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Whatever thou hast to say, be it more or lefs, forget not to utter it in a low, soft tone of voice. Silence, and whatever. approaches it, weaves dreams of midnight secrecy into the brain. For this cause, if thou canft help it, never throw down the tongs and poker.

Avoid all kinds of pleasantry and facetiousness in thy discourse with her, and do whatever lies in thy power at the same time, to keep from her all books and writings which tend thereto : there are fome devotional tracts, which if thou canst entice her to read over-it will be well : but suffer her not to look at Rabelair, or Scarron, or Don Quixote,

- They are all books which excite laughter ; and thou knowest, dear Toby, that there is no passion fo ferious as luft.

Stick a pin in the bosom of thy shirt, before thou enterest her parlour.

And if thou art permitted to fit upon the fame fopha with her, and she gives thee occasion to lay thy hand upon her's--beware of taking it-thou canst not lay thy hand on her's, but she will feel the temper of thine. Leave that and as many other things as thou can'st, quite undetermined; by so doing, thou wilt have her curiosity on thy side; and if she is not conquered by that, and thy Ass e continues still kicking,

which there is great reason to suppose-Thou must begin, with first losing a few ounces of blood below the ears, according to the practice of the antient

nor

Styrbians, who cured the most intemperate fits of the appetite by that means.

Avicenna, after this, is for having the part anointed with the syrup of hellebore, using proper evacuations and purges-and, I believe, rightly. But thou must eat little or no goat's Alefli, nor red deereven foal's flesh by any means; and carefully abstain

that is, as much as thou can'ft, from peacocks, cranes, coots, didappers, and water-hens.

As for thy drink, I need not tell thee, it must be the infusion VERVAIN, and the herb HANRA, of which Ætian relates such effects--but if thy stomach palls with it-discontinue it from time to time, taking cucumbers, melons, purslane, water-lilies, woodbine, and lettuce, in the stead of them.

There is nothing further for thee, which occurs to me at present. -Unless the breaking out of a fresh war

So withing every thing, dear Toby, for the best, I reft thy affectionate brother,

WALTER SHANDY.

IMPOSTURE

WHAT

THAT a problematic set of creatures does fimu

lation make us ! who would divine that that anxiety and concern, so visible in the airs of one

) half of that great affembly, should arise from nothing else, but that the other half of it may think them to be men of consequence, penetration, parts, and conduct? What a noise amongst the claimants about it! Behold Humility, out of mere pride ;--and Honesty, almost out of knavery :-Chastity never once in harni's way: and Courage, like a Spanish soldier upon an Italian stage--a bladder full of wind.

Hark! that, the sound of that trumpet,-let not my foldier run,-it is some good Christian giving alms. , Pity! thou gentlest of human passions ! soft and tender are thy notes, and ill accord they with fo loud an instrument.

Thus something jars, and will for ever jar in these cases.

Impofture is all diffonance, let what master foever of it undertake the part: let him harmonise and modulate it as he may, one tone will contradict another ; and whilst we have ears to hear, we shall distinguish it : 'tis truth only which is confiftent, and ever in harmony with itself: it fits upon our lips, like the natural notes of some melodies, ready to drop out, whether we will or no;--it racks no invention to let our. selves alone, and needs fear no critic, to have the same excellency in the heart, which appears in the action.

SERMON XVII. P. 48.

CONTENTMENT.

THE

THERE is scarce any lot so low, but there is some

thing in it to satisfy the man whom it has be. fallen; Providence having so ordered things, that in every man's cup, how bitter soever, there are some cordial drops--some good circumstances, which, if wisely extracted, are sufficient for the purpose he wants them-that is, to make him contented, and if not hap.py, at least resigned.

SERMON XY. P. 10.

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UNWILLINGLY does the mind digeft the evils

prepared for it by others ;-for those we prepare ourselves,—we eat but the fruit which we have planted and watered :-a fhattered fortune,-a fhattered frame, so we have but the satisfaction of shattering them ourselves, pass naturally enough into the habit, and by the ease with which they are both done, they fave the spectator a world of pity: but for those, like Jacob's, brought upon him by the hands from which he looked for all his comforts,--the avarice of a parent,--the unkindness of a relation, the ingra. titude of a child, they are evils which leave a scar ;

besides, as they hang over the heads of all, and there fore may fall opon any !--every looker-on has an interest in the tragedy ;--but then we are apt to interest ourselves no otherwise, than merely as the incidents themselves strike our passions, without carrying the leffon further in a word-we realize nothing:--We figh-we wipe away the tear,— and there ends the story of misery, and the moral with it.

SERMON XXII. P. 134.

THE DANCE.

IT

T was in the road betwixt Nismes and Lunel, where

there is the best Muscatto wine in all France, and which, by the bye, belongs to the honest canons of MONTPELLIER,--and foul befal the man who has drank it at their table, who grudges them a drop of it.

The sun was set--they had done their work, the nymphs had tied up their hair afref--and the swains were preparing for a carousaly mule made a dead point-Tis the fife and tabourin, said I-I'm friglitened to death, quoth heThey are running at the ring nf pleasure, said I, giving him a prick-by faint Boogar, and all the saints at the back side of the door of purgatory, said he making

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