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think of our scheme? Is it not a deeply pels me to leave you instantly. Farewell, laid design ?"
Mr. Willoughby :" and ere his former pupil 66 Ask me not what I think of such un- could return his valediction, he had descenprincipled meanness," said the tutor, making ded the stairs, and was presently observed to the door. “ I also was not aware of the by the latter hastening along the gravel lateness of the hour. Urgent business com- path with mysterious precipitation.
“ This is a most timely warning, cer- to consider that a connection with the family tainly," soliloquised Alderman Walbrook, of Walbrook would not be altogether disa middle-aged gentleman of considerable creditable to us (my son and myself), and rotundity, as he paced up and down his bearing in mind the state of the young drawing-room. "I am sure I ought to be people's affections, I think I might be grateful to the individual, who, although I brought to extend my consent to their nupam a perfect stranger to him, has so kindly tials.” interested himself in this affair."
think so, do you ?” exclaimed “A gentleman below, Sir, wishes to the Alderman, with a malicious grimace, speak with you on particular business,” as he dived his hand into his coat-pocket. said a servant, entering.
“ Sir Haughtý
But, what if I withhold—” Willoughby.”
“ Your approbation of the match ?” in“ Tell the gentleman I'll wait upon him terrupted the other. “ Impossible, Mr. instantly," cried the Alderman, with a pecu- Alderman, impossible. Reflect, Sir, upon liar emphasis; and, taking one or two turns the antiquity--the rank of the house of round the apartment, for the purpose, aš Willoughby. Why, Sir, my ancestor came it seemed, of calming his ruffled spirits, he in before the Conqueror; and touched upon descended to the parlour.
the coast of Sussex in a boat of his own “ I have waited upon you, Mr. Alderman rigging.” Walbrook," said a tall figure, whose head As
ancestor came in so may you was encased in a very peculiar wig, whose go out, cried the Alderman: “ right hand held with aristocratic nicety a find me in the same boat with you, rely gold-headed cane, and the bridge of whose upon it." nose was surmounted by a pair of Patago- Here's perverseness-here's a specimen nian spectacles: “ I have waited upon you, of the vulgar insolence of wealth," exclaimSir, to confcr with you on a matter of some ed the tall figure, directing the glare of his delicacy and importance."
gigantic eye-glasses full at the face of Wal“Pray be seated, Sir Haughty Willough- brook. “ An alderman, a merchant, increby-nay, no ceremony, I beg of you,” an- dible!-a wholesale vendor of coffee, ginger, swered the Alderman, with a suspicious nutmegs, cloves, cinnamon, mace, and allover-muchness of politeness : “now, Sir spice-oh, monstrous !" Haughty Willoughby, what may be the During this derogatory speech, the Aldernature of your business ?”.
man had sprung upon his legs with ill-supWhy, Sir," replied the other, with an pressed rage, and, drawing from his coatimportant seriousness of air ; “it may pro- pocket a hunting-whip with a frightful bably have reached your ears that a son of supplement of thong, ejaculated an oath mine, Mr. Edward Willoughby, has con- which must by no means be set down in ceived what young gentlemen absurdly this place. term an attachment for your daughter, Miss “ Get out of that wig, Jack Heyday, get Emily Walbrook.”
out of that wig !" roared the Alderman ; “Well, Sir," said the Alderman, with a “lay aside those huge spectacles – throw mischief-boding smirk.
away that gold-headed cane, and let me “ Well, Sir, thus much in few words. bestow upon you one of the best-deserved You cannot be ignorant that mine is a most castigations that was ever earned by an imancient and honourable family: and that I pudent puppy." have a just right to be scrupulous, nay even So saying, the Alderman flourished his punctilious, in all matters that nearly or whip round the body of his nephew with a remotely concern its dignity, Still, after vigour and a skill truly curious and inmuch reflection, I have been prevailed upon structive to behold.
“ Hear me,
“ Hilloah ! a truce-a truce," cried Hey- “ Yes! come along." day, skipping about between the furniture “Good day, my dear uncle." with extraordinary agility.
“ The deuce take that young dog," said Alderman-listen to me, my dear uncle— the Alderman, as he sank breathless into a let me explain—I can, upon my honour.” chair, “nothing will reclaim him, I fear,
Explain! you rascal, explain !” said Hang me, if I think the whip touched him the Alderman. “I wish I could get at you, after all; and, confound my awkwardness! over that chevaux-de-frise of chairs," and I've nearly whipt my own eye out of my here the Alderman attacked the besieged head. Who's there?" youth with renewed energy.
A servant entered the room with a face “ Good gracious! what can be the matter of extreme bewilderment. here!” exclaimed a lady of some fifty years “ Another old gentleman wishes to see as she bounced into the parlour.
Sir?” Walbrook! beating that old gentleman in “ Another old gentleman ! who is he?”. the corner with that great whip~"
6 His name
e-hi-he says is," and the “Yes, Miss Rechy Rantipole, beating that servant presumed to hazard a speculative old gentleman in the corner with this great chuckle—“his name is Sir Haughty Wilwhip,” mimicked the Alderman with an loughby.” unsightly grin. “Just look again at that 6. Are you certain it is not the rascal I old gentleman, will you ?—why it's that got rid of just now?” demanded the Alderrascal of a nephew of yours-Jack Hey, man. day.”
“ Yes, Sir; that old gentleman is gone “ Ha, ha, ha!” laughed Miss Rechy loud with Miss Rantipole to her room.” and long. “Why, Jack Heyday, what Very strange! let him walk in,” muttricks have you been playing now, eh ?” tered the Alderman ; and a tall figure, with
Oh, you know well enough,” said the a wig, spectacles, and gold-headed cane, Alderman. 6 You contrived it, I'll be entered the apartment. sworn ;--but, like that poor sister of The Alderman started—but, no-there yours,"
was a difference. “ Uh! you old bear,” said Miss Rechy. “My name, Sir, is Haughty Willoughby," “But how is this, Jack; how came this said the Baronet, bowing stiffly, and seating about?”
himself with dignity: yours, I presume, “ I'll tell you, presently, Rantipole,” is Walbrook. I have received a commucried the discomfited Jack; “ in the mean nication from a friend the former tutor of time, just hand down a few of these chairs, my son-Mr. Olinthus Humdrumthat's a good girl ; there: well, I'll tell you. Aye,” said the Alderman. I thought, you see, that young Willough- “ In which he informs me, that a nephew by~"
is about to do what I cannot but “ Get out of my sight, you impudent consider a most impertinent thing-namely, villain!" shouted Walbrook, “ prating there to impose himself upon you as Sir Haughty to that fool of an aunt of yours, as though Willoughby, with a view to obtain your nothing whatever had taken place. Get out consent to a certain marriage." of my sight. I had thought, when my “ My dear Sir Haughty, a thousand guardianship was at an end, that I should thanks and pardons for the interruption-I never more be troubled with you—but here also received a letter from the same gentleyou are, a perpetual torment; always plot- man, and was in good time put upon my ting some mischief or another. I'll tell you guard. I have, be assured, sent the decepwhat, Jack Heyday, I'll have a commission tive scoundrel away with a flea in his ear. de lunatico inquirendo out against you, be- “ He has been here, then, Mr. Walfore long; many a saner man than you has brook ?” died at Hoxton, I can tell you.”
“ He has; and I have, I think, made him “ Never mind the old one, come along ashamed of himself.” with me,” said Miss Rechy Rantipole, lug- 56 Then all is well,” said the Baronet, ging her nephew towards the door: “ come rising, and bowing with rigid formality. to my private room, and let us hear all “ Good morning, Mr. Walbrook. I request about it.”
you to believe, however, that had your “ Aye, so I will, Rantipole, so I will,” nephew succeeded in his design, I could replied Jack.' “ Is Emily at home?”. never have been brought to consent to such
a match--so unequal-so-s0 entirely out her for something better than to be the fit of the question."
wife of the eldest son of a paltry Baronet." The Alderman appeared somewhat ruf- “ Paltry, Mr. Walbrook ? paltry ?" said fled and disturbed. He arose, and put on Sir Haughty, turning white with anger. his spectacles, as he advanced towards the “ Yes, paltry!” retorted the Alderman, Baronet.
turning red with rage. “ I really do not see, Sir Haughty Wil- “ I have known the time, Sir, when such loughby,” said he, “the inequality you language must have been answered at the speak of; nor do I altogether understand back of Montague House," cried the Baronet. why such a match should be so entirely out “ The sooner you see the front of mine of the question."
the better, I think," said the Alderman. “Oh, my dear good Sir,” said Sir Haugh- “ My daughter not equal to your son! Ha, ty, with a smile of contemptuous pity, ha! capital.”
pray do not put yourself out of the “ She is not, Sir-she is not !” way.
“ You lie, Sir ; you lie !" cried the Alder“Put myself out of the way!” cried Wal- man, and he sprang to the bell. brook;“ I want to put myself in the way It was well for him that he did so, or the of understanding what you mean?” Baronet's gold-headed cane, which at that
“ What I mean, Mr. Alderman?” moment shivered an inkstand, would pro
“What you mean, Sir Haughty Wil- bably have alighted upon the very centre loughby."
of his scull. “I cannot teach myself to believe,” re- “Take him away, John, take him away!" plied the other, “ that your daughter is a fit exclaimed Walbrook, as the servant enwife for the eldest son of a Baronet.” tered, and laid hands upon Sir Haughty;
My daughter is a proper wife for any and as the Baronet was led out of one door, eldest son in the kingdom,” exclaimed the the Alderman rushed headlong out of Alderman: “ and let me tell you, I design another.
In the meanwhile, Miss Rechy Rantipole, porter's work done here. I would advise à Miss Emily Walbrook, and Jack Heyday, certain knot that'll make the burden sit were assembled in close divan in the bou- lighter; indeed, I have instructed Neď to doir of the former lady.
take out a license forthwith. He'll be here “Well but Jack," said Miss Rechy, “how presently, I have no doubt." ill you must have managed, not to have “Excellent ! Jack,” cried Miss Rechy, in hoodwinked the Alderman! Had you con- ecstacy, “you're a true Rantipole, the very descended to call upon me for assistance, I image of your mother; as for Emily here, could have contrived a better plan.” she's a poor thing in these 'matters.”
“ However good, Rantipole, you are mis- “ Indeed, cousin,” said Miss Emily, adtaken," cried Jack. “Our respective talents dressing Heyday, “I could not think of in the outwitting line are equally great, but taking so rash a step; I must not fly in the of an essentially distinct character. Nothing face of my father.” could have been better than my counter- Fly in his face !" cried Jack; feit presentment of the aristocratical quid- want you to fly away from his face, which, nunc."
by the bye, is far from pleasant; if you “ Then the Alderman must have receiv- wait till old Willoughby gets rid of his ed some previous notice.”
pride, and your father lays aside his obsti“Oh no, there was no time for that; and nacy, Rechy Rantipole will never live to besides no one knew of the plot. Yes, Hum- dance at your wedding.” drum, but he never surely—”
At this moment the door was hastily flung “ But what's to be done, now?” inter- open, and the Alderman strode into the posed Miss Rechy, impatiently. “I can't have this stupid girl pining and languish- So, so," said he, “laying your three ing—"
plotting heads together, l'll warrant: what's By no means," said Heyday, decisively, in the wind now?" “ carrying about the house a weight of woe, “No plot, I can assure you, my dear as they call it. We'll have no sentimental uncle," said Heyday with becoming gravity
-"I was deploring my folly in attempting “ I am resolute," said the Alderman ; what I now feel to be"
" and sincere, upon my honour.” “ A perfect failure," said the Alderman. “ Then you're a good old fellow,” re“ You were deploring, you scoundrel, your turned Jack, “and I don't care if I dine
with you three times a week till further Indeed, Alderman
notice.” “ You lie, Jack Heyday, you lie! But, “ Am I to understand, Mr. Joshua Walto say the truth, you did take off the stiff brook," said Miss Rechy, addressing that old coxcomb to the life. He left me just gentleman, “ that you really mean what
you have just now expressed your determi“Left you !” screamed Miss Rechy. nation of carrying into effect ?” “ Left you!” exclaimed Jack.
“ You are to understand that I do so 66 Oh Heavens !” sighed Miss Emily. mean,” replied the Alderman, with much
Yes, that's what I came to tell you all,” gravity, and making a low bow. resumed the Alderman.
“ Guess what my
“ Then, upon that understanding, I have supercilious gentleman had the audacity to no objection to bestow upon you for this tell me?”
once a mark of my esteem ;” and so saying “What?” cried the three, with charac- the eccentric spinster seized upon the reteristic variety of accent.
luctant Alderman, and impressed upon his “He said that my Emily, there, was not cheek a salute. a fit wife for his son.”
But, my excellent relative, when is the “He did ?” exclaimed Jack, with well ceremony to take place ?” cried Heyday, assumed incredulity.
turning from his cousin and addressing her Well, I'm sure! what next?” said father, who had by this time disengaged himMiss Rechy, “ I shouldn't wonder but he'd self from the rapturous embrace of the say the same of me."
volute Miss Rechy—“ time travels fast,Eh! very likely,” cried the Alderman and there is no reason on earth why we with a grin,
should not proceed to the goal by a matri“ But what answer did you return to this monial railroad. Willoughby, I know, has inost infamous libel ?" demanded Heyday, got a special licence in his pocket.” with an air of interest.
“ He has, has he ? the disobedient young “ I told him she was far too good for the dog," said the Alderman. “Well, the son of a beggarly Baronet.”
sooner the better. I thirst for vengeance “Oh no! oh no!” interposed Miss Emily. on that aristocratical prig. This very day,
“ Silence !” cried Miss Rechy, pinching if you're all bent upon it.” her arm.
“ All!” cried Miss Rechy. “ Now, this “ But I'll be revenged upon him," re- is pleasant. If things had been managed sumed the Alderman, with warmth; “ I'll in this manner thirty years ago, I might show him that he shall not insult my have been Mrs. Somebody.” daughter with impunity. Come here, Jack “ Your husband, I think, Rechy, would Heyday, Mr. Willoughby is your friend. have been Mr. Nobody long ere this," said Is he a man of honour, a gentleman ?” the Alderman, with a laugh of complacency
“He is, Sir," returned Heyday, sur- at his own wit-" the weeds would have prised.
been worn out, Rechy Rantipole." “ Not much money, I fear,” said the “It may be so," replied the spinster, with Alderman musing, -“ but never mind, I unusual seriousness : “but come, Alderman, have plenty of that. The girl shall have let us leave these young people;"—and with him,-and if that don't drive the Baronet a tear on her cheek,-a tribute to some crazy, I don't know what will."
newly-recalled memory, she accompanied “Oh! how good this is of you,” said the Alderman out of the room. Emily, falling into his arms. My dearest
“ No absurd and childish objections, my Papa—"
dear girl," urged Heyday; " I will leave Papa!-pooh! pooh!"interrupted Hey- you at the house of Mrs. Merton. Ned day, whose brain began to ferment, and he shall call for you there,—and we can solemadvanced towards his uncle.
nize forthwith“Do you mean to say, Alderman, that “ But, John, this extraordinary precipiyou are serious in this determination ? no tancy--what will Mr. Willoughby think ?" counterplot, uncle ?"
* Oh! if you ask me what a man about
to be married thinks --I don't know. I only And with entreaties and threats-by half know what I think.”
persuasion and half force, Jack carried away “ And what is that, cousin ?”
his cousin to the house of Mrs. Merton-a “That he's a fool, to be sure," returned friend of the family, the unsentimental Jack. “ There now,'get on your shawl, bonnet, pelisse and other articles of raiment—begone."
“ What can my father want with me, but ere he had proceeded far with these Humdrum ?” said young Willoughby, as, fol- gymnastic feats, he was intruded upon by lowed by that gentleman, he entered a Heyday, who burst into the apartment with. drawing-room in the baronet's house.
out ceremony. “ He will doubtless inform
you Well, here I am! you must come with are ushered into his presence,” replied Hum- me instantly,” cried Jack,—"
your man drum. “ In the meanwhile, I suspect
told me I should find you here, --come “ What do you suspect ?”
along ;—but what's the matter?” “ That I am partly the cause
“ Miserable dog-double-faced villainsion of the interview about to take place.” modern Janus”-and similar exclamations “ How can that be?”
burst at intervals from the recumbent “I ought to have no hesitation in stating," wretch. said Humdrum, with a preparatory cough, “ What's the matter, I say?” reiterated “ that my notions of filial duty and of gene- Heyday. “I met old Humdrum in the ral correctness of conduct were much out- passage, looking like an undertaker in the raged by the plot which I overheard yester- dead season,—that is, when all the world is day morning, and which you must remember alive—what new woe have you been creating was imparted to you by that inconsiderate, between you ?" I
may say vicious, young man, Mr. John 6 Would you believe, Jack," cried WilHeyday.”
loughby, with sudden calmness, Well, Humdrum, well” cried Wil- Humdrum has revealed our plot to my lougbby, alarmed.
father and Walbrook?” “ I felt it my duty, therefore, to commu- “ Then, no wonder I didn't succeed with nicate by letter, to your father and the the Alderman. But Humdrum has been a respectable gentleman who was equally serviceable sinner,"— and he related in brief interested in the business, the design that what we have in full imparted to the reader. was then on foot,--and I hope and believe “ But come, let us be off," resumed Heythat my warning has proved effectual.” day, when the excitement consequent upon
“ The deuce you do!—” cried the youth this unforeseen intelligence had in some enraged; “ then let me tell you, I hope and measure subsided, - no time is to be lost. believe that, after this day, I shall never What delay, in the name of Fabius, are you see your face again, Mr. Olinthus Hum- meditating now?" drum. Good heavens! are you aware of the When parents would thwart the hapdissension you will cause in and between piness of their children,” began Willoughby two families ? Retire, Sir, retire to the de- in an oracular tone,-“ when, as it were, solation of your own conscience-leave the they would immure their offspring" room.”
" Their offspring spring off very fre“ I shall undoubtedly retire, Mr. Edward quently,” said Heyday;“andso come along." Willoughby,” said Humdrum, erect in con- “ And so I will,” cried the other, and scious rectitude, “ Sir Haughty Wil- seizing his hat, the young men were about loughby will at least understand and appre- to hasten from the house, when the digniciate my motives," and he stalked from the fied figure of Sir Haughty obstructed them
in the doorway. Immediately upon the departure of Hum- My dear Edward," said Sir Haughty, drum, the distracted lover “chucked” him- with unusual benignity of expression as, folself upon a sofa, and began to go through all lowed by Humdrum, he entered the room, those evolutions common to the occasion and “ I have something to communicate to you peculiar to the state of feeling they indicate; - but this is your friend Mr. Heyday, I