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Thou shalt ha' my letter to mistress Amo. Ana. They are the vessels
Of pride, lust, and the cart.
Love. Good zeal, lie still Dol. Pox upon you, rogue !
A little while ! Would I had but time to beat thee.
Trib. Peace, deacon Ananias! Face. Subtle,
Love. The house is mine here, and the doors Let's know where you set up next; I'll send you
are open: A customer, now and then, for old acquaintance: If there be any such persons as you seek for, What new course ha' you?
Use your authority, search on o' God's name. Sub. Rogue, I'll hang myself:
I'm but newly come to town, and finding That I may walk a greater devil than thou, This tumult 'bout my door, to tell you true, And haunt thee i'the flock-bed, and the buttery. It somewhat ’maz'd me; 'till my man here,
My more displeasure, told me he'd done
Somewhat an insolent part, let out my house,
Belike presuming on my known aversion LOVE-WIT, Officers, MAMMON, SURLY, Face, From any air o' the town, while there was sickKASTRIL, ANANIAS, TRIBULATION, DRUG
ness, GER, and Dame PLIANT.
To a doctor and a captain ; who, what they are, Love. What do you mean, my masters ? Or where they be, he knows not. Mam. Open your door,
Mam. Are they gone?
[They enter. Cheaters, bawds, conjurers.
Love. You may go in and search, sir. Here, Offi. Or we'll break it open.
I find Love. What warrant have you?
The empty walls worse than I left 'em, smok’d, Offi. Warrant enough, sir, doubt not : A few crack'd pots and glasses, and a furnace, If you'll not open it.
The ceiling fill'd with poesies of the candle: Love. Is there an officer there?
And madam, with a dildo, writ o' the walls. Offi. Yes, two or three for failing.
Only one gentlewoman I met here, Love. Have but patience,
That is within, that said she was a widowAnd I will open it straight.
Kast. Ay, that's my sister. I'll go thump her. Fuce. Sir, ha'you done?
Where is she? Is it a marriage ? perfect ?
Love. And should ha' married a Spanish count, Love. Yes, my brain
but he, Face. Off with your ruff and cloak then ; be When he came to’t, neglected her so grossly, yourself, sir !
That I, a widower, am gone through with her. Sur. Down with the door.
Sur. How! have I lost her then ? Kast. 'Slight, ding it open,
Love. Were you the Don, sir? Love. Hold, hold, gentlemen!
Good faith, now, she does blame you extremely, What means this violence ?
and says Mam. Where is this collar?
You swore, and told her, you had ta’en the pains Sur. And my captain Face ?
To dye your beard, and umbre o'er your face, Mam. These day-owls.
Borrow'd a suit and ruff, all for her love! Sur. That are birding in men's purses. And then did nothing. What an oversight, Mam. Madam Suppository!
And want of putting forward, sir, was this ! Kast. Doxy, my sister.
Well-fare, an old harquebuseer yet, Ana. Locusts of the foul pit!
Could prime his powder, and give fire, and hit, Trib. Profane as Bel and the Dragon ! All in a twinkling ! Ana. Worse than the grashoppers, or the lice Mam. The whole nest are fled! of Egypt !
(Coming forth. Love. Good gentlemen, hear me. Are you Love. What sort of birds were they? officers,
Mam. A kind of choughs, And cannot stay this violence !
Or thievish daws, sir, that have pick'd my purse Offi. Keep the peace !
Of eightscore and ten pounds within these five Love. Gentlemen, what is the matter? whom
weeks, do you seek?
Beside my first materials; and my goods Mam. The chemical cozener!
That lie i' the cellar: which I'm glad they ha' Sur. And the captain Pandar.
left. Kast. The nun, my sister.
I may have home yet. Mam. Madam Rabbi!
Love. Think you so, sir? Ana. Scorpions and caterpillars!
Mam. Ay. Love. Fewer at once, I pray you.
Love. By order of law, sir, but not otherwise. Offi. One after another, gentlemen, I charge Mam. Not mine own stuff? you,
Love. Sir, I can take no knowledge By virtue of my staff
That they are yours, but by public means
If you can bring certificate that you were gulld Ana. I am strong, of 'em,
And will stand up, well girt, against an host Or any formal writ out of a court,
That threaten Gad in exile. That you did cozen yourself, I will not hold them. Love. I shall send you Mam. I'll rather lose 'em.
To Amsterdam, to your cellar. Love. That you shall not, sir,
Ana. I will pray there By me, in troth. Upon these terms they are Against thy house: may dogs defile thy walls, yours.
And wasps and hornets breed beneath thy roof, What should they ha' been, sir? turn’d into This seat of falsehood, and this cave of coz’nage! gold all ?
Love. Away, you Harry Nicolas, do you talk ? Mam. No: I cannot tell.
(Beats DRUGGER away. It may be they should. What then?
Face. No, this was Abel Drugger.-Good sir, Love. What a great loss in hope have you
(To the Parson. sustain'd!
And satisfy him ; tell him, all is done: Mam. Not I, the commonwealth has.
He staid too long a-washing of his face. Puce. Ay, he would ha' built
The doctor he shall hear of him at Westchester; The city new, and made a ditch about it And of the captain, tell him, at Yarmouth; or Of silver, should have ran with cream from
Some good port-town else, lying for a wind.Hogsdon :
If you get off the angry child, now, sirThat, every Sunday in Moorfields, the younkers,
Kast, Come on, you ewe, you have match'd And tits, and tomboys, should have fed on gratis. most sweetly, ha' you not?
Mam. I will go mount a turnip-cart, and preach Did not I say, I would never ha' you tupp'd To the end o' the world, within these two months.
(To his Sister. Surly, what! in a dream ?
But by a dubb'd boy, to make you a Lady-Tom? Sur. Must I needs cheat myself,
Slight, you are a mammet! O, I could touse With that same foolish vice of honesty!
you now. Come, let us go, and hearken out the rogues. Death, mun’ you marry with a pox! That Face I'll mark for mine, if e'er I meet him. Love. You lie, boy; Face. If I can hear of him, sir, I'll bring you As sound as you; and I'm aforehand with you. word
Kast. Anon! Unto your lodging :-for, in troth, they were Love. Come, will you quarrel ! I will seize strangers
you, sirrah. To me:- I thought them honest as myself, sir. Why do you not buckle to your tools ? Trib. 'Tis well, the saints shall not lose all Kast. God's light!
yet. Go, [They come forth. This is a fine old boy as e'er I saw! And get some carts
Love. What, do you change your copy now? Love. For what, my zealous friends ?
Proceed, Ana. To bear away the portion of the righteous Here stands my dove ! stoop at her if you dare. Out of this den of thieves.
Kast. 'Slight, I must love him! I cannot chuse, Love. What is that portion ?
i'faith, Ana. The goods, soinetime the orphans, that And I should be hang’d for't.-Sister, I protest the brethren
I honour thee for this match. Bought with their silver pence.
Love. O, do you so, sir? Love. What, those i' the cellar,
Kast. Yes; and thou canst take tobacco, and The knight sir Mammon claims?
drink, old boy, Ana. I do defy
I'll give her five hundred pound more to her The wicked Mammon, so do all the brethren,
marriage Thou profane man. I ask thee, with what con- Than her own state. 'science
Love. Fill a pipeful, Jeremy: Thou canst advance that idol against us
Face. Yes, but go in, and take it, sir. That have the seal? Were not the shillings num- Love. We will. bered
I will be rul'd by thee in any thing, Jeremy. That made the pounds ? Were not the pounds Kast. 'Slight, thou art not hide-bound! Thou told out
art a jovy boy !Upon the second day of the fourth week, Come let's in, † pray thee, and take our whiffs. In the eighth month, upon the table dormant, Love. Whiffin with your sister, brother boy.The year of the last patience of the saints
That master Six hundred and ten?
That had receiv'd such happiness by a servant, Love. Mine earnest vehement botcher, In such a widow, and with so much wealth, And deacon also, I cannot dispute with you, Were very ungrateful, if he would not be But, if you get you not away the sooner, A little indulgent to that servant's wit, I shall confute you with a cudgel.
And help his fortune, though with some small Ana. Sir
strain Trib. Be patient, Ananias.
Of his own candour.-Therefore, gentlemen,
And kind spectators, if I have outstripp'd
Face. So I will, sir.-Gentlemen,
Yet 'twas decorum.--And though I am clean
RULE A WIFE AND HAVE A WIFE.
Pleasure attend ye, and about ye sit
Take no example neither to begin, The springs of mirth, fancy, delight and wit! For some by precedent delight to sin: To stir you up, do not your looks let fall, Nor blame the poet if he slip aside, Nor to remembrance our late errors call, Sometimes lasciviously, if not too wide, Because this day we're Spaniards all again, But hold your fans close, and then smile at ease; The story of our play : and our scene Spain :- A cruel scene did never lady please. The errors too, do not for this cause hate, Nor, gentlemen, pray be not you displeas’d, Now we present their wit and not their state. Though we present some men fool’d, some disNor, ladies! be not angry if you see
eas'd, A young fresh beauty, wanton and too free, Some drunk, some mad: we mean not you, Seek to abuse her husband;--still 'tis Spain,
you're free, No such gross errors in your kingdom reign! We tax no farther than our comedy. We are vestals all, and though we blow the fire, You are our friends !-sit noble, then, and see. We seldom make it flame up to desire :
tain. CLARA. First Lady. Second Lady ALTEA.
With a light rein to rule my wife: if ever SCENE I.
Of the most subtile mould went beyond me, Enter JUAN DE CASTRO and MICHAEL PEREZ.
I would give the boys leave to hoot me out o' Mich. ARE your companies full, colonel?
th' parish. Juan. No, not yet, sir : Nor will be this month yet, as I reckon;
Enter Serdant. How rises your command ?
Sero. Sir, there be two gentlewomen attend to Mich. We pick up still, and as our monies
speak hold out, We have men come: about that time I think Juan. Wait on 'em in. We shall be full too; many young gallants go. Mich. Are they two handsome women? Juan. And unexperienced.
Sero. They seem so, very handsome, but they The wars are dainty dreams to young hot spirits,
are veil’d, sir. Time and experience will allay those visions ; Mich. Thou put'st sugar in my mouth, how it We have strange things to fill our numbers.
melts with me? There's one Don Leon, a strange goodly fellow, I love a sweet young wench. Recommended to me from some noble friends, Juan. Wait on them in, I say.
[Erit Sero. For my Alferes ; had you but seen his person, Mich. Don Juan. And what a giant's promise it protesteth.
Juan. How you itch, Michael ! how you Mich. I have heard of him, and that he hath
burnish! serv'd before too.
Will not this soldier's heat out of your bones yet? Juan. But no harm done, nor never meant, Do your eyes glow now? Don Michael,
Mich. There be two. That came to my ears yet; ask him a question, Juan. Say honest, what shame have you then? He blushes like a girl, and answers little,
Mich. I would fain see that; To the point less; he wears a sword, a good one, I have been in the Indies twice, and have seen And good clothes too, he is whole skinn'd, has strange things, no hurt yet,
But two honest women !- -one I read of oncc. Good promising hopes; I never yet heard cer- Juan. Prithee, be modest. tainly
Mich. I'll be any thing. Of any gentleman that saw him angry. Mich. Preserve him, he'll conclude a peace, if | Enter Servant, Donna CLARA, and ESTIFANIA,
veiled. need be ; Many as strong as he will go along with us, Juan. You are welcome, ladies. That swear as valiantly as heart can wish,
Mich. Both hooded ! I like 'em well though: Their mouths charg'd with six oaths at once, and They come not for advice in law sure hither; whole ones,
May be they would learn to raise the pike. That make the drunken Dutch creep into mole- I am for 'em: they are very modest, 'tis a fine bills.
preludium. Juan. 'Tis true, such we must look for: but Juan. With me, or with this gentleman, Michael Perez,
Would you speak, lady? When heard you of Donna Margarita, the great Clura. With you, sir, as I guess, Juan de Castro. heiress?
Mich. Her curtain opens, she is a pretty Mich. I hear every hour of her, though I
gentlewoman. never saw her,
Juan. I am the man, and shall be bound to She is the main discourse: noble Don Juan de
do any service to your beauties. How happy were that man could catch this Clara. Captain, I hear you are marching down wench up,
to Flanders, And live at ease ! she is fair, and young, and To serve the catholic king. wealthy.
Juan. I am, sweet lady. Infinite wealthy, and as gracious too
Clara. I have a kinsman, and a noble friend, In all her entertainments, as men report. Employ'd in those wars; may be, sir, you know him, Juan. But she is proud, sir, that I know for Don Campusano, captain of carbines, certain.
To whom I would request your nobleness, And that comes seldom without wantonness. To give this poor remembrance. (A letter. He that shall marry her, must have a rare band. Juan. I shall do it, • Mich. Would I were married, I would find I know the gentleman, a most worthy captain. that wisdom,
Clara. Something in private.