Fond. Ha, how's that? Stay, stay, did you leave word, say you, with his wife-with Comfort herself?

Bar. I did; and Comfort will send Tribulation hither as soon as ever he comes home-I could have brought young Mr Prig to have kept my mistress company in the mean time; but you say-Fond. How, how, say, varlet! I say, let him not come near my doors. I say he is a wanton young Levite, and pampereth himself up with dainties, that he may look lovely in the eyes of womenSincerely I am afraid he hath already defiled the tabernacle of our sister Comfort; while her good husband is deluded by his godly appearanceI say, that even lust doth sparkle in his eyes and glow upon his cheeks, and that I would as soon trust my wife with a lord's high-fed chaplain. Bar. Sir, the hour draws nigh, and nothing will be done there till you come.

Fond. And nothing can be done here till I go -So that I'll tarry, d'ye see.

Bur. And run the hazard to lose your affair so? Fond. Good lack, good lack !—I profess it is a very sufficient vexation for a man to have a handsome wife.

Bar. Never, sir, but when the man is an insufficient husband. 'Tis then, indeed, like the vanity of taking a fine house, and yet be forced to let lodgings, to help to pay the rent.

Fond. I profess a very apt comparison, varlet. Go in, and bid my cocky come out to me; I will give her some instructions, I will reason with her before I go; [Exit BARNABY.] and, in the mean time, I will reason with myself-Tell me, Isaac, why art thee jealous? Why art thee distrustful of the wife of thy bosom ?-Because she is young and vigorous, and I am old and impotent-Then why didst thee marry, Isaac ?-Because she was beautiful and tempting, and because I was obstinate and doting; so that my inclination was, and is still, greater than my power--And will not that which tempted thee also tempt others, who will tempt her, Isaac ?—I fear it much-But does not thy wife love thee, nay, dote upon thee?Yes-Why then,--Ay, but to say truth, she's fonder of me than she has reason to be; and, in the way of trade, we still suspect the smoothest dealers of the deepest designs; and that she has some designs deeper than thou canst reach, thou hast experimented, Isaac-But mum !

Enter LETITIA.

Lat. I hope my dearest jewel is not going to leave me-Are you, Nykin?

Fond. Wife!-have you thoroughly considered how detestable, how heinous, and how crying a sin, the sin of adultery is? Have you weighed it, I say? For it is a very weighty sin; and altho' it may lie heavy upon thee, yet thy husband must also bear his part; for thy iniquity will fall upon his head.

Lat. Bless me, what means my dear! Fond. [Aside. I profess she has an alluring eye; I'm doubtful whether I shall trust her, even with

Tribulation himself-Speak, I say, have you considered what it is to cuckold your husband?

Lat. [Aside.] I'm amazed:-sure he has discovered nothing-Who has wronged me to my dearest? I hope my jewel does not think that ever I had any such thing in my head, or ever will have? Fond. No, no, I tell you I shall have it in my head-You will have it somewhere else.

Lat. [Aside.] I know not what to think. But I'm resolved to find the meaning of it --Unkind dear! was it for this you sent to call me? Is it not affliction enough that you are to leave me, but you must study to increase it by unjust suspicions? [Crying.] Well-well-you know my fondness, and you love to tyrannize-Go on, cruel man! do--triumph over my poor heart while it holds, which cannot be long, with this usage of yours-But that's what you wantWell-you will have your ends soon-you willyou will-Yes, it will break to oblige you. [Sighs. Fond. Verily, I fear, I have carried the jest too far- -Nay, look you now if she does not weep -'tis the fondest fool--Nay, Cocky, Cocky! nay, dear Cocky! don't cry, I was but in jest, I was, ifeck.

Læt. [Aside.] Oh! then all's safe. I was terribly frighted-My affliction is always your jest, barbarous man! Oh, that I should love to this degree! yet

Fond. Nay, Cocky!

Lat. No, no, you are weary of me, that's itthat's all, you would get a other wife-another fond fool, to break her heart--Well, be as cruel as you can to me, I'll pray for you; and when I am dead with grief, may you have one that will love you as well as I have done: I shall be con tented to lie in peace in my cold grave, since it will please you. [Sighs.

Fond. Good lack, good lack! she would melt a heart of oak-I profess I can hold no longerNay, dear Cocky-Ifeck you'll break my heartifeck you will-See, you have made me weepmade poor Nykin weep-Nay, come kiss, buss poor Nykin-and I won't leave thee-I'll lose all first.

Lat. [Aside.] How! Heaven forbid! that will be carrying the jest too far indeed.

Fond. Won't you kiss Nykin?

Lat. Go, naughty Nykin, you don't love me.
Fond. Kiss, kiss; ifeck I do.
Lat. No, you don't.

[She kisses him.

Fond. What, not love Cocky? Lat. No-h. [Sighs. Fond. I profess I love thee better than five hundred pound; and so thou shalt say, for I'll leave it to stay with thee.

Lat. No, you sha'n't neglect your business for me-No, indeed, you sha'n't, Nykin-If you don't go, I'll think you been dealous of me stil.

Fond. He, he, he! wilt thou, poor fool? Then I will go, I won't be dealous-Poor Cocky, kiss Nykin, kiss Nykin, ee, ee, ee !- -Here will be the good man anon, to talk to Cocky, and teach her how a wife ought to behave herself.

Sharp. How! Araminta lost?

Enter VAINLOVE and SHARPER.

Vain. To confirm what I have said, read this. [Gives a letter.

Sharp. [Reads.] Hum, hum.—" And what then appear'd a fault, upon reflection, seems only an effect of a too powerful passion. I'm afraid I give too great a proof of my own at this timeI am in disorder for what I have written: but som thing, I know not what, forced me. I only beg a favourable censure of this, and your ARAMINTA." Lost! Pray Heaven thou hast not lost thy wits. -Here, here, she's thy own, man, sign'd and seal'd too- -To her, man-A delicious melon, pure and consenting ripe, and only waits thy cutting up-She has been breeding love to thee all this while, and just now she's deliver'd of it.

Vain. 'Tis an untimely fruit, and she has miscarried of her love.

Sharp. Never leave this damn'd ill-natured whimsy, Frank?-Thou hast a sickly, peevish appetite; only chew love, and cannot digest it.

Vain. Yes, when I feed myself-But I hate to be cramm'd-By Heaven, there's not a woman will give a man the pleasure of a chace-My sport is always baulk'd or cut short-I stumble over the game I would pursue-'Tis dull and unnatural to have a hare run full in the hound's mouth, and would distaste the keenest hunter-I would have overtaken, not have met, my game.

Sharp. However, I hope you don't mean to forsake it; that will be but a kind of a mongrel cur's trick. Well, are you for the Mall?

Vain. No; she will be there this eveningYes, I will go too; and she shall see her error in

Sharp. In her choice, egad- -But thou canst not be so great a brute as to slight her.

Vain. I should disappoint her if I did notBy her management I should think she expects it. All naturally fly what does pursue : 'Tis fit men should be coy, when women woo. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-Changes to a Room in FONDLEWIFE'S House.

A Servant introducing BELLMOUR, in a fanatic habit, with a patch upon one eye, and a book in his hand.

Serv. Here's a chair, sir, if you please to repose yourself. I'll call my mistress. [Exit Servant.

Bell. Secure in my disguise, I have out-faced suspicion, and even dared discovery-This cloak my sanctity, and trusty Scarron's novels my prayer-book, methinks I am the very picture of Montufar in the Hypocrites.-O, she comes. Enter LETITIA.

So breaks Aurora through the veil of night,
Thus fly the clouds, divided by her light,
And every eye receives a new-born sight.

[Throwing off his cloak, patch, &c. Lat. Thus strew'd with blushes, like—Ah, Heaven defend me! Who's this?

Bell. Your lover.

[Discovering him, starts.

Lat. Vainlove's friend! I know his face, and he has betray'd me to him. [Aside.

Bell. You are surprised. Did you not expect a lover, madam? Those eyes shone kindly on my first appearance, though now they are overcast.

Lat. I may well be surprised at your person and impudence; they are both new to me-You are not what your first appearance promised: The piety of your habit was welcome, but not the hypocrisy.

Bell. Rather the hypocrisy was welcome, but not the hypocrite.

Lat. Who are you, sir? You have mistaken the house sure.

Bell. I have directions in my pocket, which agree with every thing but your unkindness. [Pulls out the letter.

Lat. My letter !-Base Vainlove !-Then 'tis too late to dissemble. [Aside.]—-'Tis plain then you have mistaken the person. [Going.

Bell. If we part so I'm mistaken.—Hold, hold, madam-I confess I have run into an er ror-I beg your pardon a thousand times—What an eternal blockhead am I! Can you forgive me the disorder I have put you into?-But it is a mistake which any body might have made.

Lat. What can this mean? 'Tis impossible he should be mistaken after all this-A handsome fellow, if he had not surprised me-Methinks, now I look on him again, I would not have him mistaken. [Aside.]-We are all liable to mistakes, sir: If you own it to be so, there needs no farther apology.

Bell. Nay, faith, madam, 'tis a pleasant one, and worth your hearing-Expecting a friend, last night, at his lodgings, till 'twas late, my intimacy with him gave me the freedom of his bed: He not coming home all night, a letter was deliver'd to me by a servant in the morning: Upon the perusal, I found the contents so charming, that I could think of nothing all day but putting 'em in practice-till just now, (the first time I ever looked upon the superscription,) I am the most Vainlove.-Gad, madam, I ask you a million of surprised in the world to find it directed to Mr pardons, and will make you any satisfaction.

Let. I am discover'd-and either Vainlove is not guilty, or he has handsomely excused him. [Aside

Bell. You appear concern'd, madam?

Lat. I hope you are a gentleman-and, since you are privy to a weak woman's failing, won't turn it to the prejudice of her reputation. You look as if you had more honour

Bell. And more love-or my face is a false witness, and deserves to be pilloried.No, by Heaven, I swear

was there-But, O Gad, two such unlick'd cubs!

Aram. I warrant, plump, cherry-cheek'd, country girls.

Betin. Ay, o' my conscience, fat as barn-door fowl; but so bedeck'd, you would have taken 'em for Friezland hens, with their feathers grow

Bell. Well, I promise-A promise is so coldGive me leave to swear-by those eyes, those killing eyes-by those healing lips-O, press the soft charm close to mine, and seal 'em up for ever! [He kisses her.

Lat. Upon that condition.

Bell. Eternity was in that moment

more, upon any condition.

-One

Lat. Nay, now- I never saw any thing so agreeably impudent. [Aside.]—Won't you censure me for this now-but 'tis to buy your si lence-[Kiss.]—O, but what am I doing?

Bell. Doing! no tongue can express it-not thy own; nor any thing but thy lips-I am faint with the excess of bliss-Oh, for love's sake, lead me any whither, where I may lie down-quickly; for I'm afraid I shall have a fit.

Lat. Bless me! what fit?

Bell. Oh, a convulsion-I feel the symptoms. Lat. Does it hold you long? I'm afraid to carry you into my chamber.

Bell. Oh, no-let me lie down upon the bed; -the fit will be soon over.

[Exeunt.

SCENE III.--Changes to St James's Park. Enter ARAMINTA and BELINDA, meeting. Belin. Lard, my dear, I am glad I have met you-I have been at the Exchange since, and am so tired

Aram. Why, what's the matter?

Belin. O the most inhuman, barbarous hackney-coach!-I am jolted to a jelly—Am I not horribly touzed? [Pulls out a pocket-glass.

Aram. Your head's a little out of order. Beiin. A little! O, frightful! What a furious phiz I have! O, most rueful!-Ha, ha, ha! O Gad, I hope nobody will come this way till I put myself a little in repair-Ah, my dear, I have seen such unhewn creatures since-Ha, ha, ha! I cann't for my soul help thinking that I look just like one of 'em-Good dear, pin this, and I'll tell you-Very well-so thank you, my dear:

such tramontana, and foreigners to the fashion, or any thing in practice!-I had not patience to behold-I undertook the modelling of one of their fronts, the more modern structure

Arum. Bless me, cousin, why would you affront any body so? They might be gentlewomen of a very good family.

Belin. Of a very ancient one, I dare swear, by their dress-Affront! Psha, how you're mistaken! The poor creature, I warrant, wa› as full of curtsies as if I had been her god-mother. The truth on't is, I did endeavour to make her look like a Christian: and she was sensible of it; for she thank'd me, and gave me two apples, piping hot, out of her under-petticoat pocket-ha, ha, ha! and t'other did so stare and gape, I fancied her like the front of her father's hall; her eyes were the two jut-windows, and her mouth the great door, most hospitably kept open for the entertainment of travelling flies.

Aram. So then you have been diverted.-What did they buy?

Belin. Why, the father bought a powder-horn, and an almanack, and a comb-case; the mother, a great fruz tour and a fat-amber necklace, the daughters only tore two pair of kid gloves with trying 'em on-O Gad, here comes the fool that dined at my Lady Freelove's t'other day!

Enter Sir JOSEPH and BLUFFE. Aram. May be he may not know us again. Belin. We'll put on our masks, to secure his ignorance. [They put on their masks. Sir Jo. Nay, Gad, I'll pick up; I'm resolved to make a night on't-I'll go to Alderman Foudlewife by and by, and get fifty pieces more from him-Adslidikins, bully, we'll wallow in wine and women.-Why, this same Madeira wine has made me as light as a grasshopper Hist, hist, bully! dost thou see those tearers?-[Sings.] Look you what here is Look you what here is-Tol, lol, dera, tol, lol- -Egad, t'other glass of Madeira, and I durst have attack'd 'em in my own proper person, without your help.

Buff. Come on then, knight-But d'ye know

Sir Jo. Say! Poo, pox, I've enough to saynever fear it-that is, if I can but think on t: truth is, I have but a treacherous memory,

Belin. O frightful! Cousin, what shall we do? these things come toward us.

Aram. No matter-1 see Vainlove coming this way-and, to confess my failing, I am willing to give him an opportunity of making his peace with ine-and to rid me of these coxcombs, when I seem oppress'd with them, will be a fair one.

Bluff. Ladies, by these hilts, you are well met. Aram. We are afraid not. Bluff What says my pretty little knapsackcarrier? [To BELINDA. Belin. O monstrous filthy fellow !-Good slovenly Captain Huff, Bluff what is your hideous name?-be gone: You stink of brandy and tobacco, most soldier-like-Foh! [Spits. Sir Jo. Now am I slap-dash down in the mouth, and have not one word to say. [Aside. Aram. I hope my fool has not confidence enough to be troublesome. [Aside. Sir Jos. Hem-Pray, madam, which way is the wind?

Aram. A pithy question-Have you sent your wits for a venture, sir, that you enquire? Sir Jo. Nay, now I'm in-I can prattle like a magpie. [Aside.

Enter SHARPER and VAINLOVE, at a distance, Belin. Dear Araminta, I'm tired— Arum. 'Tis but pulling off our masks, and obliging Vainlove to know us: I'll be rid of my fool by fair means. -Well, Sir Joseph, you shall see my face-but be gone immediately: I see one that will be jealous, to find me in discourse with you-Be discreet-no reply; but away. [Unmasks. Sir Jo. The great fortune that dined at my Lady Freelove's! -Sir Joseph, thou art a made man-Egad, I'm in love up to the ears. But I'll be discreet and busht. [Aside, Bluff. Nay, by the world, I'll see your face. Belin. You shall. [Unmasks. Sharp. Ladies, your humble servant. We were afraid you would not have given us leave to know

you.

Aram. We thought to have been private. But we find fools have the same advantage over a face in a mask that a coward has while the sword is in the scabbard; so were forced to draw in our own defence.

Bluff. My blood rises at that fellow : I cann't stay where he is; and I must not draw in the Park. [To Sir JOSEPH.

Sir Jos. I wish I durst stay to let her know my lodging. [Exeunt Sir JOSEPH and BLUFFE. Sharp. There is in true beauty, as in courage, somewhat which narrow souls cannot dare to admirc-And see, the owls are fled, as at the break

of day.

Belin. Very courtly-I believe Mr Vainlove has not rubb'd his eyes since break of day neither: he looks as if he durst not approachNay, come, cousin, be friends with him-I swear he looks so very simply-ha, ha, ha!-Well, a lover, in the state of separation from his mistress, is like a body without a soul.-Mr Vainlove, shall I be bound for your good behaviour for the future?

Van. Now must I pretend ignorance equal to hers, of what she knows as well as I. [Aside.]Men are apt to offend, 'tis true, where they find most goodness to forgive: But, madam, I hope I shall prove of a temper not to abuse mercy, by committing new offences.

Belin. I have broke the ice for you, Mr Vainlove, and so I leave you.Come, Mr Sharper, you and I will take a turn, and laugh at the vulgar-both the great vulgar and the small—O Gad, I have a great passion for Cowley. Don't you admire him?

tory.

Sharp. O madam, he was our English Horace. Belin. Ah, so fine! so extremely fine! so every thing in the world that I like-O Lord, walk this way-I see a couple—I'll give you their his[Exeunt BELINDA and SHARPER. Vain. I find, madam, the formality of the law must be observed, though the penalty of it be dispensed with; and an offender must plead to his arraignment, though he have his pardon in his pocket.

Aram. I'm amazed! this insolence exceeds the other. Whoever has encouraged you to this assurance, presuming upon the easiness of my temper, has much deceived you; and so you shall find.

Vain. Hey-day! which way now?—Here's fine doubling. [Aside. Aram. Base man!-Was it not enough to affront me with your saucy passion? Vain. You have given that passion a much kinder epithet than saucy, in another place.

Aram. Another place!-Some villainous design to blast my honour-But though thou hadst all the treachery and malice of thy sex, thou canst not lay a blemish on my fame-No; I have not err'd in one favourable thought of mankind. How time might have deceived me in you, I know not: my opinion was but young, and your early baseness has prevented its growing to a wrong belief. -Unworthy and ungrateful! Be gone, and never

see me more.

Vain. Did I dream? or do I dream? Shall I believe my eyes or ears?-The vision is here still. -Your passion, madam, will admit of no farther reasoning-But here is a silent witness of your acquaintance.

[Takes out the letter, and offers it : She snatches it, and throws it away. Aram. There's poison in every thing you touch: —Blisters will follow

Vain. That tongue which denies what the hands have done.

Aram. Still mystically senseless and impudent. I find I must leave the place.

Vain. No, madam; I'm gone.

She knows

her name's to it, which she will be unwilling to expose to the censure of the first finder. [Aside.] [Exit.

Aram. Woman's obstinacy made me blind, to what woman's curiosity now tempts me to see. [Takes up the letter, and exit.

Enter BELINDA and SHARPER. Belin. Nay, we have spared nobody, I swear. Mr Sharper, you're a pure man; where did you get this excellent talent of railing?

Sharp. Faith, madam, the talent was born with