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CHAPTER LXXXIII.

LAW CASE.

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BULLUM VERSUS BOATUM.

E fhall now return to the law, for our laws are full of returns, and we shall show a compendium of law. [Takes the wig.] Parts of practice. in the twift of the tail. The depth of a full bottom denotes the length of a chancery fuit, and the black coif behind, like a blistering plaifter, feems to fhow us that law is a great irritation, and only to be used in cafes of neceffity. We fhall now beg leave to change the fashion of the head drefs, for, like a poor periwig-maker, I am obliged to mount feveral patterns on the fame block. [Puts on the wig.

2 Law is-law,Law is, law and as fuch and fo forth, and hereby, and aforefaid, provided always, nevertheless, notwithstanding. Law is like a country dance, people are led up and down in it till they are tired. Law is like a book of furgery, there are a great many terrible cafes in it. It is alfo like phyfic, they that take the leaft of it are beft off. Law is like a homely gentlewoman, very well to follow. Law is like a fcolding wife, very bad when it follows us. Law is like a new fashion, people are bewitched to get into it; it is also like bad weather, moft people are glad when they get out of it.

3. We now fhall mention a caufe called "Bullum verfus Boatum;" it was a cause that came before me. The caufe was as follows: There were two farmers, farmer A. and farmer B. Farmer A was feized or pos feffed of a ferry-boat. Now the owner of the ferryboat, having made his boat faft to a poft on fhore, with a piece of hay twisted rope fashion, or as we fay, vulgo vocato, a hayband. After he had made his boat faft to a poft on fhore, as it was very natural for a hungry man to do, he went up town to dinner; farmer B's bull, as it was very natural for a hungry bull to do, came down town to look for a dinner; and the bull obferving, feeing, difcerning, and fpying out, fome turnips in the bottom of the ferry boat, the bull forambled into the ferry boat,-he eat up the turnips, and to make an end of his meal, he fell to work upon the hayband; the boat being eat from

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her moorings, floated down the river, with the bull in it ; it ftruck against a rock; beat a hole in the bottom of the boat, and toffed the bull overboard; whereupon the owner of the bull brought his action against the boat for running away with the hull; the owner of the boat brought his action against the bull, for running away with the boat. And thus notice of trial was given Bullum verfus Boatum, Boatum verfus Bullum.

4. Now the counfel for the bull began by faying, "My Lord, and you, gentlemen of the jury, we are counfel in this c ufe for the bull. We are indicted for running away with the boat. Now, my Lord, we have heard of running horfes, but never of running bulls before. Now, my Lord, the bull could no more run away with the boat than a man in a coach may be faid to run away with the horfes; therefore, my Lord, how can we punish what is not punishable? How can we eat what is not eatable ? Or how can we drink what is not drinkable? Or, as the law fays, how can we think on what is not thinkable? Therefore, my Lord, as we are counfel for the bull in this caufe, if the jury fhould bring the bull in guilty, the jury would be guilty of a bull.”

5. The counfel for the boat obferved, that the bull fhould be non fuited, because in his declaration, he had not fpecified what colour he was; for thus wifely and thus learnedly spoke the counfel; "My Lord, if the bull was of no colour, he must be of fome colour; and if he was not of any colour, what colour could the bull be?" I overruled this motion myself, by obferving the bull was a white bull, and that white is no colour; befides, as I told my brethren, they should not trouble their heads to talk of colour in the law, for the law can colour any thing, This caufe being afterwards left to a reference, upon the award, both bull and boat were acquitted, it being proved that the tide of the river carried them both away, upon which I gave it, as my opinion, that as the tide of the river carried both bull and boat away, both bull and boat had a good action against the water Bailiff.

6. My opinion being taken, an action was iffued, and, upon the traverfe, this point of law arofe, how, wherefore, and whether, why, when, and what, whatsoever, whereas, and whereby, as the boat was not a compos

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mentis evidence, how could an oath be administered? The point was foon fettled by Boatum's attorney declaring, that for his client he would swear any thing.

7. The water Bailiff's charter was then read, taken out of the original record in true law Latin, which fet forth in their declaration, that they were carried away either by the tide of flood, or the tide of ebb; the charter of the water Bailiff was as follows; Aqua bailifi eft magiftratus in choisi, fapor omnibus, fibibus, qui habuerunt finnos et fcalos, claws, shells, et talos, qui swimmare in freshibus, vel faltibus riveris, lakos, pondis, canalibus, et well boats, five oysteri, prawni, whitini shrimpi, turbutus folos; that is, not turbuts alone, but turbuts and foals both together. But now comes the nicety of the law; the law is as nice as a new laid egg, and not to be understood by addleheaded, people. Bullum and Boatum mentioned both ebb and flood to avoid quibbling; but it being proved, that they were carried away neither by the tide of flood, nor by the tide of ebb, but exactly upon the top of highwater, they were non-suited; but such was the lenity of the court upon their paying all costs, they were allowed to begin again de novo.

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CHAPTER LXXXIV.

HONESTY AND GENEROSITY.

POOR man, who was door-keeper to a houfe in Milan, found a purfe which contained two hundred crowns. The man who had lost it, informed by a public advertisement, came to the house, and giving fufficient proof that the purfe belonged to him, the door. keeper reftored it.

2. Full of joy and gratitude, the owner offered his benefactor twenty crowns, which he abfolutely refufed. Ten were then proposed, and afterwards five; but the door. keeper ftill refusing to accept them, the man threw his purfe upon the ground, and in an angry tone cried, “I have loft nothing, nothing at all, if you thus refuse to ac cept of a gift." The door keeper then consented to re ceive five crowns, which he immediately distributed amongst the poor.

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CHAPTER LXXXV.

THE UNGRATEFUL GUEST.

CERTAIN soldier in the Macedonian army, had, in many inftances, distinguished himself by extraordinary acts of valor, and had received many marks of Philip's favor and approbation. On fonie occafion, he embarked on board a veffel, which was wrecked by a vio lent ftorm, and he himself caft on the fhore, helpless, naked, and fcarcely with the appearance of life.

2. A Macedonian, whofe lands were contiguous to the fea, came opportunely to be witness of his diftress, and with all humane and charitable tendernefs flew to the relief of the unhappy ftranger. He bore him to his houfe, laid him on his own bed, revived, cherished, comforted, and for forty days fupplied him freely with all the neceffaries and conveniences which his languishing condition could require.

3. The foldier, thus happily refcued from death, was inceffant in the warmeft expreffions of gratitude to his benefactor, affured him of his intereft with the king, and of his power and refolution of obtaining for him,' from the royal bounty, the noble returns which fuch extraordinary benevolence had merited. He was now completely recovered, and his kind hoft fupplied him with money to puffue his journey.

4. Some time after he prefented himfelf before the king; he recounted his misfortunes, and magnified his fervices; and this inhuman wretch, who had looked with an eye of envy on the poffeffions of the man who had preferved his life, was now so abandoned to all the fenfe of gratitude, as to request that the king would bestow upon him, the house and lands where he had been so kindly and tenderly entertained.

5. Unhappily, Philip, without examination, inconfiderately and precipitately granted his infamous requeft; and this foldier now returned to his preferver, and repaid his goodness, by turning him from his little fettlement, and taking immediate poffeffion of the fruits of his honest induftry. The poor man, ftung with this inftance of unparalleled ingratitude and infenfibility, boldly determin

ed, inftead of fubmitting to his wrongs, to feek relief. In a letter addreffed to Philip, he reprefented his own and the foldier's conduct in a lively and affecting manner.

6. The king was inftantly fired with indignation; he ordered that juftice fhould be done without delay; that the poffeffions fhould be immediately restored to the man, whofe charitable offices had been thus horribly repaid; and having ordered the foldier to be feized, caused these words to be branded on his forehead, the ungrateful gueft; a character infamous in every age, among all nations; but particularly among the Greeks, who, from the earliest times, were most scrupulously obfervant of the laws of hofpitality.

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CHAPTER LXXXVI.

THE PRUDENT JUDGE.-An Eafiern Tale.

MERCHANT who on account of business, was obliged to vifit foreign countries, entrusted to a Dervife, whom he confidered as his friend, a purse contain. ing a thousand fequins, and begged him to keep it till his return. At the end of a year the merchant returned, and asked for his money; but the deceitful Dervife affirmed that he had never received any.

2. The merchant fired with indignation at his perfidi. ous conduct applied to the Cadi. "You have had more honesty than prudence," faid the judge; "You ought not to have placed fo much confidence in a man of whose fidelity you were not fufficiently affured. It will be difficult to compel this cheat to restore a depofit which he received when no witneffes were prefent Go to him again, address him in a friendly manner, without informing him that I am acquainted with the affair, and return to me to-morrow at the fame hour."

3. The merchant obeyed, but instead of getting his money, he received only abufe} While the debtor and creditor were difputing, a flave arrived from the Cadi, who invited the Dervife to pay a visit to his master. The Dervife accepted the invitation. He was introduced into a grand apartment, received with friendship, treated with the fame refpect as if he had been a man of the most dis tinguished rank.