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LANGUEDOC KITCHEN ; *

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Or, a Breakfast in France. THE kitchen of a village inn in Languedoc, is enough to damp the strongest appetite. I wished for the pencil of Wilkie at Remoulins, a little village where we breakfasted this morning, While the host, who played as many parts as Buskin in the farce, was killing the devoted fowl, his cat ran away with the sausages intended to garnish it. Poor chanticleer was laid down to finish his death song as he could, while the host pursued puss to her retreat, which was so well chosen, that a third of the sausages were gone before he discovered however, paid dearly for it in the end; for in endeavouring to make her escape under a door, the aperture was so small that her hinder legs and tail were left on the hither side of fit, upon which mine host wreaked his vengeance, by stamping most unmercifully. At last we sat down to grimalkin's leavings; and though the landlord had no "appliances and means" to help him, nor scarcely a stick of wood with which to make a fire, he did contrive, somehow or other, to furnish a very tolerable breakfast; and this seems to be the great merit of French cookery-that it can make something out of nothing. Moliere observes, that anybody can dress a dinner with money and materials; and, if a professed cook cannot do it without, his art is not worth a farthing.

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J. BN.

THE CAMPO SANTO; Or Great Burial Place of Naples: Is situated on a rising ground behind the town, about a mile and a half from the gate. Within its walls are 365 caverns: one is opened every day for the reception of the dead; the great mass of whom, as soon as the rites of religion have been performed, are brought here for sepulture. There were fifteen cast in while we were there, men, women, and children, without a rag to cover them; literally fulfilling the words of scripture "As he came forth out of his mother's womb, naked shall he return, to go as he came!" I looked down into this frightful charnel-house,.--it was a shocking sight, a mass of blood and garbage; for many of the bodies had been opened at the hospitals. Cock-roaches, and other reptiles, were crawling about in all their glory. "We fat all creatures else, to fat us, and we fat ourselves for maggots;

Charles Matthews.

that's the end!" We made the sexton of this dreary abode, who by the way had been employed in his daily work fo eleven years, open the stone of the next day's grave, which had been sealed up for a year. The flesh was entirely gone for in such a fermenting mass, the work of corruption must go on swiminingly. Quicklime is added to hasten the process, and nothing seemed to remain but a dry heap of bones and skulls. What must be the feelings of those, who can suffer the remains of a friend, a sister, a mother, or a wife, to be thus disposed of? Indifferent as I feel to the posthumous fate of my own remains, Heaven grant that I may at least rest and rot alone, without being mixed up in so horrible a human hash as this!

There were some women saying Ave Marias within the square, for the departed souls of their friends; but our arrival took them from this pious work, a and set them upon some calculations, connected with us, and our carriage, and the number of it, to direct them in the selection of lucky numbers in the lottery, upon their return to Naples. Hammersmith.

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CITY OF MERIDA. "MERIDA is considered by travellers to be about half way between Caracas and Bogotà; but I believe there is no accurate computation of the distance. Here are united with extraordinary felicity the greatest gifts of nature, soil, climate, and situation; the first is of that peculiar quality as to be equally adapted to all the productions of a tropical climate, as well as those of northern latitudes, and, in its present imperfect state of cultivation, it yields, within view of the city, cocoa, coffee, and cotton, ind igenous to a warm climate; plantains, maize, all kinds of roots, such as arracacha, yuca, vegetables, and the best of fruits, in high perfection; which require considerable heat; moreover, wheat, barley, peas, potatoes, &c. are equally abundant, although thriving in a comparatively cool atmosphere. In the vale of the Chama, for instance, running at the foot of the Table Land, the heat is probably between 80 and 90°, and at the summit of the mountains, (15,000 feet above the level of the sea,) which form its boundary, and immediately fronting the town, you have perpetual snow. site is most striking and singularly beautiful; ascending from a very steep and narroom the valley by

Its

pass, you gain

the summn of an extensive table land, tending, in a slight degree, towards an inclined plane, as it runs westward. The city commences at the eastern extremity, covering at least a square half league. I can give you but a faint outline of this most picturesque and delightful spot! the city being in the middle region, enjoys a temperature extraordinarily moderate and agreeable; the heat never being oppressive, and cold scarcely sensible, the average is from 67 to 70°. Next to Caracas, this is by far the largest town in the province of Venezuela, and, like it, two-thirds at least is a heap of ruins, from the same melancholy cause : (its population, in 1804, amounting to near 12,000 persons; whereas, at present, 3,000 is probably the extent.) The prodigious velocity of the shock which laid both cities in ruins, is inconceiveable; the distance is nearly 500 miles, and yet the couvulsion was simultaneous ! I assure you I do not exaggerate in setting this forth as the most delightful spot the imagination can paint. What might not be made of it, if peopled by European. families of enlightened ideas, and with sufficient capital to rebuild and beautify the city as its situation deserves?"

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EFFRONTERY.

I HAVE often wondered how Jack I, the attorney, got on in the world; for, to me, his character does not appear to possess one redeeming quality. Every body calls him a liar, a cheat, a rascal; yet every body associates with him he is welcomed even at the houses of the fastidious, and his parties are always filled at home; business pours in upon him from all quarters; and lastly, he has married a woman of high repu'tation and respectability. Surely there must be something very fascinating in his manners and address-he must at least be a complete gentleman. No: his person is any thing but prepossessing; his manners are disgustingly familiar and boisterous; and his conversation abounds in slang and profaneness. How, then, does he get on? Why is not every door shut against him?

Effrontery-Effrontery is the talisman to which he owes his success; it is the "Open Sesamé," which admits him into good society. If he in any way appeared to condemn or to be ashamed of himself, he would be shunned like a common swindler; but he puts a bold face on all his actions: he talks so openly of drinkng, gambling, and cheating, that he seems to take as much pains to convince

the world that he is an adept in all three, as any other mau ever took to conceal his vices.

He catches strangers completely by surprise; they know not what to make of him: in fact he manages his part so well, that while he is in reality playing off his true character, he appears only to be acting; and I have heard many a one say of him, after a first interview, I believe Jack is a good-natured fellow at bottom. He was once employed in a suit against his own father; and so unblushingly did he talk of the matter, that it did not lose him a single acquaintance or friend.

Though Jack began the world pennyless, he is now a rich man. Those who were cheated by him last year-though they abuse him, to be sure-still seem willing to be cheated on, and Jack proceeds in his career as boldly as ever.

This character, I am afraid, is not an uncommon one; at least, innumerable varieties of it are to be met in our intercourse with society.

Throughout life, it has been a subject of surprise to me, how those bold spirits succeed in obtaining their purposes, even with each other. It corroborates the justice of Hudibras's observation

"That the pleasure is as great

In being cheated, as to cheat." In fact, people in general seem ever ready to be imposed on by those who possess dauntless effrontery. I knew an instance, not along ago, of a man who was absolutely concerned in defrauding another of ten thousand pounds; yet, so boldly did he maintain his own character, and utter self-evident falsehood upon falsehood, that his very victim (a man by no means devoid of common sense,) was, the following year, not only ready to enter into fresh engagements with him, but even, on one occasion, accommodated him with letters of recommendation to the Continent.

Be

is another personification of Effrontery, though in a smaller way. It is the very height of his ambition to be thought to mingle in the society of people of rank; and no stone does he leave unturned to attain his end. sides the old trick of bowing to every coronet that he meets, &c. he professes to be intimately acquainted with Sir Walter Scott, and half the celebrated authors of the day; and, to bear himself out, he has bought expensive editions of their works, which he shows about as the gifts of the writers, having their names inscribed on the title-pages. He meets with hundreds who are simple enough to

swallow all his boastings, and who, in their turn, boast of his acquaintance.

In fact, the instances of Effrontery which crowd upon me are almost innumerable. I am often amused at the various forms which it is capable of assuming; and shall perhaps, on some future occasion, again endeavour to amuse my readers by some more illustrations of the subject.-Lit. Gazette.

IMPROVEMENTS OF THE
AGE.

AMONGST all the improvements of the age, none perhaps are more striking than those which have recently been made, and indeed are at present making, in the language of ordinary life. It is not merely by the introduction of foreign words and phrases into the English tongue, nor the designation of places of amusement, or shops, or carriages, by alien titles, that this great alteration is working, but by the adoption of figurative phraseology and elegant expressions, which bid fair to rival the formal foppery of Euphenism.

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Who in these days ever reads of boarding-schools?-Nobody: they are transformed into academies for boys and seminaries for girls the higher classes are "Establishments;" a coach-maker's shop is a "Repository for Carriages;" a milliner's a "Depot," a thread-seller's "Emporium." One buys drugs at a "Medical Hall," wines of a "Company,' and shoes at a "Mart;" blacking is dispensed from an "Institution," and meat from a "Purveyor." These have long been evident, it is true; but we disregard them all in comparing the effect likely to be produced upon society by the adoption of such gross absurdities, with that which probably will result from the introduction into the language itself of others still more glaring.

breakfast, "plunge themselves fearlessly into the bosom of Neptune."

A sheep killed by lightning is a thing unheard of: the animal may be destroyed by the "electric fluid;" but, even then, we should not be told that it was dead: we should he informed that "the vital spark had fled for ever." If the carcase were picked up by a carpenter or shoemaker, we never should hear that a journeyman tradesman had found it: we should be told that its remains had been discovered by an "operative artisan."

For instance, instead of reading, that after a ball the company did not go away till daylight, we are told that "the joyous group continued tripping on the light fantastic toe until Sol gave them warning to depart." If one of the company happened on his way to tumble into a ditch, we should be informed that "his foot slipped, and he was immersed in the liquid element." A good supper is described as making the "tables groan with every delicacy of the season.' " A crowd of briefless lawyers, unbenificed clergymen, and half-pay officers, are enumerated as a "host of fashion" at a watering-place, where we are also informed that ladies, instead of taking a dip before

All little girls, be their faces ever so plain, pitted or pitiable, if they appear at a public office to complain of robbery, or ill-treatment, are invariably "intelligent and interesting;" if they have proceeded very far in crime, they are called "unfortunate females;" should they by any accident have a prospect of becoming mothers, we are informed "that they are in a way that ladies wish to be who love their lords." Childmurder is elegantly termed " infanticide;" and when it is punished capitally, we hear, not that the unnatural mother was hanged, but that "the unfortunate culprit underwent the last sentence of the law, and was launched into eternity,"

No person reads in the newspapers, that a house has been burnt down: he perhaps will find "that the house fell a sacrifice to the flames." In an account of a launch we learn, not that a ship went off the slip without any accident, but that, "she glided securely and majestically into her native element," the said native element being one in which the said ship never was before.

To send for a surgeon if one leg be broken, is out of the question; a man indeed "may be dispatched for medical aid.”

There are now no public singers at tavern dinners-they are "the professional gentlemen;" and actors are all "professors of histrionic art." Widows themselves are scarce they are all "interesting relicts;" and as for nurserymaids, they are now a days universally transformed into " young persons who superintend the junior branches of the family."

These little delicacies and refinements appear to us to threaten the plain, sensible, straight-forward language of John Bull; and however sweet to doublerefined minds, and however charming in very polite society, are in plain narratives and public papers contemptibly absurd.

THE PENITENTIARY. THE Penitentiary at Milbank, Westminster, is again re-opened for the reception of male and female prisoners. The two former removals of prisoners, on account of a general, destructive, and alarming sickness that seized them, will be remembered; and that the sickness was in a great degree attributed to the damp situation of the prison; the want of a free current of air; the poor character of the dietary; and the deficient exercise allowed to the prisoners. Since the removal of the prisoners to separate hulks at Woolwich, the building has been particularly examined by Sir Humphrey Davy and other professors, by five physicians, Dr. Roget, &c., at an expence to the public, it is said, of £2000. Various cleansings and alterations were suggested by them, particularly as regards the ventilation of the Penitentiary Prison; such as an alteration of the walls, the introduction of gratings, &c. to secure a more free current of air; and these amendments, chiefly suggested by Sir Humphrey Davy, it is understood have been extensively attended to. Those alterations, it is expected, will prevent the recurrence of that sickness which has been heretofore will be on a more

and the whole night kept watch before her door, walking backward and forward, to be ready at her call in a any moment, in case of extreme necessity. The night passed quietly; but in the morning, as he was walking by the bank of the stream, seeing him through the crevices, she called to him and presented her babe. The good chief, with tears in his eyes, rejoiced at her safe He told her not to be uneasy, by for a few days, and would soon bring her some nourishing food, and some medicines to take. Then going to his encampment, he ordered all his men to go out a hunting, and remained himself lo guard the camp.-Indian Anecdotes.

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MATRIMONY AND DIVORCE.

HAD the following anecdote been in existence in the time of our great poet Milton, would he not have translated it into his high style, and given it a place in his treatise on the Doctrine and discipline of Divorce? One can easily conceive how he would have chuckled over such a thing in the midst of the bitterness (caused by his wife's misconduct) with which he sat down to compose his "Tetrachordon,' and other tracts on the subject.

"An aged Indian, who for many years

so fatal. The dietary exercise will had spent much of his time among the

ANECDOTE OF

A NORTH AMERICAN INDIAN.

A PARTY of Delawares, in one of their excursions during the revolutionary war, took a white female prisoner. The Indian chief, after a march of several days, observed that she was ailing, and was soon convinced (for she was far advanced in her pregnancy) that the time of her delivery was near. He immediately made a halt on the bank of a stream, where, at a proper distance from the encampment, he built for her a close hut of peeled barks, gathered dry grass 'and fern to make her a bed, and placed a blanket at the opening of the dwelling as a substitute for a door. He then kindled a fire, placed a pile of wood near it to feed it occasionally, and also a kettle of water at hand where she might easily use it. He then took her into her little infirmary, gave her Indian medicines, with directions how to use them, and told her to rest easy, and she might be sure nothing should disturb her. Haying done this, he returned to his men, forbade them from making any noise, or disturbing the sick woman in any manner, and told them that he himself should guard her during the night. He did so,

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white people both in Pennsylvania and New Jersey, one day about the year 1770 observed, that the Indians had not only a much easier way of getting a wife than the whites, but were also more certain of getting a good one; For,' (said he in his broken English,) White man court,court, may be one whole year!-may be two years before he marry!-well! may be then got very good wife-but may ybe not !-may be very cross!-Well now, suppose cross! scold so soon as get awake in the morning! scold all day! scold until sleep; all one!—he must keep him!* White people have law forbidding throwing away wife, be he ever so cross! must keep him always! Well! how does Indian do!-Indian, when he see industrious Squaw, which he like, he go to him, place his two forefingers close aside each other, make two look like one-look Squaw in the facesee him smile-which is all one-he says Yes! so he take him home-no danger he be cross! no, no! Squaw know too well what Indian do if he cross!-throw him away and take another! Squaw love to cat meat! no husband! no meat! Squaw do every thing to please husband! he do the same to please Squaw ! live happy! "Indian Anecdotes.

The pronouns in the Indian language have no feminine gender.

THE FATAL OMEN. A YOUNG nobleman, of high hopes and fortune, chanced to lose his way in the town which he inhabited, the capital, if I mistake not, of a German province, He had accidentally involved himself

among the narrow and winding streets of a suburb, inhabited by the lowest order of the people, and an approaching thundershower determined him to ask a short refuge in the most decent habitation that was near him. He knocked at the door, which was opened by a tall man, of a grisly, and ferocious aspect, and sordid dress. The stranger was readily ushered to a chamber, where swords, scourges, and machines, which seemed to be implements of torture, were suspended on the wall. One of these swords dropped from its scabbard, as the noble man, after a moment's hesitation, crossed the threshold. His host immediately stared at him, with such a marked expression, that the young man could not help demanding his name and business, and the meaning of his looking at him so fixedly. “I am,” answered the man, "the public executioner of this city; and the incident you have observed is a sure augury, that I shall, in discharge of my duty, one day cut off your head with the weapon which has just now spontaneously unsheathed itself." The nobleman lost no time in leaving his place of refuge; but, engaging in some of the plots of the period, was shortly after decapitated by that very man and in

srument.

FALL OF A STONE FROM THE
CLOUDS.

On Friday, the 13th of August, at two o'clock precisely, a dreadful explosion took place at Mr. Spencer's, the little white cottage, Phoebe-place, Holloway, (between two and three miles north of London.) The family, on being alarmed by a loud crash, rushed into the garden to ascertain whence the noise proceeded, and inquired of Mr. Berry, a gentleman of property in the neighbourhood, whether he had been making use of fire-arms for the purpose of destroying dogs? To which he replied in the negative: but smelling a most powerful effluvia of sulphur, they began to examine the spot from whence the smell proceeded, when they found, to their utter astonishment, a stone-like substance, still hot, smelling of sulphur, and of about half a yard in circumference. In its course towards Mr. Berry's back kitchen, it most severely wounded a little girl who was passing a milkman was struck blind, and a working gardener much hurt. The aerolite is in Mr. Berry's possession.

To destroy Worms in Gravel-Walks. Pour into the holes a ley made of wood-ashes and quick lime. This serves also as a good application to destroy insects, when trees are sprinkled it..

for destroying the worms in gravel

walks, a solution of common salt is also found very efficacious.--Mechan. Oracle.

CORRESPONDENTS.

THE EDITOR feels gratified to remark that the MORNING PAPERS avail themselves occasionally of our researches. The concurrent testimonies of authorities so much at issue on points of policy, highly creditable as it is to their im partiality in literary matters, shall stimulate us to greater exertions. A particular Paper of Wednesday last, (a paper that has recently very extensively increased TALENTED manner with which it is its circulation by the ABLE AND now conducted) has an extract from Will the our last sheet, page 238. future extracts, to add the word PORTlearned Editor be kind enough, in his VERBUM SAT. FOLIO, at the close of such paragraphs?

Our ARCHITECTURAL FRIENDS

shall not be overlooked.

We thank C. G. G. for his flattering notice, but fear his anecdote is not generally interesting.

Our kind friend T. 7. S. will find his verses changed, to the head "Mutability," inserted in No. 84,,--his other title was too "hackneyed.”

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PHILO-We sincerely pity this youth's feelings. "Her charming eyes; The lips flowing with kisses;' Sanctity of Feeling,"-certainly operate upon our susceptible nature. But really must procure another vehicle for his tender effusions.

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Perhaps a couplet of Pope's is very applicable to a gentleman who signs himself a " Well-Wisher :" Such shameless bards we have, and yet 'tis true, There are as mad, abandon'd critics, too.

Our humourous correspondent "Quiz," shall have a place in the next Number. We thank him for a former communication, but advise him to confine himself to one species of composition only: he will understand us when we say "A word to the wise is enough."

Will J. H. S. take the same advice? This gentleman must recollect, a man cannot excel in every subject he undertakes.

Our kitchen maid thanks A. D., Zero, (quite below Zero) A. B., and Crito Juvenis: their papers were of the greatest service to this nymph of the broom and scrubbing brush, in kindling her fire this morning.

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