Estif. Go, silly fool! thou may'st be a good soldier

In open field, but for our private service

else.

Enter CACAFOGO.

Here comes another trout that I must tickle, And tickle daintily, I have lost my end else.May I crave your leave, sir?

Cac. Prithee be answered, thou shalt crave no leave;

I am in my meditations, do not vex me. A beaten thing, but this hour a most bruised thing,

That people had compassion on, it looked so: The next sir Palmerin; here's fine proportion, An ass and then an clephant :-Sweet justice! There's no way left to come at her now, no

craving.

If money could come near, yet I would pay him: I have a mind to make him a huge cuckold, And money may do much :-A thousand ducats! 'Tis but the letting blood of a rank heir.

Estif. Pray you, hear me!

Cac. I know thou hast some wedding-ring to pawn now,

Of silver and gilt, with a blind posie in't;
Love and a mill-horse should go round together,
Or thy child's whistle, or thy squirrel's chain :
I'll none of 'em:-I would she did but know me;
Or would this fellow had but use of money,
That I might come in any way.

Estif. I am gone, sir,

And I shall tell the beauty sent me to ye, The lady Margarita

Cuc. Stay, I prithee,

What is thy will?-I turn me wholly to ye,
And talk now till thy tongue ach, I will hear
Estif. She would intreat you, sir-
Cac. She shall command, sir!

ye.

Let it be so, I beseech thee, my sweet gentlewoman!

Do not forget thyself.

Estif. She does command then

This courtesy, because she knows you are noble. Cac. Your mistress by the way?

Estif. My natural mistress.

Upon these jewels, sir, they are fair and rich,

Shall sparkle like her eyes, and thee another :Come, prithee come, I long to serve thy lady, Long monstrously!-Now, valour, I shall meet ye, You that dare dukes!

Estif. Green goose, you are now in sippets.

[Exeunt. Enter the Duke, SANCHIO, JUAN, and ALONZO. Duke. He shall not have his will, I shall prevent him;

I have a toy here that will turn the tide,
And suddenly and strangely :-Here, Don Juan,
Do you present it to him.

[Exit.

Juan. I am commanded. Duke. A fellow founded out of charity, And moulded to the height, contemn his maker, Curb the free hand that fram'd him?-This must not be.

Sanch. That such an oyster-shell should hold a pearl,

And of so rare a price, in prison!
Was she made to be the matter of her own un-
doing,

To let a slovenly unwieldy fellow,
Unruly and self-will'd, dispose her beauties?
We suffer all, sir, in this sad eclipse;
She should shine where she might show like
herself,

An absolute sweetness, to comfort those admire her,

And shed her beams upon her friends !—
We are gull'd all,

And all the world will grumble at your patience,
If she be ravish'd thus.

Duke. Ne'er fear it, Sanchio,

We'll have her free again, and move at court
In her clear orb: But one sweet handsomeness
To bless this part of Spain, and have that slub-
ber'd!

Alon. 'Tis every good man's cause, and we
must stir in it.

Duke. I'll warrant ye, he shall be glad to please

13

Leon. Go, take down all the hangings, And pack up all my clothes, my plate and jewels, And all the furniture that's portable. Sir, when we lie in garrison, 'tis necessary We keep a handsome port, for the king's honour; And, do you hear, let all your lady's wardrobe Be safely placed in trunks. They must along too. Lor. Whither must they go, sir? Leon. To the wars, Lorenzo,

And you and all; I will not leave a turn-spit, That has one dram of spleen against a Dutchman. Lor. Why then, St Jaques! hey, you have made us all, sir,

And if we leave you-does my lady go too? Leon. The stuff must go to-morrow towards the sea, sir.

All, all must go.

Lor. Why, Pedro, Vasco, Diego,

Come help me, come, come boys, soldadoes, comrades,

We'll flay these beer-bellied rogues, come away quickly. [Exit.

Juan. He's taken a brave way to save his ho

The goodness of your mind and mine own duty,
But lose you instantly, be divorced from me?
This is a cruelty. I'll to the king,

And tell him 'tis unjust to part two souls,
Two minds so nearly mixt.

Leon. By no means, sweetheart.
Marg. If he were married but four days as I am—
Leon. He would hang himself the fifth, or fly
his country.
[Aside.
Marg. He would make it treason for that
tongue that durst

But talk of war, or any thing to vex him.
You shall not go.

Leon. Indeed, I must, sweet wife.
What! shall I lose the king for a few kisses!
We'll have enough.

Marg. I'll to the duke, my cousin ; he shall t☛ the king.

Leon. He did me this great office,

I thank his grace for't; should I pray him now, To undo't again? Fye, 'twere a base discredit.

Marg. Would I were able, sir, to bear you

Couchm. Must the coach go too, sir?

Leon. How will your lady pass to th' sea else easily?

We shall find shipping for't there to transport it. Marg. I go? alas!

Leon. I'll have a main care of you,

I know you are sickly; he shall drive the easier, And all accommodation shall attend you.

Marg. Would I were able.

Leon. Come, I warrant you,

Am not I with you, sweet? Are her clothes packed up,

And all her linen? Give your maids direction; You know my time's but short, and I am commanded.

Marg. Let me have a nurse,

And all such necessary people with me,
And an easy bark.

Leon. It shall not trot, I warrant you;
Curvet it may sometimes.

Marg. I am with child, sir.

Leon. At four days warning? This is something speedy;

Do you conceive, as our jennets do, with a west

wind?

My heir will be an arrant fleet one, lady.
I'll swear you were a maid when I first lay with you.
Marg. Pray, do not swear; I thought I was a
maid too,

But we may both be cozen'd in that point, sir. Leon In such a strait point, sure, I could not err, madam..

Juan. This is another tenderness to try him. Fetch her up now.

Marg. You must provide a cradle, and what a trouble's that?

Leon. The sea shall rock it,

'Tis the best nurse; 'twill roar and rock together, A swinging storm will sing you such a lullaby! Marg. Faith, let me stay, I shall but shame

your country;

Therefore, fair cousin, with your gentle pardon,
I got this place. What, mourn at his advancement?
You are to blame; he will come again, sweet
cousin.

Meantime, like sad Penelope, and sage,
Amongst your maids at home, and housewifely-
Leon. No, sir, I dare not leave her to that so-
litariness.

She is young; and grief or ill news from those quarters

May daily cross her; she shall go along, sir.
Duke. By no means, captain.

Leon. By all means, an't please you.
Duke. What, take a young and tender-bodied
lady,

And expose her to those dangers, and those tumults?

A sickly lady, too?

Leon. 'Twill make her well, sir.

There's no such friend to health as wholesome

As her weakness and your hot will would work her to.

Enter PEREZ.

What masque is this now?

More tropes and figures, to abuse my sufferance!
What cousin's this?

Juan. Michael van Owle, how dost thou?
In what dark barn or tod of aged ivy
Hast thou lain hid?

Per. Things must both ebb and flow, colonel,
And people must conceal, and shine again.
You are welcome hither, as your friend may say,
gentlemen;

A pretty house, ye see, handsomely seated, Sweet and convenient walks, the waters crystal. Alon. He's certain mad.

Juan. As mad as a French tailor,

That has nothing in's head but ends of fustians. Per. I see you are packing, now, my gentle cousin,

And my wife told me I should find it so ;
'Tis true I do; you were merry when I was last
here,

But 'twas your will to try my patience, madam.
I am sorry that my swift occasions
Can let you take your pleasure here no longer;
Yet, I would have you think, my honoured cousin,
This house and all I have are all your servants.
Leon. What house, what pleasure, sir; what
do you mean?

Per. You hold the jest so stiff, 'twill prove dis

courteous.

This house I mean, the pleasures of this place. Leon. And what of them?

Per. They are mine, sir, and you know it, My wife's I mean, and so conferr'd upon me. The hangings, sir, I must entreat your servants, That are so busy in their offices,

Again to minister to their right uses.

I shall take view o' th' plate, anon, and furnitures, That are of under place. You are merry still, cousin,

And of a pleasant constitution.

Men of great fortunes make their mirths ad pla

citum.

I'll have it proved if you were never yet in Bedlam, Never in love, for that's a lunacy;

No great estate left you that you never looked for, Nor cannot manage, that's a rank distemper; That you were christen'd, and who answered for you;

And then I yield.

Per. He's half persuaded me, I was bred i' th' moon:

I have ne'er a bush at my breech? Are not we both mad,

And is not this a fantastic house we are in,
And all a dream we do? Will you walk out, sir,
And if I do not beat thee presently

Into a sound belief as sense can give thee,

Brick me into that wall there for a chimney piece, And say I was one o' th' Cæsars, done by a seal

cutter.

Leon. I'll talk no more; come, we'll away im

mediately.

Marg. Why, then, the house is his, and all that's in it;

I'll give away my skin, but I'll undo you.
I gave it to his wife; you must restore, sir,
And make a new provision.

Per. Am I mad now, or am I christen'd, you, my pagan cousin,

My mighty Mahound kinsman, what quirk now? You shall be welcome all. I hope to see, sir, Your grace here, and my coz; we are all soldiers, And must do naturally for one another.

Duke. Are ye blank at this? Then I must tell you, sir,

Ye have no command; now, you may go at

pleasure,

And ride your ass troop; 'twas a trick I used To try your jealousy, upon entreaty,

And saving of your wife.
Leon. All this not moves me,

Nor stirs my gall, nor alters my affections.
You have more furniture, more houses, lady,
And rich ones too; I will make bold with those.
And you have land i' th' Indies, as I take it;
Thither we'll go, and view a while those climates,
Visit your factors there, that may betray you.
'Tis done; we must go.

Marg. Now, thou art a brave gentleman,
And by this sacred light I love thee dearly.-
The house is none of yours; I did but jest, sir,
Nor you are no coz of mine; I beseech you
vanish.

I tell you plain; you have no more right than he has, That senseless thing. Your wife has once more fooled you:

Go you, and consider.

SCENE I.

Marg. I shall not fail, sir.

Leon. Will the duke come again, do you think? Marg. No, sure, sir,

He has now no policy to bring him hither. Leon. Nor bring you to him, if my wit hold, fair wife: Let's in to dinner. [Exeunt.

Enter PEREZ.

Per. Had I but lungs enough to bawl sufficiently,

That all the queans in Christendom might hear me,
That men might run away from the contagion,
I had my wish; would it were most high treason,
Most infinite high, for any man to marry,

I mean for any man that would live handsomely,
And like a gentleman, in his wits and credit.
What torments shall I put her to ? Phalaris' bull
now?

Pox, they love bulling too well, though they smoke for it.

Cut her a-pieces? every piece will live still,

To burn too cold, they live like salamanders;
Under huge heaps of stones to bury her,
And so depress her as they did the giants?
She will move under more than built old Babel;
I must destroy her.

Enter CACAFOGO, with a Casket.

Cac. Be cozen'd by a thing of clouts, a shemoth,

That every silkman's shop breeds; to be cheated,
And of a thousand ducats, by a whim wham!
Per. Who's that is cheated? speak again, thou
vision!

But art thou cheated? minister some comfort:
Tell me directly, art thou cheated bravely?
Come, prithee come, art thou so pure a coxcomb,
To be undone! do not dissemble with me,
Tell me I conjure thee.

Cac. Then keep thy circle,

For I am a spirit wild that flies about thee,
And whoe'er thou art, if thou be'st human,
I'll let thee plainly know, I am cheated damnably.
Per. Ha, ha, ha!

Cac. Dost thou laugh? damnably, I say most damnably.

Per. By whom, good spirit, speak, speak, ha, ha, ha!

Cac. I will utter, laugh till thy lungs crack, by a rascal woman,

A lewd, abominable, and plain woman.-
Dost thou laugh still?

Per. I must laugh, prithee pardon me,
I shall laugh terribly!

Cac. I shall be angry, terribly angry, I have

cause.

Per. That's it, and 'tis no reason but thou shouldst be angry,

Angry at heart, yet I must laugh still at thee.
By a woman cheated!-art sure it was a woman?
Cac. I shall break thy head, my valour itches
at thee.

Per. It is no matter; by a woman cozen'd,
A real woman!

Cac. A real devil!

Plague of her jewels, and her copper chains,
How rank they smell!

Per. Sweet cozen'd sir, let me see them; I have been cheated too, I would have you note that,

And lewdly cheated, by a woman also,
A scurvy woman. I am undone, sweet sir,
Therefore I must have leave to laugh.
Cac. Pray ye take it,

You are the merriest undone man in Europe!
What need we fiddles, bawdy songs, and sack,
When our own miseries can make us merry?
Per. Ha, ha, ha!

I have seen these jewels; what a notable pennyworth

Per. An excellent lapidary set these stones sure,

Do you mark their waters?

Cac. Quicksand choak their waters,

And hers that brought 'em too! but I shall find her.

Per. And so shall I, I hope, but do not hurt her. You cannot find in all this kingdom, (If you have need of cozening, as you may have, For such gross natures will desire it often, 'Tis at some time too a fine variety,) A woman that can cozen ye so neatly. She has taken half mine anger off with this trick, [Exit.

Cac. If I were valiant now, I would kill this
fellow.

I have money enough lies by me at a pinch
To pay for twenty rascal's lives that vex me.
I'll to this lady, there I shall be satisfied. [Exit.
Enter LEON and MARGARITĄ.

Leon. Come, we'll away unto your country-
house,

And there we'll learn to live contentedly;
This place is full of charge, and full of hurry,
No part of sweetness dwells about these cities.
Marg. Whither you will, I wait upon your
pleasure;

Live in a hollow tree, sir, I'll live with ye.

Leon. Ay, now you strike a harmony, a true one, When your obedience waits upon your husband, And your sick will aims at the care of honour. Why now I doat upon ye, love ye dearly, And my rough nature falls like roaring streams, Clearly and sweetly into your embraces. O what a jewel is a woman excellent, A wise, a virtuous, and a noble woman! When we meet such, we bear our stamps on both sides,

And through the world we hold our current vir

tues.

Alone we are single medals, only faces,
And wear our fortunes out in useless shadows;
Command you now, and ease me of that trouble,
I'll be as humble to you as a servant.

Bid whom you please, invite your noble friends,
They shall be welcome all, visit acquaintance,
Go at your pleasure, now experience
Has link'd you fast unto the chain of goodness:
What noise is this, what dismal cry ?

[Clushing swords. A cry within, down
with their swords.

Marg. 'Tis loud too,

Sure there's some mischief done i' th' street; look out there.

Leon. Look out and help!