paffage, or upwards at the mouth. Their next business is from herbs, minerals, gums, oils, fhells, falts, juices, fea-weed, excrements, barks of trees, ferpents, toads, frogs, fpiders, dead mens flesh and bones, birds, beafts, and fithes, to form a compofition for fmell and taste the most abominable, naufeous, and deteftable, they can pof fibly contrive, which the ftomach immediately rejects with loathing; and this they call a vomit or elfe from the fame ftore-houfe, with fome other poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the orifice above or below (juft as the physician then huppens to be difpofed) a medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the bowels; which, relaxing the belly, drives down all before it ; and this they call a purge or a clyfter. For nature (as the phyficiaus alledge) having intended the fuperior anterior orifice only for the intromiffion of folids and liquids, and the inferior pofterior for ejection; thefe artifts ingenioufly confidering that in all difeafes nature is forced out of her feat, therefore to replace her in it, the body must be treated in a manner directly contrary, by interchanging the ufe of each orifice; forcing folids and liquids in at the a nus, and making evacuations at the mouth. But befides real difeafes, we are fubject to many that are only imaginary, for which the phyficians have invented imaginary cures: thefe have their feveral names, and fo have the drugs that are proper for them; and with thefe our female yahoos are always infefted. One great excellency in this tribe is their skill at prog• noftics, wherein they feldom fail; their predictions in real difeafes, when they rife to any degree of malignity, generally portending death, which is always in their power, when recovery is not: and therefore, upon-any unexpected figns of amendment after they have pronounced their fentence, rather than be accufed for falle prophets, they know how to approve their fagacity to the world by a feasonable dofe. They are likewife of special use to husbands and wives, who are grown weary of their mates: to eldest fons, to great minifters of ftate, and often to princes. I had formerly upon occafion difcourfed with my ma fter upon the nature of government in general, and par ticularly of our own excellent conflitution, defervedly the wonder wonder and envy of the whole world. But having lere accidentally mentioned a minifier of fate, he commanded me fome time after to inform him, what fpecies of yahoo I particularly meant by that appellation. I told bin, that a first or chief minister of state, who was the perfon I intended to defcribe, was a creature wholly exempt from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at leaft makes ufe of no other paffions, but a violent defire of wealth, power, and titles; that he ap plies his words to all uses, except to the indication of his mind; that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you should take it for a lye; nor a lye, but with a defign that you fhould take it for a truth; that thofe he speaks worst of behind their backs, are in the fureft way of preferment; and whenever he begins to praile you to others, or to yourself, you are from that day forlorn. The worst mark you can receive is a promife, efpccially when it is confirmed with an oath; after which every wife man retires, and gives over all hopes. There are three methods, by which a man may rife to be chief minifter. The firft is, by knowing how with prudence to difpofe of a wife, a daughter, or a fifter; the fecond, by betraying or undermining his predeceffor; and the third is, by a furious zeal in public affemblies against the corruptions of the court. But a wife prince would rather choose to employ thofe, who practife the laft of thefe methods; becaufe fuch zealots prove always the moft obfequious and fubfervient to the will and paffions of their master. That these miniflers, having all employments at their difpofil, preferve themfelves in power by bribing the majority of a fenate or great council; and at laft by an expedient, called an act of indemnity (whereof I defcribed the nature to him) they fecure themfelves from after-reckonings, and retire from the public, laden with the fpoils of the nation. The palace of a chief minister is a feminary to breed up others in his own trade: the pages, lacquies, and por. ter, by imitating their mafter, become miniflers of State in their feveral diftricts, and learn to excel in the three principal ingredients, of infolence, lying, and bribery. Accordingly they have a fubaltern court paid to them by perfons of the best rank; and fometiines, by the force Y 2 force of dexterity and impudence, arrive, through feveral gradations, to he fucceffor to their lord. He is ufually governed by a decayed wench, or favourite footman, who are the funnels through which all graces are conveyed, and may properly be called, in the Taft refort, the governors of the kingdom. One day in diicourle, my mafter having heard me mention the nobi lity of my country, was pleafed to make me a compli, ment, which I could not pretend to deferve: that he was fure I must have been born of fomne noble family, because I far exceeded in fhape, colour,. and cleanliness all the yahoos of this nation, although I feemed to fail in ftrength and agility, which must be imputed to my different way of living from thofe other brutes; and befides I was not only endued with the faculty of fperch, but likewife with fome rudiments of reafon, to a degree, that with all hisacquaintance I paffed for a prodigy. He made me obferve, that among the Houyhnhnms, the white, the forrel, and the iron-grey, were not fo exactly thaped as the bay, the dapple-grey, and the black; nor born with equal talents of mind, or a capacity to improve them; and therefore continued always in the condition of fervants, without.ever afpiring to match out: of their own race, which in that country would be rcckoned mouftrous and unnatural. I made his honour my moft humble acknowledgements for the good opinion he was pleased to conceive of me; but affured him, at the fame time, that my birth was of the lower fort, having been born of plain honeft parents, who were just able to give me a tolerable education; that nobility among us was altogether a different thing from the idea he had of it; that our young noblemen are bred from their childhood in idleness and luxury; that, as foon as years will permit, they confume their vigour, and con tract odious difeafes among lewd females; and when their fortunes are almoft ruined, they marry fome woman of mean birth, difagreeable perfon, and 'unfound conftitution, merely for the fake of money, whom they hate and defpife. That the productions of fuch marriages are ge nerally fcrophulous, rickety, or deformed children; by which means the family feldom continues above three ge nerations, unless the wife takes care to provide a healthy father. father among her neighbours or domestics, in order to im prove and continue the breed: That a weak diseased body, a meagre countenance, and fallow complexion, are the true marks of noble blood; and a healthy robust appear. ance, is fo difgraceful in a man of quality, that the world concludes his real father to have been a groom, or a coach, man. The imperfections of his mind run parallel with thofe of his body, being a compofition of spleen, dulnefs, ignorance, caprice, fenfuality, and pride. Without the conlent of this illuftrious body, no law can be enacted, repealed, or altered; and these uobles have likewife the decifions of all our poffeffious, without appeal. CHAP. VII. The author's great love of his native country. His mafier's obfervations upon the conflitution and adminiflra, tion of England, as defcribed by the author, with pa. rallel cafes and comparifons. His master's obfervations upon human nature. HE reader may be disposed to wonder, how I could prevail on myself to give a free reprefentation of my own fpecies among a race of mortals, who are alrea dy too apt to conceive the vileft opinion of human kind from that intire congruity betwixt me and their yahoos. But I must freely confefs, that the many virtues of those excellent quadrupeds, placed in oppofite view to human corruptions, had fo far opened my eyes, and enlarged my understanding, that I began to view the actions and palfions of man in a very different light; and to think the honour of my own kind not worth managing; which be fides it was impoffible for me to do before a perfon of so acute a judgment as my mafter, who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I had not the least. perception before, and which with us would never be numbered even among human infirmities. I had likewife learned from his example an utter deteftation of all falfhood or difguife; and truth appeared fo amiable to me, that I determined upon facrificing every thing to it. Let me deal fo candidly with the reader as to confefs, Y 3 that that there was yet a much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my reprefentation of things. I had not 、 been a year in this country, before I contracted fuch a love and veneration for the inhabitants, that I entered on ', a firm refolution never to return to human kind, but to pafs the rest of my life among these admirable HouyInhums in the contemplation and practice of every vir tue, where I could have no example or incitement to vice. But it was decreed by fortune, my perpetual enemy, that fo great a felicity fhould not fall to my fhare. However, it is now fome comfort to refièct, that,in what I laid of my countrymen, I extenuated their faults as much as I durft before fo ftrict an examiner; and upon every article gave as favourable a turn as the matter would bear. For indeed who is there alive, that will not be swayed by his byafs and partiality to the place of his birth? I have related the fubftance of feveral conversations I had with my mafter, during the greatest part of the time I had the honour to be in his fervice; but have indeed, for brevity's fake, omitted much more than is here let down. When I had answered all his questions, and his curio-fity feemed to be fully satisfied, he fent for me one morning early, and commanding me to fit down at some diftance (an honour which he had never before conferred upon me), he faid, he had been very seriously confidering my whole ftory,fo far as it related both to myfelf and my Country: that he looked upon us as a fort of animals, to whose share, by what accident he could not conjecture, fome fmall pittance of reafon had fallen, whereof we made no other use, than by its affiftance to aggravate our natural corruptions, and to acquire new ones, which nature had not given us that we difarmed ourselves of the few abilities he had beftowed; had been very fuccefs ful in multiplying our original wants, and feemed to fpend our whole lives in vain endeavours to fupply them by our own inventions. That as to myself it was manifft, I had neither the ftrength or agility of a common yahoo; that I walked infirmly on my hinder-feet; had found out a contrivance to make my claws of no use or Jefence, and to remove the hair from my chin, which was |