POLITICS: AN EPISTLE то THE EDITOR: BY FLACCUS. 'Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.' - JOHNSON. MY DEAR MECENAS: in this noisy time, From the high watch-tower of thine elbow-chair, An active spur, their rivals never feel. Proclaim them plunderers, banded to destroy: - Law, justice, freedom on destruction's brink; No fouler maxim 'scaped the devil's lair That men in crowds may stoop to deeds of shame, By others shared were no disgrace at all: The most obsequious of the servile class; But were there some whose lofty shining name Grant to the half what should be given to all,* Oh! sad decline-oh! fatal barter base! When Freedom's champions honor yield for place: Enough reproach!- they need it not who feel. The muse forbears, when conscience' self shall scourge To such, defeat can scarcely add a sting, Time was, the highway up to public fame By honest hearts was travelled without shame ; Albeit too glad to win the humblest fame, I would not seek what must be sought through shame. *And to party give up what was meant for mankind.'-GOLDSMITH. If I must sell my freeman's right of speech, Nor hold a thought save what my masters teach; If I must balk my rival in the race, And though convinced keep unconverted still; Than purchase honors at a price so dear; With spurring wish, but halting power to climb; With dogging critics yelping at my heels, Where, though the loud world haply scorns to hear, A friendly few still lend a willing ear: Oh! sure the bard not wholly chants in vain Adieu! my friend; although my anxious mind When peace o'erpowers them with her moonlight blaze, And cheer the nations as in days gone by! VOLTAIRE. WRITTEN ON A BLANK LEAF OF ONE OF HIS WORKS. VOL. XVI. COULD Reason with a scornful laugh he bribed, Won by a jest, or by a jeer proscribed, A sneer the touchstone, ridicule the test, His page the brightest shines, if not the best; But, foiled by TRUTH, these twinklers fade away, 63 WRIT DOWN BY THE SUFFERER, AS SOON AS HE GOT OVER 17 CHARLES, you must go with me to Mrs. Brown's to-night.' 'Me! Why, Ellen, you know—' 'That you have never been to a party before,' I suppose. So much the more reason why you should go now. Here you are, eighteen years old, and half through college. It's high time to make a beginning.' 'I don't know what under heaven I should do there.' What all the other young men do; talk to the ladies.' 'I'm afraid I could n't do much that way. To tell you the truth, I have n't 'small talk' enough to go to a party.' Vastly complimentary! But suppose you pull down your towering intellect a little, and condescend to lay aside your books for one night, and mingle with us ordinary mortals, on a footing of equality. It won't do you any serious injury.' 'But, Ellen, I have no invitation.' 'Because, Mrs. Brown did not know that you were here. If she had heard of your arrival in town, she would certainly have sent you one. Don't you remember she gave you a general invitation last winter?' I was not altogether convinced by this logic; but my cousin was determined to take no excuse. Finding escape impossible, I resigned myself to my fate, and went to Stewart's for a pair of white kids. Parties and balls have always been my especial detestation. I have often wondered why they were invented; and after many profound cogitations on the subject, could only find these two reasons; first to enable ladies and gentlemen of fashion to kill time; and secondly, to afford a sort of market, where young women may be shown off to the best advantage, and young men most readily entangled in the snares of Cupid and Hymen. Now, touching the first of these motives, I never find the hours hang heavy on my hands. 'Ars longa, vita brevis.' 'Art is long and time is fleeting,' as LONGFELLOW translates it; and I have always quite as much to do as I can conveniently manage. With respect to the second, I hve never been matrimonially inclined; and least of all just now, when it requires all my energies to support my single self. Heaven knows what I should do with a wife and two or three small But I am digressing. Suffice it to say, I have no earthly motive to go to parties of any kind, except it should be the supper; and that, to use a common but expressive phrase, don't pay. But I write of a time when I was younger. I had not then seen the folly' of the thing; and I consented in despite of my better judgment. The eventful hour of my first appearance' drew nigh. I arrayed myself for the nonce in a full-dress suit, with pumps and silk stockings. I abominate pumps. They seem to have been invented on purpose to cripple the wearer. If they are tight, you are kept in continual torment; if loose, they threaten to slip off every moment; and you are forced to manœuvre about in them like a cat shod with walnuts. The man who first introduced dress-boots, deserves to be enrolled among the benefactors of the human race. But at this time, they were not generally worn; so I crammed my feet, as I have said, into a pair of pumps. Having performed my ablutions with the most scrupulous care, and ascertained, by divers surveys, that I was comme il faut' in every respect, I emptied about half the contents of a bottle of Cologne upon my white 'kerchief, took a moderate draught out of the same, (I mean the bottle,) by way of inspiring myself with a little Dutch courage, and then drawing on my new gloves, I sallied forth. Now behold us, myself and cousin, descending from the dressingroom to Mrs. Brown's well-filled parlor. I heartily wished myself safe home again; for in spite of the Cologne, I felt a sort of all-overishness which, as the novel-writers say, ' can be more easily imagined than described.' It was not modesty, nor bashfulness: these are commodities with which I was never overstocked. I could even then, at an examination, rattle off an extempore translation of a passage which I had never before seen, with such rapidity as to puzzle the professor completely; or hold a half-hour's altercation in the recitation-room with the tutor, on the proper reading of a line in Homer; and since that time, I have delivered lectures, addressed political meetings, called on very particular friends to borrow money; and performed various other acts, which require an extra quantity of brass. It was the sense of utter unfitness for my present situation, of being completely ineptus, as the old Romans used to call it; it was the consciousness of being as much out of my element as a shad would be on the top of a church steeple. I hate to be a cipher any where : here I was the veriest of ciphers. We had exchanged the usual civilities with our hostess; my cousin was surrounded by a group of beaux, and I stood still and silent, without the slightest idea of what was to be done next. A young man approached in a claret-colored coat, yellow gloves, and blue cravat. He was one of those cousins or nephews who are always at hand, on such occasions, to make themselves 'generally useful.' Mrs. Brown introduced him: we bowed and shook hands, after the most approved fashion. 'Do you dance, Mr. Cebe?' Ye es, that is I believe I know how.' Let me have the pleasure of introducing you to a young lady,' quoth he; and taking possession of my unresisting arm, he dragged me through the crowd, half across the room, and presently came to a sudden halt in front of a Miss, apparently some fifteen years old. Miss Cleveland, allow me to have the pleasure of introducing to you Mr. Cebe.' 'Good evening, Miss Cleveland,' said I, executing a bow with all the grace I could muster. Off shot my evil genius in the yellow gloves, leaving me sub cultro. Miss Cleveland murmured something in reply which I did not hear; then she looked down at her feet very sentimentally, and presently the little foot moved' à la Eve Effingham. Prenez garde! I am getting on dangerous ground. The amiable Mr. Effingham may |