd on that minute, wherein your eye first descended [270 on so mean, yet not altogether to be despis'd, an object. Here is a powder conceal'd in this paper, of which, if I should speak to the worth, nine thousand volumes were but as one page, that page as a line, that line as a word; [276 so short is this pilgrimage of man (which some call life) to the expressing of it. Would I reflect on the price? Why, the whole world is but as an empire, that empire as a province, that province as a bank, that bank as a private purse [280 to the purchase of it. I will only tell you; it is the powder that made Venus a goddess (given her by Apollo), that kept her perpetually young, clear'd her wrinkles, firm'd her gums, fill'd her skin, colour'd her hair; from her de- [285 riv'd to Helen, and at the sack of Troy unfortunately lost: till now, in this our age, it was as happily recover'd, by a studious antiquary, out of some ruins of Asia, who sent a moiety of it to the court of France (but much [200 sophisticated), wherewith the ladies there now colour their hair. The rest, at this present, remains with me; extracted to a quintessence: so that, wherever it but touches, in youth it perpetually preserves, in age restores the com- [25 plexion; seats your teeth, did they dance like virginal jacks, firm as a wall: makes them white as ivory, that were black as

SCENE III.10

[To them enter] CORVINO.

Cor. Spite o' the devil, and my shame! come down here;

Come down!-No house but mine to make your scene?

Signior Flaminio, will you down, sir? down?
What, is my wife your Franciscina, sir?
No windows on the whole Piazza, here,
To make your properties, but mine? but mine?
Beats away [VOLPONE, NANO, etc.]
Heart! ere to-morrow I shall be new christen'd,
And called the Pantalone di Besogniosi,11
About the town.
Per.

What should this mean, Sir Pol? Sir P. Some trick of state, believe it; I will home.

Per. It may be some design on yon.

Sir P.

10

I know not.

It is your best, sir.

Sir P. This three weeks, all my advices, all

my letters.

They have been intercepted.

Per.

Best have a care. Sir P.

Indeed, sir!

Nay, so I will.

• Small pieces of wood to which were attached the quills which struck the strings of the virginal.

10 The same.

u Ital. "Fool of the Beggars."

SCENE V.8

[Enter] CORVINO, [with his sword in his hand, dragging in CELIA.

Corv. Death of mine honour, with the city's fool!

A juggling, tooth-drawing, prating mountebank!

And at a public windore! where, whilst he,
With his strain'd action, and his dole of faces,4
To his drug-lecture draws your itching ears,
A crew of old, unmarri'd, noted lechers,
Stood leering up like satyrs: and you smile
Most graciously, and fan your favours forth,
To give your hot spectators satisfaction!
What, was your mountbank their call? their
whistle?

10

He shall come home, and minister unto you
The fricace for the mother.5 Or, let me see,
I think you'd rather mount; would you not
mount?

Why, if you'll mount, you may; yes, truly, you may!

And so you may be seen, down to the foot. 20 Get you a cittern, Lady Vanity,

And be a dealer with the virtuous man; Make one. I'll but protest myself a cuckold, And save your dowry. I'm a Dutchman, I! For if you thought me an Italian,

You would be damn'd ere you did this, you

whore !

Thou 'dst tremble to imagine that the murder
Of father, mother, brother, all thy race.
Should fellow, as the subject of my justice.
Cel. Good sir, have patience.

Corv.

6

35

What couldst thou propose so Less to thyself, than in this heat of wrath, And stung with my dishonour, I should strike This steel into thee, with as many stabs As thou wert gaz'd upon with goatish eyes? Cel. Alas, sir, be appeas'd! I could not think My being at the windore should more now Move your impatience than at other times. Corv. No! not to seek and entertain a parley With a known knave, before a multitude! You were an actor with your handkerchief, Which he most sweetly kist in the receipt, And might, no doubt, return it with a letter, And point the place where you might meet; your sister's,

40

Your mother's, or your aunt's might serve the

75

As well command my blood and my affections
As this dull doctor? In the point of honour,
The cases are all one of wife and daughter.
Mos. [Aside.] I hear him coming.1
Corv.
She shall do 't: 't is done.
Slight! if this doctor, who is not engag'd,
Unless 't be for his counsel, which is nothing,
Offer his daughter, what should I, that am
So deeply in? I will prevent him: Wretch !
Covetous wretch ! - Mosca, I have determin'd.
Mos. How, sir?

[wot of 80

Corv. We'll make all sure. The party you Shall be mine own wife, Mosca.

Mos.

Sir, the thing,

But that I would not seem to counsel you,
I should have motion'd2 to you, at the first:
And make your count, you have cut all their

throats.+

Ha! by this light I talk'd so ba to try thee:
Methinks, the lightness of the occasion
Should have confirm'd thee. Come, I am not
jealous.

Cel. No? Corv.

Faith I am not, I, nor never was;

It is a poor unprofitable humour.

Do not I know, if women have a will,
They'll do 'gainst all the watches o' the

world,

And that the fiercest spies are tam'd with gold? Tut, I am confident in thee, thou shalt see't; u And see I'll give thee cause too, to believe it. Come kiss me. Go, and make thee ready straight,

In all thy best attire, thy choicest jewels, Put 'em all on, and, with 'em, thy best looks:

We are invited to a solemn feast,

At old Volpone's, where it shall appear
How far I am free from jealousy or fear.

ACT III

SCENE 1.6

[Enter] MOSCA.

15

[Exeunt.]

Mos. I fear I shall begin to grow in love With my dear self, and my most prosp'rous

parts,

They do so spring and burgeon; I can feel
A whimsy i my blood: I know not how,
Success hath made me wanton. I could skip
Out of my skin now, like a subtle snake,
I am so limber. O! your parasite

Is a most precious thing, dropt from above,
Not bred 'mongst clods and clodpoles, here on
earth.

I muse, the mystery was not made a science, 10
It is so liberally profest! Almost

All the wise world is little else, in nature,
But parasites or sub-parasites. And yet

I mean not those that have your bare town-art,
To know who's fit to feed them; have no

No family, no care, and therefore mould
Tales for men's ears, to bait that sense; or get
Kitchen-invention, and some stale receipts
To please the belly, and the groin ; nor those,
With their court dog-tricks, that can fawn and

fleer, Make their revenue out of legs and faces, Echo my lord, and lick away a moth: But your fine elegant rascal, that can rise And stoop, almost together, like an arrow; Shoot through the air as nimbly as a star; Turn short as doth a swallow; and be here, And there, and here, and yonder, all at once; Present to any humour, all occasion; And change a visor swifter than a thought! → This is the creature had the art born with him; Toils not to learn it, but doth practise it Out of most excellent nature: and such sparks Are the true parasites, others but their zanies. • A street.