ledged so unconditionally that she had married him eight years before, for the sake of his rank and fortune, in hopes to be soon rid of her incumbrance, that the effect on me was a perfect disgust; and when I considered the conduct of a girl of twenty, thus sacrificing her delicacy at the altar of ambition, and reflected that I was upwards of forty, and might grow prematurely old, and have my deary's cordial wishes for a safe and speedy voyage across the Styx, I steered clear of my would-be widow, and put off my bark.

"Louise would have made mè an excellent wife, I believe, but she said more about liking an elderly gentleman, than was likely to be true; she also boasted of being an excellent nurse, and I had no mind to fall sick, nor to try her hand when alling and decrepid; besides, a young cousin of her's, who came out of the Gardes du Corps into my regiment, was so solicitous about my marrying, that I suspected he was not quite disinterested on the subject; and I left him to take the lady himself if he chose. I was now about fifty years of age, and my two last chances were a widow thrice married, who was too killing a charmer for me; and a declining spinster at her last prayers, whose large fortune softened my heart; but when I found that it was to be settled entirely upon her, and to return to her family, and that, rot content with making me her pis aller (or last shift,) she was avaricious and selfish, I once more escaped, and am now resolved never to barter my liberty against youth, or beauty; well aware that my grey hairs are not worthy of either, and that my bald forehead is still a better ornament, than any that could be put on my head by officious friends."

with a view of forming a collection.Several observations, followed by experiments, induced him to believe that this venomous animal was capable of being tamed. The means which he employed to effect this object are unknown, but the fact is that he succeeded in a most surprising degree. He ascribes his success entirely to the power of music, and pretends that a tender melody is sufficient to tranquillize the greatest irritation on the part of the animals M. Neale is now at Richmond (Virginia,) where he makes a kind of exhibition of his curiosities. He has two living rattle-snakes. The male is four feet eight inches long, and has eight rattles in his tail, which shows that he is nine years old. The female is smaller, and has but five. M. Neale has bad them in his possession thirty months. Their docility is so great, that having talked to them a little, and stroked them with his hand, he takes them as if they were rope's-ends, and puts them up his breast until they wind round his neck, and kiss him. Far from injuring their master these dreadful reptiles seem to emulate one another in evincing their attachment to him. Besides the education of these snakes, M. Neale reposes his security in another cause; for he has a remedy for their bite, of which he makes no secret. The first thing, he says, is to wash one's mouth with warm oil, then to suck the wound, afterwards to drink plentifully of a decoction of snake-root, which operates as an emetic; after which there is nothing to fear. M. Neale opens the mouths of his snakes, and shows their venomous fangs. They are in the upper jaw, two on each side; and if extracted are renewed. They are pointed, bent behind, and lie flat towards the throat when the animal does not want to make

use of them. The venom (as is known) exudes from a little bladder which is at the root of the tooth. These animals change their skin, in summer, once every two months. Every year, except the first, they acquire a new horn rattle, whence they derive their name. Consequently the number of these rattles indicates their age. They seldom shake them, and only when they are irritated, or rather when they want to fix the attention of their prey; that is to say, of the most lively animals, such as birds and squirrels. M. Neale maintains the truth of the Charming-power which these snakes have been said to possess; having observed an instance of it in his garden, on the part of his own snakes :

the victim, conquered by his fears, fall ing from branch to branch, and rock to rock, until his enemy darted upon him. But he denies that there is any thing offensive in the breath of these animals, having frequently received their close caresses; on the contrary, he is convinced that it is soft and agreeable! The rattle-snake is not the only description of snake which M. Neale has tamed. He has tamed every kind; and they are all obedient to his orders.

ANECDOTE OF BARRY, (THE CELEBRATED IRISH PAINTER.)

Sauntering one day alone in St. James's Park, he accidentally met Burke, who accosted him in a most kind and friendly manner; expressing much pleasure on seeing him, and gently chiding him for not having called to see him for so many years. Barry, with great freedom and cheerfulness, recognized their old acquaintance and friendship in earlier years; but he said it was a maxim with him when any of his old friends soared into regions so far above his sphere,seldom to trouble them with his visits or obsolete recollections; he considered therefore his old friend Burke, as now too great a man for intercourse with a groundling like himself. Mr. Burke, rather hurt at this unmerited taunt, (for no man was less proud, more kind, or assumed so little on the score of rank and talents,) pressed Barry to a friendly visit at his house: but Barry insisted on precedence in the march of hospitality, and invited the statesman to come next day, and take with him a friendly heef-steak, at his house in little St. Martin's Lane; to which Mr. Burke agreed, and kept his appointment. When he rapped at the door, however, Dame Ursula who opened it, at first denied that her master was at home; but on Mr. Burke's expressing some surprise and announcing his name, Barry overheard his voice, and ran down stairs in his usual trim of abstracted genius, utterly regardless of his personal appearance: his scanty grey hair, unconscious of the comb, sported in disordered ringlets round his head; a greasy green silk shade over his eyes, served as an auxiliary to a pair of horn-mounted spectacles, to strengthen his vision. His linen was none of the whitest, and a sort of roquelaire served the purposes of a robe de chambre; but it was of the composite order, for it was neither

jockey-coat, surtout, pelisse, nor tunic, but a mixture of all four ; and the chronology of it might have puzzled the Society of Antiquarians to develope. After a welcome greeting, he conducted his eloquent countryman to his dwellingroom on the first floor, which served him for kitchen, parlour, study, gallery, and painting-room; but it was at that moment so befogged with smoke, as almost to suffocate its phthisicky owner, and was quite impervious to the rays of vision. Barry apologised; dd the bungling chimney doctors; hoped the smoke would clear up, as soon as the fire burned bright; and was quite at a loss to account for "such an infernal smother," until Mr. Burke, with some difficulty convinced him he was himself the cause for, in order to remedy the errors of his chimney, he had removed the old stove grate from the fire-place into the centre of the room, where it was sustained by a large old dripping pan, by way of a platform, to save the carpet from ignition; and he had been occupied for half an hour with the bellows to cheer up the coals to a blaze. He was now prevailed on to assist his guest in removing the grate to its proper situation, and the windows being thrown open, the smoke soon vanished. He now proceeded to conduct his guest to see his pictures in certain apartments on the higher story, where many exquisite pieces without frames, stood edgewise on the floor, with their fronts to the walls, to guard them from injury; and by the aid of a sponge and water, their coats of dust were removed, and their beauties developed, much to the delight of the guest. Having lectured con amore upon the history and merits of the paintings, his next object was to display to his guest the economy of his bedroom; the walls of his apartment, too, were occupied by frameless pictures, veiled in perennial dust, which was likewise sponged off, to develop their beauties, and display some first-rate gems of the art. In a sort of recess between the fire-place and the wall, stood a stump bedstead without curtains, and counterpaned by a rug, bearing all the vestiges of long and arduous service, and tinted only by the accumulated soil of half a century, which no scourer's hand had ever prophaned. "That, Sir," said the artist" is my bed; I use no curtains, because they are unwholesome, and I breathe more freely, and sleep as soundly as if I reposed on down, and snored under velvet.But there, my friend,

continned he, pointing to a broad shelf, fixed high above the bed, and fortified on three sides by the walls of the recess, "that is my chef-d'œuvre.-'Ecod I have outdone them at last,."-Out-done whom?" said Mr. Bürke. "The rats,

the dd rats, my dear friend," replied Barry, rubbing his palms in ecstacy, they beat me out of every other security in the house-could not keep any thing for them, in cupboard or closet; they devoured my cold meat, and bread and cheese, and bacon: but there they are now, you see, all safe and snug, in defiance of all the rats in the parish." Mr. Burke could not do less than highly commend his invention, and congratulate him on its success. They now descended to the first room; Barry, whose only clock was his stomach, felt it was his dinner hour, but totally forgot his invitation, until Mr. Burke reminded him of it: -"Ods-oh! my dear friend," said he, I beg your pardon: so I did invite you, and it totally escaped my memory:-but if you will sit down here and blow the fire, I'll step out and get a charming beef-steak in a minute." Mr. Burke took the bellows to cheer up the fireand Barry his departure to cater for the banquet. And shortly after, he returned with a comely beef-Steak, enveloped in cabbage leaves, crammed into one pocket; the other was filled with potatoes; under each arm was a bottle of port, procured at Slaughter's coffeehouse; and in each hand a French brick. An antique gridiron was placed on the fire, and Mr. Burke performed the office of cook; while Barry as butler, set the table, which he covered with a table cloth, perfectly geographical; for the stains of former soups and gravies had given it the appearance of a Map of the World. The knives and forks were veterans brigaded from different sets, for no two of them wore the same uniform, in blades, handles, or shapes. Dame Ursula cooked the potatoes in Tiperarian perfection, and by five o'clock, the hungry friends sat down like Eneas and Achates to make a hearty meaf: after having dispatched the "pinguem ferinam," they whiled away the time till nine o'clock, over their two flaggons" veteris Bacchi,"

“And joked, and laughed, and talked, of former

times."

Mr. Burke has often been heard to declare, that this was one of the most amusing and delightful days of his whole life.

VARIETIES.

FABULOUS BELIEF OF THE ANCIENT BRITONS.

Brutus, according to Geoffrey of Monmouth, was son of Silvius, grandson to Ascanins, and great grandson to Æneas. Having accidentally killed his father in the chace, he was banished by his kindred from Italy into Greece, where he delivered his countryman the Trojan from the bondage of Pandrasus; and having made a treaty with him, and married his daughter Innogen, left Greece with the Trojans, in a fleet of 324 sail, in search of a new country; and after wandering about some time, in the course of which he met with Corineus in Tuscany, with whom he joined forces, at length arrived in Totnes, in Devonshire. Cornwall by lot fell to Corineus, and Brutus himself reigned over the Island, (the name of which he changed from Albion to Britain) 24 years, when he died, and was buried in a city, built by himself, called Troja Mora, afterwards Trinovantum, on that which is now the site of London. This fable of the descent of the Britons from the Trojans appears to have been believed in England, and Scotland, in Edward the First's time, about 1301.

RUMP-STEAK AND BEEF-STEAK.

Two Frenchmen, on their return from London, compared notes. Oh, says Monsieur de la Chicordie, le bif-rote is charmant a London. - 'Oui yes,' replies M. des Epinards, 'dat is vrai, but je prefere le rum-teak,' 'Le rum-teak, vat is de rum teak?' "Voyez vous, it is toujours de bif-teak, mais day call it rum-teak parceque day put de rum in de sauce.

CURIOUS JEWISH CUSTOM.*

Mrs. Holderness in her Journey from Riga to the Crimea, says, that the Jews, when first married, wear a shirt of finer texture than ordinary, which, after the wedding-day is carefully put by unworn till the time of their death, when they are uniformly buried in it. So valuable is this shirt in their estimation, and so indispensible a part of their possessions, that in money transactions, when they require to borrow, and have no pledge of value to give, they frequently deposit this shirt, which is always a satisfactory security to the lender, as the Jew could not die happy without redeeming it.

THE COUNTRYMAN AND THE LAWYER,

had got

A Country Bumpkin, pence by pence,
The golden semblance of his gracious King:
Day after day he bless'd his happy lot,

And view'd with monstrous eyes the glittering thing!

It chanc'd he wanted Counsellor's advice,

And sore at heart and much perplexed was he: His hard earn'd Guinea going in a trice!

What Counsel gives advice without a fee? He told his story o'er and o'er again,

And thus attention to his cause bespoke :""Tis true that I's be desp'rate poor, but then, "I always keeps a Guinea in my poke." This news affected much the Man of Law;

He laid the case down clear as noon-day sun, And, as is customary, held his paw

:

To catch the fee as soon as he had done. Hodge thought (and wisely too) a Guinea now, If given, could not make his case more clear Pull'd off his hat, presented his best bow, And said- "I thanks ye-kindly thanks ye, Sir!" "Come, come! "at length, the angry Lawyer cries

"You understand me-you are pleas'd to joke "The Guinea!"-"No! I told you," Hodge re

plies,

"I always keeps a Guinea in my poke!"

THE BACHELOR'S SOLILOQUY.

Or a New Puzzle* in praise of Women.

Happy a man may pass his life

While free'd from matrimonial chains
When he is govern'd by a wife

He's sure to suffer for his pains.

What tongue is able to declare

The failings which in women dwell
The worth that fall's to women's share
Can scarce be call'd-perceptible.

In all the female race appear
Hypocrisy, deceit, and pride
Truth-darling of a heart sincere
In woman never can reside.
They're always studying to employ
Their time in vanity and prate
Their leisure hours in social joy
To spend is what all women hate.
Destruction take the men I say

Who make of women their delight
Those who contempt to women pay
Keep prudence always in their sight.
Anna Maria.

When read in praise of women, the first and third lines, then the second and fourth, must be read,

THE PUZZLED PATIENT.

Dear Cousin, much I wish for your advice, 'Tis on a point extremely nice,

'Bout which my mind is in a cold quandary
By your opinion I would fain abide,
Betwixt two personages to decide-
My dog and my apothecary.

To state the case-Monsieur L'Apothecaire
Thinks proper to declare

That I must drink a pint of bark a day;
Because, he says, 'twill be the way

To strengthen and recruit me now I'm wasted.
That may be true; yet still I'm loth to drink;
It is the vilest stuff I ever tasted.

But that's not all; for you must know
A noisy house-dog that I keep,
Doth ev'ry night contrive it so

That I can get no sleep:--
And am I not in piteous plight,
With bark all day, and bark all night ?

Now prithee, cousia, tell me what to do
Betwixt the two:-

"Why hang the dog," I think I hear thee say, Alas, poor Tray!

Would that be treating thee quite fair?

If either must be hang'd I own

I'd rather leave the dog alone,
And hang the other spark
Who deals in bark-

Monsieur L'Apothecaire.

NOTICE TO CORRESPONDENTS.

We thank Fidius for his suggestions and shall at the first opportunity avail ourselves of his friendly hint.

Sosia, H.P.C. and Harriet, have come to hand,
and shall have immediate perusal.
We cannot comply with the request of Numa ;
it would be in complete opposition to the
plan we have hitherto adopted.

Fungus is too long and too dull for our use.
Simplex, Cimber and N. S. are inadmissible.

LONDON.-Printed and Published by W. KEENE, at the Office, New Church-court, Strand, where all communications for the Editor, and orders for the Portfolio, (post paid) are requested to be addressed: also by DUNCOMBE, 19, Little Queen-street, Holborn, SIMPKIN and MARSHALL, Paternoster-row, and all respectable Booksellers,