better to effect his sute, he turned himself into a Cuckow, and spying her one day walking alone, separated from the other Goddesses, caused a tempest suddenly to arise, for fear of which she fled to shelter: Jupiter to avoid the storm likewise flew into her lap, in virginis Junonis gremium devolavit, whom Juno for pitty covered in her *Apron. But he turned himself forthwith into his own shape, began to embrace and offer violence unto her, sed illa matris metu abnuebat, but she by no means would yield, donec pollicitus Connubium obtinuit, till he vowed and swore to marry her, and then she gave consent This fact was done at Thornax hill, which ever after was called Cuckow hill, and in perpetuall remembrance, there was a Temple erected to Telia Juno in the same place. So powerfull are fair promises, vows, oaths and protestations. It is an ordinary thing too in this case to belie their age, which widdows usually do, that mean to marry again, and batchelours too sometimes, "† Cujus octavum trepidavit ætas, C to say they are younger then they are. Carmides in the said Lucian loved Philematium, an old maid of 45. years; swore to him she was but 32. next December. But to dissemble in this kind, is familiar of all sides, and often it takes. "Fallere credentem res est operosa puellam," 'tis soon done, no such great mastery, Egregiam verò laudem, & spolia ampla," And nothing so frequent as to bely their estates, to prefer their suites, and to advance themselves, Many men to fetch over a young woman, widdows, or whom they love, will not stick to crack, forge and fain any thing comes next, bid his boy fetch. his cloak, rapier, gloves, jewels, &c. in such a chest, scarletgolden-tissue breeches, &c. when there is no such matter; or inake any scruple to give out, as he did in Petronius, that he was master of a ship, kept so many servants, and to personate their part the better take upon them to be gentlemen of good houses, well descended and allied, hire apparell at brokers, some Scavinger or prick-louse Tailors to attend upon them for the time, swear they have great possessions, bribe, lye, cog, and foist how dearly they love, how bravely they will maintain d + Hor. *Or upper garment. Quem Juno miserata veste contexit. Dejeravit illa secundum supra trigesimum ad proximum Decembrem completuram se esse. Ovid. Nam donis vincitur qmnis amor. Catullus 1. el. 5. her, like any Lady, Countess, Dutchess, or Queen; they shall have gowns, tiers, jewels, coaches, and caroches, choice diet, The heads of Parrats, tongues of Nightingals, The milk of Unicorns, &c. as old Vulpone courted Calia in the Comedy, when as they are no such men, not worth a groat, but meer sharkers, to make a fortune, to get their desire, or else pretend love to spend their idle hours, to be more welcome, and for better entertainment. The conclusion is, they mean nothing less, "Nil metuunt jurare, nihil promittere curant: Oathes, vows, promises, are much protested; though he solemnly swear by the Genius of Cæsar, by Venus' shrine, Hymen's deity, by Jupiter, and all the other Gods, give no credit to his words. For when Lovers swear, Venus laughs, Venus hæc perjuria ridet, Jupiter himself smiles, and pardons it withall, as grave Plato gives out; of all perjury, that alone for love matters is forgiven by the gods. If promises, lies, oathes, and protestations will not avail, they fall to bribes, tokens, gifts, and such like feates. Plurimus auro conciliatur amor: as Jupiter corrupted Danae with a golden shower, and Liber Ariadne with a lovely Crown, (which was afterwards translated into the heavens, and there for ever shines;) they will rain Chickins, Florens, Crowns, Angels, all manner of coines and stamps in her lap. And so must he certainly do that will speed, make many feasts, banquets, invitations, send her some present or other every foot. Summo studio parentur epulæ (saith Hœdus) & crebræ fiant largitiones, he must be very bountiful and liberal, seek and sue, not to her onely, but to all her followers, friends, familiars, fidlers, panders, parasites, and houshold servants; he must insinuate himself, and surely will, to all, of all sorts, messengers, porters, carriers; no man must be unrewarded, or unrespected. * Catullus. • Fox. act. 3. sc. 3. + Perjuria ridet amantum Jupiter, et ventos irrita ferre jubet, Tibul. lib. 3. et 6. In Philebo. pejerantibus, his di soli ignosunt. § Catul. Lib. 1, de contemnendis amoribus. I had I had a suiter (saith Aretine's Lucretia) that when he came to my house, flung gold and silver about, as if it had bin chaff. Another suitor I had was a very cholerick fellow; but I so handled him, that for all his fuming, I brought him upon his knees: If there had been an excellent bit in the market, any novelty, fish, fruit, or fowl, muskadel, or malmesey, or a cup of neat wine in all the city, it was presented presently to me, though never so dear, hard to come by, yet I had it: the poor fellow was so fond at last, that I think if I would I might have had one of his eyes out of his head. A third suiter was a Merchant of Rome, and his manner of wooing was with *exquisite musick, costly banquets, poems, &c. I held him off till at length he protested, promised, and swore pro virginitate regno me donaturum, I should have all he had, house, goods. and lands, pro concubitu solo; Neither was there ever any Conjurer, I think, to charm his spirits that used such attention, or mighty words, as he did exquisite phrases; or General of any army so many stratagems to win a city, as he did tricks and devices to get the love of me. Thus men are active and passive, and women not far behinde them in this kinde: Audax ad omnia fæmnia, quæ vel amat, vel odit. h + For half so boldly there can non, They will crack, counterfeit, and collogue as well as the best, with handkerchiefs, and wrought nightcaps, purses, poses, and such toyes as he justly complained, "Cur mittis violas? nempe ut violentius urer; Why dost thou send me Violets, my dear? To violate and wound my gentle heart. When nothing else will serve, the last refuge is their tears. Het scripsi (testor amorem) mixta lachrymis & suspiriis, 'twixt tears and sighs, I write this (I take love to witness), saith Chelidonia to Philonius. Lumina que modò fulmina, jam flumina h Dial. Ital. argentum ut palcas projiciebat. Biliosum habui amatorem qui supplex flexis genibus, &c. Nulius recens allatus terræ fructus, nullum cupediarum genus tam carum erat, nullum vinum Creticum pretiosum, quin ad mc ferret illico; credo alterum oculum pignori daturus, &c. *Post musicam opiperas epulas, et tantis juramentis, donis, &c. Nunquam aliquis umbrarum conjurator tanta attentione, tamq; potentibus verbis usus est, quam ille exquisitis mihi dictis, &c. + Chaucer. Ab crudele genus nec tutum fœmina nomen! Tibul. 1. 3. eleg. 4. 'Jovianus Pon. + Aristænetus lib. 2. epist. 13. lachry * lachrymarum, those burning torches are now turn'd to floods of tears. Aretine's Lucretia, when her sweet heart came to town, wept in his bosome, "that he might be perswaded those tears were shed for joy of his return." Quartilla in Petronius, when nought would move, fell a weeping, and as Balthazar Castilio paints them out, "To these Crocodile's tears, they will add sobs, fiery sighs, and sorrowful countenance, pale colour, leanness, and if you do but stir abroad, these fiends are ready to meet you at every turn, with such a sluttish neglected habit, dejected look, as if they were now ready to dye for your sake; and how, saith he, shall a young novice thus beset, escape?" But beleeve them not. -"+animam ne crede puellis, Namque est fœmineâ tutior unda fide." Thou thinkest peradventure, because of her vows, tears, smiles, and protestations, she is solely thine, thou hast her heart, hand, and affection, when as indeed there is no such matter, as the Spanish Bawd said, gaudet illa habere unum in lecto, alterum in portá, tertium qui domi suspiret, she will have one sweet heart in bed, another in the gate, a third sighing at home, a fourth, &c. Every yong man she sees and likes hath as much interest, and shall as soon injoy her as thy self. On the other side, which I have said, men are as false, let them swear, protest, and lye; x . Quod vobis dicunt, dixerunt mille puellis." They love some of them those eleven thousand Virgins at once, and make them believe, each particular, he is besotted on her, or love one till they see another, and then her alone: like Milo's wife in Apuleius, lib. 2. Si quem conspexerit speciosa forme invenem, venustate ejus sumitur, & in eum animum intorquet. "Tis their common complement in that case, they care not what they swear, say, or do: One while they slight them, care not for them, rail down right and scoffe at them, and then again they will run mad, hang themselves, stab and kill, if they may not enjoy them. Henceforth therefore, nulla viro juranti fœmina credat," let not maids believe them. These tricks and counterfeit pas Suaviter flebam, ut persuasum habeat lachrymas præ gaudio illius reditus mihi emanarc. Lib. 3. his accedunt, vultus subtristis, color pallidus, gemebunda vox, ignita suspiria, lachrimæ prope innumerabiles. Ista se statim ombræ offerunt tanto squalore et in omni fere diverticulo tanta macie, ut illas jamjam moribundas putes. Cœlestina act. 7. Barthio interpret omnibus arridet, et à singulis amari se solam dicit. * Ovid. Petronius. sions sions are more familiar with women, * finem hic dolori faciet aut vitæ dies, miserere amantis, quoth Phædra to Hippolitus. Joessa, in + Lucian, told Pythias, a yong man, to move him the more, that if he would not have her, she was resolv'd to make away her self. "There is a Nemesis, and it cannot chuse but grieve and trouble thee, to hear that I have either strangled or drowned my self for thy sake." Nothing so common to this sexe, as oaths, vows, and protestations, and as I have already said, tears, which they have at command; for they can so weep, that one would think their very hearts were dissolved within them, and would come out in tears, their tys are like rocks, which still drop water, diariæ lachrymæ & sudoris in modum turgeri promptæ, saith Aristænetus, they wipe away their tears like sweat, weep with one eye, laugh with the other; or as children § weep and cry, they can both together. "Neve puellarum lachrymis moveare memento, Ut flerent oculos erudiêre suos." Care not for women's tears, I counsel thee, And as much pity is to be taken of a woman weeping, as of a Goose going bare-foot. When Venus lost her son Cupid, she sent a Cryer about, to bid every one that met him take heed. "Si flentem aspicias, ne mox fallâre, caveto; Take heed of Cupid's tears, if cautelous, A thousand years, as Castilio conceives, "will scarce serve to reckon up those allurements and guiles, that men and women use to deceive one another with. *Seneca Hippol. +Tom. 4. dial. merit. tu vero aliquando mærore afficieris ubi audieris me à meipsa laqueo tui causa suffocatam aut in puteum præcipitatai. Epist. 20. 1. 2. Matronæ flent duobus oculis, moniales quatuor, virgines uno, meretrices nullo. y Ovid. * Imagines deorum fol. 332. è Moschi amore fugitivo, quem Politianus Latinum fecit. Lib. 3. mille vix anni sufficerent ad omnes illas machinationes, dolosq; commemorandos, quos viri et mulieres ut se invicem circumveniant, excogitare solent. SUB |