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much haste back; for, d'ye hear-I may be L. Brute. Your sufferings eased, your flame busy.

would soon abate; and that I would preserve, Heart. Enough.

not quench it, sir. (Exeunt BELINDA and HEARTFREE. Con. Would you preserve it, nourish it with L. Brute. Sure you think me scandalously favours ; for that's the food it naturally requires. free, Mr Constant : I'm afraid I shall lose your L. Brute. Yet on that natural food 'twould good opinion of me.

surfeit soon, should I resolve to grant all you Con. My good opinion, madam, is like your would ask. cruelty, never to be removed.

Con. And in refusing all, you starve it. ForL. Brute. Indeed I doubt you much. Why, give me, therefore, since my hunger rages

, if I suppose you had a wife, and she should enter- at last grow wild, and in my frenzy force at least tain a gallant ?

this from you. (Kissing her hand.] Or if you'd Con. If I gave her just cause, how should I have my fame soar higher stiil, then grant me justly condemn her ?

this, and this, and thousands more. (Kissing L. Brute. Ah; but you differ widely about first her hand, and then her neck.) (Aside.] For just causes.

now's the time she melts into compassion. Con. But blows can bear no dispute.

L. Brute. O Heavens ! Let me go. L. Brute. Nor ill manners much, truly.

Con. Ay, go, ay : where shall we go, my Con. Then no woman upon earth has so just charming angel—into this private arbour a cause as you have.

Nay, let's lose no time- -moments are preL. Brute. But can a husband's faults release ciousmy duty ?

L. Brute. And lovers wild. Pray let us stop Con. In equity, without doubt. And where here; at least for this time. laws dispense with equity, equity should dispense Con. 'Tis impossible ; he that has power over with laws.

you, can have nonc over himself. L. Brule. Pray let us leave this dispute ; for [As he is forcing her into the arbour, Lady you men have as much witchcraft in your argu- FANCYFUL and MADEMOISELLE bolt out ments, as women have in their eyes.

upon them, and run over the stage. Con. But whilst you attack me with your L. Brute. Ah ! I'm lost. charms, 'tis but reasonable I assault you with L. Fan, Fe, fe, fe, fe, fe! mine.

Madem. Fe, fe, fe, fe, fe ! L. Brute. The case is not the same. What Con. Death and furies, who are these? mischief we do we can't help, and therefore are L. Brute. O Heavens ! I'm out of my wits: if to be forgiven.

they know me, I am ruined. Con. Beauty soon obtains pardon for the pain Čon. Don't be frightened : ten thousand to one that it gives, when it applies the balm of com- they are strangers to you. passion to the wound; but a fine face and a L. Brute. Whatever they are, I won't stay here hard heart is almost as bad as an ugly face and a a moment longer. soft one; both very troublesome to many a poor

Con. Whither will you go? gentleman.

L. Brute. Home, as if the devil were in me. L. Brute. Yes, and to many a poor gentle Lord, where's this Belinda now? woman too, I can assure you. But pray, which of 'em is it that most afflicts you ?

Enter BELINDA and HEARTFREE. Con. Your glass and conscience will informo! tis well you are come; I'm so frightened, you, madam. But for Heaven's sake, (for now I my hair stands an end. Let's be gone, for Heamust be serious,) if pity or if gratitude can move ven's sake, you, [Taking her hand ;) if constancy and truth Bel. Lord, what's the matter? have power to tempt you; if love, if adoration L. Brute. The devil's the matter : here's a can affect you, give me at least some hopes couple of women have done the most impertinent that time may do, what you perhaps mean never things. Away, away, away, away, away. to perform ; 'twill ease my sufferings, though

(Erennt running not quench my flame.


Madem. Au logis.
SCENE I.- Lady FANCYFUL'S House. L. Fan. What, men and all ?

Madem. Tous ensemble.
Enter Lady FANCYFUL and MADEMOISELLE. L. Fun. O confidence ! What, carry their fel-

L. Fan. Well, Mademoiselle, did you dodge lows to their own house ! the filthy things?

Madem. C'est que le mari n'y est pas. Mudem. O que ouy, madame.

L. Fan. No, so I believe, truly. But he shall L. Fan. And where are they?

be there, and quickly too, if I can find him out.



Well, 'tis a prodigious thing to see, when men and But, spite of all your cruel thoughts, I still perwomen get together, how they fortify one another sist ; and at this moment, if I can, persuade you in their impudence. But if that drunken fool, her to lie down and sleep a little. husband, be to be found in e'er a tavern in town, Sir John. Why—do you think I am drunk, you I'll send him amongst 'em; I'll spoil their sport. slat you ?

Mudem. En vérité, madame, ce seroit domage. L. Brute. Heaven forbid I should : But I'm

L. Fan. 'Tis in vain to oppose it, Mademoiselle, afraid you are feverish. Pray let me feel your therefore never go about it. For I am the stea- pulse. diest creature in the world—when I am deter- Sir John. Stand off, and be damned. mined to do mischief. So, come along. (Exeunt. L. Brute. Why, I see your distemper in your

eyes. You are all on fire. Pray go to bed; let SCENE II.-Sir John BRUTE's House. me entreat you. Enter CONSTANT, HEARTFREE, Lady BRUTE,

Sir John. Come-Kiss me, then.

L. Brute. (Kissing him.] There: now go. (Aside.)

He stinks like poison. L. Brute. But are you sure you don't mistake, Sir John. I see it goes damnably against your Lovewell?

stomach—and therefore-kiss me again. Love. Madam, I saw 'em all go into the tavern L. Brute. Nay, now you fool me. together, and my master so drunk he could scarce Sir John. Do't, I stand.

(Exit. L. Brute. (Aside.] Ah, Lord have mercy upon L. Brute. Then, gentlemen, I believe we may Well: there:– Now will you go? venture to let you stay, and play at cards with us Sir John. Now, wife, you shall see my gratian hour or two; for they'll scarce part till morning. tude. You gave me two kisses-I'll give youBel I think 'tis pity they should ever part- two hundred.

(Kisses and tumbles her. Con. The company that's here, madam.

L. Brute. O Lord ! pray, Sir John, be quiet L. Brute. Then, sir, the company that's here Heavens ! what a pickle am I in. must remember to part itself in time.

Bel. (Aside.] If I were in her pickle, I'd call Con. Madam, we don't intend to forfeit your my gallant out of the closet, and he should cudfuture favours, by an indiscreet usage of this

. gel him soundly. The moment you give us the signal, we sha'n't Sir John. So, now you being as dirty and as fail to make our retreat.

nasty as myself, we may go pig together. But L. Brute. Upon those conditions then let us first I must have a cup of your cold tea, wife. sit down to cards.

(Going to the closet.

L. Brute. O, I'm ruined !-There's none Enter LOVEWELL.

there, my dear. Love. O Lord, madam! here's my master just Sir John. I'll warrant you I'll find some, my staggering in upon you; he has been quarrelsome dear. yonder, and they have kicked him out of the com- L. Brute. You cann't open the door; the lock's pany.

spoiled ; I have been turning and turning the key L. Brute. Into the closet, gentlemen, for Hea- this half hour to no purpose. I'll send for the ven's sake ; l'll wheedle him to bed, if possible. smith to-morrow. (Constant and HEARTFREE run into the closet. Sir John. There's ne'er a smith in Europe can Enter Sir John, all dirt and bloody.

open a door with more expedition than I can do.

-As, for example-pou. (He bursts open the door L. Brute. Ah-Ah-he's all over blood. with his foot.}-How now! what the devil have

Sir John. What the plague does the woman we got here? -Constant-Heartfree---and two squall for? Did you never see a man in pickle whores again, 'egad. This is the worst cold tea before?

that ever I met with in my life. L. Brute. Lord, where have you been? Sir John. I have been at-cuffs.

Enter CONSTANT and HEARTFREE. L. Brute. I fear that is not all. I hope you L. Brute. (Aside.) O Lord, what will become of are not wounded. Sir John. Sound as a roach, wife.

Sir John. Gentlemen-I am your very humble L. Brute. I'm mighty glad to hear it.

servant- I give you many thanks I see you take Sir John. You know, I think you lie. care of my family-I shall do all I can to return

L. Brute. You do me wrong to think so—for the obligation. Heaven's my witness, I had rather see my own Con. Sir, how oddly soever this business may blood trickle down, than yours.

appear to you, you'd have no cause to be uneasy Sir John. Then will I be sacrificed.

if you knew the truth of all things. Your lady L. Brute. 'Tis a hard fate I should not be be- is the most virtuous woman in the world, and lieved.

nothing has past but an innocent frolic. Sir John. 'Tis a damned atheistical age, wife. Heart. Nothing else, upon my honour, sir.

L. Brute. I am sure I have given you a thou- Sir John. You are both very civil gentlemensand tender proofs how great my care is of you. I and my wife, there, is a very civil gentlewoman;


us !

therefore I don't doubt but many civil things have , let him take away his master, scour him clean pass'd between you.—Your very humble servant. with a little soap and sand, and so put him to-bed.

L. Brute. [.Aside to Con.) Pray be gone; he's L. Brute. Come, Belinda, I'll e'en lie with you so drunk he cann't hurt us to-night, and to-mor- to-night, and in the morning we'll send for our row morning you shall hear from us

gentlemen, to set this matter even. Con. I'll obey you, madam.—Sir, when you Bel. With all my heart. are cool, you'll understand reason better-so L. Brute. Good night, my dear. then I shall take the pains to inform you. If not,

(Making a low curtsey to Sir John. I wear a sword, sir, and so good bye t'ye. Come Both. Ha, ha, ha!

(Exeunt. along, Heartfree.

(Ereunt. Sir John. Wear a sword, sir !- And what of

Enter Rasor. all that sir? Ile comes to my house ; eats my Rasor. My lady there's a wag—my master ineat; lies with my wife; dishonours my family; there's a cuckold. Marriage is a slippery tbinggets a bastard to inherit my estate-And when i women have depraved appetites—My lady's ask a civil account of all this-Sir, says he, I wag-I have heard all; I have seen all ; I under. wear a sword.— Wear a sword, sir !-Yes, sir, says stand all; and I'll tell all—for my little Frenchhe, I wear a sword.-It may be a good answer at woman loves news dearly. This story will gain cross purposes, but ’tis a dainned one to a man in her heart, or nothing will

. (To his Master.] Come, my whimsical circumstances.-Sir, says he, I wear sir, your head's too full of fumes at present, to a sword.—[To Lady BRUTE.) And what do you make room for your jealousy; but I reckon we wear now? Ha! tell me. (Sitting down in a great shall have rare work with you when your pate's chair.]-What, you are modest, and cann'tWhy then, I'll tell you, you slut you. You wear drunken sot you.

empty. Come to your kennel, you cuckoldy


(Carries him on his back. -an impudent lewd face-a damned designing heart-and a tail-and a tail full of

My master's asleep in his chair, and a-snoring, [He falls fast asleep, snoring. My lady's abroad, and—Oh rare matrimony! L. Brute. So, thanks to kind Heaven, he's fast


. for some hours.

Bel. 'Tis well he is so, that we may have time SCENE III.- Lady FANCYFUL's House. to lay our story handsomely; for we must lie like the devil to bring ourselves off.

Enter Lady FANCYFUL and MADEMOISELLE. L. Brute. What shall we say, Belinda?

L. Fun. But why did not you tell me before, Bel. [ Musing.)- I'll tell you : it must all light Mademoiselle, that Rasor and you were fond ? upon Heartfree and I. We'll say he has courted

Madem. De modesty hinder me, matam. me some time, but, for reasons unknown to us,

L. Fan. Why, truly, modesty does often hinder has ever been very earnest the thing might be

us from doing things we have an extravagant kept from Sir John. That therefore hearing him mind to. But does he love you well enough yet, upon the stairs, he run into the closet, though to do any thing you bid him? Do you think, to against our will, and Constant with him, to pre oblige you, he would speak scandal ? vent jealousy. And to give this a good impudent Madem. Matam, to oblige your ladyslip, he face of truth, (that I may deliver you from the shall speak any thing. trouble you are in,) I'll e'en, if he pleases, marry L. Fan. Why then, Mademoiselle, I'll tell you him.

what L. Brule. I'm beholden to you, cousin ; but his master all that passed at Spring Garden. !

you shall do. You shall engage him to tell that would be carrying the jest a little too far, have a mind he should know what a wife and a for your own sake: you know he's a younger niece he has got. brother, and has nothing.

Madem, Il le fera, madame. Bel. 'Tis true; but Ñ like him, and have fortune enough to keep above extremity: I cann't Enler a Footman, who speaks to MADEMOISELLE say I would live with him in a cell, upon love and bread and butter ; but I'd rather have the man

Foot. Mademoiselle, yonder's Mr Rasor deI love, and a middle state of life, than that gentle

sires to speak with you. man in the chair there, and twice your ladysliip's Madem. Tell him I come presently. (Erit splendour. L. Brute. In truth, niece, you are in the right

Foulman.)-Rasor be dere, matam.

L. Fan. That's fortunate: Well, I'll leave you on't: but 'tis late : let's end our discourse for to- together; and if you find him stubborn, Madenight, and, out of an excess of charity, take a small care of that nasty drunken thing there-Do sonable little liberties, to put him in humour.

moiselle-hark you—don't refuse him a few reabut look at him, Belinda. Bel. Ah-'tis a savoury dish.

Madem. Laissez moi faire. L. Brute. As savoury as ’tis, I'm cloyed with Rasor peeps in, and seeing Lady FANCYFUL it. Pr'ythee call the butler to take away.

gone, turns to MADEMOISELLE, takes her Bel. Call the butler !-call the scavenger. (To

about the neck, and kisses her. a Serdant within.] Who's there?-Call Rasor : Madem. How now, confidence !


(Erit L. Fax.

Rasor. How now, modesty !

bled by that young liquorish whipster, Heartfree. Madem. Who make you so familiar, sirrah? Now, are you satisfied ? Rasor. My impudence, hussy.

Madem. No. Madem. Stand off, rogue-face.

Rasor. Right woman-always gaping for more. Rasor. Ah, Mademoiselle-great news at our Madem. Dis be all, den, dat you know? house.

Rasor. All !-Ay, and a great deal too, I Mudem. Why, vat be de matter?

think. Rasor. The matter !—why, uptails alls the Madem. Dou be fool ; dou know nothing.matter.

Ecoute, mon pauvre Rasor.-Dou sees des two Madem. Tu te mocque de moi.

eyes ? Des two eyes have see de devil. Rasor. Now do you long to know the parti. Rasor. The woman's mad. culars—the time when the place where the Madem. In Spring Garden, dat rogue Constant manner how: but I won't tell you a word more. meet dy lady. Madem. Nay, den dou kill me, Rasor.

Rasor. Bon. Rusor. Come, kiss me, then.

Madem. I'll tell dee no more. (Clupping his hands behind. Rasor. Nay, pr’ythee, my swan. Madem. Nay, pridee tell me.

Maden. Come, kiss me, den. Rasor. Good bye t'ye.

(Going (Clapping her hands behind her, as he did Madem. Hold, hold- I will kiss dee.

before, [Kissing him.

Rusor. I won't kiss you, not I. Rasor. So, that's civil :—Why now, my pretty

Madem. Adieu.

(Going Poll-my goldfinch—ny little water-wagtail, you Rusor. Hold-Now proceed. must know that-Come, kiss me again.

(Gives her a hearty kiss. Madem. I won't kiss dee no more.

Madem. A çà-I hide myself in one cunning Rusor. Good bye t'ye.

(Going. place, where I hear all, and see all. First dy Madem. Doucement; dere; es tu content? drunken master comc mal à propos; but de sot

{Kissing him. no know his own dear wife, so he leave her to Rasor. So: now I'll tell thee all. Why, the her sport.- Den de game begin. De lover say news is, that cuckoldom in folio is newly printed, soft ting; de lady look upon de ground. [As she and matrimony in quarto is just going into the speaks, Rasor still ucts the man, and she the press. Will you buy any books, Mademoiselle? woman.) He take her hy de hand : she turn her

Madem. Tu parle comme un libraire; de devil head on oder way. Den he squeeze very hard : no understand dee.

den she pull-very softly. Den he take her in Rusor. Why then, that I may make myself in his arms: den she give him littel pat. Den he kiss telligible to a waiting-woman, I'll speak like a va- her tettons : den she say—pish, nay, fie. Den let de chambre.--My lady has cuckolded my he tremble: den she sigh. Den be pull her into master.

de arbour : don she pinch him. Madem. Bon.

Rusor. Ay, but not so hard, you baggage you. Rasor. Which we take very ill from her hands, Madem. Den he grow bold: she grow weake: I can tell her that. We cann't yet prove matter he tro her down, il tombe dessu, le diable assist, of fact upon her.

il emport tout.-[RASOR struggles with her, as Madem. N'importe.

if he would throw her down.)-Stand off, sirrah. Rasor. But we can prove that matter of fact Rusor. You have set me a-fire, you jade you. had like to have been upon her.

Madem. Den go to de river and quench dyself. Madem. Ouy-da!

Rasor. What an unnatural harlot this ! Rasor. For we have such terrible circumstan- Madem. Rasor. ces

(Looking languishingly on him. Madem. Sans doute.

Rasor. Mademoiselle. Rasor. That any man of parts may draw tick- Mudem. Dou no love me? ling conclusions from 'em.

Rasor. Not love thee !-More than a FrenchMadem. Fort bien.

man does soup Rasor. We found a couple of tight, well-built Madem. Den you will refuse nothing dat I bid gentlemen stuffed into her ladyship's closet. dee? Madem. Le diable !

Rasor. Don't bid me hang myself then. Rasor. And I, in my particular person, have Madem. No, only tell dy master all I have discovered a most damnable plot, how to per- tell dee of dy laty. suade my poor master that all this hide and seek, Rusor. Why, you little malicious strumpet this Will in the Wisp, has no other meaning than you-should you like to be served so ? a Christian marriage for sweet Mrs Belinda. Mudem. Dou dispute den ?--Adieu.

Mudem. Une marriage ? Ah, les droles. Rusor. Hold-But why wilt thou make me be

Rasor. Don't you interrupt me, bussy. 'Tis such a rogue, my dear? agreed, I say ; and my innocent lady, to wriggle Madem. Voilà un vrai Anglois ! Il est amouherself out at the back-door of the business, turns reux, et cependant il veut raisonner. Va t'en au marriage-bawd to her niece, and resolves to de- diable. liver up her fair body, to be tumbled and mum- Rasor. Hold, once more.--In Lopes thou'lt

give me up thy body, I'll make a present of my Heart. Why, I say, it's worse than the disease. honesty.

Con. Here's a fellow for you. There's beauty Madem. Bon, écoute donc; if dou fail me and money on her side, and love up to the eara never see dee more. If dou obey me-Je on his; and yet m'abandonne à toy, à toy. (She takes him about Heart. And yet, I think, I may reasonably be the neck, and gives him a smacking kiss. allowed to boggle at marrying the niece, in the

(Erit MADEMOISELLE. very moment that you are deluding the aunt. Rasor. (Licking his lips.) Not be a rogue ! Con. Why, truly, there may be something in - Amor viucit omnia.

(Exit Rasor. that. But have not you a good opinion enough Enter Lady FANCYFUL and MADEMOISELLE.

of your own parts, to believe you could keep a

wife to yourself? L. Fan. Marry, say ye? Will the two things Heart. I should have, if I had a good opinion marry?

enough of hers, to believe she could do as much Madem. On le va faire, madame.

by me. But pr’ythee advise me in this good and L. Fan. Look you, Mademoiselle-in short, I evil

, this life and death, this blessing and curse, cann't bear it-no, I find I cann't. If once I see that is set before me. For to do 'em right, after 'em a-bed together, I shall have ten thousand all, the wife seldom rambles, till the husband thoughts in my head, will make me run distract- shews her the way. ed. Therefore, run and call Rasor back imme- Con. 'Tis true, a man of real worth scarce ever diately, for something must be done to stop this is a cuckold, but by his own fault. Women are impertinent wedding. If I can but defer it four- not naturally lewd; there must be something to and-twenty bours, I'll make such work about urge 'em to it. They'll cuckold a churl out of town, with that little pert slut's reputation, he revenge; a fool, because they despise him; a shall as soon marry a witch.

beast, because they loath him. But when they Madem. (Asıde.j La voilà bien intentionée. make bold with a man they once had a well

(Ereunt. grounded value for, 'tis because they first see

themselves neglected by him. SCENE IV.-Constant's Lodgings. Heart. Shall I marry, or die a maid? Enter Coxstant and HEARTFREE.

Con. Why, faith, Heartfree, matrimony is like

an army going to engage. Love's the forlora Con. But what dost think will become of this bope, which is soon cut off; the marriage knot business?

is the main body, which may stand buff a long Heurt. 'Tis easier to think what will not belong time; and repentance is the rear guard, come on't.

which rarely gives ground, as long as the main Con. What's that?

body has a being. Heurt. A challenge. I know the knight too Heart. Conclusion then—you advise me to well for that; his dear body will always prevail rake on as you do. upon his noble soul to be quiet.

Con. That's not concluded yet. For though Con. But though he dare not challenge me, marriage be a lottery, in which there are won. perhaps he may venture to challenge his wife. drous many blanks, yet there is one inestimable Heart. Not if you w hisper him in the ear, you lot, in which the only heaven on earth is written

. won't have him do't; and there's no other way Would your kind fate but guide your hand to left, that I see. For, as drunk as he was, he'll that, though I were wrapped in all that luxury itremember you and I were where we should not self could clothe me with, I should envy you. be; and I don't think him quite blockhead enough Heart. And justly too; for to be capable of yet, to be persuaded we were got into his wife's loving one, doubtless, is better than to possess a closet only to peep into her prayer-book. thousand. But bow far that capacity's in die,

alas, I know not ! Enter a Serpant with a letter.

Con. But you would know? Serr. Sir, here's a letter--a porter brought it.

Heart. I would so. Con. O ho, bere's instructions for us. [Reads.] Con. Matrimony will inform you. Come, one « The accident that has happened has touched fight of resolution carries you to the land of es; our invention to the quick. We would

fain come perience, where, in a very moderate time, you? off without your help, but find that's impossible. know the capacity of your soul and your body In a word, the whole business must be thrown both, or I'm mistaken. upon a matrimonial intrigue between your friend and mine. But if the parties are not fond enough

SCENE V.-Sir JOHN BRUTE's House. to go quite through with the matter, 'tis sufficient for our turn, they own the design. We'll find Enter Lady BRUTE and BELINDA. pretences enough to break the match. Adieu.” Bel. Well, madam, what answer have you from -Well, women for invention! How long would 'em ? my blockhead have been producing this! Hey, L. Brute. That they'll be here this moment

. Heartfree? What, musing, man! Pythee be 1 fancy 'twill end in a wedding: I'm sure he's i cheerful. What say'st thou, friend, to this matri- fool if it don't. Ten thousand pounds, and such monial remedy?

a lass as you are, is no contemptible offer to a


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