mutable as a flowre, and 'tis not nature so makes us, but most part the infirmity of the beholder." For ask another, he sees no such matter: Dic mihi per gratias qualis tibi videtur, I pray thee tell me how thou likest my sweet-heart, as she asked her sister in Aristenætus," whom I so much admire, me thinks he is the sweetest gentleman, the properest man that ever I saw but I am in love, I confess (nec pudet fateri) and cannot therefore well judge." But be she fair indeed, golden-haired, as Anacreon his Bathillus, (to examine particulars) she have "+ Flammeolos oculos, collaq; lacteola," a pure sanguine complexion, little mouth, corall lips, white teeth, soft and plump neck, body, hands, feet, all fair and lovely to behold, composed of all graces, elegances, an absolute piece, "Lumina sint Melita Junonia, dextra Minervæ, Let her head be from Prage, paps out of Austria, belly from Let her be such a one throughout, as Lucian deciphers in his Imagines, as Euphanor of old painted Venus, Aristænetus describes Lais, another Helena, Chariclia, Leucippe, Lucretia, Pandora; let her have a box of beauty to repair herself still, such a one as Venus gave Phaon, when he carried her over the Ford; let her use all helps art and nature can yeeld; be like her, and her, and whom thou wilt, or all these in one; a little sickness, a Feaver, small pox, wound, scarre, loss of an eye, or limb, a violent passion, a distemperature of heat or cold, marres all in an instant, disfigures all; child-bearing, old age, that tyrant time will turn Venus to Erynnis; raging time, care, rivels her upon a sudden, after she hath been married a small while, and the black oxe hath trodden on her toe, she will be so much altered, and wax out of favour, thou wilt * Epist. 11. Quem ego deperco Juvenis mihi pulcherrimus videtur; sed forsan amore percita de amore non recte judico. + Luc. Brugensis. * Idem. Bebelius adagiis Ger. § Petron. Cat. not not know her. One growes too fat, another too lean, &c. modest Matilda, pretty pleasing Peg, sweet singing Susan,' mincing merry Moll, dainty dancing Doll, neat Nancy, Jolly Jone, nimble Nel, kissing Kate, bouncing Besse with black eyes, fair Phillis with fine white hands, fidling Franck, tall Tib, slender Sib, &c. will quickly loose their grace, grow fulsome, stale, sad, heavy, dull, sour, and all at last out of fashion. Ubi jam vultus argutia, suavis suavitatio, blandus, risus, &c. Those fair sparkling eyes will look dull, her soft corall lips will be pale, dry, cold, rough, and blew, her skin rugged, that soft and tender superficies will be hard and harsh, her whole complexion change in a moment, and as * Matilda writ to King John. I am not now as when thou saw'st me last, Now is with morphew overgrown and pale. 'Tis so in the rest, their beautie fades as a tree in winter, which Deianira hath elegantly expressed in the Poet, "Deforme solis aspicis truncis nemus? And as a tree that in the green wood growes, With fruit and leaves, and in the Summer blowes, Onr beauty takes his race and journey goes, And doth decrease, and loose, and come to nought, And crooked old age coming on a pace. To conclude with Chrysostome, "When thou seest a fair and beautiful person, a brave Bonaroba, à bella Donna, quæ salivam moveat, lepidam puellam & quam tu facilè ames, a comely woman, having bright eyes, a merry countenance, a shining lustre in her look, a pleasant grace, wringing thy soul, Vides venustam mulie * M. Draiton. * Senec, act. 2. Herc Octeus. rem, fulgidum habentem oculum, vultu hilari coruscantem, eximium quendam aspectum & decorem præse ferentem, urentem mentem tuam & concupiscentiam agentem; cogita terram esse id quod amas, & quod admiraris stercus, & quod te urit, &c cogita illam jam senescere jam rugosam cavis genis, ægrotam; tantis sordibus intus plena est, pituita, stercore; reputa quid intra nares, oculos, cerebrum gestat, quas sordes, &c. Bb 4 and and increasing thy concupiscence; bethink with thy self that it is but earth thou lovest, a meer excrement, which so vexeth thee, which thou so admirest, and thy raging soul will be at rest. Take her skin from her face, and thou shalt see all loathsomeness under it, that beauty is a superficiall skin and bones, nerves, sinewes: suppose her sick, now rivel'd, hoarie-headed, hollow cheeked, old; within she is full of filthy fleame, stinking, putrid, excrementall stuffe: snot and snevill in her nostrills, spettle in her mouth, water in her eyes, what filth in her brains," &c. Or take her at best, and look narrowly upon her in the light, stand nearer her, nearer yet, thou shalt perceive almost as much, and love less, as Cardan well writes, minus amant qui acutè vident, though Scaliger deride him for it: If he see her near, or look exactly at such a posture, whosoever he is, according to the true rules of symmetry and proportion, those I mean of Albertus Durer, Lomatius and Tasnier, examine him of her. If he be elegans formarum spectator, he shall finde many faults in Physiognomy, and ill colour if form, one side of the face likely bigger then the other, or crooked nose, bad eies, prominent veines, concavities about the eys, wrinkles, pimples, redde streeks, frechons, hairs, warts, neves, inequalities, roughness, scabredity, paleness, yellowness, and as many colours as are in a Turkicock's neck, many indecorums in their other parts; est quod desideres, est quod amputes, one leires, another frowns, a third gapes, squints, &c. And 'tis true that he saith, Diligenter consideranti raro facies absoluta, & quæ vitio caret, seldom shall you finde an absolute face without fault, as I have often observed; not in the face alone is this defect or disproportion to be found; but in all the other parts, of body and minde; she is fair indeed, but foolish; pretty, comely and decent, of a majesticall presence, but peradventure imperious, unhonest, acerba, iniqua, self-wil'd: she is rich, but deformed; hath a sweet face, but bad carriage, no bringing up, a rude and wanton flurt; a neat body she hath, but it is a nasty queane otherwise, a very slut, of a bad kinde. As flowres in a garden have colour some, but no smell, others have a fragrant smell, but are unseemly to the eye; one is unsavory to the taste as rue, as bitter as wormwood, and yet a most medicinall cordiall flowre, most acceptable to the stomack; so are men and women; one is well qualified, but of ill proportion, poor and base: a good eye she hath, but a bad hand and foot, fæda pedes & fæda manus, a fine leg, bad teeth, a vast body, &c. Examine all parts of body and minde, I advise thee to enquire of all. See her an * Subtil. 13. h Cardan, subtil. lib. 13. gry, gry, merry, laugh, weep, hot, cold, sick, sullen, dressed, undressed, in all attires, sites, gestures, passions, eat her meales, &c. and in some of these you will surely dislike, Yea not her onely let him observe, but her parents how they carry themselves: for what deformities, defects, incumbrances of body or minde be in them at such an age, they will likely be subject to, be molested in like manner, they will patrizare or matrizare. And with all let him take notice of her companions, in convictu, (as Quiverra prescribes) & quibuscum conversetur, whom she converseth with. "Noscitur ex Comite, qui non cognoscitur ex se." According to Thucidides, she is commonly the best, de quo minimus foras habetur sermo, that is least talked of abroad. For if she be a noted reveller, a gadder, a singer, a pranker of dancer, then take heed of her. For what saith Theocritus? "At vos festivæ ne ne saltate puellæ, En malus hircus adest in vos saltare paratus," Young men will do it when they come to it, A Fawnes and Satyres will certainly play wreeks, when they come in such wanton Baccho's Elenora's presence. Now when they shall perceive any such obliquity, indecency, disproportion, deformity, bad conditions, &c. let them still ruminate on that, and as Hoedus adviseth out of Ovid, earum mendas notent, note their faults, vices, errours, and think of their imperfections; 'tis the next way to divert and mitigate Love's furious head-strong passions; as a Peacock's feet, and filthy comb, they say, make him forget his fine feathers, and pride of his tail; she is lovely, fair, well-favoured, well qualified, courteous and kinde," But if she be not so to me, what care I how kinde she be." I say with † Philostratus, formosa aliis, mihi superba, she is a tyrant to me, and so let her go. Besides these outward næves or open faults, errors, there be many inward infirmities, secret, some private, (which I will omit) and some more common to the sexe, sullen fits, evil qualities, filthy diseases, in this case fit to be considered; Consideratio fæditatis mulierum, menstruæ imprimis, quam immundæ sunt, quam Savanarola proponit regula septima penitus observandam; and Platina dial. amoris fusè perstringit. Lodovicus Bonacsialus mulieb. lib. 2. cap. 2. Pet. Hædus. Albertus, & infiniti ferè medici. A * Lib. de centem amoribus, earum mendas volvant animo, sæpe ante oculos constituant, sæpe damnent. + In delitiis. + Quum amator annulum se amicæ optaret, ut ejus amplexu frui posset, &c, O te miserum ait annulus, si meas vices obires, videres, audires, &c. nihil non odio dignum observares. Lover, in Calcagninus' Apologies, wished with all his heart he were his mistris' Ring, to hear, embrace, see, and do I know not what: O thou fool, quoth the Ring, if thou wer'st in my room, thou shouldst hear, observe, and see pudenda & panitenda, that which would make thee loath and hate her, yea peradventure all women for her sake. I will say nothing of the vices of their mindes, their pride, envy, inconstancy, weakness, malice, selfwill, lightness, insatiable lust, jealousie; Ecclus 5. 14. "No malice to a woman's, no bitterness like to her's," Eccles. 7. 21. and as the same Author urgeth Prov. 31. 10. "Who shall finde a vertuous woman?" He makes a question of it. Neq; jus neq; bonum, neq; æquum sciunt, melius pejus, prosit, obsit, nihil vident, nisi quod libido suggerit. "They know neither good nor bad, be it better or worse (as the Comicall Poet hath it), beneficiall or hurtfull, they will do what they list." "Insidiæ humani generis, querimonia vitæ, Exuviæ noctis, durissima cura diei, Pœna virum, nex & juvenum, &c." And to that purpose were they first made, as Jupiter insinuates in the + Poet, The fire that bold Prometheus stole from me, Poor mortalls doting shall their death embrace. In fine, as Diogenes concludes in Nevisanus, Nulla est famina quæ non habeat Quid: they have all their faults. Every each of them hath some vice, If one be full of wantonness, When Leander was drowned, the inhabitants of Sestos consecrated Heros' Lanterne to Anteros, Anteroti sacrum, § and he that had good successe in his love should light the candle: but never any man was found to light it; which I can refer to nought, but the inconstancy and lightness of women. 'For in a thousand, good there is not one; Lætheus. the Rose. Chaucer in Romant of + See our English Tatius l. 1. Qui se facilem in amore probarit, hanc succendito. At qui succendat, ad hunc diem repertus nemo. Calcagninus. Ariosto. But |