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What methods he try'd, and what arts to prevail ; That your Honour would please, at this dangerous All these, were they told, would but burden my crisis, tale
To take to your bosom a few private vices, In short, all affairs were lo happily carry'd, By which your petitioners haply might thrive, That hardly fix weeks pass'd away till they marty'd. And keep both themselves and Contention alive.
But Envy grew fick when the story the heard, In compassion, good Sir, give them something to Violette was the girl that of all the most fear'd;
say, She knew her good-humour, her beauty and sweet- And our Honour's petitioners ever shall pray.
ness, Her ease and compliance, her taste and her neatness ; From these she was sure that her man could not roam,
TR I A L And must rise on the stage, from contentment at
home : So on she went hifling, and inwardly curs d her,
SARAH **, ALIAS SLIM SAL, And Garrick next season will certainly burst her.
TO THE RIGHT HONOURABLE
HENRY PELHA M,
'HE pris’ner was at large indicted,
For that by thirst of gain excited,
One day in July last, at tea,
And in the house of Mrs. P.
-From the left breast of E. M. gent.
With base felonious intent,
WORSHIP FUL COMPANY
Did then and there a heart with strings,
Reft, quiet, peace, and other things,
POETS AND NEWS-WRITERS.
Steal, rob and plunder; and all them
The chattels of the said E. M.
The prosecutor swore, last May
HAT your Honour's petitioners (dealers in He left his friends in town, and went
(The month he knew, but not the day)
Upon a visit down in Kent: And writers of scandal, for mending the times)
That staying there a month or two, By loffes in business, and England's well-doing,
He spent his time as others do,
Are funk in their credit, and verging on ruin.
In riding, walking, fishing, swimming ;
That these their misfortunes, they humbly con-
But being much inclin'd to women,
And young and wild, and no great reasoner,
Arise not from dulness, as some folks believe,
But from rubs in their way which your Honour has He own'd, 'twas rumour'd in those parts
He got acquainted with the prisoner.
That the 'ad a trick of stealing hearts, And want of materials to carry on trade.
And from fifteen to twenty-two, That they always had form’d high conceits of Had made the devil and all to do: their use,
But Mr. W. the vicar, And meant their last breath should go out in abuse ;
(And no man brews you better liquor) But now (and they speak it with sorrow and tears)
Spoke of her thefts as tricks of youth,
Since your Honour has sat at the helm of affairs,
The frolicks of a girl forsooth:
No party will join them, no faction invite
To heed what they say, or to read what they write; He said; for she was twenty-four.
Things now were on another score,
Sedition, and Tumult, and Discord are fled,
However, to make matters short,
And Slander scarce ventures to lift up her head
And not to trespass on the court,
In short, public business is so carry'd on,
That their country is fav'd, and the patriots undone. And thus it was.
The lady was discover'd soon,
To perplex them ftill more, and sure famine to
The ninth of July last, or near it,
(As' to the day, he could not swear it) (Now fatire has loft both its truth and its sting)
In company at Mrs. P.'s, if, in spite of their natures, they bungle at praise,
Where folks say any thing they please ;
Your honour regards not, and nobody pays.
Dean L. and lady Mary by,
YOUR petitioners therefore must humbly intreat
And Fanny waiting on Miss Y.
(As the times will allow, and your Honour thinks (He own”d he was inclined to think
Both were a little in their drink) That measures be chang'd, and some cause of com
The pris'ner alk'd, and call'd him cousin, plaint
How many kisses made a dozen ? Be immediately furnish'd, to end their restraint ;
That being, as he own'd, in liquor, Their credit thereby, and their trade to retrieve,
The question made his blood run quicker,
That again they may rail, and the nation believe.
And, sense and reason in eclipse,
Or else (if your wisdom fhall deem it all one)
He vow'd he'd score them on her lips.
Now the Parliament's rising, and business is done,
That rifing up to keep his word,
He got as far as kiss the third,
And would have counted tother nine,
And so all present did opine,
But that he felt a sudden dizziness,
That quite undid him for the business :
His speech, he said, began to falter,
His eyes to ftare, his mouth to water,
His breast to thump without ceffation,
And all within one conflagration.
Bless me! says Fanny, what's the matter?
And lady Mary look'd hard at her,
And stamp'd, and with'd the pris'ner further,
And cry'd out, Part them, or there's murther!
That still he held the pris’ner fast,
And would have stood it to the last;
But struggling to go through the rest,
He felt a paiņ acrofs his breast,
A sort of sudden twinge, he said,
That seem'd almost to strike him dead,
And after that such cruel (marting,
He thought the soul and body parting.
That then he let the pris'ner go,
And stagger'd off a step or so;
And thinking that his heart was ill,
He begg'd'of Miss Y.'s maid to feel.
That Fanny stept before the rest,
And laid her hand upon his breast;
But, mercy on us! what a ftare
The creature gave! No heart was there';
Souse went her fingers in the hole,
Whence heart, and strings, and all were stole.
That Fanny turn'd, and told the prisoner,
She was a thief, and so she'd chriften her ;
And that it was a burning shame,
And brought the houfe an evil name;
And if she did not put the heart in,
The man would pine and die for certain.
The pris'ner then was in her airs,
And bid her mind her own affairs;
And told his reverence, and the rest of 'em,
She was as honest as the best of 'em.
That lady Mary and dean L.
Rose up and said, 'Twas mighty well,
But that, in general terms they faid it,
A heart was gone, and some one had it :
Words would not do, for search they must,
And search they would, and her the first.
That then the pris'ner dropp'd her anger,
And said, she hop'd they would not hang her;
That all she did was meant in jest,
And there the heart was, and the rest.
That then the dean cry'd out, o fie!
And sent in haste for justice I.
Who, though he knew her friends and pity'd her,
Callid her hard names, and so committed her.
The parties present swore the same;
And Fanny said, the prisoner's name
Had frighten'd all the country round
And glad me was the bill was found.
She knew a man, who knew another,
Who knew the very party's brother;
Who lost his heart by mere surprize,
One morning looking ar her eyes ;
And others had been known to squeak,
Who only chanc'd to hear her speak:
For The had words of such a fort,
That though she know no reason for't,
Would make a man of fense run mad,
And rifle him of all he had ;
And that she'd rob the whole community,
If ever she had opportunity.
The pris'ner now first filence broke,
And curtfy'd round her as she spoke.
She own'd, the said, it much incens'd het,
To hear fuch matters fworn against her,
But that she hop'd to keep her temper,
And prove herself “ eadem semper."
That what the prosecutor swore
Was some part true, and some part more:
She own'd The had been often seen with him,
And laugh'd and chatted on the green with him ;
The fellow feem'd to have humanity,
And told her tales that footh'd her vanity,
Pretending that he lov'd her vastly,
And that all women elle look'd ghaftly.
But then the hop'd the court would think
She never was inclin'd to drink,
Or suffer hands like his to daub her, or
Encourage men to kiss and Nobber her;
She'd have folks know she did not love it,
Or if she did, she was above it.
But this, the said, was sworn of course,
To prove her giddy, and then worse ;
As the whose conduct was thought “ lævis,"
Might very well be reckon'd thievith,
She hop'd, he said, the court's difcerning
Would pay some honour to her learning,
For every day from four to past fix,
She went up-stairs, and read the classics.
Thus having clear'd herself of levity,
The reft, he said, would come with brevity.
And first, it injur'd not her honour
To own the heart was found upon her ;
For the could prove, and did aver,
The paltry thing belong'd to her :
The fact was thus. This prince of knaves
Was once the humblest of her Naves,
And often had confess'd the dart
Her eyes had lodg'd within his heart:
That They as 'twas her constant fashion,
Made great diversion of his passion ;
Which fet his blood in such a ferment,
As seem'd to threaten his interment :
That then she was afraid of losing him,
And so defifted from abusing him ;
And often came and felt his pulse,
And bid him write to docter Hulse.
The prosecutor thank'd her kindly,
And ligh'd, and said the look'd divinely ;
But told her that his heart was bursting,
And doctors he had little trust in ;
He therefore begg'd her to accept it,
And hop'd 'twould mend if once the kept it.
That having no averfion to it,
She said, with all her soul, she'd do it;
But then she begg'd him to remember,
If he thould need it in December,
(For winter months would make folks shiver,
Who wanted either heart or liver)
It never could return; and added,
''Twas her's for life, if once the had it.
The prosecutor said, Amen,
And that he wish'd it not again ;/
And took it from his breast and gave her,
And bow'd, and thank'd her for the favour;
But beggd the thing might not be spoke of,
As heartless men were made a jokē of.
That next day, whispåring him about it,
And asking how he felt without it,
He figh'd, and cry'd, Alack! alack !
And begg'd, and pray'd to have it back ;
Or that she'd give him her's instead on't:
But the conceiv'd there was no need on't ;
And said, and bid him make no pother,
He should have neither one noi t'other.
That then he rav'd and storm'd like fury,
And said, that one was his " de jure,
And rather than he'd leave pursuing her,
He'd swear a robbery, and ruin her.
That this was truth she did aver,
Whatever hap betided Her;
Only that Mrs. P. The said;
Miss Y. and her deluded maid,
And lady Mary, and his reverence;
Were folks to whom the paid fome deference ;
And that the verily believ'd
They were not perjur'd, but deceiv'd.
Then doctor D. begg'd leave to speak,
And figh'd as if his heart would break.
He said, that he was madam's surgeon;
Or rather, as in Greek, chirurgeon;
From « cheir, manus, ergon, opus”.
(As scope is from the Latin “ fcopus”).
That he, he said, had known the prisoner
From the first sun that ever rise on her ;
And griev'd he was to see her there;
But took upon himself to swear,
There was not to be found in nature
A sweeter or a better creature ;
And if the king (God bless knew her,
He'd leave St. James's to get to her :
But then as to the fact in question,
He knew no more on't than Hephæstion ;
It might be false, and might be true ;
And this, he said, was all he knew.
The judge proceeded to the charge,
And gave the evidence at large,
But often cast a sheep's eye at her,
And strove to mitigate the matter,
Pretending facts were not so clear,
And mercy ought to interfere.
The jury then withdrew a moment,
As if on weighty points to comment;
And right or wrong, resolv'd to save her,
They gave a verdict in her favour.
But why or wherefore things were so,
It matters not for us to know :
The culprit, by escape grown bold,
Pilfers alike from young and old,
The country all around her teazes,
And robs or murders whom the pleases.
THEwige, für "Excellence, to you s
To these, detesting praise, I write,
And vent, in charity, my spite. THE EAGLE, AND THE ASSEMBLY or BIRDS. With friendly hand I hold the glass
To all, promiscuous as they pass ;
Should folly there her likeness view,
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS
I fret not that the mirror's true ;
If the fantastic form oifend,
PRINCESS OF WALES!
I made it not, but would amend.
Virtue, in every clime and age, HE moral lay; to beauty due,
Spurns at the folly-foothing page,
While satire, that offends the ear Well pleas'd to hope my vacant hours
Of vice and passion, pleases her: Have been employ'd to sweeten yours.
Premising this, your anger spare, 'Truth under fiction I impart;
And claim the fable you who dare.
To weed out foily from the heart ;
And shew the paths, that lead astray
THE birds in place, by factions pressid, The wand'ring nymph from wisdom's way.
To Jupiter their pray’rs address’d; I fatter rone. The great and good
By specious lies the state was vex'd, Are by their actions understood;
Their counsels libellers perplex'd; Your monument if actions raise,
They begg'd (to stop leditious tongues) Shall I deface by idle praise ?
A gracious hearing of their wrongs. I ocho not the voice of fame,
Jove grants their suit. The Eagle Latz; That dwells delighted on your name ;
Decider of the grand debate. Her friendly tale, however true,
The Pye, to trust and pow'r preferr'd, Were fatt'ry, if I told it you.
Demands permission to be heard. The proud, the envious, and the vain,
Says he, Prolixity of phrase The jili, the prude, demand my strain ;
You know I hate. This libel says, VOL. VII.
“ Some birds there are, who, prone to noise, " Are hir'd to filence wisdom's voice, “ And skill'd to chatter out the hour, “ Rise by their emptiness to pow'r." That this is aim'd direct at me, No doubt, you'll readily agree ; Yet well this sage assembly knows, By parts to government I rose ; My prudent counsels prop the state ; Magpies were never known to prate.
The Kite' rose up. His honeft heart In virtue's suff'rings bore a part. That there were birds of prey he knew ; So far the libeller faid true ; “ Voracious, bold, to rapine prone, 66 Who knew no int'reft but their own ; “ Who hov'ring o'er the farmer's yard, " Nor pigeon, chick, nor duckling (par'd.” Tlus might be true, but if apply'd To him, in troth, the Nand'rer ly'd. Since ign'rance then might be misled, Such things, he thought, were best unsaid.
The Ciow was vex'd. As yester-morn
He few across the new-lown corn,
A screaming boy was set for pay,
He knew to drive the crows away ;
Scandal had found out him in turn,
And buzz'd abroad, that crows love corn.
The Owl arofe, with folemn face,
And thus harangu'd upon the case.
That magpies prate, it may be true,
A kite may be voracious too,
Crows sometimes deal in new-lown pease ;
He libels not, who strikes at these ;
The Nander's here" But there are birds,
66 Whose wisdom lies in looks, not words ;
“ Blund'rers, who level in the dark,
" And always shoot beside the mark."
He names not me; but these are hints,
Which manifest at whom he squints ;
I were indeed that blund'ring fowl,
To question if he meant an owl.
Ye wretches, hence! the Eagle cries,
'Tis conscience, conscience that applies ;,
The virtuous mind takes no alarm,
Secur'd by innocence from harm;
While guilt, and his associate fear,
Are stareled at the passing air.
While he, who tells you honest truth,
And points to happiness your youth,
Determines, by his care, his lot,
And lives neglected, and forgot ?
Trust me, my dear, with greater ease
Your taste for fiatt'ry I could please,
And fimilies in each dull line,
Like glow-worms in the dark, thould shine.
What if I say your lips disclose
The freshness of the op’ning rose ?
Or that your cheeks are beds of flow'rs,
Enripen'd by refreshing Mow'rs?
Yet certain as these flow'rs shall fade,
Time every beauty will invade.
The butterfly, of various hue,
More than the flow'r resembles you ;
Fair, flutt'ring, fickle, busy thing,
To pleasure ever on the wing,
Gayly coquetting for an hour,
To die, and ne'er be thought of more.
Would you the bloom of youth should last? 'Tis virtue that must bind it fast; An easy carriage, wholly free From four reserve, or levity ; Good-natur'd mirth, an open heart, And looks unskill'd in any art ; Humility, enough to own The frailties, which a friend makes known ; And decent pride enough to know The worth, that virtue can beftow,
These are the charms, which ne'er decay,
Though youth and beauty fade away ;
And time, which all things else removes,
Still heightens virtue, and improves.
You'll frown, and ask to what intent
This blunt address to you is sent ?
I'll spare the question, and confess
I'd praise you, if I lov'd you less ;
But rail, be angry, or complain,
I will be rude, while you are vain.
THI PANTHER, THE HORSE, AND OTHER
THE man, who seeks to win the fair,
(So custom says) must truth forbear ;
Must fawn and Aatter, cringe and lie,
And raise the goddess to the sky.
For truth is hateful to her car,
A rudeness, which she cannot bear.
A rudeness? Yes. I speak my thoughts ;
For truth upbraids her with her faults.
How wretched, Cloe, then am I,
Who love you, and yet cannot lie !
And still to make you less my friend,
I strive your errors to amend !
Put Thail the senseless fop impart
The foftest passion to your heart,
BENEATH a lion's peaceful reign,
When beasts met friendly on the plain,
A Panther, of majestic port,
(The vainest female of the court)
With spotted skin, and eyes of fire,
Fill'd every bosom with desire,
Where-e'er the mov'd, a servile crowd
Of fawning creatures cring'd and bow'd;
Assemblies every week the held,
(Like modern belles) with coxcombs fillid,
Where noise, and nonsense, and grimace,
And lies and scandal fill'd the place.
Behold the gay, fantastic thing, Encircled by the spacious ring. Low-bowing, with important look, As first in rank, the Monkey spoke. “ Gad take me, madam, but I swear, “ No angel ever look'd so fair : “ Forgive my rudeness, but I vow, " You were not quite divine till now; “ Those limbs! that shape! and then those eyes! « O, close them, or the gazer dies !"
Nay, gentle Pug, for goodness hush,
I vow, and swear, you make me blush;
I shall be angry at this rate ;
"Tis so like flatt'ry, which I hate..
And kings on earth their gems admire,
Because they imitate my fire.
She spoke. Attentive on a sprays
A Nightingale forbore his lay;
He saw the thining morsel near,
And few, directed by the glare ;
A while he gaz'd with sober look,
And thus the trembling prey bespoke.
Deluded fool, with pride elate,
Know, 'tis thy beauty brings thy fate :
Less dazzling, long thou might'1t have lain
Unheeded on the velvet plain :
Pride, foon or late, degraded mourns,
And beauty wrecks whom she adorns.
The Fox, in deeper cunning versid,
The beauties of her mind rehears'd,
And talk'd of knowledge, taste, and sense,
To which the fair have vast pretence !
Yet well he knew them always vain
Of what they strive not to attain,
And play'd so cunningly his part,
That Pug was rival'd in his art.
The Goat avow'd his am'rous fame;
And burnt-for what he durft not name ;
Yet hop'd a meeting in the wood
Might make his meaning understood.
Half angry at the bold address,
She frown'd; but yet she must confess,
Such beauties might inflame his blood,
But still his phrase was somewhat rude.
The Hog her neatness much admir'd;
The formal Ass her swiftness fir'd;
While all to feed ber folly strove,
And by their praises shar'd her love.
The horse, whose gen'rous heart disdain'd
Applause, by servile Ratt'ry gainid,
With graceful courage, Glence broke,
And thus with indignation spoke.
When flatt'ring monkeys fawn, and prate, They justly raise contempt or hate ; For merit's turn'd to ridicule, Applauded by the grinning fool. The artful Fox your wit commends, To lure you to his selfim ends; From the vile fatt'rer turn away, For knaves make friendships to betray. Dismiss the train of fops, and fools, And learn to live by wisdom's rules; Such beauties might the lion warm, Did not your folly break the charm; For who would court that lovely shape, To be the rival of an ape ?
He said ; and snorting in disdain, Spurn’d at the crowd, and sought the plain,
F A B L E IV.
DEATH. 'IXTEEN, d'ye say? Nay then 'tis time ;
Another year destroys your prime. But stay—The settlement ! " That's made." Why then's my simple girl afraid ? Yet hold a moment, if you can, And heedfully the fable scan.
THE hades were fied, the morning blush'd,
The winds were in their caverns hush'd,
When Hymen, pensive and sedate,
Held o'er the fields his musing gait.
Behind him, through the green-wood Thade,
Death's meagre form the god survey'd,
Who quickly, with gigantic stride,
Out-went his pace, and join'd his side.
The chat on various subjects ran,
Till angry Hymen thus began.
Relentless Death, whose iron fway
Mortals reluctant must obey,
Still of thy pow'r Thall I complain,
And thy too partial hand arraign?
When Cupid brings a pair of hearts
All over stuck with equal darts,
Thy cruel shafts my hopes deride,
And cut the knot, that Hymen ty’d.
Shall not the bloody, and the bold,
The miser, hoarding up his gold,
The harlot, reeking from the stew,
Alone thy fell revenge pursue ?
But must the gentle, and the kind,
Thy fury, undistinguish'd, findi?
The monarch calınly thus reply'd :
Weigh well the cause, and then decide.
That friend of yours, you lately nam’d,
Cupid, alone is to be blam'd;
Then let the charge be justly laid ;
That idle boy neglects his trade,
And hardly once in twenty years,
A couple to your temple bears.
The wretches, whom your office blends,
Silenus now, or Plutus sends ;
Hence care, and bitterness, and strife
Are common to the nuptial life.
Beļieve me ; more than all mankind,
Your vot’ries my compassion find;
Yet cruel am I call'd, and base,
Who seek the wretched to release ;
The captive from his bonds to free,
Indiffoluble but for me.
ONE night, a Glow-worm, proud and vain, Contemplating her glitt’ring train, Cry'd, Sure there never was in nature So elegant, ro fine a creature. Al other insects, that I see, The frugal ant, industrious bee, Or silk-worm, with contempt I view ; With all that low, mechanic crew, Who servilely their lives employ In business, enemy to joy. Mean, vulgar herd! ye are my scorn, For grandeur only I was born, Or sure am sprung from race divine, And plac'd on carth, to live and shine. Those lights that sparkle so on high, Are but the glow-worms of the sky,