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One must not give him his death, however, interrupted my father. , By no means, said iny mother : and so the dialogue stood ftill again.

I am resolved, however, quoth my father, break. ing Glence a fourth time, he shall have no pockets in them.

-There is no occasion for any, said my mother. I mean in his coat and waistcoat,-cried my father,

I mean so'too,-replied my mother.

Though if he gets a gig or topPoor souls! it is a crown and a sceptre, to them,--they should have where to secure it.

Order it as you please, Mr. Shandy, replied my mother.

-But don't you think it right? added my fa. ther, pressing the point home to her.

Perfectly, said my mother, if it pleases you, Mr. Sbandy..

There's for you! cried my father, lofing temper. -Pleafes me !

You never will distinguish, Mrs. Shandy, nor shall I ever teach you to do it, betwixt a point of pleasure and a point of convenience. -This was on the Sunday night ;and further this chapter fayeth not.

5

T. SHANDY, VOL. II!, CHAP. 60.

BEAUTY.

BEAUTY has fo many charms, one knows not

how to speak against it ; and when it happens that a graceful figure is the habitation of a virtuous foul, when the beauty of the face speaks out the modesty and humility of the mind, and the justness of the proportion raises our thoughts up to the heart and wif. dom of the great Creator, something may be allowed it,--and something to the embellishments which set it off;—and yet, when the whole apology is read, -it will be found at last, that Beauty, like Truth, never is so glorious as when it goes the plainest.

SERM. XXIV. P. 187.

WISDOM.

L

ESSONS of Wisdom have never fuch power over

us, as when they are wrought into the heart through the ground work of a story which engages the pasions : is it that we are like iron, and must first he heated before we can be wrought upon ? or, is the

heart so in love with deceit, that where a true report will not reach it, we must cheat it with a fable, in order to come at the truth?

SERM. XX. P. 93.

HUNGER.

F all the terrors of nature, that of one day of

other dying by hunger, is the greatest ; and it is wisely wove into our frame to awaken man to industry, and call forth his talents; and though we seem to go on carelessly, fporting with it as we do with other terrors,--yet, he that fees this enemy fairly, and in his most frightful shape, will need no long remonstrance to make him turn out of the way to avoid him.

SERM. XX. P. 98.

DISTRESS.

NOTHING so powerfully calls home the mind

as distress : the tense fibre then relaxes, the foul retires to 'itself,—its pensive and susceptible of

right impreffions : If we have a friend, 'tis then we think of him; if a benefactor, at that moment all his kindnesses press upon our mind.

SERM. XX. P. 97

MR. SHANDY'S LETTER TO HIS BROTHER

ON LOVE.

WHAT

My dear brother Toby,
THAT I am going to say to thee, is upon the

nature of women, and of love-making to them; and perhaps it is as well for thee--though not so well for me that thou haft occafion for a letter of instructions upon that head, and that I am able to write it to thee.

Had it been the good pleasure of him who disposes of our lots-- and thou no sufferer by the knowledge, I had been well content that thou shouldst have dipp'd the pen this moment into the ink, instead of myself; but that not being the cafe

-Mrs. Shandy being now clote beside me, preparing for bed -I have thrown together without order, and just as they have come into my mind, such hints and docu. ments as I deem may be of use to thee; intending in this to give thee a token of my love ; not doubting,

my dear Toby, of the manner in which it will be acm cepted.

In the first place, with regard to all which concerns, religion in the affair--though I perceive, from a glow in my cheek, that I blush as I begin to speak to thee upon the subject, as well knowing, notwithstanding thy unaffected secrecy, how few of its offices thou neglecteit-yet I would remind thee of one (dur: ing the continuance of thy courtship) in a particular manner, which I would not have omitted : and that is, never to go forth upon the enterprize, whether it be in the morning or the afternoon, without first recommending thyself to the protection of Alinighty God, that he may defend thee from the evil one.

Slave the whole top of thy crown clean once at least every four or five days, but oftener if conve. nient; left in taking off thy wig before her, through absence of mind, the should be able to discover how much has been cut away by Time-how much by Trim.

'Twere better to keep ideas of baldness out of her fancy.

Always carry it in thy mind, and act upon it, as a sure maxim, Toly

That women are timid:" And 'is well they are else there would be no dealing with them.

Let not thy breeches be too tight, or hang too loose about-thy thighs, like the trunk hose of our ancestors.

-Ajust medium prevents all conclusions.

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