study as hard as I would, I could not understand the meaning of the most simple of the law terms, and my father discovered that what I had read, went into one ear and out of the other. In fine, at the end of one year, when I finished law, I knew no more about it. than if I had never studied it.

What is also very worthy of notice, about this time I was a considerable buck, and my friends took the liberty of calling me a fop, merely because I used to parade through the streets with spurs and green spectacles on. I was also fond of attending the levees of my acquaintances, when I knew they had good wine, and so completely was I under the influence of my ruling passion, that I was always for making the bottle go round.

A merchant's compting-house next brought me up; here I continued another year, and with the same success as in my former occupations. Instead of copying invoices, I read Gil Blas, and when I ought to have been employed at an account-current, was reading Humphrey Clinker. And what is more astonishing I seldom knew more of a book after I had read it than before, and on this account my readers are not to suppose that I am a man of more understanding than themselves---for I assure them

I am not.

Since quitted merchandize I have been a jack of all trades---one day this thing---one day that thing---one day a doctor---one day a lawyer---one day a merchant, and one day nothing at all. I am now in my fortieth year, and thank fortune, or the ladies, I don't exactly know which, I am an honest, civil, young bachelor. I spend most of my time in reading trifling books, and writing all kinds of topics. I have enough to find me in bread without working for it, and thank my ancestors, from whom I have inherited a humorous disposition, I can sing and laugh, and make merry. I keep a quarter cask of the best Madeira upon tap, and when a friend steps in to say--"how are you Geof. ?" I pour him out a glass, without waiting till he tells me he is thirsty.

And now my kind and sociable reader you are as well acquainted with the modest and unassuming Geoffry Gimcrack, Gent. as if you had known him man and boy for upards of nine and thirty years. You will always find him the same good-humoured and gimcrack fellow you have hitherto see him, and I doubt not that after a little longer ac

quaintance you will either be pleased to the life with his productions, or tired to death with them---it's all the same,

MY OLD BOOTS.

I bought them at Exeter last summer, and they withstood all the malice of Devonshire paviours, in a most inconceivable style. The leather was of a most Editorial consistency, and the sole resembled a quarto. It was in them that I revisited the desolate habitation of my infancy; it was their heavy clanging sound which echoed through those deserted apartments. It was in them, too, that I tottered upon the perilous summit of the Ness; and it was in them that I got wet to the knee in the disagreeable tempest which waited upon the Dawlish Regatta. How many pleasant moments, how many dear friends, do they recal to my recollection! It' was with their ponderous solidity that I astonished the weak nerves of one, and trod upon weak toes of another. Every inch of them, old and unfashionable as they are, is pregnant with some delightful, some amiable sensation.

It was in them that I first saw Maria. Like the genius of many, they possessed more intrinsic strength than outward polish.

They served me well, however, and travelled with me to Town. I happened to put them on one wet morning in April. Whatever form or fashion they formerly boasted of, it was altogether extinct; they were as shapeless as au unlicked cub, and as dusky as a cloud on a November morning. I beheld their fallen appearance when on, with some dismay. "I shall be stared at,,,I said, "I had better take them off!" but I thought of their former services, and resolved to keep them on.

They had brought their plated heels from the country, and they inade a confounded noise upon the pavement, as I walked along. Ding, dong, they went at every step, as if I carried a belfrey swung at my toes. "This is a disagreeable sort of accompaniment," I said, "I had better dismiss the musicians !"? Just at that moment, a young Baronet passed me, attended by a fine dog. The dog was in high spirits, and made too much noise for the contemplative mood of his master. "Silence Cæsar ! be quiet Cæsar !" No, it was all in vain, and Cæsar was kicked into the gutter. "That was cruel," I thought, "to dismiss an old servant, because he

was a note too loud! I think I will keep my boots!" I met Hervey, and we walked in the Park together. By the side of my stabile footcase his neat and dapper instep cut a peculiarly smart figure. It was molossus tete-a-tete with Pyrrhic---a skiff moored alongside of a coal barge. Hervey's meditations seemed to be of the same cast; he once or twice turned his eyes to the ground, with, as I thought, no very complacent aspect. "My friends grow ashamed of me," said I to myself, "I must part with my boots !" As I made up my mind to the sacrifice, Lady Eglantine met us with her husband. She was constantly looking another way, nodding familiarly to all the young men she met, and endeavoured to convince the world how thoroughly she despised the lump of earth she was obliged to drag after her. "There is a woman," said Hervey, "who married Sir John for his money, and has not the sense to appear contented with the bargain she has made." What can be more silly than to look down thus upon a man of sterling worth, because he happened to be born a hundred miles from the Metropolis ?---"What can be more silly?" I replied inwardly, "I will never despise my old boots again."

We continued our walk, and Hervey began his usual course of strictures upon the place and company. Hurried away by the constant flow of jest, and wildness with which he embellished his sketches, I soon forgot the boots, which had been the theme of my reflections, and the moral lesson which the subject had produced. There was an awkward stone in the way! Oh my unfortunate heels! I broke down terribly, and was very near bringing down my companion after me. I rose, and went on in great dudgeon, muttering---"This will never do. I must positively cashier my boots!" I looked up; an interesting girl was passing by us, leaning on the arm of a young man, whose face I thought I recognised. She looked pale and feeble; and when my friend bowed to her, with unusual attention, she seemed embarrassed by the civility. "That is Anna Leith," said he; "she made an imprudent match with that young man, about a year ago, and her father has refused to see her ever since. Poor girl! she is in a rapid decline, and the remedies of her physicians have no effect upon a broken spirit. I would never cast off a beloved object for a single false step!"

"I will keep my boots," I exclaimed, "though they make a thousand."

Etoniensis,

ARTS 'AND SCIENCES.

THE LONGITUDE.

The discovery of the longitude_still remains a desideratum, although science has progressively made near approaches to it. In 1598, Philip III. of Spain offered a hundred thousand crowns; and the States of Holland, at the beginning of the 17th century, proposed a reward of thirty thousand florins to the person who should be fortunate enough to solve this difficult and important problem. In 1675, Charles II. erected the Observatory at Woolwich, and appointed Mr. Flamstead his astronomical observer, with the express command that he should apply himself with the utmost care and diligence to the rectifying the table of the motions of the heavens, and the places of the fixed stars, in order to find out the so-much-admired longitude at sea, for perfecting the art of navigation. It was in the year 1714 that the Parliament of Great Britain first began to consider this question as an object of national concern, their attention having been more particularly drawn to the subject by the loss of Sir Cloudesley Shovel's fleet. An Act was accordingly passed in that year, offering rewards to the person who should discover the longitude at sea, proportioned to the degree of accuracy that might be attained by such method, viz.: a reward of 10,0001. if it determines the same longitude to one degree of a great circle, or sixty geographical miles; 15,0001. if it determines the same to two-thirds of that distance; and 20,0001. if it determines it to half that distance. Commis. sioners were appointed to examine the claims of persons, and forward the object of the Act. In 1774, all the Acts concerning the longitude at sea were repealed, except what relates to the Commissioners, and it was enacted, that any person who should discover any method for finding the longitude by means of a time-keeper, should be entitled to a reward of 5,0001. for determining the longitude to, or within, one degree; 7,5001. for determining the same to forty geographical miles and 10,0001. for a determination of within half a degree. Mr. Harrison had previously received the largest reward offered by the first Act; 20,0001., for his celebrated time-keeper in addition to which, the gratuities of the Board of Longitude, of the East India Company, and of others, contributed to augment the whole sum to about 24,0001.

THE EFFECTS OF HEAT, (From Gurney's Lectures on Chemistry)

"Some years since, when a young man, I undertook to build a large organ, and I succceded even beyond my own expectations, which were yet sanguine enough, for it was admitted on all hands that the instrument I produced was one of a remarkably fine tone. It was built on theory, for I had never seen the interior of one till I had finished mine, and knew nothing whatever practically of the construc tion of them. Flushed with this success, I did not see any reason, in theory, to prevent my connecting a piano-forte with my organ; on the contrary, I conceived that they would improve each other. I conceived that, by a union, the bad effect of the sudden stop of the organ would be remedied in a great measure by the cadence of the piano-forte, and the mixed tone of the two would produce an effect pleasing and harmonious to the ear. I ultimately succeeded in practice, and combined the two by the same set of keys, and affixed pedals, so as to enable the performer to play the instruments either separately or together, as might please his fancy. The effect certainly was very delightful, and the expression far exceeded my most sanguine expectations. The instrument being now complete and in fine tone, Finvited my friends to witness the effect of it; and after waiting in anxious expectation I was at last requested to play. I sat down, and, commencing with a fine slow movement, began presently to change my modulation and time into what musicians call an "allegro." Now, then, was the moment to introduce the lively notes of the piano; accordingly I removed my foot from the silent pedal, expecting to enrapture my audience, and receive "showers of applause." But judge of, and pity my feelings when I tell you, that instead of a "concord of sweet sounds," my instrument poured forth the most frightful discords that ever fought together for the especial discomfiture of musical ears! You may easily conceive my chagrin and disappointment. The mischief, (as you will perhaps have anticipated) was occasioned by this property of heat which we are now considering. The number of persons in the room, added to a better fire, perhaps, than was usual, varied the temperature; and, consequently the metallic strings of the piano were expanded by it, their tension became diminished, and of course the notes were all flattened; while those of the organ pipes were rather affected

in the opposite way, so that they produced together a complete separation and discord. The next morning, when the temperature of the room was reduced, the instrument was again in perfect tune."

ANECDOTES.

CHERRY THE DRAMATIST.

In the town of Athlone in Ireland, Ryan relates a circumstance of peculiar dis tress which attended Cherry; but which he bore with all the magnanimity that dramatic ardour could inspire. The business of the theatre, at which he was engaged as an actor, was suspended for a short time, in consequence of the be nefits having turned out badly: the manager was resolved not to waste any more bills, but wait for the races, which were to commence in a few days. Our hero being of a timid and bashful turn, and assisted by a portion of youthful pride, was incapable of making those advances, and playing off that train of theatrical tricks, by which means benefits are frequently obtained in the country, and therefore he had been less successful than many of his brethren. His landlady, perceiving there was no prospect of payment, satisfied herself for the trifle already due, by seizing on the remnant of our hero's wardrobe; and knowing she could dispose of her lodgings to more advantage during the races, turned him out to the mercy of the winter's wind, which he endured with all his former philosophy. rambled carelessly about the streets, sometimes quoting passages to himself, both comic and serious, that were analogous to his situation, but without forming one determined idea of where he was to rest his houseless head. Towards the close of the evening he strolled by accident into the lower part of the theatre, which had formerly been an inn, and was then occupied by a person whose husband had been a serjeant of dragoons, for the purpose of retailing refreshments, &c. to those who visited the theatre. After chatting until it grew late, the woman hinted to our hero that she wished to go to bed, and begged he might retire; upon which he replied, in the words of Don John, "I was just thinking of going home, but that I have no lodging. The good woman taking the words literally, inquired into the cause, with which he acquainted her without disguise. Being the mother of

He

a family, she felt severely for his distressed situation: at that time he did not possess a single halfpenny in the world, nor the means of obtaining one. The poor creature shed tears of regret that she could not effectually alleviate his misfortune. He endeavoured to assume a careless gaiety; but the woman's unaffected sorrow brought the reflection of his own disobedience to his mind, and he dropped tears in plenteous libation: in his grief he saw the sorrow of his parents, whom he had deserted, to follow what he began to perceive a mad career, in despite of the many unanswered remonstrances he had received, with a fair promise of forgiveness and affection, should he return to his business. This philanthropic female lamented that she could not furnish him with a bed, but offered to lend him her husband's cloke, and to procure a bundle of dry hay, that he might sleep in an empty room in her house. His heart was too full to pay his gratitude in words; his eyes thanked her; he wept bitterly, accepted her kind offer, and retired to rest. The intruding any further on her kindness was painful to him, as she was struggling to maintain a numerous offspring. He therefore carefully avoided the house at meal-times, and wandered through the fields or streets until he supposed their repasts were finished: at last, so overcome by fasting and fatigue, that he could not rest, he rose from his trooper's cloke in the dead of the night, and explored the kitchen, searching the dresser and all its shelves and drawers, in hopes of finding something that might satisfy the cravings of his appetite, but in vain. On his return to his hay truss, he accidentally struck against the kitchen table, the noise of which he feared might alarm the family; and uncertain of the real dause of his leaving his apartment at that hour, they might naturally suppose that his purpose was to rob the house, as a reward for their hospitality: the idea added to the misery he then suffered; he trembled, he listened, but all was quiet; & he then renewed his search (for hunger overcame his fears), and to His gratification he found a large crust of stale bread, which he was afterwards informed had been used for rubbing out some spots of white paint from the very coke that composed his bedding; he however ate it with avidity, as he was entering on the fourth day without the least refreshment, and returned heartfelt thanks to Providence, whose omnipotent hand was stretched in the very

It happened that a certain lord paid his addresses to a young lady of rank and fortune. This nobleman had for three years a young girl in keeping. The lady he courted said, Sir I cannot think of marrying you until you have got the lady you were familiarly connected with, a husband. This nobleman who had the deanery of St. Patrick's in his gift, found out Swift one morning, and told him nearly as follows:-Mr. Swift, I pay my addresses to a young lady of rank and fortune, and expect to be married to her as soon as I can do away one circumstance, which is; I lived with a beautiful girl for near three years, whom I seduced; she has poor relations, and the lady I court will not marry me, hearing I had a mistress in keeping, until this girl is married and provided for; now I have to inform you that I have the deanery of St. Patrick's, in Ireland, at my disposal, which is worth nearly a thousand a year, which I will present you with, as I believe you are not very rich, provided you will marry her. The dean said he would on condition that he should be first inducted into the deanship. The nobleman said, if you will give me your bond under a heavy penalty, to marry this young lady, I will induct you, which was done immediately after, and the bord executed, and the dean was, by agreement, to marry the nobleman to the lady first the same day.The dean being inducted into the deanery, appeared in his robes at the church on the day appointed, and married the nobleman who said, I am glad, Mr. Swift, to find you are so very punctual-now we are married, here is the lady you are to marry-the dean replied he was ready, and said, where is the man I am to marry her to?---the gentleman said, she is to be your wife. The dean said, look at the bond, I only bound myself officially, as a minister, to marry her to any person; but I have not the least desire of making her my own wife---and so I wish your lordship a good morning, presuming you have no more occasion for me.

THE BEGGARS QUTWITTED.

A few years since, James Malone, esq. Mayor of Cork, imagining if he could strip the beggars of the miserable and sickly appearance they generally made, he should divest them of the strongest claim to the charity of the humane, came to the following agreement with one Geoghegan, one of the constables, who was by trade a barber, viz.---He directed the barber to seize all the beggars he found strolling within the limits of the city, for each of whom he promised a reward; but instead of bringing them before him (the Mayor) he was to take them to his shop, and there shave, wash, dress, and powder them in the genteelest manner. He seized about half a dozen, and with the assistance of razors, washballs, scissars, and powder puffs, he so completely metamorphosed them, that those whom he apprehended as mendicants, when they left his shop, appeared like macaronies, at least upon the head. This laughable scheme was attended with such success, that the whole tribe (during Squire Malone's mayoralty) avoided his jurisdiction as carefully as if it was visited by a pestilence.

RELIGIOUS INSTRUCTION.

A minister finding his people not to have so much knowledge of their duty to God and their neighbour as they ought to have, was resolved to examine and instruct them at home. Coming to a poor woman's house, amongst other questions, he asked how many commandments there were? "Truly, Sir," said she, "I cannot tell." "Why ten,' said he "A fine company," replied. she, "God bless you and them together." "Well but neighbour," says "do you think you can keep these commandments?" Ah! the Lord in Heaven bless you, Sir, I am a poor woman, and can hardly keep myself! so how can I bear the charge of keeping so many commandments ?"

he,

Going a little farther, he stopt to explain the catechism to some half-grown girls; he told them their christian name was given them at their baptism, when they became christians; desiring them to recollect, should he hereafter repeat the question. After a few intervening observations, he says to one of them; "Well my love, when was your christian name given you' "When I was a baby Sir!"' she replied.

A writer on English grammar gives the following example of wrong emphasis:---A clergyman, on reading the 27th verse of the 18th chapter of the 1st of Kings, generally placed the emphasis on the words denoted by italics---" And he spake to his sons, saying, saddle me, the ass. And they saddled him!"