nary sign of it. Love is blind, as the saying is, Cupid's blind, and so are all his followers. "Quisquis amat ranam, ranam putat esse Dianam." Every Lover admires his Mistress, though she be very deformed of her self, ill-favored, wrinkled, pimpled, pale, red, yellow, tand, tallow-faced, have a swoln Jugler's platter face, or a thin, lean, chitty face, have clouds in her face, be crooked, dry, bald, goggle-eyd, blear-ey'd or with staring eys, she looks like a squis'd cat, hold her head still awry, heavy, dull, hollow eyed, black or yellow about the eyes, or squint-eyed, sparrowmouthed, Persean hook-nosed, have a sharp Fox nose, a red nose, China flat, great nose, nare simo patuloque, a nose like a promontory, gubber-tushed, rotten teeth, black, uneven, brown teeth, beetle browed, a Witch's beard, her breath stink all over the room, her nose drop winter and summer, with a Bavarian poke under her chin, a sharp chin, lave eared, with a long crane's neck, which stands awry too, pendulis mammis, “her dugs like two double jugs," or else no dugs, in that other extream, bloody-faln-fingers, she have filthy long unpared nailes, scabbed hands or wrists, a tand skin, a rotten carkass, crooked back, she stoops, is lame, splea-footed "as slender in the middle as a cow in the wast," gowty legs, her ankles hang over her shooes, her feet stink, she breed lice, a meer changeling, a very mon ster, an aufe imperfect, her whole complexion savours, an harsh voyce, incondite gesture, vile gate, a vast virago, or an ugly tit, a slug, a fat fustilugs, a trusse, a long lean rawbone, a skeleton, a sneaker (si qua latent meliora puta), and to thy judgement looks like a mard in a lanthorn, whom thou couldst not fancy for a world, but hatest, loathest, and wouldst have spit in her face, or blow thy nose in her bosome, remedium amoris to another man, a dowdy; a slut, a scold, a nasty, rank, rammy, filthy, beastly quean, dishonest peradventure, obscene, base, beggerly, rude, foolish, untaught, peevish, Irus' daughter, Thirsites' sister, Grobians' scholler, if she love her once, he admires her for all this, he takes no notice of any such errours, or imperfections of body or mind, « * * Ipsa hæc- delectant, veluti Balbinum Polypus Agnæ;" he had rather have her then any woman in the world. If he were a King, she alone should be his Queen, his Empress. O that he had but the wealth and treasure of both the Indies to endow her with, a carrack of Diamonds, a chain of Pearl, a cascanet of Jewels (a pair of calf skin gloves of four pence a pair were fitter), or some such toy, to send her for a token, she n Love is like a false glasse, which represents every thing fairer then it is, *Hor, ser. lib. sat. 1. 3. should should have it with all his heart; he would spend myriads of crowns for her sake. Venus her self, Panthea, Cleopatra, Tarquin's Tanaquil, Herod's Mariamne, or * Mary of Burgundy if she were alive, would not match her. " († Vincet vultus hæc Tyndarios, Qui moverunt horrida bella.” Let Paris himself be judge) renowned Helena comes short, that -"(Quicquid erit placidi, lepidi, grati, atque faceti, What e're is pretty, pleasant, facete, well, " § Dicebam Triviæ formam nihil esse Dianæ." Diana was not to be compar'd to her, nor Juno, nor Minerva, nor any Goddess. Thetis' feet were as bright as silver, the ancles of Hebe clearer than chrystal, the arms of Aurora as ruddy as the Rose, Juno's brests as white as snow, Minerva wise, Venus fair; but what of this? Dainty come thou to me. She is all in all, Cælia ridens Est Venus, incedens Juno, Minerva loquens, **Fairest of fair, that fairnesse doth excell. Ephemerus' in Aristænetus, so far admireth his Mistress' good parts, that he makes proclamation of them, and challengeth all comers in her behalf. "w Who ever saw the beauties of the East, or of the west, let them come from all quarters, all, and tell truth, if ever they saw such an excellent feature as this is." A good fellow in Petronius cryes out, no tongue can †† tell his Ladie's fine feature, or expresse it, quicquid dixeris minùs erit, &c. No tongue can her perfections tell, In whose each part, all tongues may dwell. Most of your Lovers are of his humour and opinion. She is nulli secunda, a rare creature, a Phoenix, the sole commandress of his thoughts, Queen of his desires, his only delight: as ¶ Triton now feelingly sings, that Love-sick Sea-God: W Locheus. The daughter and heir of Carolus Pugnax. + Seneca in Octavia. Mantuan. Egl. 1. Angerianus. ** Fayry Queen. Cant. lir. 4. Quis unquam formas vidit orientis, quis occidentis, veniant undique omnes, & dicant veraces, an tam in signem viderint formam. ejus possit comprehendere. Calcagnini dial, Galat. ++ Nulla vox formam "Candida "Candida Leucothoe placet, & placet atra-Melæne, Fair Leucothe, black Melæne please me well, All the gracious Elogies, Metaphors, Hyperbolical comparisons of the best things in the world, the most glorious names; whatsoever, I say, is pleasant, amiable, sweet, grateful, and delicious, are too little for her. "Phœbo pulchrior & sorore Phœbi.” His Phoebe is so fair, she is so bright, She dims the Sun's lustre, and the Moon's light. Stars, Suns, Moons, Mettals, sweet smelling Flowers, Odours, perfumes, Colours, Gold, Silver, Ivory, Pearls, Pretious Stones, Snow, painted Birds, Doves, Hony, Suger, Spice, cannot expresse her, so soft, so tender, so radiant, sweet, so fair is she. Mollior cuniculi capillo, &c, Lydia bella, puella candida, Quæ benè superas lac, & lilium, Fine Lydia my Mistress, white and fair, Such a description our English Homer makes of a fair Lady. "Candidior folio nivei Galatea ligustri, Whiter Galet then the white withie-wind, ⚫ Catullus. Petronii. Catalect. † Chaucer in the knight's tale. Ovid. Met. 13. So So she admires him again, in that conceited Dialogue of Lucian, which John Secundus, an elegant Dutch modern Poet hath translated into verse. When Doris and those other Sea Nymphs upbraided her with her ugly mishapen Lover Polyphemus; she replyes, they speak out of envy and malice, "Et planè invidia huc mera vos stimulare videtur, And as Heloissa Say what they could, he was a proper man. writ to her Sweet-heart Peter Abelhardus, Si me Augustus orbis imperator uxorem expeteret, mallem tua esse meretrix quam orbis imperatrix; she had rather be his vassal, his Quean, than the world's Empress or Queen. non si me Jupiter ipse forte velit, she would not change her love for Jupiter himself. To thy thinking she is a most loathsome creature; and as when a countrey fellow discommended once that exquisite Picture of Helena, made by Zeuxis, for he saw no such beauty in it; Nichomachus a love-sick spectator replyed, Sume tibi meos oculos & deam existemabis, take mine eyes, and thou wilt think she is a Goddess, dote on her forthwith, count all her vices, virtues; her imperfections, infirmities, absolute and perfect: If she be flat-nosed, she is lovely; if hook-nosed, kingly; if dwarfish and little, pretty; if tall, proper and manlike, our brave British Bunduica; if crooked, wise; if monstrous, comely; her defects are no defects at all, she hath no deformities. Immo nec ipsum amice stercus fætet, Though she be nasty, fulsome, as Sostratus' bitch, or Parmeno's sow; thou hadst as live have a snake in thy bosome, a toad in thy dish, and callest her witch, divill, hag, with all the filthy names thou canst invent; he admires her on the other side, she is his Idoll, Lady, Mistris, Venerilla, Queen, the quintessence of beauty, an Angel, a Star, a Goddess. Thou art my Vesta, thou my Goddess art, The fragrancy of a thousand Curtesans is in her face + Nec pulchre effigies hæc Cypridis aut Stratonices; 'Tis not Venus' picture that, nor the Spanish Infanta's, as you suppose, (good Sir) no Princess, or King's daughter: no, no, but his divine Mistress forsooth, his dainty Dulcinia, his dear Anti Plutarch. sibi dixit tam pulchram non videri, &c. Quanto qua Lucifer, Aurea Phoebe, tanto virginibus conspectior omnibus Herce. Ovid. Son. 30. †M. D. phila, to whose service he is wholly consecrate, whom he alone adores. *Cui comparatus indecens erit pavo, To whom confer'd a Peacock's undecent, All the graces, veneries, elegances, pleasures, attend her. He prefers her before a Myriade of Court Ladies. 'He that commends Phillis or Neræa, Or Amarillis, or Galatea, Tityrus or Melibea, by your leave, Let him be mute, his Love the praises have. Nay, before all the Gods and Goddesses themselves. So By your leave gentle Gods, this I'le say true, All the bumbast Epithetes, patheticall adjuncts, incomparably fair, curiously neat, divine, sweet, dainty, delitious, &c. pretty diminutives, corculum, suaviolum, &c. pleasant names may be invented, bird, mouse, lamb, puss, pigeon, pigsney, Kid, hony, love, dove, chicken, &c. he puts on her. "Meum mel, mea suavitas, meum cor, my life, my light, my jewell, my glory, § Margareta speciosa, cujus respectu omnia mundi pretiosa sordent, my sweet Margaret, my sole delight and darling. And as Rhodomant courted Isabella; i By all kind words and gestures that he might, Every cloth she wears, every fashion pleaseth him above measure; her hand, "O quales digitos, quas habet illa manus!" |