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النشر الإلكتروني

Whatever thou haft to say, be it more or lefs, forget not to utter it in a low, soft tone of voice.

and whatever approaches it, night fecrecy into the brain. canft help it, never throw poker.

Silence,

weaves dreams of mid

For this caufe, if thou down the tongs and

Avoid all kinds of pleasantry and facetioufnefs in thy difcourfe with her, and do whatever lies in thy power at the fame time, to keep from her all books and writings which tend thereto : there are fome devotional tracts, which if thou canft entice her to read over-it will be well: but fuffer her not to look at Rabelais, or Scarron, or Don Quixote.

-They are all books which excite laughter; and thou knoweft, dear Toby, that there is no passion fo ferious as luft.

Stick a pin in the bofom of thy fhirt, before thou enterest her parlour.

And if thou art permitted to fit upon the fame fopha with her, and the gives thee occafion to lay thy hand upon her's-beware of taking it-thou canst not lay thy hand on her's, but he will feel the temper of thine. Leave that and as many other things as thou can'ft, quite undetermined; by fo doing, thou wilt have her curiofity on thy fide; and if she is not conquered by that, and thy Asse continues ftill kicking, which there is great reafon to fuppofe-Thou must begin, with first lofing a few ounces of blood below the ears, according to the practice of the antient

Scythians, who cured the most intemperate fits of the appetite by that means.

Avicenna, after this, is for having the part anointed with the fyrup of hellebore, ufing proper evacuations and purgesand, I believe, rightly. But thou must eat little or no goat's flefli, nor red deer-nor even foal's flesh by any means; and carefully abstain

that is, as much as thou can'ft, from peacocks, cranes, coots, didappers, and water-hens.

As for thy drink,-I need not tell thee, it must be the infufion VERVAIN, and the herb HANEA, of which Etian relates fuch effects-but if thy stomach palls with it-difcontinue it from time to time, taking cucumbers, melons, purflane, water-lilies, woodbine, and lettuce, in the stead of them.

There is nothing further for thee, which occurs to me at prefent,

-Unless the breaking out of a fresh war- -So wishing every thing, dear Toby, for the best, I reft thy affectionate brother,

WALTER SHANDY.

IMPOSTURE.

WHAT a problematic fet of creatures does fimu

lation make us! who would divine that

that anxiety and concern, so visible in the airs of one

half of that great affembly, fhould arife from nothing else, but that the other half of it may think them to be men of confequence, penetration, parts, and conduct?-What a noise amongst the claimants about it! Behold Humility, out of mere pride;-and Honefty, almost out of knavery :-Chastity never once in harm's way and Courage, like a Spanish foldier upon an Italian stage—a bladder full of wind.

Hark! that, the found of that trumpet,-let not my foldier run,it is fome good Chriftian giving. alms. O, PITY! thou gentleft of human paffions! foft and tender are thy notes, and ill accord they with fo loud an inftrument.

Thus fomething jars, and will for ever jar in these cafes.

Imposture is all diffonance, let what mafter foever of it undertake the part: let him harmonise and modulate it as he may, one tone will contradict another; and whilst we have ears to hear, we shall distinguish it: 'tis truth only which is confiftent, and ever in harmony with itself: it fits upon our lips, like the natural notes of fome melodies, ready to drop out, whether we will or no;-it racks no invention to let our selves alone, and needs fear no critic, to have the fame excellency in the heart, which appears in the action. SERMON XVII. p. 48,

CONTENTMENT.

HERE is fcarce any lot fo low, but there is fome

TH

thing in it to fatisfy the man whom it has be fallen; Providence having so ordered things, that in every man's cup, how bitter foever, there are some cordial drops-fome good circumstances, which, if wifely extracted, are fufficient for the purpofe he wants them that is, to make him contented, and if not happy, at least resigned.

SERMON XY. P. 19.

UNWILLI

EVILS.

NWILLINGLY does the mind digeft the evils prepared for it by others;-for those we prepare ourselves, we eat but the fruit which we have planted and watered :—a flattered fortune,-a fhattered frame, fo we have but the fatisfaction of shattering them ourselves, pafs naturally enough into the habit, and by the ease with which they are both done, they fave the fpectator a world of pity; but for those, like Jacob's, brought upon him by the hands from which he looked for all his comforts,-the avarice of a parent, the unkindness of a relation, the ingra. titude of a child, they are evils which leave a scar;

besides, as they hang over the heads of all, and therefore may fall upon any every looker-on has an interest in the tragedy;-but then we are apt to interest ourselves no otherwife, than merely as the incidents themfelves ftrike our paffions, without carrying the lesson further:-in a word-we realize nothing:-we figh-we wipe away the tear, and there ends the ftory of mifery, and the moral with it.

SERMON XXII. P. 134.

THE DANCE.

T was in the road betwixt Nifmes and Lunel, where

IT

there is the beft Mufcatto wine in all France, and which, by the bye, belongs to the honeft canons of MONTPELLIER,-and foul befal the man who has drank it at their table, who grudges them a drop of it.

-The fun was fet-they had done their work, the nymphs had tied up their hair afresh-and the fwains were preparing for a caroufalny mule made a dead point-Tis the fife and tabourin, faid I-I'm frightened to death, quoth he―They are running at the ring of pleafure, faid I, giving him a prick by faint Boogar, and all the faints at the backfide of the door of purgatory, faid he-making

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