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An epilogue's a tax on authors laid,
(You thought five guineas far beyond her due.) And full as much unwillingly is paid.
But when pursued by some gay, leading lover, Good lines, I grant, are little worth; but yet Then every day her eyes new charms discover; Coin has been always easier raised than wit. Till at the last, by crowds of beaus admired, (I fear we'd made but very poor campaigns, She has raised her price to what her heart deHad funds been levied from the grumbling brains.) sired, Beside, to what poor purpose should we plead, New gowns and petticoats, which her airs ree When you have once resolved a play shall bleed? quired. But then again, a wretch, in any case,
So, miss, and poet too, when once cried up, Has leave to say why sentence should not pass. Believe their reputation at the top: First, let your censure from pure judgment flow, And know, that while the liking fit has seiz’d you, And mix with that some grains of mercy too; She cannot look, he write, too ill to please you. On some your praise like wanton lovers you be. How can you bear a sense of love so gross, stow.
To let mere fashion on your taste impose ? Thus have you known a woman plainly fair, Your taste refined, might add to your delight: At first scarce worth your two day's pains or care; Poets from you are taught to raise their fight; Without a charm, but being young and new, For as you learn to judge, they learn to write.
SHE WOU'D AND SHE WOU'D NOT.
CRITICS! though plays without your smiles sub- 1 His wit, if any, mingles with his plot, sist,
Which should on no temptation be forgot : Yet this was writ to reach your generous taste,
His action's in the time of acting done, And not in stern contempt of any other guest. No more than from the curtain, up and down' Our humble author thinks a play should be, While the first music plays, he moves his scene Though tied to rules, like a good sermon, free A little space, but never shifts again. From pride, and stoop to each capacity;
From his design no person can be spared, Though he dares not, like some, depend alone Or speeches lopt, unless the whole be marre.'. Upon a single character new shewn;
No scenes of talk for talking's sake are shews, Or only things well said, to draw the town. W'bere most abruptly, when their chat is done, Such plays, like looser beauties, may have power Actors go off, because the poet-cann't go in To please, and sport away a wanton hour; His first act offers something to be done, But wit and humour, with a just design,
And all the rest but lead that action on; Charm, as when beauty, sense, and virtue join. Whichi, when pursuing, scenes i' th' end discover. Such was his just attempt, though, 'tis confest, The game's run down, of course the play is over, He's only vain enough e have done his best ; Thus much he thought 'twas requisite to say, For rules are but the posts that mark the course, (For all here are not critics born) that they Which way the rider should direct his horse ; Who only used to like, might learn to taste a He that mistakes his ground is easily beat,
play. Though he that runs it true mayn't do the feat ; But now he flies for refuge to the fair, For 'tis the straining genius that must win the Whom he must own the ablest judges here. heat.
Since all the springs of his design but move O'er chokejade to the ditch a jade may lead, From beauty's cruelty subdued by love, But the true proof of Pegasus's breed,
E’en they, whose hearts are yet untouched, mas Is when the last act turns the lands with Dimple's know, speed.
In the same case, sure, what their own wou'd do: View then, in short, the method that he takes : You best should judge of love, since love is born His plot and persons he from nature makes,
of you. Who for no bribe of jest he willingly forsakes:
WOMEN. Don MANUEL, Father to Rosara.
HYPOLITA, secretly in love with Don Philips Don Philip, slighted by Hypolita.
RosaRA, in love with Octavio. Don Louis, Nephew to Don Manuel.
FLORA, Confidunte to Hypolita.
VILETTA, Woman to Rosara.
Host, Alguazil, and Servants.
he's coming post to Madrid to marry another SCENE I.-An Inn in Madrid.
woman ; nay, one he never saw.
Hyp. An unknown face caniyot have very far Enter TRAPPANTI, alone, talking to himself.
engaged him. Indeed, my friend Trappanti, thou’rt in a very Flo
. How came he to be engaged to her at all? thin condition ; thou hast neither master, meat, Hyp. Why, I engaged him. nor money: not but, couldst thou part with that Flo. To another! unappeaseable itch of eating, too, thou hast all Hyp. To my whole sex, rather than own I loved the ragged virtues that were requisite to set up an him. ancient philosopher : contempt and poverty, kicks, Flo. Ah, done like a woman of courage! thumps, and thinking, thou hast endured with the Hyp. I could not bear the thought of parting best of them; but—when fortune turns thee up with my power; besides, he took me at such an to hard fasting, that is to say, positively not eat advantage, and pressed me so home to a surrending at all, I perceive thou art a downright dunce, er, I could have torn him piece-meal. with the same stomach, and no more philosophy, Flo. Ay, I warrant you, an insolent-agreethan a hound upon horse-flesh-Fasting's the able puppy. Well, but to leave impertinence, devil !-Let me see—this, I take it, is the most madam, pray how came you to squabble with frequented inn about Madrid, and if a keen guest him? or two should drop in now-Hark!
Hyp. I'll tell thee, Flora :-You know Don Host. [Within.] Take care of the gentlemen's Philip wants no charms that can recommend a horses there; see them well rubbed and littered. lover; in birth and quality, I confess him my su
Trap. Just alighted ! if they do but stay to perior; and it is the thought of that has been a eat now! Impudence assist me. Ha! a couple constant thorn upon my wishes. I never saw of pretty young sparks, faith!
him in the humblest posture, but still I fancied Enter HYPOLITA and FLORA in men's habits;
he secretly presumed his rank and fortune might
deserve me. This always stung my pride, and a Servant with a portmanteau. made me overact it: nay, sometimes, when his Trap. Welcome to Madrid, sir; welcome, sir! sufferings have almost drawn tears into my eyes, Flo. Sir, your servant !
I have turned the subject with some trivial talk, Sero. Have the horses pleased your honour? or hummed a spiteful tune, though I believe his
Hyp. Very well indeed, friend. Prythee, set heart was breaking. down the portmanteau, and see that the poor Flo. A very tender principle, truly ! creatures want nothing: they have perforined Hyp. Well, I don't know, it was in my nature. well, and deserve our care.
But to proceed-This, and worse usage, continuTrap. I'll take care of that, sir. Here, ostler! ed a long time; at last, despairing of my heart,
(Exeunt TRAP. and Serdunt. he then resolved to do a violence on his own, by Flo. And pray, madam, what do I deserve, that consenting to his father's commands of marrying have lost the use of my limbs to keep pace with a lady of considerable fortune here in Madrid. you? 'Sheart! you whipped and spurred like a fox. The match is concluded, articles are sealed, and hunter: it's a sign you had a lover in view : I'm the day is fixed for his journey. Now, the night sure my shoulders ache as if I had carried my before he set out, he came to take his leave of horse on them.
me, in hopes, I suppose, I would have staid him. Hyp. Poor Flora! thou art fatigued indeed! | I need not tell you my confusion at the news; but I shall find a way to thank thee for't. and though I could have given my soul to have
Flo. Thank me, quotha ! Egad, I sha'n't be deferred it, yet, finding bim, unless I bade him able to sit this fortnight. Well, I'm glad our stay, resolved upon the marriage, I (from the journey's at an end, however; and now, madam, pure spirit of contradiction) swore to myself I pray, what do you propose will be the end of our would not bid him do it; so called for my veil,
and told him I was in haste, begged his pardon, Hyp. Why, now, I hope the end of my wishes your servant, and so whipped to prayers. -Don Philip, I need not tell you how far he is Flo. Well said again! that was a clincher. in my heart.
Ah, had not you better been at confession ? Fio. No, your sweet usage of him told me that Hyp. Why, really, I might have saved a long long enough ago; but now, it seems, you think journey by it. To be short, when I came from fit to confess it : and what is it you love him for, church, Don Philip had left this letter at home pray?
for me, without requiring an answer ---Read Ilyp. His manner of bearing that usage.
itFo. Ah, dear pride! how we love to have it Flo. (Reads.]“ Your usage has made me justly tickled! But he does not bear it, you see, for | despair of you, and now, any change must better
my condition: at least it has reduced me to the Flo. I'm afraid it must be alone, if you do give necessity of trying the last remedy, ---marriage him satisfaction ; for my part, I can push no mer: with another; if it prove ineffectual, I only wish than I can swim. you may, at some hours, remember how little Hyp. But can you bully upon occasion? cause I have given you to have made me for ever Flo. I can scold, when my blood's up. miserable.
Philip.” Hyp. That's the same thing: bullying would Poor gentleman! very hard, by my conscience! be scolding in petticoats. Indeed, madam, this was carrying the jest a li.tle Flo. Say ye so? Why, then, Don, look a too far.
yourself; if I don't give you as good as you bring, Hyp. Ah, by many a long, mile, Flora; but I'll be content to wear breeches as long as I live, what would you have a woman do, when her though I lose the end of my sex by it
. We hand's in?
madam, now you have opened the plot, pak, Flo. Nay, the truth of it is, we never know when is the play to begin? the difference between enough and a surfeit ; Hyp. I hope to have it all over in less this but, love be praised, your proud stomach's come four hours : we'll just refresh ourselves wd down for it.
what the house affords, comb out our wigs, and Hyp. Indeed, it is not altogether so high as wait upon my father-in-law-How now! wat it was. In a word, his last letter set me at my would this fellow have?wit's end; and when I came to myself, you may remember you thought me bewitched; for I im.
Enter TRAPPANTI. mediately called for my boots and breeches, a Trap. Servant, gentlemen ; I have taken te straddle we got, and so rode after him.
care of your nags; good cattle they are, by w Flo. Why, truly, madam, as to your wits, I have troth! right and sound, I warrant them; they not much altered my opinion of them, for I deserve care, and they have had it, and shall beze cannot see what you propose by it.
it, if they stay in this house. I always stand by Hyp. My whole design, Flora, lies in this port- sir; see them rubbed down with my own eyemanteau and these breeches.
Catch me trusting an ostler-I'll give you lear Flo. A notable design, no doubt! but, pray, to fill for me, and drink for me too. let's hear it?
Flo. I have seen this fellow somewhere. Hyp. Why, I do propose to be twice married
Trap. Hey-day! what, no cloth laid? 15 between them.
ever such attendance ! Hey, house! tapster! Flo. How ! twice?
landlord ! hey! [Knocks.] What was it you be Hyp. By the help of the portmanteau, I intend spoke, gentlemen? to marry myself to Don Philip's new mistress ; Hyp. Really, sir, I ask your pardon; I have and then I'll put off my breeches and marry most forgot you. him.
Trap. Pshaw! dear sir, never talk of it;] Flo. Now, I begin to take ye: but, pray, live here hard by—I have a lodging — I cannot what's in the portmanteau, and how came you call it a lodging neither that is, I have a
Sometimes I am here, and sometimes I am there; Hyp. I hired one to steal it from his servant and so, here and there, one makes shift, quæ at the last inn we lay at in Toledo. In it are know. Hey! will these people never come? jewels of value, presents to my bride, gold good store, settlements, and credential letters, to cer- Hyp. You give a very good account of yote tify, that the bearer (which I intend to be my- self, sir. self) is Don Philip, only son and heir of Don Trap. Oh, nothing at all, sir. Lord, sirFernando de las Torres, now residing at Seville, it fish or flesh, sir? whence we came.
Flo. Really, sir, we have bespoke nothing set Flo. A very smart undertaking, by my troth! Trup. Nothing ! for shame! it's a sign on And, pray, madam, what part am I to act ?
are young travellers. You don't know this house, Hyp. My woman still; when I cannot lie for sir; why, they'll let you starve if you don't see myself, you are to do it for me, in the person of and call, and that like thunder, too-Hey! a cousin-german. Flo. And my name is to be
Hyp. Ha! you eat here sometimes, I presiune
, Hyp. Don Guzman, Diego, Mendoza, or what sir ? you please: be your own godfather.
Trup. Umph! Ay, sir, that's as it happens Flo. 'Egad, i begin to like it mightily! this I seldom eat at home, indeed-things are gener may prove a very pleasant adventure, if we can rally, you know, so out of order there, that but come off without
fighting, which, by the way, Did you hear any fresh news upon the road, sir? I don't easily perceive we shall; for, to be sure, Hyp. Only, sir, that the king of France lost a Don Philip will make the devil to do with us great horse-match upon the Alps t'other day. when be finds himself bere before he comes hi- Trap. Ha! a very odd place for a horse-race ther.
--but the king of France may do any thing-did Hyp. Oh, let me alone to give him satisfac- you come that way, gentlemen! or—Hey tion.
Flo. You would not tell him who you are ? Enter Host.
Hyp. There's no occasion for it I'll talk Host. Did you call, gentlemen ?
with him. Trap. Yes, and bawl, too, sir. Here, the gentlemen are almost famished, and nobody comes
Enter TRAPPANTI. near them. What have you in the house, now, Trap. Your dinner's upon the spit, gentlemen, that will be ready presently?
and the cloth is laid in the best room-Are you Host. You may have what you please, sir. not for a whet, sir? What wine? what wine ? Hyp. Can you give us a partridge?
hey! Host. Sir, we have no partridges; but we'll Flo. We give you trouble, sir. get you what you please in a moment. We have Trap. Not in the least, sir-Hey! (Knocks. a very good neck of mutton, sir; if you please, it shall be clapped down in a moment.
Host. D'ye call, gentlemen? at present; if you please, you may have any thing
Hyp. Ay; what wine have ye? else in a moment.
Host. What sort you please, sir. Hyp. Then, pr’ythee, get us some young rab
Flo. Sir, will you please to name it? bits.
[TO TRAP. Host. Upon my word, sir, rabbits are so scarce,
Trap. Nay, pray, sir ! they are not to be had for money.
Hyp. No ceremony, dear sir ! upon my word Flo. Have you any fish? Host. Fish, sir ! I drest yesterday the finest
Trap. Upon my soul you'll make me leave ye, dish that ever came upon a table ; I am sorry we
gentlemen. have none left, sir; but, if you please, you may
Hyp. Come, come, no words : pr’ythee, you have any thing else in a moment.
shall. Trap: Pox on thee! hast thou nothing but
Trap. Psha! but why this among friends, now? any thing else in the house?
Here have ye any right Galicia? Host. Very good mutton, sir.
Host. The best in Spain, I warrant it. Hyp. Pr’ythee get us a breast then.
Trap. Let's taste it; if it be good, set us out Host. Breast ! don't you love the neck, sir?
half a dozen bottles for dinner. Hyp. Have ye nothing in the house but the
Host. Yes, sir.
(Exit Host. neck
Flo. Who says this fellow's a-starving now? Host. Really, sir, we don't use to be so unpro- on myconscience, the rogue has more impudence vided; but at present we have nothing else left.
than a lover at midnight. Trap. Paith, sir, I don't know but a nothing
Hyp. Hang him, 'tis inoffensive; I'll humour else may be very good meat, when any thing else him-Pray, sir, (for I find we are like to be is not to be had.
better acquainted, therefore, I hope you won't Hyp. Then, pr’ythee, friend, let's have thy neck take my question ill), of mutton before that is gone, too.
Trap. Oh, dear sir ! Trap. Sir, he shall lay it down this minute ;
Hyp. What profession may you be of? I'll see it done, gentlemen ; I'll wait upon ye pre
Trap. Profession, sir-I-I-Ods me! here's sently; for a minute I must beg you pardon, and
wine. leave to lay the cloth myself.
Enter Ilost. Hyp. By no means, sir.
Trap. No ceremony, dear sir ! Indeed I'll do Come, fill out-hold-let me taste it first-Ye it.
[Ereunt Host and TRAPPANTI. blockhead, would you have the gentleman drink Hyp. What can this familiar puppy be? before he knows whether it be good or not?
Flo. With much ado, I have recollected his (Drinks.) Yes, 'twill do-Give me the bottle, face. Don't you remember, madam, about two i'll fill myself. Now, sir, is not that a glass of or three years ago, Don Philip had a trusty ser- right wine? vant, called Trappanti, that used now and then Hyp. Extremely good, indeedBut, sir, as to slip a note into your hand as you came from to my question. church?
Trap. I'm afraid, sir, that mutton won't be Hyp: Is this he, that Philip turned away for enough for us all. saying I was as proud as a beauty, and homely Hyp. Oh, pray, sir, bespeak what you please. enough to be good-humoured ?
Trap. Sir, your most humble servant—Here, Flo. The very same, I assure ye ; only, as you master! pr’ythee, get us a-ha! ay, get us a see, starving has altered his air a little.
dozen of poached eggs--a dozen, d'ye hear-just Hyp. Poor fellow ! I am concerned for him. to-pop down a little. What makes him so far from Seville ?
Host. Yes, sir.
(Going. Flo. I am afraid all places are alike to him. Trap. Friend, let there be a little slice of
Hyp. I have a great mind to take him into my bacon to every one of them. service; his assurance may be useful, as my case Hyp. But, sirstands.
Trap. 'Odso! I had like to have forgot VOL. III.