But I show'd him a screw, which I told my brisk

gull

A trepan was for bottles had broken their scull;
Which, as it was true, he believ'd without doubt,
But 'twas I that apply'd it, and pull'd the cork out.
Bounce, quoth the bottle, the work being done,
It roar'd, and it smok'd, like a new fir'd gun;
But the shot miss'd us all, or else we'd been routed,
Which yet was a wonder, we were so about it.
Mine host pour'd and fill'd, till he could fill no
fuller:

"Look here, sir," quoth he, "both for nap and for colour,

Sans bragging, I hate it, nor will I e'er do't;

I defy Leek, and Lambhith, and Sandwich, to boot." By my troth, he said true, for I speak it with tears, Though I have been a toss-pot these twenty good

years,

And have drank so much liquor has made me a debtor,

In my days, that I know of, I never drank better: We found it so good, and we drank so profoundly, That four good round shillings were whipt away roundly;

And then I conceiv'd it was time to be jogging, For our work had been done, had we staid t'other

noggin.

From thence we set forth with more mettle and

spright,

Our horses were empty, our coxcombs were light; O'er Dellamore forest we, tantivy, posted,

Till our horses were basted as if they were roasted : In truth, we pursu'd might have been by our haste, And I think sir George Booth did not gallop so fast,

Till about two o'clock after noon, God be blest, We came, safe and sound, all to Chester i' th' west. And now in high time 'twas to call for some meat, Though drinking does well, yet some time we must

eat;

And i'faith we had victuals both plenty and good, Where we all laid about us as if we were wood: Go thy ways, mistress Anderton, for a good wo

man,

Thy guests shall by thee ne'er be turn'd to a com

mon;

And whoever of thy entertainment complains,
Let him lie with a drab, and be pox'd for his pains.
And here I must stop the career of my Muse,
The poor jade is weary, 'las! how should she

choose!

And if I should farther here spur on my course, I should, questionless, tire both my wits and my horse :

To night let us rest, for 'tis good Sunday's even, To morrow to church, and ask pardon of Heaven, Thus far we our time spent, as here I have penn'd

it,

An odd kind of life, and 'tis well if we mend it: But to morrow (God willing) we'll have t'other

bout,

And better or worse be't, for murther will out,
Our future adventures we'll lay down before ye,
For my Muse is deep sworn to use truth of the

story.

CANTO II.

AFTER seven hours' sleep, to commute for pains taken,

A man of himself, one would think, might awaken;
But riding, and drinking hard, were two such spells,
I doubt I'd slept on, but for jangling of bells,
Which, ringing to mattins all over the town,
Made me leap out of bed, and put on my gown,
With intent (so God mend me) I have gone to the
choir,

When straight I perceived myself all on a fire;
For the two fore-nam'd things had so heated my
blood,

That a little phlebotomy would do me good

I sent for chirurgion, who came in a trice,
And swift to shed blood, needed not be call'd twice,
But tilted stiletto quite thorough the vein,

From whence issued out the ill humours amain;
When having twelve ounces, he bound up my arm,
And I gave him two Georges, which did him no
harm:

But after my bleeding, I soon understood
It had cool'd my devotion as well as my blood;
For I had no more mind to look on my psalter,
Than (saving your presence) I had to a halter;
But, like a most wicked and obstinate sinner,
Then sat in my chamber till folks came to dinner :
I din'd with good stomach, and very good cheer,
With a very fine woman, and good ale and beer;
When myself having stuff'd than a bag-pipe more

full,

I fell to my smoking until I grew dull;

And, therefore, to take a fine nap thought it best,
For when belly full is, bones would be at rest:
I tumbled me down on my bed like a swad,
Where, O! the delicious dream that I had!
Till the bells, that had been my morning molesters,
Now wak'd me again, chiming all in to vespers;
With that starting up, for my man I did whistle,
And comb'd out and powder'd my locks that were

grizle ;

Had my clothes neatly brush'd, and then put on my sword,

Resolv'd now to go and attend on the word.

Thus trick'd, and thus trim, to set forth I begin, Neat and cleanly without, but scarce cleanly with

in;

For why, Heaven knows it, I long time had been A most humble obedient servant to sin:

And now in devotion was even so proud,

I scorned (forsooth) to join pray'r with the crowd;
For though courted by all the bells as I went,
I was deaf, and regarded not the compliment,
But to the cathedral still held on my pace,

As 'twere, scorning to kneel but in the best place.
I there made myself sure of good music at least,
But was something deceiv'd, for 'twas none of the
best:

But, however, I staid at the church's commanding Till we came to the peace passes all understanding, Which no sooner was ended, but whir and away, Like boys in a school when they've leave got to play;

All save master mayor, who still gravely stays

Till the rest had left room for his worship and's

mace:

Then he and his brethren in order appear,
I out of my stall, and fell into his rear;
For why, 'tis much safer appearing, no doubt,
In authority's tail, than the head of a rout.

In this rev'rend order we marched from pray’r;
The mace before me borne as well as the may’r;
Who looking behind him, and seeing most plain
A glorious gold belt in the rear of his train,
Made such a low congé, forgetting his place,
I was never so honour'd before in my days:
But then off went my scalp case, and down went
my fist,

Till the pavement, too hard, by my knuckles was

kist;

By which, though thick-scull'd, he must understand

this,

That I was a most humble servant of his;

Which also so wonderful kindly he took,

(As I well perceiv'd both b' his gesture and look) That to have me dogg'd home he straightway appointed,

Resolving, it seems, to be better acquainted.

I was scarce in my quarters, and set down on crup

per,

But his man was there too, to invite me to supper:
I start up, and after most respective fashion
Gave his worship much thanks for his kind invita-

tion;

But begg'd his excuse, for my stomach was small,
And I never did eat any supper at all;

But that after supper I would kiss his hands,
And would come to receive his worship's com-

mands.