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contempt I could give it both by accent and action. At the conclufion of the essay my uncle Antony shut the book and demanded what I thought of the author-"Hang him,” I exclaimed,“ poor, Grub-street Garreteer; the « fellow is too contemptible for your notice; “ he can neither write, nor reason; he is a mere

ignoramus, and does not know the commoneft « rules of logic: he has no feature of a critic « about him, but the malice of one.”-“ Hold

your tongue,” cried Antony, no longer able to contain himself, “you are a booby; I will u maintain it to be as fine an essay as ever was « written.”_With these words he snatched up the magazine and departed: I saw no more of him that night, and early next morning was presented by a servant with the following billet« The Grub-street Garreteer finds himself no « longer fit company for the fagacious Mr. William Simper; therefore desires him without “ loss of time to seek out better society than « that of a mere ignoramus, who does not know the

common rules of logic: one rule however he 6 makes bold to lay down, which is, Never again " to see the face of an impertinent upstart, called « William Simper, whilft he remains on this of earth." A. S.



Sunt verba et voces, quibus hunc lenire dolorem
Pollis, et magnam morbi deponere partem. /



RIVEN from my uncie Antony's doors

by my unlucky mistake between the hen and her egg, my case would have been desperate, but that I had yet one string left to my bow, and this was my aunt Mrs. Susanna Simper, who lived within a few miles of my uncle, but in such declared hoftility, that I promised myself a favorable reception, if I could but flatter her animosity with a sufficient portion of invective ; and for this I deemed myself very tolerably qualified, having so much good-will towards the business, and no flight inducements to spur me to it.

My aunt, who was an aged maiden, and a valetudinarian; was at my arrival closeted with her apothecary: upon his departure I was ad-mitted to my audience, in which I acquitted myself with all the address I was master of: my aunt heard my story through without interrupte ing me by a single word; at last, fixing her eyes upon me, she said, “ 'Tis very well, child ; you

« for

“ have said enough; your uncle's character I « perfectly understand; look well to your own, upon

that will depend the terms you and I « shall be upon.”—She now took up a phial from the table and surveying it for some time, said to me- Here is a noftrum recommended “ by my apothecary, that promises great things, “ but perhaps contains none of the wondrous

properties it professes to have: the label says « it is a carminative, sedative mixture; in « other words, it will expel vapours and spasms, 6 and quiet the mind and spirits : Do you « think it will make good what it promises ?”So whimsical a question put to me at such a moment confounded me not a little, and I only murmured out in reply, that I hoped it would « Take it then," said my aunt, “ as you have « faith in it; swallow it yourself, and when I see « how it operates with you, I may have more « .confidence in it on my own account.”-I was now in a more awkward dilemma than ever, for she had emptied the dose into a cup, and tendered it to me in fo peremptory a manner, that, not knowing how to excuse myself, and being naturally, submissive, I filently took the cup with a trembling hand, and swallowed its abominable contents, Vol. V.


66 Much

* Much good may it do you, child,” cried the, . you have done more for me than I & would for any doctor in the kingdom: u Don't you find it nauseous to the palate !" I confeft that it was very nauseous. And did

you think yourself in need of such a medi4 cine?”“I did not perceive that I was.” « Then you did not swallow it by your own « choice, but my desire ?"._I had no hesitation in acknowledging that." Upon my word, « child,” the replied, " you have a very accoma modating way with you." I was now fighting with the cursed drug, and had all the difficulty in life to keep it where it was. My aunt faw my diftrefs, and smiling at it demanded if I was not fick: I confeft I was rather discomposed in my ftomach with the draught.“I don't doubt it," fhe replied ; « but as you have fo civilly made « yourself fick for my fake, cannot you Aatter

me fo far as to be well, when I request it?” I was just then ftruggling to keep the nausea down, and though I could not answer, put the beft face upon the matter in my power.

A maid-fervant came in upon my aunt's ringing her bell.« Betty,” said the, i take « away these things ; this doctor will poifon us « with his coses.”_" Foh !” cried the wench,


6 how

" how it fmells!” « Nay, but only put your lips « to the cup;" faid the inistress, « there is « enough left for you to taste it." =" I taste it! « I'll not touch it, I want none of his nasty phy« fic." Well, but though you don't want it," rejoined the mistress, “ taste it nevertheless, if it « be only to flatter my humour.”-“Excuse e me, madam,” replied Betty, “I'll not make “ myself fick to flatter any body.”_"Humph!" cried my aunt, “how this wench's want of mána ners must have shocked you, nephew William!

you fwallowed the whole dose at a word, fhé, " though my servant, at my repeated command « would not touch it with her lips; but these 66 low-bred creatures have a will of their own.” *There was fomething in my aunt's manner i did not understand; she puzzled me, and I thought it beft to keep myself on the reserve, and wait the further developement of her humour in filence.

We went down to supper; it was elegantly ferved, and my aunt particularly recommended two or three dithes to me; her hospitality émbarrassed me not a little, for my stomach was by no means réconciled; yet I felt myfelf bound in good manners to eat of her dishes and com. mend their cookery; this I did, though forely


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