3. Sir Thomas Friendly, who lives about two miles distant, i a baronet, with an estate joining to that I purchased. He has two sons and five daughters, all grown up, and living, with their mother and a maiden sister of Sir Thomas's, at Friendly Hall. Conscious of my unpolished gait, I have, for some time past, taken private lessons of a professor, who teaches "grown gentlemen to dance; and though I at first found wondrous difficulty in the art he taught, my knowledge of the mathematics was of prodigious use in teaching me the equilibrium of my body, and the due adjustment of the centre of gravity to the five positions. 4. Having acquired the art of walking without tottering, and learned to make a bow, I boldly ventured to obey the baronet's invitation to a family dinner, not doubting but my new acquirements would enable me to see the ladies with tolerable intrepidity; but, alas! how vain are all the hopes of theory, when unsupported by habitual practice! 5. As I approached the house, a dinner-bell alarmed my fears, lest I had spoiled the dinner by want of punctuality. Impressed with this idea, I blushed the deepest crimson, as my name was repeatedly announced by the several livery-servants, who ushered me into the library, hardly knowing what or whom I saw. At my first entrance, I summoned up all my fortitude, and made my new-learned bow to Lady Friendly; but, unfortunately, in bringing back my left foot to the third position, I trod upon the gouty toe of poor Sir Thomas, who had followed close at my heels, to be the nomenclator of the family. 6. The confusion this occasioned in me is hardly to be con ceived, since none but bashful men can judge my distress The baronet's politeness, by degrees, dissipated my oncern; and I was astonished to see how far good breeding could eble him to suppress his feelings, and to appear with perfect case after so painful an accident. 7. The cheerfulness of her ladyship, and the familiar chat of the young ladies, insensibly led me to throw off my reserve and sheepishness, till, at length, I ventured to join the conversation, and even to start fresh subjects. The library being richly furnished with books in elegant bindings, I conceived Sir Thomas to be a man of literature, and ventured o give my opin ion concerning the several editions of the Greek classics, in which the baronet's opinion exactly coincided with my own. 8. To this subject I was led by observing an edition of Xenophon3 in sixteen volumes, which (as I had never before heard of such a thing) greatly excited my curiosity, and I rose up to examine what it could be. Sir Thomas saw what I was about, and, as I supposed, willing to save me trouble, rose to take down the book; which made me more eager to prevent him, and, hastily laying my hand on the first volume, I pulled it forcibly; but, lo! instead of books, a board, which, by leather and gilding, had been made to look like sixteen volumes, came tumbling down, and unluckily pitched upon a wedgwood inkstand on the table. under it. 9. In vain did Sir Thomas assure me there was no harm; I saw the ink streaming from an inlaid table on the Turkey carpet, and, scarce knowing what I did, attempted to stop its progress with my cambric handkerchief. In the height of this confusion, we were informed that dinner was served up; and I, with joy perceived that the bell, which at first had so alarmed my fears, was only the half-hour dinner-bell. CIII. - CONFESSIONS OF A BASHFUL MAN PART SECOND. 1. In walking through the hall, and suite of apartments, to the dining-room, I had time to collect my scattered senses, and was desired * take my seat betwixt Lady Friendly and her eldest daughte: at the table. Since the fall of the wooden Xenophon, mace had been continually burning like a firebrand; and I was just beginning to recover myself, and to feel comfortably cool, when an unlooked-for accident rekindled all my heat and blushes. 2. Having set my plate of soup too near the edge of the table, ia bowing to Miss Dinah, who politely complimented the pattern of my waistcoat, I tumbled the whole scalding contents into my lap. In spite of an immediate supply of napkins to wipe the surface of my clothes, my black silk dress was not stout enough to save rie from the painful effects of his sudden fomentation, and for some minutes I seemed to be in a boiling cauldron; but, recollecting how Sir Thomas had disguised his torture when I trod upon his toe, I firmly bore my pain in silence, amidst the stifled giggling of the ladies and the servants. 3. I will not relate the several blunders which I made during the first course, or the distress occasioned by my being desired to carve a fowl, or help to various dishes that stood near me; spilling a sauce-boat, and knocking down a salt-cellar: rather let me hasten to the second course, where fresh disasters over whelmed me quite. 4. I had a piece of rich, sweet pudding on my fork, when Miss Louisa Friendly begged to trouble me for a pigeon that stood near me. In my haste, scarce knowing what I did, 1 whipped the pudding into my mouth, hot as a burning coal. It was impossible to conceal my agony; my eyes were starting from their sockets. At last, in spite of shame and resolution, I was obliged to drop the cause of torment on my plate. 5. Sir Thomas and the ladies all compassionated my misfortune, and each advised a different application. One recommended oil, another water; but all agreed that wine was best for drawing out fire; and a glass of sherry was brought me from the sideboard, which I snatched up with eagerness; but, O! how shall I tell the sequel? 6. Whether the butler by accident mistook, or purposely designed to drive me mad, he gave me the strongest brandy; with which I filled my mouth, already flayed and blistered. Totally unused to every kind of ardent spirits, with my tongue, throat and palate, as raw as beef, what could I do? I could not swallow; and, clapping my hands upon my mouth, the liquor squirted through my fingers like a fountain, over all the dishes. and I was crushed by bursts of laughter from all quarters. In vain did Sir Thomas reprimand the servants, and Lady Friendly chide her daughters; for the measure of my shame and their diversion was not yet complete. 7. To relieve me from the intolerable state of perspiration which this accident had caused, without considering what I did, I wiped my face with that ill-fated handkerchief, which was still wet from the consequences of the fall of Xenophon, and covered all my features with streaks of ink in every direction. The baronet himself could not support the shock, but joined his lady in the general laugh; while I sprang from the table in despair, rushed out of the house, and ran home in an agony of confusion and disgrace which the most poignant sense of guilt could not have excited. ANON. 2. 3. CIV.- HELPS TO READ. 1. A CERTAIN artist- I've forgot his name Had got for making spectacles a fame, Or "Helps to Read," as, when they first were sold Was writ upon his glaring sign in gold; And, for all uses to be had from glass, His were allowed, by readers, to surpass. And book produced,† to see how they would fit- These in my hand will better suit your eye." No, but they don't.”. "Well, come, sir, if you please, Still somewhat more they magnify the letter: 66 Why, now I'm not a bit the better!' "No! here, take these that magnify still more; How do they fit?"-"Like all the rest before." See Exercises under the eighteenth elementary sound, page 38. An elliptical form of expression; meaning, "a book being produced.' Bee T 194, page 68. 4. In short, they tried a whole assortment through, 5. The operator, much surprised to find So odd a case, thought, sure the man is blind: "What sort of eyes can yours be, friend?" said hc. Why, very good ones, friend, as you may see.". "Yes, I perceive the clearness of the ball; Pray, let me ask you, can you read at all?". "No, you great blockhead! if I could, what need And so he left the maker in a heat, CV. DR. BYROM. THE FALLS OF NIAGARA IN WINTER. 1 THE river Niagara takes its rise in the western extremity of Lake Erie, and, after flowing about thirty-four miles, empties itself into Lake Ontario. It is from half a mile to three miles broad; its course is very smooth, and its depth considerable The sides above the cataract are nearly level; but below the falls the stream rushes between very lofty rocks, crowned by gigantic trees. The great body of water does not fall in one complete sheet, but is separated by islands, and forms three distinct falls. 2. One of these, called the Great Fall, or, from its shape, the Horse-shoe Fall, is on the Canadian side. Its beauty is considered to surpass that of the others, although its height is con siderably less. It is said to have a fall of one hundred and sixty-five feet; and in the hotel, which is about three hundred yards from the fall, the concussion of air caused by this immense cataract is so great, that the window-frames, and, indeed, the whole house, are continually in a tremulous motion; and in winter, when the wind drives the spray in the direction of the buildings, the whole scene is coated with sheets of ice. 3. The great cataract is seen by few tourists in its winter garb. I had seen it several years before in all the glories of autumn, its encircling woods, happily spared by the remorseless |