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EVERY BODY'S COUSIN, &c.

317 EVERY BODY'S COUSIN. THE TERRIER Dog.--In passing along

the Strand, I saw a sinall terrier lying in (From the French)

the kennel, draggled and covered with

mud, and whining most piteously. Its I HAVE just had an additional oppor master had (as I was informed by the tunity of proving the accuracy of obser. by-standers) reduced it to this condition. vation which distinguishes Picard's Jo a paroxysm of rage, he aimed a large comedy. I was present at the celebra paving stone at the poor animal, which tion of a marriage, which was to be fol was but too well directed, and.com. lowed by a grand feast at one of the most petely paralized the hinder parts of the celebrated taverns in the capital. The wretched creature. It might have taught number of relations (thanks, probably, a lesson of kindness and forgiveness to to this latter circumstance) was very any thing except its brutal owner : considerable. Among them' I observed after this barbarous usage, it crawled to one whose conduct might have served as his feet, and looked up to him as if it a model. He was dressed in a suit of would try to reconcile him to himself, black, and had a collected air, with a for he seemed to feel the indignation smile playing upon his lips, and appear- which his conduct had excited, and to ed to be inspired by a general benevo think that the continuance of a deterlence. At the moment of going into the minate air of ferocity in his countenance sacristy, he offered his hand to a respect. might be supposed to explain the first able grand-aunt of the bride's, who was outrage, by implying some provocation quite charmed with a courtesy to which sufficient to excite it. A considerable she did not appear to be accustomed. crowd had collected; apology for the On entering the carriages 'to repair to violence was useless when it could not the feast, he again gave his hand to the avail the sufferer; recrimination would old lady, and afterwards seated himself not be listened to, when the party beside her at the banquet. At table be aggrieved was incapable of defence. seemed perpetually engaged. Full of Compassion, like every other feeling actattentions to his neighbour, he found ing in a crowd, is catching ; and the means not to forget himself, although he co-relative sentiment of resentment undertook to carve several of the prin- against the injustice which had called it cipal dishes. At the dessert, he sung forth, was beginning to shew itself in a some couplets on marriage, which seemed way which menaced punishment, in a to have been coinposed for the occasion: much more summary form than Mr. he drew the cork of the first bottle of Martin's well-meant acts. “Why don't champagne; he it was wbo first drank you kill un at vonce,” was vociferated the health of the young married folks ; by a host of draymen and coal-heavers, he fastened one of the bride's favours at accompanied by some very pithy explehis button-bole; in short, after having tives of language. He seemed to listen charmed the whole company by his affa. with as much deference to the natural bility and good-humour, he took leave magistracy of the mob, as to the manwhen the gaming-tables were brought. dates of the Bench—he lifted the mangled “ My love,” said the bridegroom to his and quivering creature by the hinder young spouse, “ I am delighted in the legs, and while I turned away, I heard acquisition of a relation so amiable as the crashing blow which terminated at the gentleman who has just quitted us.' once bis miseries and his life.-Sketches « My dear,” replied the lady, “ it is an from the Causeway. acquisition which I value the more, as I Royal Bon Mot.-A right hon. gentleam indebted for it to you." “ What! is man, wbo has been recently appointed not this polite gentleman your cousin ?". to one of the highest offices in the state, “ On the contrary, I thought he was having been admitted to the royal preyours, and it was on that account I was sence to receive the seals of office, was so impressed with the civilities 'which he observed on his retirement to rub his exbibited towards me.” An explanation chin in a very contemplative mood. “I between the two families proved that this hope,” said a friend, “that you met with a every body's cousin was nobody's cousin; gracious reception ?” “I don't know but as, after examination, none of the what to think of it,” replied the new spoops or shawls were missing, the com- secretary; "his majesty, with apparently pany laughed heartily at the adventure, perfect sincerity, expressed a wish that and resolved that, under similar circum- I should follow the example of my late stances, they would call over the names predecessor, which I am afraid means, of the party before going into the dining that nothing would give him so much room.

pleasure, as that I should cut my throat.”

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Biographical Sketches. have the general's company.” A friend

at length acquainted the officer of it,

who sent for Foote: “Sir, says the DR. GOLDSMITH.

general, I hear you have an excellent Dr. Goldsmith, although one of the talent at mimicking characters; and first characters in literature, was a great

among the rest I find I have been the novice in the common occurrences of subject of your ridicule. « Oh, Sir, said life. His own heart perfectly harmless,

Foote, with great pleasantry, “ 1 take, he imagined every man he sat in com

all my acquaintance off at times; and, pany with possessed of the same. The

what is more particular, I often take. following anecdote will place this obser

myself off. “ Odso,” says the other, vation in a proper point of view:-Sit. pray let us have a specimen.” Foote, ting one evening at the Globe Tavern, on this, puts on his hat and gloves, takes Fleet-street, he called for a mutton chop, hold of his cane, and making a short which was no sooner placed on the table, bow, left the room. The officer waited than a gentleman with whom he was

some miyutes for his return; but at intimately acquainted, turned up his length, on inquiry, found he had really nose, and asked now the doctor could taken himself off, by leaving the house. suffer the waiter to place such a stinking chop before him? Stinking! says the doctor, “ in good troth I do not smell it."

GEORGE MORLAND. “ I never smelt any thing so disagreeable The grovelling associates of this genius in my life,” says the gentleman; “ the would swear that all art centred in their rascal deserves a caning for being so idol George. This erroneous opinion, heedless as to bring you such carriou.” however, was not confined to the merce“In good truth,” says the poet, “ I think nary connoisseurs who surrounded bis so too, but I'will be less severe in my

easel. punishinent." He instantly called the About the year 1790, at the memorable waiter, and after persuading the poor epoch for the English historical painters, fellow that the chop stunk worse than when the Shakspeare gallery was in its assafoetida, he insisted as a punishment, zenith of attraction, Mr. W*******n, a that he should sit down and eat it him great commercialist, was so possessed self. The waiter argued; but the doc with this notion, that he engaged Morland tor threatened to knock him down with to paint a Shakspeare Gallery, which was his cane, if he did not immediately com to be exhibited in Ireland. George ply with the punishinent. When the touched a good round sum by way of waiter had swallowed half the chop, the ernest, made his convives drunk with the doctor gave him a glass of wine, think- cash, and laughed at the egregious gulliing, with his usual good-nature, it would bility of his patron. I saw his sketch make the remainder of the sentence less from As You Like It, the only one he painful. When the waiter had done, designed for his employer, and it was, as Goldsmith's friend burst into a horse you may suppose, far below criticism. laugh. "What in God's name ails you It should be told, to the credit of this now ?" says the poet. “Indeed, my very excellent painter, in bis own walk, dear friend, I could never think that any however, that he was not vain of his man, whose knowledge of letters was so talent. He knew exactly how he stood in extensive as your's, could be so great a art. “ l'ean paint a better landscape than dupe to a stroke of humour; the chop any living artist,” said he,“ exceptwas as fine a one as I ever saw in my ing De Loutherbourg, but I must knock life.” « Was it ?” says the doctor; under to him, and be d---d to him.” " then I shall never give credit to what you say again, and so, in good truth, I CURIOUS EXPERIMENT. think I am even with you."

In 1788, Herrisant, a French philoso

pher, enclosed three toads in boxes, and FOOTE.

covered the boxes with plaster of Paris, Foote, whose talent lay in lampoon- to the complete exclusion of air. He then ing and mimicry, even in his early days deposited the boxes at the academy of had once got the knack of imitating a Sciences, at Paris, and in eighteen months late general officer, in the shrug of his after, they were opened. Two of the shoulders, the lisping of his speech, and toads were found living, and one dead. some other things for which the general Unfortunately the diinensions of the was remarkable, so that it grew a com boxes have not been recorded. Dr. Edmon topic among his acquaintance; wards, from whose writings. we have who used to say, “ Come, Sam, let us taken this account, lately made some ex

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periments of a similar nature; and he The family physician.
seems to have proved, that whatever
care may be taken completely to bury a

HYDROPHOBIA,
toad in plaster, the air will penetrate, that rContinued from p. 288.)
it is transmitted through the material;
which is probably also the case when

CANINE MADNE$8.-The appearance toads have been known to live in stones

of inadness in a dog is so well marked, and wood, and that when these animals that with common attention we cannot are completely excluded from the air, by fail of discovering the disease. The the interposition of water or mercury symptoms which this faithful creature they speedily die.

exhibits, when labouring under madness,

are as follows:-He shows at first an Apechanics' Dracle.

aversion to food; looks dull, heavy, and,

if the reader will pardon a pun, literally Combustion of Iron by a Jet of Sul dog'd:" if he has been accustomed to phur in Vapour.

bark at and run after strangers, those If a gun-barrel be heated red-hot at habits, in the first stage of the disease, the but-end, and a piece of sulphur be generally leave him, and he becomes thrown into it; on closing the mouth

sullen and morose; will take little notice with a cork, or blowing into it, a jet of of any one, save his master, whom the ignited sulphurous vapour will proceed poor animal generally recognises to the from the touch-hole. Exposed to this, last. Before the more violent symptoms a bunch of iron wire will burn, as if occur, we may observe his ears and tail ignited in oxygen gas, and will fall down drooping, his refusal of meat and drink, in the form of fused globules in the state

his eyes appearing swimming in tears, of proto-sulphuret. Hydrate of potash, and gets heavy, and frequently he will exposed to the jet, fuses into a sulphuret lay down for a considerable time, as if of fine red colour. Sillman's Journal.

going to sleep. Some of these animals,

as the more severe symptoms take place, To obtain large Potatoes. snarl and bark, and endeavour to bite Many people imagine, that it makes all who approach (especially if not used no difference in the result, whether the to do so before the commencement of eyes, as they are called, of large or small the malady), and the attendant symppotatoes be planted. This is a great,

toms rapidly increase, till he dies worn mistake. A writer in the Farmer's

out by exhaustion. For some hours Journal states, that, as an experiment, before he dies, his appearance is horrible he planted a row of sets, cut out into and singular, foaming at the mouth; single eyes, from large potatoes chosen

endeavours to bite the by-standers, forout of a heap; the row was 25 yards in gets his keeper, and often falls down, as length : and next to it he planted another if incapable, as he really is, of suprow of equal length, from the smallest posting himself; presently he will rise, potatoes, picked from the same heap; and attempts to fly at something which some of the latter were set whole, and he appears to single out: at length he some cut in half. When he took them up grows mad and furious, and the scene the former row produced four bushels cluses. This stage seldom lasts above and a half of fine lage potatoes, with thirty hours; and, it is said, that the scarcely any small ones. The other row

nearer to this stage, the more dangerous gave so few in measure, that they all is the bite of a rabid animal. went into a half-bushel scuttle, and were

I have often, indeed always, in those miserably small.

dogs I have seen from the commencement

of the disease, noticed the very peculiar To extricate Horses from Fire. howl which attends the compla'nt;, it is Throw the harness over a draught. not a bark, nor yet that sound commonly horse, and place the saddle on the back denominated

" bayiug,"

but a noise of a saddle horse, and they may be led between a yell and a bark, so wild and out of the stable as easily as on common melancholy, that, when once heard, it occasions. If time allows, put the bridle can never be forgotten or mistaken for on them rather than the balter, and the any thing else than a sure sign of difficulty of saving them will be further madness. lessened

Before I conclude this part of my To soften Ivory.

subject, I shall mention a popular error

wbich prevails, namely, that if a dog Steep the ivory in a decoction of sage, will drink water he cannot be mad. made by boiling sage in strong vinegar. Nothing is more erroneous or more danThe longer the ivory remains in the de- gerous than this silly idea: dogs, in coction, the softer it will become

he first stage of the complaint, will

00

drink, and that, too largely; but, as the THE BIRDS OF ENDERMAY, disease becomes more violent, the poor The smiling morn, the breathing spriug, brute has a sensation of choaking, Invite the tuneful birds to sing, accompanied by a tense stiffness in the And while they warble from each spray, throat, causing a feeling of strangulation Let us, Amanda, timely - ise, on any attempt to swallow a liquid ; Like them improve the hour that flies, and, therefore, the animal avoids doing And in soft raptures waste the day so, although, even in thut borrible state. Among the shades of Endermay. he will endeavour to drink, though inca.

For soon the winter of the year,

W.B. pacitated from swallowing.

And age, life's winter, will appear;
All this thy living bloom must fade,

As that will strip the verdant shade:
Driginal poetry.

Our taste of pleasure then is o'er,
TO L.'e. L.

The feathered songsters love no more;

And when they droop, and we decay,
Spirit of poesy, of beauty, and of love !

Adieu, the shades of Endermay.
Why art thou dwelling in so cold a sphere !
Oh, to the children of this world of care
Carol thy lay of sweetness and of love,
From thine own régions, in the world above,

In cooling stream, 0 sweet Repose,
For that wild bird, soaring from this

dull earth, That steal the mourder from his woes, Sings loudest praises to his God for birth. Lady! tby song is thrilling in my heart,

And bid despair be still. In all its witching powers of romance,

Prolong the smiling infant's rest,
And all its loveliness and guileless art ;,

Who.yet no sorrow knows;
Here cloath'd in innocence, does lo ve advance, But O, the parent's bleeding breast,
Witb not one look to bid the virgin start; ! To softest peace compose.
So soft, so pure, and yet so tender too,
That love, is love indeed, when sung by you.

For ber the fairest dreams ador,
C. A. B.

That wave on fancy's wing,
The purple of ascending morn,

The bloom of opening spring.
MIDNIGHT THOUGHTS AT SEA.

Let all that soothes the soul, or charms, Is there a man' dare boast he ne'er knew fear?

Her midnight hour employ,
Then has he not at midnight's awful hour, Till blest again in Allford's arms,
Toss'd on his pillow, sleepless, lain to hear

She wakes to blissful joy.
The wild waves roar, in all their rising power,
Aud echoing burst against the vessel's side';

Whilst seamen tell, bow every' tack around
Fell sand-bank's lie, whereon the rushing tide

Ye woods and ye mountains unknown, May whirl from anchorage their frail bark Beneath whose pale shadows I stray, aground

To the breast of my charmer alone,
And now dark rolling mist envelopes all;

These sighs bid sweet'echo convey.
E'en sea-marks buried in the dread obscure : Wherever he pensively leans,
The storm advances ! let the sinner call

By fountain, on hill, or in grove,
To Heaven for mercy, and the world abjure. His heart will explain what she means,
Children of dust! what then is all the pride Who sings both from sorrow and love.
Of haughty wealth ?-of beauty ?-learning? More soft than the nightingale's son g
-birth

0, waft the sad sound to his ear, When ghastly death, his portals.yawning wide, And say, though divided so long, Engulphs alike the sons of mother earth,

The friend of his bosom is pear; Where at that moment is the scoffer's gibe ? T'hen tell him what years of delight, Freethinker's doubt? — the bold atheists Then tell him what ages of pain, brave 1

I felt, while I lived in his sight, Each trembling mortal would his maker bribe I feel till I see him again.

To save his soul, his body from the grave;
In such hour spar'd! wbat infidel but feels,

And owns the strength of au avenging rod? Arise, sweet messenger of morn,
What ardent sceptic, but unbidden kneels, With thy mild beams our skies adorn;
To hymn the praises of all-gracious God? Por long as shepherds pipe and play,

ROVER. This shall bea holiday.

See morn appears, a rosy hue
A PUN RHYMED.

Steals soft o'er yonder orient blue ;
Methinks, said Tom to Dick, that I,

Soon let us meet in trim array, The weather being cold,

And frolick out this hiolday. Will buy a pair of gaiters high.

Pray tell me where they're sold? Said Dick, we've shops in every street,

On Thursday last was published, So long you need not dally,

No. 79 of the PORTFOLIO, with a Steel But these, which warm my legs and feet, Portrait of Washington Irving, and an

I bought in yonder alley,
Hold, hold, said Tom, who loved a pun,

original examination and criticism on That shop won't do for me,

all his writings, including copious No, no, i'faith, I'll cut and run,

Extracts from his new work, The From danger to be free;

TALES OF A TRAVELLER," Por surely there's small chance to save Tbe life of lingering waiters,

just published. Who, thus fool-bardy, death would brave Amongst the alligators,

QUIZ. (Correspondents in our Next.) LONDON :-WILLIAM CHARLTON WRIGHT, 65, Paternoster Row, and may be had of all Booksellers and Newsmen

[SEARS, Printer, 45, Gutter Lanc)

:

7

THE PORTFOLIO,

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COMPRISING tertid to anno DOO
1. The flowers of Literature. 2. The Sptrft of the gPagazines.

satis 3. The adlonders of Nature and Alt.
4. The Family Physician and Domestic Guide. 5.
an

Mechanic's Dracle.

fotos 9d ni The DANCE of DEATW.104T30 ad 9th 23 tyd 70 art instad The Cuts by the celebrates Bewick.

V VOTQARAW

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ខ ៗ 90 No. IX.-THE CARDINAL

99 No. X-THE ELECTOR. ?? Which justify the wicked for reward, and lu The king shall mourn, and the prince" shall take away the righteousness of the righteous be clothed with desolation, and the hands of the from him. gial, ha ISAIAH, v. 23. people of the land shall be troubled. A MESSENGER has just presented to in

EZEKIEL, vii, 27.

19lke, ĐEN to GILE him, on his knees, the bull that con This prince, as he is coming out of stitutes him a cardinal. Death seizes his palace with his courtiers, is accosted this moment to make his appearance, by a poor woman, who implores his help and seems to want to turn his hat upon for herself and the infant she holds by his head. The messenger is holding in the hand; but he, insensible to the dishis right hand a tin box, hung by a strap,

tresses of the widow and orphan, refuses in which he had, no doubt, "carried the to listen, and is turning aside with a bull

, which the new-made cardinal holds disdainful air to his courtiers. Death at in his right hand with the seals appended this instant appears; and his severe to it. 9. 1 oil pitto aspect announces, that he is just about lors

to make him repent his hard-heartedness.

2016T5010 VSD! le 94 You

CONTENTS.

993fof hio bastass The Dance of Death ..........

On the right manner of giving Reproof.. 329
The Cardinal.

Leonora-A Sketch
The Elector...

The Two Brothers.
The Tales of a Traveller

322 Rules for Young Maids.................. 333 The Strolling Manager..

ib. Good Advice.. Original Poetry

The King of Prussia.

334 Sketches from Nature, &c..

The Post Wagen...

ib. The Dance of Death resumed.

Biographical Sketches

...... 335 The Bishop

Blanche Lady Arundel..............oib. The Count

ib.

Earthquake in Scotland
Curious Courtship
ib. Fresh and Salt Water Baths.

ib. The Jew's Harp

To free Glass and Earthenware from Tainted "The Dance of Death continued

Smells.

o.. ib. In The Abbe...

To banish Rats
The Abbess

Notice ....
Poetry-Ode to P W

Correspondents
The Poet in a Diferama ...... ib
Vol. 111. Sept. 4.

No. 82.-Price 2d.

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