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THE PORTFOLIO ,

COMPRISING

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1. The flowers of Literature. 2. The Spirit of the magazines.

3. The adonders of Nature and Art. 4. The Family Physician and Domestic Guide. 5. The Bechanic's Dracle.

THE MURDER OF JULIUS CAESAR.

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CONTENTS.
Murder of Julius Cæsar ......
337 | Languedoc Kitchen

347 Crime

338
Campo Santo

ib.
Dinner in the Steam Boat..ni
339 City of Merida,

ib, Just come to Town..... 341 Effrontery.

348 Blouders of Legislation..

343 Improvements of the Age........ 349 Troubadour Song ib. The Penitentiary.

350 The Dance of Death.

344 Anecdote of a North American Indian.... ib. The Friar Provisor. ib. Matrimony and Divorce....

ib. The Canoness ib. The Fatal Omen ..

351 The Preacher 345 Fall of a Stone from the Clouds.

ib. The Physician..

ib. To destroy Worms in Gravel Walks.. ib, Eyam..... 346 Correspondents

ib. THE MURDER OF JULIUS CÆSAR. descended from that Brutus who first

gave liberty to Rome. The passion for A DEEP conspiracy was laid against freedom seemed to have been transmitted Julius Caesar, composed of vo less than with the blood of his ancestors down to sixty senators. They were still the more him. But though he 'detested tyranny, formidable, as the generality of them yet he could not forbear loving the were of his own party, who, having been tyrant, from whom he had received the raised above other citizens, felt more most signal benefits. strongly the weight of a single superior. The conspirators, to give a colour of At the head of this conspiracy were justice to their proceedings, remitted the Brutus, whose life Cæsar had spared execution of their design to the ides of after the battle of Pharsalia, and Cassius, March, the day on which Cæsar was to who was pardoned soon after ; both be offered the crown. The augurs had prætors for the present year. Brutus foretold that this day would be fatal to made it his chief glory to have been him, and the night preceding he heard

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Vol. III.

Sept. 11.

No. 83.-Price 2d.

THE

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his wife Calphurnia lamenting in her wounds from hands which be vainly sup sleep; and being awakened, she cou- posed he had disarmed by his benefits. fessed to him she had dreamed of his

BARD OF AVON HAS THUS being assassinated in her arms. These BEAUTIFULLY DESCRIBED THE omeus, in some measure, began to change

VERY ACT OF THE MURDER. his intention of going to the senate, as he had resolved, that day; but one of the (Casca stabs Cæsar in the necké

Cæsar catches hold of his arm. conspirators coming in, prevailed upon him to keep his resolution, telling him

He is then stabbed by several of the reproach that would attend his other conspirators, and at last staying at home tiñ his wife had lucky by Marcus Brutus. dreams, and of the preparations that Cæsar. Et tu, Brute !--- Then fall, were made for his appearance. As he Cæsar. went along to the senate, a slave, who (Dies. The senators and people retire hastened to him with information of the

in confusion. conspiracy, attempted to come near him, Cinna. Liberty! Freedom! Tyranny but could not for the crowd. Arteini. is dead! Run hence, proclaim, cry dorus, a Greek philosopher, who had it about the streets. discovered the whole plot, delivered him Cassius. Some to the common pulpits, a memorial containing the heads of the and cry out, information ; but Cæsar gave it, with Liberty, freedom, and enfranchisement ! other papers, to one of his secretaries Brutus. People and senators! be not without reading, as was usual iu things affrighted; of this nature. Being at length entered Fly not; stand still :---ambition's debt the senate-house, where the conspirators is paid. were prepared to receive him, he met Casca. Go to the pulpit, Brutus. one Spurina, an augur, who had forelold Decius.

And Cassius too. his danger, to whom he said, smiling, Brutus. Where's Publius?

Well, Spurina, the ides of March are Cinna. Here, quite confounded with conie. “Yes," replied the augur,“ but this mutinys they are not yet over." As soon as he Metellus. Stand fast together, lest had taken his place, the conspirators some friend of Cæsar's came near him, under the pretence of Should chance--saluting him; and Cimber, who was one Brutus. Talk not of standing ;-of them, approached in a suppliant pos Publius, good cheer; ture, pretending to sue for his brother's There is no barm intended to your person, pardon, who had been banished by his Nor to no Roman else : 89 tell them, order. All the conspirators seconded Publius. him with great earnestness; and Cimber, Cassius. And leave us, Publius; lest seeming to sue with still greater sub that the people, mission, took hold of the bottom of his Rushing on us, should do your age some robe, holding him so as to prevent þis mischief. rising. This was the signal agreed ou. Brutus. Do so ;---and let no' man Casca, who was behind, stabbed him, abide this deed, though slightly, in the shoulder. Cæsar But we the doers. instantly turned round, and, with tbe

CRIME. steel of his tablet, wounded him in the

THE following is an abstract of the arm. However, all the conspirators result of commitments to the last Old were now alarmed, and inclosing him Bailey Sessions by the City and County round, he received a second stab from Magistrates: an unknown hand in the breast, while

Convicted, Acquitted. Cassius wounded him in the face. He Marlborough-St. Office ..33 still defended himself with great vigour, Bow-Street. ........... 17 rushing among them, and throwing down Worship-Street ........ 16 such as opposed him, till he saw Brutus Hatton Garden

12 among the conspirators, who, coming Marylebone

12 14 up, struck his dagger into his thigh. Whitechapel

8 From that moment, Cæsar thought no Queen Square

7 more of defending himself; but looking Thames ...

4 upon this conspirator, cried out, “ And Coroners and County you, too, my son!” Then covering his Magistrates

5 head, and spreading his robe before him, in order to fall with greater decency, he

114 sunk down, at the base of Pompey's Mansion-House & Guildstatue, after peceiving three and twenty ball...

29

16

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DINNER IN THE STEAM-BOAT.

339

DINNER

a holiday," cried Smart. “O dear, O IN THE STEAM-BOAT. dear !" continued Dick, whose usual

brazen tone was subdued into a lacka* They fool me to the top of my bent." SHAKSPEARE.

daisical whine, " I vant to reach and I

can'l ---vat shall I do, mother ?"' « Stand « COME, Mrs. Suet, Mrs. Hoggins on tiptoe, my darling," replied Smart, Mrs. Sweetbread, Mrs. Cleaver ! dinner's imitating the voice of Mrs. Cleaver, who ready; shall I show you the way down began to take in high dudgeon this horseto the cabin? we mustn't spoil good play of her neighbour, and was proceed. victuals though we are sure of good com- ing to manifest her displeasure in no very pany.

Lauk! what a monstrous deal measured terms,when she was fortunately of smoke comes out of the chimney. I separated from her antagonist, and borne suppose they are dressing the second down the hatchway by the ; dinnercourse; every thing's roasted by steam, desiring crowd, though sundry echoes of they say, how exceedingly clever! As the words "Jackanapes !” and “imperent to Mrs. Dip, since she's so high and feller ?" continued audible above the mighty, she may find her own way down. confused gabble of the gang way. What she's afraid of spoiling her fine « Well, but Mr. Smart, cried Mrs. shaw), i reckon, though you and I Suet, as soon as she had satisfied the first remember Mrs. Hogging, when her five cravings of her appetite, you promised shilling Welsh-whittle was kept for Sun- to tell me all about the steam, and day's church, and good enough too, for explain what it is that makes them we all know what her mother was. wheels go round and round as fast as Good Heavens ! here comes Undertaker those of our one-horse chay, when Jem Croak, looking as down in the mouth as Ball drives the trotting mare.” “ Why, the root of my tongue: do let me get out ma'am, you must understand.” “Who of his way; I wouldn't sit next to him for called for sandwiches and a tumbler of a rump and dozen, he does tell such dis- negas ?" bawled the steward.---" Who mal stories that it quite gives one the called for the savages and tumbling blue devils. He is like a nightmare, isn't negres?" repeated Mr. Smart.--" Yes, he, Mr. Smart ? “ He may be like a

ma'am, you saw the machinery, I believe mare by night,” replied Mr. Smart, with ---(capital boiled beef) there's a thing a smirking chuckle, but I consider him goes up and a thing goes down, all more like an ass by day.-He! he! he!" made of iron ; well, that's the hydroLooking round for applause at this sally, static principle; then you put into the he held out his elbows, and taking a lady, boiler---(a nice leg of mutton, Mrs.Sweet. or rather a female, under each arm, he bread)-let me see, where was 1?-In danced towards the hatchway, exclaiming, the boiler, I believe. Ah! it's an old « Now I am ready trussed for table, liver trick of mine to be getting into hot water. under one wing and gizzard under the So, ma'am, you see they turn all the other.” « Keep a civil tongue in your smoke that comes from the fire on to head, Mr. Smart; I don't quite under- the wheels, and that makes them spin stand being called a liver-look at the round, just as the smoke-jack in our sparks coming out of the chimney, I chimnies terns the spit ; and then there's declare I'm frightened to death.” “Well, the safety-valve in case of danger, which then you are of course no longer a liver,” lets all the water into the fire, and so resumed the facetious Mr. Smart; “ so puts out the steam at once. You see, we may as well apply to Mr. Croak to ma'am, it's very simple, when once you bury you. “Q Gemini! don't talk so understand the trigonometry of it.” « O shocking; I had rather never die at all perfectly, but I never had it properly than have such a fellow as that to bury explained to me before.

It's vastly me.” . “ Dickey, my dear!” cried Mrs. clever, isn't it? How could they think Cleaver to her son, who was leaning over of it? Shall I give you a little of the the ship's side with a most woe-begone sallad! La, it isn't dressed; what a and emetical expression of countenance, shame!" “ hadn't you better come down to dinner? “ Not at all,” cried Smart, none of There's a nice silver side of a round o' us dressed for dinner, so that we can beef, and the chump end of a line o' hardly expect it to be dressed for us. mutton, besides a rare hock of bacon, He! he! he!" “ Did you , bear that, which I dare say will settle yourstomach.” Mrs. H.? exclaimed Mrs. Suet, turning “O mother,” replied the young Cockney, to Mrs. Hoggins, “that was a good one, " that 'ere cold beef-steak and inguns warn't it? Drat it, Smart, you are a vat you put in the pocket-bandkerchief, droll one.” vasn't good, I do believe, for all my Here the company were alarmed by a hinsides are of a work.”. “Tell 'em it's terrified groan from Mr. Croak, who

ejaculated, “Heaven have mercy upon it a rule never to speak ill of the dead

us ! did you bear that whizzing noise ? I am eating the ham, you see, and yet it --there it is again! there's something would be much better if I were to let it wrong in the boiler-if it bursts, we shall exemplify one of Shakspeare's soliloquies all be in heaven in five minutes.” “ The Ham-let alone.” “ La! you're such Lord forbid !" ejaculated two or three a wag," cried Mrs. Hoggios, “ there's no 'voices, while others began to scream, and being up to you ; but if you don't like were preparing to quit their places, when the ham, take a slice of this edge-bone the steward informed them it was nothing ---nothing's better than cold beef." I in the world but the spare steam which beg your pardon, Madam, replied the they were letting off. Ah, so they indefatigable joker---" cold beef's better always say," resumed Croak, with an than nothing --Ha! ha! ha!” incredulous tone and woe-begone look ; “ How do you find yourself now, my “ but it was just the same on board the darling ?” said Mrs. Cleaver to ber son, American steam-boat that I was telling who had been driven below by a shower, you of-fifty-two souls sitting at dinner, and kept his hat on because, as he said, laughing and chatting for all the world his ’air was quite vet.” “ Vy, mother, I as we are now, when there comes a wbiz, have been as sick as a cat, but I'm baug such as we heard a while ago-God help up now, and so peckish that I feel as if I us! there it is once more and bang! up could heat any thing.".

“ Then just blew the boiler-fourteen people scalded warm these potatoes,” said Smart, handto death---large pieces of their feshing him the dish, “ for they are almost found upon the banks of the river, and a cold.” “ I'll thank you not to run your little finger picked up next day in an rigs upon me," quote the young Cockney, oyster-shell

, which by the ring upon it looking glumpish,“ or I shall fetch you was knowu to be the captain's. But don't a vipe with this here hash-stick. If one be alarmed, ladies and gentlemen, I dare gives you a binch, you take a hell." say we shall escape any scalding, as we're “ Never mind him, my dear,” cried his all in the cabin, and so we shall only go mother, “ eat this mutton-chop, it will do to the bottom smack! Indeed we may you good; there's no gravy, for Mr. arrive safe---they do sometimes, and I Smart has all the sauce to himself. wish we may now, for nobody loves a Haw! haw ! haw!".-.“ Very good !” exparty of pleasure more than I do. I hate claimed the latter, clapping his hands, to look upon the gloomy side of things egad ! Ma'am, you are as good a wag when we are all happy together (here as your own double chiu.” This was another groan), and I hope I haven't said only ventured in a low tone of voice, and, any thing to lower the spirits of the as the fat dame was at that moment. company."

handing the plate to her son, it was for“ There's no occasion,” cried Smart, tunately unheard. Dick being still rather s for I saw the steward putting water gildy, contrived to let the chop fall into every bottle of brandy.” The laugh upon the floor, an occurrence at which excited by this bon-mot tended in some Mr. Sınart declared he was not in the degree to dissipate the alarm and gloom least surprised, as the young man, when which the boding Mr. Croak had been first he came into the cabin, looked infusing into the party; and Smart, by uncommouly chop-fallen. Dick, howway of fortifying their courage, bade ever, had presently taken a place at the them remark that the sailors were obvi- table, and began attacking a buttock of ously under no sort of apprehension. beef with great vigour and vivacity, pro* Ay," ' resumed the persevering Mr. testing he had got a famous “happetite," Croak, “ they are used to it---it is their

and felt “as ungry as an ound.” “I business.--they are bred to sea."

never say any thing to discourage any they don't want to be bread to the fishes, body,” said Mr. Croak, particularly any more than you or 1,” retorted

young people; it's a thing I hate, but Smart, chuckling at his having the best t'other day a fine lad sate down to bis of the nonsense.

dinner in this very packet, after being « Well,” exclaimed Mrs. Sweetbread, sea-sick, just as you may be doing now, " I never tasted such beer as this--- Alat when it turned out he had broke a as ditch-water; they should have put it blood-vessel, and in twelve hours he was a upon the cullender toʻlet the water run corpse, and a very pretty one he made.” out; and yet you have been drinking it, “I'm not going to be choused out of Smart, and never said any thing about my dipner for all that," replied the youth, it.” “ Madam,'' replied the party thus munching away with great industry, and addressed, laying his hand upon his at the same time calling out—“Steward! heart, and looking very serious, " ! make take away this porter-pot, it rups."-"1

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DINNER IN THE STEAM-BOAT.

341

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doubt that,” cried Smart.---“I say it JUST COME TO TOWN; does," resumed Dick angrily, “the tablecloth is all of a sop."-.-"I'll bet you

Or, a Journey to London. half-a-crown it doesn't.” Done! and “ A LACK A-DAY !” exclained aunt done! were hastily exchanged, when Nr. Deborah, on throwing down the newsSmart, looking round with a smirk, ex paper which she had been reading, “what claimed---" Ladies and gentlemen, I ap- will folks come to at last? I declare my peal to every one of you whether the pot pour brain is all in a whirly-gig at the has not been perfectly still, and nothing number of advertisements that are here has been running but the beer.” This before me; why there's not such a thing elicited a shout at poor Dick's expense, as an old woman to be met with in who sullenly muttered, “I'm not going London. I've made a pretty kettle of to be bamboozled out of an 'alf-crown fish of my matters: 'all my clothes, in that there vay, and vat's more, I bought only two or three years ago, vont be made a standing joke by no are antiquated. I am told that I must man.”..." I don't see how you can,” re

an article of my wardplied bis antagonist," so long as you are robe; my jewels must be reset, my hair sitting."..."Vy are you like a case of must be hidden, my eye-brows must be ketchup?" cried Dick, venturing for once coloured, and I must be wholly trans to become the assailant, and immediately mogrified, and all this to please my two replying to his own enquiry, “because giddy nieces, who look to inheriting my you are a saucebox.”---“Haw! baw!" fortune, and who say that they would be roared his mother, “bravo, Dick!, well ashamed of me if I went out as discreetly done Dick---there's a proper rap for you, and respectably dressed as I used to do Mr. Smart.”---Somewhat nettled at this . when I visited our neighbour the rich joke, poor as it was, the latter returned squire, or the mayor of our country to the charge, by inquiring of Dick 'town. Then again, how to choose amongst why his hat was like a giblet-pie? all these ornaments for the person, and and after suffering him to guess two or these infallible cures for old age? Here three times in vain, cried “because (putting on her spectacles and taking up there's a goose's head in it,” and in the paper) here we have a Kalydor, the stantly set the example of the horse- meaning of which I don't understand, laugh, in which the company joined. which is to beautify the plainest face, Finding he was getting the worst of it, there a bloom to restore the spring tint to Dick thought it prudent to change the features, of which autumn had long ago conversation, by observing that it would taken leave. In another long adverluckily be “’igh-water in the arbour tisement we find oils to make a plentiful when they arrived."---" Then I recom

crop grow upon a sterile forehead, and mend you by all means to use some of bear's grease to produce hair whère none it,” said the pertinacious Mr. Smart, ever grew before. One puff assures us “perbaps it may cure your squint.” tliat a single dose of some revivifying

Both mother and son rose up in wrath cordial will impart the spark of youth to at this personality, and there would in- old age; another challenges all the fallibly have been a bourrasque (as the world to make a wig like what the adver. French say) in the hold, but that there tiser recommends to the public; here a. was just then a treinendous concussion' whole column explains the nature of a upon the deck, occassioned by the fall of dye, which will impart the fine jet hue of the main-boom, and followed by squeaks the raven to an iron grey grandmother ; and screams, of all calibres, from the there something brief, but impressive panic-striken company at the dinner, encourages an old maid with spare locks table. “Lord have mercy upon us!" greasy and straight as a pound of can ejaculated Croak with a deep groan..- dles, to try Mr. Superexcellent's curling “it's all over with us--we are going to Auid, which will bestow on her nutthe bottom---I like to make the best of brown curls as thick and well formed as every thing ---it's my way, and therefore those of her poodle dog; self-adjusting hope that no lady or gentleman will be in corsets invite on one banu; a more imthe least alarmed, for I believe drowning proved model of stays entice on the is a much less painful death than is gene- other; the one is to combine ease and rally supposed." Having run upon deck at this juncture rheumatism and deformity; the other is

proportion, and to give ease to stiff for the purpose of ascertaining the na

to supply the deficiencies of nature, and ture of the accident, which he found to be unattended with the smallest danger, the harbour of breast, changing a thin

to convert the straits of Toolong * into the writer cannot detail any more of the neck of mutton to the plump bosom of a conversation that ensued until their arrival at Calais, which will form the sub •Toulon perhaps the old lady meant. ject of another paper.---New Mly. Mag.

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