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an atom. Had the monster gorg'd thee at a "mouthful, how many thousands, nay tens of "thousands have the voracious jaws of death "devoured in a fucceffion of campaigns, which "have made creation melt? Didst thou escape "the monster? what then; how can we have "leisure to reflect upon thy fingle deliverance, "when we call to mind the numbers of de"fpairing captives, who have been liberated, "from the dungeons of tyranny? In a word, "friend Cracker, if it is through a love for the "marvellous thou makest fo free with the facred

name of truth, thou doft but abuse our pa"tience and thine own time in hunting after "fharks and monfters of the deep; and if thou

haft any other motive for fiction than the "above, it must be a motive lefs innocent than "what I have fuppofed, and in that cafe we hold "thee dangerous to fociety and a difgrace to human nature."

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Here he concluded, and though the length and deliberate folemnity of his harangue had given me time enough, yet I had not fo availed my-, felf of it as to collect my thoughts and prepare. myself for any kind of defence: How to deal with this formal old fellow I knew not; to cudgel him was a fervice of more danger than I

faw

faw fit to engage in, for he was of athletic limbs and ftature; to challenge him to a gentleman's fatisfaction, being a Quaker, would have fubjected me to universal ridicule I rofe from my chair, took my hat from the peg and abruptly quitted the room: Next morning I fent to cut my name out of the club, but behold! they had faved me that ceremony over-night, and I had once more a new fet of acquaintance to go in search of

In this folitary interim I ftrove to lighten the burthen of time by ftarting a correspondence with one of our public prints, and fo long as I fupplied it with anecdotes from the country, I may fay without vanity there was neither fire nor flood, murder, rape nor robbery wanting to embellifh it: I broke two or three necks at a horfe-race without any detriment to the community, and for the amusement of my readers drove over blind beggars, drowned drunken farmers, and toffed women with child by mad bullocks, without adding one item to the bills of mortality; I made matches without number which the register never recorded; I was at the fame time a correfpondent at Bruffels, a refident in Spain and a traveller at Conftantinople, who gave fecret information of all proceedings in

thofe

those several places, and by the mysterious ftile, in which I enveloped my dispatches, nobody could fix a falfehood on my intelligence, till I imprudently fought a battle on the banks of the Danube, after the armies were gone into winter quarters, which did the Turk no mischief, and effectually blasted me with the compiler, and him with the public.

I am now out of bufinefs, and, if you want any thing in my way to enliven your Obfervers, (which give me leave to remark are sometimes rather of the dulleft) I fhall be proud to ferve you, being

Your very humble fervant

at command,

KIT CRACKER.

N. B. I do not want any thing in Kit Cracker's way; but though I decline the offer of his affiftance, I willingly avail myself of the moral of his example.

N° CXXXV.

N° CXXXV.

Writer of miscellaneous effays is open to

A Wie is to

the correfpondence of perfons of all defcriptions, and though I think fit to admit the following letter into my collection, I hope my readers will not suppose I wish to introduce the writer of it into their company, or even into my own.

TO THE OBSERVER.
Sir,

As we hear a great deal of the affluence of this flourishing country, and the vast quantity of fleeping cafe, as it is called, lockt up in vaults and strong boxes, we conceive it would be a good deed to waken fome of it, and put it into ufe and circulation: we have therefore affociated qurselves into a patriotic fraternity of circulators, commonly called pick-pockets: But with forrow we let you know, that notwithstanding our best endeavours to put forward the purposes of our inftitution, and the great charges of providing ourselves with inftruments and tools of all forts for the better furtherance of our bufi

nefs,

nefs, we have yet hooked up little except dirty handkerchiefs, leathern fnuff-boxes, empty purses and bath-metal watches from the pockets of the public; articles thefe, let me fay, that would hardly be received at the depôt of the patriotic contributors in Paris. Are thefe the fymptoms of a great and wealthy nation? we blush for our country, whilft we are compelled by truth and candor to reply-They are not.

As we have a number of petty articles on hand, which will not pafs in our trade, nothing deters us from putting them up to public cant, but the tax our unworthy parliament has laid upon auctions. I fend you two or three papers, which a brother artift angled out of the pocket of a penniless gentleman the other night at the playhouse door; the one a letter figned Urania, the other Gorgon; they can be of no use to us, as we have nothing to do with Urania's virtue, nor ftand in need of Gorgon to paint scenes, which we can act better than he describes neither do we want his effigy of a man under the gallows to remind us of what we must all

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