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That does command a citadel, called the stocks ; Humbled myself to marriage with my Froth here;
Well. Yes, to whores and canters,
Clubbers by night. Well, Rascal! slave!
Tap. True, but they brought in profit, Froth. No rage, sir.
And had a gift to pay for what they called for; Tap. At his own peril! Do not put yourself And stuck not like your mastership. The poor In too much heat, there being no water near
income To quench your thirst; and sure, for other liquor, I gleaned from them hath made me in my parish As mighty ale, or beer, they are things, I take it, Thought worthy to be scavenger; and, in time, You must no more remember; not in a dream, sir. May rise to be overseer of the poor; Well. Why, thou unthankful villain, dar'st thou which, if I do, on your petition, Wellborn, talk thus ?
I may allow you thirteen pence a quarter ;
Well. Thus, you dog-bolt-
[Beats him. Does keep no other register.
Tap. Cry out for help! Well, Am not I he
Well. Stir, and thou diest : Whose riots fed and clothed thee? Wert thou not Your potent prince, the constable, shall not save Born on my father's land, and proud to be
you. A drudge in his house?
Hear me, ungrateful hell-hound ! did not I Tap. What I was, sir, it skills not ;
Make purses for you? then you licked my boots, What you are, is apparent. Now for a farewell : And thought your holiday cloak too coarse to Since you talk of father, in my hope it will tor
clean them. ment you,
'Twas I, that when I heard thee swear, if ever I'll briefly tell your story. Your dead father, Thou could'st arrive at forty pounds, thori My quondam master, was a man of worship;
would'st Old sir John Wellborn, justice of peace and quo Live like an emperor; 'twas I that gave it, rum,
In ready gold. Deny this, wretch ! And stood fair to be custos rotulorum ;
Tap. I must, sir. Bore the whole sway of the shire; kept a great for, from the tavern to the tap-house, all, house;
On forfeiture of their licences, stand bound Relieved the poor, and so forth : but he dying, Never to remember who their best guests were, And the twelve hundred a-year coming to you, If they grew poor like you. Late Master Francis, but now forlorn Wellborn- Well. They are well rewarded Well. Slave, stop! or I shall lose myself. That beggar themselves to make such cuckolds Froth. Very hardly;
rich. You cannot out of your way.
Thou viper, thankless viper ! impudent bawd ! Tap. But to my story:
But since you are grown forgetful, I will help
Well. 'Twill not be granted.
Enter ALLWORTH. (Resolving not to lose a drop of them)
Allw. Hold, for my sake, hold ! On foolish mortgages, statutes, and bonds, Deny me, Frank? they are not worth your anger. For a while supplied your looseness, and then Well. For once thou hast redeemed them from
[Shaking his cudgel. Well. Some curate has penned this invective, But let them vanish, creeping on their knees; mongrel,
And if they grumble, I revoke my pardon. And you have studied it.
Froth. This comes of your prating, husband; Tap. I have not done yet.
you presumed Your lands gone, and your credit not worth a On your ambling wit, and must use your glib token,
tongue, You grew the common borrower; no man’scaped | Though you are beaten lame for't. Your paper pellets, from the gentleman
Tap. Patience, Froth; To the beggars on highways, that sold you There's law to cure our bruises. switches
[They go off on their hands and knees. In your gallantry.
Well. Sent to your mother? Well. I shall switch your brains out.
Allw. My lady, Frank, my patroness ! my all ! Tap. While poor Tím Tapwell, with a little She's such a mourner for my father's death, stock,
And, in her love to him, so favours ine, Some forty pounds or so, bought a small cottage ; } That I cannot pay too much observance to her.
There are few such stepdames.
Well. Grant this true,
As I believe it ; canst thou ever hope
Well, I confess it.
That, where impossibilities are apparent, Allu. Even the best of the shire, Frank, 'Tis indiscretion to nourish hopes. My lord excepted : such as sue, and send, Canst thou imagine (let not self-love blind thee) And send, and sue again; but to no purpose.
That sir Giles Overreach (that to make her great Their frequent visits have not gained her pre- In swelling titles, without touch of conscience, sence ;
Will cut his neighbour's throat, and I hope his Yet she's so far from sullenness and pride,
own too) That I dare undertake you shall meet from her Will e'er consent to make her thine? Give o'er, A liberal entertainment. I can give you And think of some course suitable to thy rank, A catalogue of her suitors' names.
And prosper in it. Well. Forbear it,
Allw. You have well advised me; While I give you good counsel. I am bound But, in the mean time, you, that are so studious to it.
Of my affairs, wholly neglect your own. Thy father was my friend; and that affection Remember yourself, and in what plight you are. I bore to him, in right descends to thee :
Well. No matter, no matter. Thou art a handsome and a hopeful youth, Alla. Yes, 'tis much material : Nor will I have the least affront stick on thee, You know my fortune, and my means; get some If I with any danger can prevent it.
thing Allæ. I thank your noble care ; but, pray you, I can spare from myself, to help your wants. in what
Well. How's this? Do I run the hazard ?
Allw. Nay, be not angry. There's eight pieces, Well. Art thou not in love?
To put you in better fashion. Put it not off with wonder.
Well. Money from thee? Allæ. In love, at my years?
From a boy, a stipendiary? one that lives Well. You think you walk in clouds, but are At the devotion of a step-mother, transparent.
And the uncertain favour of a lord ? I have heard all, and the choice that you have I'll eat my arms first. Howsoe'er blind fortune made ;
the utmost of her malice on me; And, with my finger, can point out the north star Though I am vomited out of an alehouse, By which the loadstone of your folly's guided. And thus accoutred; know not where to eat, And, to confirm this true, what think ye of Or drink, or sleep, but underneath this canopy; Fair Margaret, the only child and heir
Although I thank thee, I despise thy offer. Of cormorant Overreach? Dost blush and start, And as 1, in my madness, broke my state, To hear her only named ? Blush at your want Without the assistance of another's brain, Of wit and reason.
In my right wits I'll piece it; at the worst, Allw. You are too bitter, sir.
Die thus, and be forgotten. Well. Wounds of this nature are not to be Allu. A strange humour! (Eseunt severally.
cured With balms, but corrosives. I must be plain : SCENE II.-A Chamber in Lady ALLWORTH'S Art thou scarce manumized from the porter's
House. lodge, And yet sworn servant to the pantofile,
Enter ORDER, AMBLE, FURNACE, and WATCHAnd dar'st thou dream of marriage ? -I fear
Order. Set all things right, or, as my name is "Twill be concluded for impossible,
Order, That there is now, or e'er shall be hereafter, And by this staff of office that commands you, A handsome page, or player's boy of fourteen, This chain, and double ruff, symbols of power, But either loves a wench, or drabs love him ; Whoever misses in his function, Court-waiters not exempted.
For one whole week makes forfeiture of his break. Alla. This is madness.
fast, Howe'er you have discovered my intents, And privilege in the wine cellar. You know my aims are lawful; and if ever
Amble. You are merry, The queen of flowers, the glory of the spring, Good master steward. The sweetest comfort to our smell, the rose, Furn. Let him; I'll be angry. Sprang from an envious briar, I may infer, Amble. Why, fellow Furnace, 'tis not twelve There's such disparity in their conditions,
o'clock yet, Between the goddess of my soul, the daughter, Nor dinner taking up; then 'tis allowed And the base churl, her father.
Cooks, by their places, may be choleric.
Furn. You think you have spoke wisely, good- Amble. In you he lives. man Amble,
Allw. At once, my thanks to all; My lady's go-before.
This is yet some comfort. Is my lady stirring? Order. Nay, nay, no wrangling. Furn. Twit me with the authority of the kit
Enter the Lady ALLWORTH and Attendants chen?
Order. Her presence answers for us.
I'll take the air alone. (Exeunt Attendants I will be angry
Furn. You air and air ; Amble. There was no hurt meant.
But will you never taste but spoonmeat more? Furn. I am friends with thee, and yet I will To what use serve 1? be angry.
Lady. Prithee be not angry:. Order. With whom?
I shall ere long; in the mean time there is gold Furn. No matter whom : yet, now I think on't, To buy thee aprons and a summer suit. I am angry with my lady.
Furn. I am appeased, and Furnace now grows Watch. 'Heaven forbid, man!
cool. Order. What cause has she given thee?
Lady. And, as I gave directions, if this morning Furn. Cause enough, master steward : I am visited by any, entertain them I was entertained by her to please her palate, As heretofore: but say, in my excuse, And, till she forswore eating, I performed it. I am indisposed. Now, since our master, noble Allworth, died, Order. I shall, madam. Though I crack my brains to find out tempting Lady. Do, and leave me. sauces,
(Exeunt ORDER, AMBLE, FURNACE, &e. And raise fortifications in the pastry,
Nay, stay you, Allworth.
To wait on your commands. .
is duty, Amble. But you had wanted matter there to Purchased on your part. work on.
Lady. Well, you shall o'ercome; Furn. Matter! with six eggs and a strike of I'll not contend in words. How is it with rye meal,
Your noble master ? I had kept the town till doomsday, and perhaps Allw. Ever like himself; longer.
No seruple lessened in the full weight of hoOrder. But what's this to your pet against my
He did command me (pardon my presumption), Furn. What's this? marry this: when I am As his unworthy deputy, to kiss three parts roasted,
Your ladyship's fair hands. And the fourth part par-boiled, to prepare her Lady. I am honoured in viands,
His favour to me. Does he hold his purpose She keeps her chamber, dinęs with a panada, For the Low Countries ? Or water-gruel; my sweat never thought on. Allu. Constantly, good madam :
Order. But your art is seen in the dining room. But be will, in person, first present his service. Furn. By whom?
Lady. And how approve you of his course! By such as pretend love to her; but come
you are yet,
Inscription, vicious or honourable.
To your own election.
Ållw. Any form you please Furn. The same, the same. Meat's cast away I will put on: but, might I make my choice, upon him
With humble emulation, I would follow It never thrives. He holds this paradox, The path my lord marks to me. Who eats not well, can ne'er do justice well. Lady. 'Tis well answered, His stomach's as insatiate as the grave, or strum- And I commend your spirit: you had a father, pet's ravenous appetites.
(Blessed be his memory that some few hours Amble. One knocks.
Before the will of Heaven took him from me, (ALLWORTH knocks, and enters. Who did commend you, by the dearest ties Order. Our late young master.
Of perfect love between us, to my chnrge : Amble. Welcome, sir.
And, therefore, what I speak, you are bound to Furn. Your hand:
hear If you have a stomach, a cold bake-meat's ready. With such respect as if he lived in me. Order. His father's picture in little.
He was my husband; 'and howe'er you are not Furn. We are all your servants.
Son of my womb, you may be of my love,
Provided you deserve it.
Greedy. Is it of the right race ?
Ord. Yes, Master Greedy.
good worship! Your bounties showered upon me.
Greedy. Honest Master Cook, thy hand; Lady. I much hope it.
again! How I love thee! These were your father's words: If e'er my son Are the good dishes still in being? speak, boy. Follow the war, tell him it is a school
Furn. If you have a mind to feed, there is a Where all the principles, tending to honour,
chine Are taught, if truly followed : But for such Of beef well seasoned. As repair thither, as a place in which
Greedy. A stag, man?
dinner, Are the essential parts make up a soldier: And baked in puff-paste. Not swearing, dice, or drinking.
Greedy. Puff-paste, too, Sir Giles ! Alla. There's no syllable
A ponderous chine of beef! a pheasant larded ! You speak, but is to me an oracle;
And red deer, too, Sir Giles, and baked in puff Which but to doubt were impious.
paste! Lady. To conclude;
All business set aside, let us give thanks here. Beware ill company; for often men
Furn. How the lean skeleton's rapt! Are like to those with whom they.do converse :
Over. You know we cannot. And from one man I warn you, and that's Well- Mar. Your worships are to sit on a commisborn:
sion, Not 'cause he's poor; that rather claims your And if you fail to come, you lose the cause.
Greedy. Cause me no causes ; I'll prove 't, But that he's in his manners so debauched,
for such a dinner, And hath to vicious courses sold himself. We may put off a commission ; you shall find it 'Tis true, your father loved him, while he was Henrici decimo quarto. Worthy the loving; but, if he had lived
Over. Fie, Master Greedy! To have seen him as he is, he had cast him off, Will you lose me a thousand pounds for a din. As you must do.
ner? Állæ. I shall obey in all things.
No more, for shame! We must forget the belly, Lady. Follow me to my chamber; you shall When we think of profit. have gold
Greedy. Well, you shall o'er-rule me.
And I, in thankfulness, will, by your boy,
Furn. Will you be so prodigal ?
Over. Remember me to your lady.
Who have we here? Over. Still cloistered up? her reason,
Well. You know me. I hope, assures her, though she makes herself Over. I did once, but now I will not: Close prisoner ever for her husband's loss, Thou art no blood of mine. Avaunt, thou 'Twill not recover him.
beggar! Ord. Sir, it is ber will;
If ever thou presume to own me more,
Think of pye-corner, Furnace ! And, if you please to stay, that you inay think [E.reunt OVERREACH, GREEDY, and MARRALL. so,
Amb. Will you out, sir?
Ord. This is rudeness
And saucy impudence. VOL. III.
Amb. Cannot you stay
Or, though it be against my gentler temper,
An eye-sore to me.
Well. Scorn me not, good lady; Into some out-house, though it be the pig-sty ; But as, in form, you are angelical, My scullion shall come to thee.
Imitate the heavenly natures, and vouchsafe
At the least a while to hear me. You will grant, Enter ALLWORTH.
The blood that runs in this arm is as noble Ilell. This is rare :
As that which fills your veins. Those costly Oh, here's Tom Allworth ! Tom !
jewels, Allw. We must be strangers;
And those rich clothes you wear; your swelling Nor would I have you seen here for a million.
(Erit. Equipage, and fortune ; your men's observance, Well. Better and better. He contemns me, too. And women's flattery, are in you no virtues ;
Nor these rags, with my poverty, in me vices. Enter Waiting-woman and Chambermaid. You have a fair fame, and, I know, deserve it; Wom. Foh, what a smell's here ! what thing's Yet, lady, I must say, in nothing more, this?
Than in the pious sorrow you have shewn Cham. A creature
For your late noble husband. Made out of the privy. Let us hence, for love's Ord. How she starts ! sake,
Furn. And hardly can keep her finger from Or I shall swoon. Wom. I begin to faint already.
To hear him named. (Exeunt Waiting-woman and Chambermaid. Lady. Have you aught else to say ? Furn. Will you know your way?
Well. That husband, madam, was once, in his Amb. Or shall we teach it you,
fortune, By the head and shoulders ?
Almost as low as I. Want, debts, and quarrels, l'ell. No; I will not stir :
Lay heavy on him : let it not be thought Do you mark, I will not. Let me see the wretch A boast in me, though I say, I relieved him. That dares attempt to force me. Why, you slaves, 'Twas I, that gave him fashion ; mine, the sword Created only to make legs, and cringe ;
That did, on all occasions, second his;
I stepped unto him, took him by the hand,
Furn. Are not we base rogues,
That could forget this ? Ord. My lady)
Well. I confess, you made him
Master of your estate ; nor could your friends, Enter Lady ALLWORTH, Waiting-woman, and Though he brought no wealth with him, blame Chambermaid.
you for it: Cham. Here's the monster.
For he had a shape, and, to that shape, a mind, Wom. Sweet madam, keep your glove to your Made up of all parts, either great or noble,
So winning a behaviour, not to be
Weil. For his sake, then, in that I was his Well. Madam, my designs bear me to you.
friend, Lady. To me?
Do not contemn me. Weil. And though I have met with
Lady. For what's past excuse me; But ragged entertainment from your grooms here, I will redeem it. Order, give the gentleman I hope from you to receive that noble usage, A hundred pounds. As may become the true friend of your husband; Well. Madam, on no terms : And then I shall forget these.
I will not beg nor borrow sixpence of you ; Lady. I am amazed,
But be supplied elsewhere, or want thus ever. To see and hear this rudeness. Dar'st thou Only one suit I make, which you deny not think,
To strangers; and 'tis this. [Whispers to ker. Though sworn, that it can ever find belief, Lady. Fie! nothing else? 'That , who to the best men of this country Weil. Nothing; unless you please to charge Denied my presence since my husband's death,
your servants Can fall so low as to change words with thee? To throw away a little respect upon me. Thou son of infamy ! forbear iny house,
Lady. What you demand is yours. And know and keep the distance that's between
Weit. I thank you, lady. (Erit Lady us;
Now, what can be wrought out of such a suit,